


The Way We Do

by CupcakeCait



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Love/Hate, M/M, Pining, Smut, cop!Zayn, firefighter!Liam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-05-02 18:49:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 112,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5259749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CupcakeCait/pseuds/CupcakeCait
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn and Liam play on rival football teams, and it's hate at first sight, in Zayn's case at least.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title and chapter lyrics from Fireproof, 'cause that song still goes so hard

                                                                               

**_I think I'm gonna lose my mind..._ **

Liam Payne was a fucking asshole.

The first time Zayn ever saw him he was climbing out of his Range Rover, whipping off his designer shades as he waved to his dickhead friends, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he was late for the game and holding everyone up while he changed into his team's red jersey. Zayn definitely didn't notice how tan his skin was, or how defined his abs looked, and he certainly didn't wonder what quote had meant so much to him that he'd wanted to get it tattooed on his forearm. 

"Who the fuck is this prick?" he asked Niall. He didn't really give a shit, but figured that he might as well find out who was holding them up. The weekly Guns & Hoses games were pretty much the only chance he got to have fun - to do something just for himself, with the added benefit of being able to prove that cops were superior to firefighters in sports as well as life - and he didn't appreciate his time being wasted, especially not by some rich pretty boy.

Niall turned his head to follow Zayn's gaze, running a hand through his blonde hair as he answered him. "Name's Liam Payne. He's a new recruit from somewhere up North."

"And what? They handing out luxury cars to all the hose monkeys now?"

"I guess we fucked up becoming cops instead, huh?" Niall laughed. "Nah, his dad's some kinda fancypants businessman. We're talking big money."

"Fancypants? Is that the official Irish term for it?" Zayn asked him as he turned away from Liam, even more disgusted with him than he had been moments before. The only thing worse than a fireman (which in his experience was basically synonymous with asshole) was a self-entitled, snobby fireman. 

The second time Zayn saw Liam was only minutes later, when he was sprawled on top of him, having tackled Zayn to the ground despite the fact that they were playing  _touch fucking football_. Zayn hadn't even seen him coming; Liam'd just barreled into him out of nowhere, obviously trying to impress his teammates, who Zayn could now hear laughing at him. His face was only inches from Zayn's, but he was too busy trying to push Liam's heavy ass off of him to notice how full and pink Liam's lips were as they smirked down at him, or how having him on top of him made something stir inside of him that he hadn't felt in  _forever_.

"You two need a room?" Niall asked with a chuckle as he jogged up to them. For someone who was supposed to be Zayn's best friend and partner - the person he was supposed to trust with his life - he sure could be a dick. 

"You feel like getting off me some time this year?" Zayn grunted, doing his best to roll out from under Liam.

Liam laughed as he pushed himself off, reaching a hand down to Zayn. He ignored it. "Sorry. You're more comfortable than you look," he said, looking anything but sorry. Fucking asshole.

Zayn winced a little as he stood up and felt a twinge in his back, but he kept his face as neutral as he could, not wanting to give Liam the satisfaction of knowing he'd injured him.

"Is there some kind of rule that you have to be a douche to be a firefighter?" he asked Niall as they began to walk away. 

"Pretty sure it's the number one requirement," he agreed. They were making absolutely zero effort to keep their voices down, so it really wasn't surprising that Liam had something to say.

"Hey Harry," he called out to one of his teammates, the curly-haired one that Zayn'd been playing against since he'd joined the league, who, in all fairness, didn't seem to be quite as much of a dick as the other firefighters he'd met. "You know what cops and firemen have in common?"

"What's that, Liam?"

"They both want to be firemen."

No fucking way was Zayn going to let this asshole tackle him  _and_ badmouth him. "Oh yeah? You know why they created a police force, right? So that firefighters could have heroes too."

Liam turned around to look at Zayn with a gleam in his chocolate brown eyes. "Is that so? 'Cause I always heard it was so that they had somewhere to put all the people who are too out of shape to be firemen."

Zayn took a few steps closer to him, intrigued to find someone who seemed just as able to give it as to take it. "Like I give a shit about what someone who plays with a hose for a living thinks of me."

Liam's smirk turned into a full on grin as he closed the gap between them, lowering his voice so that only Zayn could hear him. "I do play with a hose for a living, and you should see how good I am with it. I can work magic with a hose, baby."

His chest was almost flush against Zayn's by the time he finished speaking, and Zayn shoved him away and turned around, doing his best to ignore the heat in his cheeks. What the fuck had that been about?

Zayn pointedly ignored Liam for the rest of the game, focusing on kicking a little ass instead. The game was close, but the Guns ended up winning when Zayn threw an amazing pass to one of his teammates, and he smiled as he heard his girls cheering for him from the sidelines.

After some pats on the ass from his teammates and fist bumps with the losers, Zayn made his way over to where Doniya, Waliyha and Safaa were waiting for him. "Good job, Zayn!" Safaa shouted, running up to him and launching herself into his waiting arms.

"Thanks, sweets. Did you see that last play? I threw that one just for you."

"Really?" she asked, her eyes lighting up.

"Course. Gotta keep my number one fan happy."

"Who's that guy over there? The one who took you down earlier," Doniya asked, nodding her chin in Liam's direction.

Zayn shrugged as he set Safaa down. "Just some douche."

"A pretty cute douche..." Waliyha murmured.

"Hey! Watch your language," he admonished her.

"You literally just said the same exact word," she said, rolling her eyes with a conviction that only teenagers are capable of.

"Whatever, let's get outta here. 'M starving." Doniya nodded and Zayn helped her to pack up their stuff before they started walking out of the park, headed for home. They'd almost made it to the sidewalk when he heard someone call out for him.

"Hey Zayn, wait up a minute!"

Zayn turned around and saw Liam of all people heading towards him. He thought about ignoring him, but he knew Doniya would give him shit for it so he stopped and waited for him, telling the girls that he'd catch up with them in a minute.

"Is that your family?" Liam asked as he reached Zayn, as if this asshole had any right to ask him anything.

"Yep."

"Your daughter looks a lot like you. How old is she?"

"Who, Safaa? She's five, but she's not my kid, she's my sister. They all are," Zayn told him slowly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. His tone was dripping with annoyance, which really wasn't fair since people assumed that he and Doniya were a couple and that Safaa was their kid all the time. It usually didn't bother him, but as Zayn was quickly learning, everything about Liam Payne bothered him.

Zayn saw what looked like relief flash over Liam's face, though he wasn't looking at Zayn directly. He followed his gaze and found it trained on his sisters' retreating figures, and  _oh_. If this fucker thought that there was any way Zayn was going to let him anywhere near Doniya he had another thing coming. Zayn decided that he'd had enough of this conversation and of Liam in general, but just as he turned to go he felt Liam's hand on his lower back and his breath against his ear.

"Sorry if I hurt you earlier. I like to get a little rough and tumble sometimes. How about you, Zayn? You like it rough?"

Zayn's mouth dropped open in shock, because honestly, who did this guy think he was? But by the time he turned around to ask Liam exactly that he was already walking off, and Zayn was left standing there with his mouth hanging wide open like an idiot.

He groaned as he jogged to catch up with his sisters, vowing to stay the fuck away from Liam Payne in the future. Or to give him a taste of his own medicine and tackle _him_ during the next game. One or the other. Maybe even both.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Something deep inside me, I can't give up...** _

It ended up being harder to stay away from Liam that Zayn had anticipated. He could hear laughter drifting out of his apartment as he made his way up to the fourth floor a few days later, and he smiled, thinking that he'd do whatever he could to be able to hear his girls laugh more often. Growing up their house had been filled with nonstop laughter and lots of love, but things had been different since the accident. Zayn did the best he could, he really did, but he feared that his best wasn't always good enough.

His smile died on his lips as he unlocked the front door and walked in to see everyone crowded around Liam, who looked completely out of place in the shabby apartment. Zayn's eyes went immediately to the couch, which was still covered with his blanket and pillow from the night before, and he cursed himself for having been too lazy to put them away this morning. And then he cursed Liam fucking Payne, because how dare this asshole make him feel ashamed of his home.

Zayn squared his shoulders and raised his chin as he walked the few steps it took to get to the kitchen, giving Safaa a kiss on the head before glaring at Liam. "What the hell are you doing here?" he asked, earning a swat on the arm from Doniya.

Liam had the good graces to look a bit rebuffed, at least, but his voice was sure when he answered him. "I live not too far from here, and I saw Don," - _Don? Did he really just fucking call his sister Don?_ \- "struggling with a load of groceries. I recognized her from our game and offered to help."

"It was very nice of him," Doniya added, looking pointedly at Zayn. He ignored her.

"Where do you live?" Zayn asked Liam, doing his best to ignore the way Liam was looking him up and down. Zayn didn't even bother to stand up straight, since he already knew how good he looked in his tight navy uniform as he leaned back against the kitchen counter. Not that he gave a damn whether Liam thought he looked good or not (but he did, he definitely did).

Liam waved his hand towards the window closest to him. "A few blocks down, over on Sayler Ave."

Zayn nodded, his suspicions about Liam confirmed. Sayler Avenue may only have been a few streets over, but that neighborhood bore no resemblance to Zayn's, made up mainly of fancy old Victorians with expensive cars parked in front. Cars like Liam's. Zayn looked him up and down, seeing him up close out of uniform for the first time. His clothes looked nice, though Zayn couldn't tell if they were designer or not, since he really didn't know shit about that stuff. But he could definitely tell how expensive his watch was. It was huge and gaudy and probably cost more than Zayn made in a month.

Like Zayn had suspected from the start, Liam Payne was an asshole. He could carry Zayn's groceries a million times and that fact would still remain.

"Well, thanks for your help. I can take it from here," Zayn told Liam, hoping that he'd get the hint that he wasn't welcome.

"I've invited him to stay for dinner. As a thank you," Doniya piped up.

"Yay!" Safaa shouted, grabbing one of Liam's big hands and jumping up and down. To his credit he looked just as happy as she did, even jumping up and down a few times himself, which delighted Safaa to no end. Zayn made a mental note to try to stop being so grumpy all the time around her. It was nice to see her this excited, even if it was because of a fucking fireman.

Zayn decided that just because Liam was making himself at home didn't mean that he needed to hang around to watch it, so he left the room without another word, heading into the bathroom for a shower. The hot water felt heavenly after a long day at work, and he did his best to force his tense muscles to relax. But for some reason knowing that Liam was only a few yards away from his naked body was getting him way, way more worked up than it should. For once he was grateful when the hot water cut out, the cold snapping him back to reality and keeping him from imagining what Liam would look like soaking wet.

Zayn changed into his rattiest sweats and a worn out t-shirt, which he took as further proof that he obviously didn't give a fuck what his unwelcome house guest thought of him. They were all crowded around the tiny kitchen table as he joined them, frowning when he saw that Liam was in his goddamn seat, only he'd moved it way closer to Doniya's chair than Zayn ever did.

Zayn picked Safaa up and set her on his lap so that they could share a seat just as Waliyha set a plate of spaghetti in front of him. He gaped at her, shocked that she was even joining them at the table let alone serving him, but she just smiled sweetly, her eyes darting to Liam. Zayn rolled his eyes, a bit annoyed that Liam seemed to be affecting all of the Maliks.

"So, Liam was just telling us how he moved here from Buffalo. You've been there once or twice, right Zayn?" Doniya asked, clearly in an attempt to engage him in conversation.

Zayn glared at her, since she knew exactly when and why he'd gone to Buffalo. "Yeah. Wasn't too impressed with it, honestly."

Liam laughed. "Me either. I always wanted to live in the city, so as soon as I graduated from the academy I headed here. It's a lot different living in New York than I imagined it to be as a kid though. I grew up in a small suburb surrounded by the same group of people my whole life, so I'm not that used to making new friends."

"I bet you miss your mommy and daddy too," Zayn sneered before he could stop himself.

He felt Safaa shuffle on his lap as she reached across the table to pat Liam's hand. "It's okay, Mr. Liam. I miss my mommy and daddy too," she said quietly, making Zayn regret having ever opened his big mouth. He ran a hand through her hair as the other one wrapped around her tiny body, pulling her back so that he could give her a hug.

"We all do, Saf," he whispered in her ear.

Things were quiet for a moment after that, but Liam, god bless him, finally broke the silence.

"So Zayn, how long have you been playing in the league?"

"This is my first year. I wanted to wait until Safaa was in kindergarten so that I didn't have to be away from her too much. But now that she's a big girl," Zayn said, tickling her sides and earning a giggle from her, "and is busy with all her friends, I had some extra time." Zayn blushed as he finished speaking and looked up to see Liam staring at him, a fond look on his face. Zayn looked away, focusing instead on shoving as much food as possible into his mouth. The sooner this dinner was over the better.

He didn't say much for the rest of the meal, not that anyone fucking noticed. No, it was the Liam and Doniya show, both of them chatting up a storm, mainly about stuff that was way too boring for Zayn to even bother listening to, and laughing at each other's dumb jokes as if they were the funniest people in the world.

As soon as everyone had finished eating Zayn set Safaa down and told her to go brush her teeth and to get ready for bed, promising that he'd be in to read her a story in a few minutes. He brought their dishes to the sink before heading out of the room, not wanting to watch Liam flirt with Doniya for any longer than he had to.

"I'm gonna go-" he started to call over his shoulder, before Doniya interrupted him.

"Actually, I told Saf I'd read to her tonight. Come on, Liyha. You two," she said pointing at Liam and Zayn, "can do the dishes."

Zayn groaned audibly. He didn't really mind doing the dishes, he just didn't want to do them with Liam. "It's okay, I can handle them myself if you've got somewhere to be," he told him.

"Haven't got anywhere to be, honestly. Besides, this is probably the most fun I've had since I moved here," he said, and great, now Zayn just felt bad for him.

"I think you need to get out more if this is your idea of fun," he told Liam, turning on the water and picking up a sauce covered plate.

"Maybe you can show me some of the more fun places around town sometime," Liam murmured as he took the now clean plate from Zayn and started to dry it off.

"Hasn't your squad taken you out?" Zayn asked him, because yeah, firemen were dickheads, but they were dickheads who knew how to party.

"No, they did, I just...I just don't fit in that well with them."

"You seemed to fit in with them just fine at the game," he pointed out as he handed Liam another dish to dry. Zayn saw Liam grimace out of the corner of his eye, but he didn't say anything, so neither did Zayn.

The room was quiet for a few moments, save the water running and the clank of the dishes as Liam set them on the drying rack. Zayn hardly knew Liam, but he could tell that he had something he wanted to say. He just had one of those faces that showed everything that he was thinking. Zayn didn't really care what he wanted to talk about, since he was busy racking his brain for a way to subtly let Liam know that Doniya had a boyfriend. She totally didn't, but that didn't mean that Zayn wanted Liam to think that he had a chance with her. Zayn cringed at the thought of having to see him every day, like he would if they started dating. Sure, he didn't seem quite as bad as Zayn'd originally thought, but that didn't mean that he was a good match for his sister.

"So, you know Don has-" Zayn started, at the exact same time as Liam blurted out, "About what Safaa said, about your parents-"

They both cut off at the same time and looked at each other, and Zayn probably would have laughed if Liam hadn't mentioned his parents. He took a deep breath, ready to get the whole sad story out as quickly as possible, but Doniya walked back in before he could begin.

"I'm headed to work. Feel like walking me to the subway?" she asked Liam, who nodded happily in response. Jesus, did he really have to look so excited about walking her a few blocks?

"I can walk her if you don't want to," Zayn offered, but Liam was already shaking his head no.

"No, it's cool. I don't mind at all," he said as he dried his hands off and picked his leather jacket up from the back of Zayn's chair. Doniya waved goodbye to him as they both headed for the door, and he waved back halfheartedly, waiting for a feeling of relief to wash over him now that Liam was finally leaving. He turned back to face Zayn before it came, pausing in the open doorway, a smile on his lips and a question in his eyes.

"You think we could meet up tomorrow night? Maybe finish our conversation?" he asked, and fuck, his voice was so full of hope that Zayn wouldn't have been able to say no even if he'd wanted to. Which he did; he definitely would have preferred to say no.

And yet, there he was, shrugging his shoulders and nodding his head. Liam's entire face lit up at Zayn's acceptance, and as he and Doniya left Zayn found himself thinking that Liam Payne was a lot easier to ignore when the only thing that he'd known about him was that he was an asshole.


	3. Chapter 3

**_I think I'm gonna lose my mind..._ **

So, Zayn may or may not have driven down Liam's street in his cruiser the next day. Really he was just doing what he'd been trained to do in the police academy. If he had to hang out with the asshole then he should least know where he lived. His Range Rover was easy to spot, and of fucking course it was parked in front of one of the fanciest houses on the street, a huge three story Victorian that Zayn had to admit was pretty nice, though seemed like an odd choice for a bachelor, no matter how rich he was. He shook his head in disgust, figuring that it probably belonged to his parents.

He reminded himself that it really didn't matter where Liam lived, or who paid his rent (though Zayn was one hundred percent positive that it was his parents), because he and Liam had never exchanged numbers, so Zayn wasn't going to have to hang out with him anyway. He told himself that this was a good thing. It _was_ a good thing. He already had enough on his plate without having to take a lost puppy like Liam "I'm adorable and all of your sisters are going to fall in love with me" Payne under his wing.

So he wasn't sure why he kept checking his phone for messages all day, or why he told Niall he was busy when he asked if he wanted to hang out that night. He was just keeping his options open, really. It had nothing at all to do with Liam.

So he definitely didn't know why he wasn't totally surprised (or completely annoyed) when his phone buzzed from an unknown number just as he was sitting down for lunch.

 _(212) 555-8311:_ Hi zayn, how are you?

 _(212) 555-8311:_ It's liam. From the game

 _(212) 555-8311:_ And last night

Zayn rolled his eyes as he programmed Liam's number into his phone. How many Liams did he think Zayn met in the course of a week?

 _Zayn:_ How did you get my number?

 _Liam (Asshole):_ Don gave it to me

 _Liam (Asshole):_ So that we could make plans for tonight

 _Liam (Asshole)_ _:_ You still up for it?

Zayn bit his lip. He could think of a few things he'd be up for with Liam, if only he wasn't such a douche. Or so into his sister.

 _Liam (Asshole)_ _:_ I'd really love to hang out if you still want to :-)

Zayn didn't want to. He never had. But now Liam had gone and added a little smiley face to his text, and how the fuck was Zayn supposed to say no to that? He wasn't playing fair.

"Ooooh, who's got you smiling at your phone?" Niall asked, interrupting Zayn's thoughts as he leaned over to try to get a look at the screen. Zayn didn't let him, holding it just out of sight as he typed back a quick response.

 _Zayn:_ I guess that's fine. Text you later with details.

"It's no one," Zayn said to Niall, shoving his phone back in his pocket and ignoring the knowing smirk Niall shot him. "Just some loser firefighter trying to butter me up so that he has a chance with Doniya."

Niall's grin fell. "Well who the hell is it? Does she like him? You cannot let your sister date a fireman, Zayn."

Now it was Zayn's turn to smirk. "Don't worry, Niall," he teased, ruffling a hand through Niall's hair. "You know Don only has eyes for cops with blonde hair and blue eyes and thick Irish-"

"Alright, alright, that's enough outta you," Niall groaned, pushing his chair back so that he could grab his wallet from his back pocket. Zayn paid his portion of the bill just as they got a call about a domestic disturbance, and the rest of their day was go go go, back to back calls leaving Zayn no time think about Liam or how he'd gotten roped into taking him out. Well, hardly any time. Like, basically no time at all, thoughts of Liam only popping into his head as they drove back to the station, and maybe while he was filling out paperwork. And also possibly during his walk home (but definitely not the entire way).

But now he was being forced to come to terms with the fact that he was about to spend the evening with a goddamn firefighter whom he barely knew, and he couldn't think of anything else.

"You're going to wear that?" Waliyha asked. "You looked better in the red one."

"Who cares?" he muttered, earning a pointed look from her. "Jesus Christ, Liyha, it's not like this is a date," he told her, swatting her away as she tried to straighten his collar.

"Then why are you acting like it is?" she asked, waving her hand at the pile of clothes that he'd tried on and discarded.

"I'm not," he insisted. He totally wasn't acting like this was a date, because it definitely wasn't a fucking date.

"How's Clark doing?" Doniya asked out of nowhere, not looking up from the magazine she was flipping through.

Zayn faltered as he pulled off the green shirt and picked up the red one Waliyha had suggested. "Fine. Busy with midterms. Where'd that come from?"

"Just wondering if you two were planning on getting together anytime soon?"

"No. Like I said, midterms," he growled, putting an end to that particular line of questioning. It's not like he and Clark were having problems, because they weren't. They just hadn't spent much time together recently, and the last time they'd hung out, things had felt...different.

He brushed those feelings aside, since there was nothing he could do about them right now. No, he couldn't do anything right now, since he was already late to meet Liam for this stupid non-date.

"Okay, okay. I was just wondering," Doniya relented, finally looking up at him. "Waliyha's right. That shirt does look better on you."

Zayn huffed, briefly considering changing again just to spite them. He decided not to in the end. He liked to look good after all, even if he wasn't going to see anyone whose opinion he cared about.

"Alright, I'm outta here," he said, grabbing his keys and phone from the coffee table.

"You look very handsome," Safaa said from her spot on the sofa. "Have fun on your date," she added with a giggle, earning a laugh from the other girls.

Zayn scrunched up his nose at her. "You are going to be in so much trouble for that when I get home," he warned her, bending down to plant several kisses on her cheek as she ducked away from him. "And you," he continued, straightening up and pointing at Doniya, "you're on my s-h-i-t list for giving Liam my number without my permission. You should be the one stuck going out with him."

"Oh the horror," Doniya said dramatically, clutching a hand to her heart. "Forced to go on a date with a hot firefighter. How ever would I survive?"

Zayn ignored her and headed for the door. "I know what s-h-i-t spells. It spells shit!" he heard Safaa call out happily just as he closed it behind him. He sighed. He really was a terrible big brother.

But Doniya was a worse sister, he reminded himself as he headed towards the restaurant she'd suggested. Zayn couldn't believe that he was going to be stuck spending the evening with Liam, when he should have been at home hanging out with his family. He cursed under his breath as he arrived at his destination, vowing to have one drink - two tops - with him before getting out of there.

He spotted Liam at the bar, wearing a Buffalo Bills jersey and a backwards baseball cap. Zayn swallowed, rethinking his original plan. He _was_ kind of hungry after all, and Doniya and Waliyha would probably yell at him if he didn't hang out with Liam for at least an hour or two.

"Hey," he said as he walked over to the bar. Liam stood up quickly, moving like he was going to pull out Zayn's chair for him, but Zayn beat him to it, sitting down and shooting Liam a quizzical look.

"You look nice," Liam told him, almost shyly. "That's a really good color on you."

Fuck, this guy was really laying it on thick. He must be desperate to get with Doniya, and no fucking way was Zayn going to let that happen. Not that he really cared who Don dated; he just knew that Liam wasn't right for her.

Zayn narrowed his eyes. "Every color is a good color on me."

Liam laughed. "Can't argue with you there," he agreed happily, and fuck he was way too goddamn cheerful. It almost made Zayn miss the asshole he'd been on the football field.

Zayn sighed, signalling for the bartender. He was pretty sure he was going to need a drink (or ten) to get through the rest of the night.


	4. Chapter 4

**_I roll and I roll 'til I'm out of luck, yeah..._ **

Two drinks in, and Zayn was struggling. It was all Liam's fault, really. Liam, with his big dumb grin and his stupid crinkly eyes. Liam, with his irritatingly broad shoulders and his perfect fucking hair. Zayn kept having to remind himself that Liam was, in fact, an asshole. It was just so easy to forget that they weren't actually on a date - that he and Liam weren't even friends - what with Liam being all charming and shit. He was almost obnoxiously adorable, all sweet smiles and soft giggles, no matter how rude Zayn was to him. But Zayn was always up for a challenge, so he'd just have to try a bit harder.

"Man, do you ever shut up?" he groaned, earning another laugh from Liam, like he thought Zayn was joking. Zayn sighed heavily, resigning himself to another hour or so of forced conversation before he could leave.

It could be worse, he supposed. Liam had been talking nonstop, mostly about dumb shit that Zayn really didn't give a damn about, but he had to admit that there was something about the way that his lips moved when he spoke that wasn't completely unattractive. They were bright pink and looked so soft, like they were made to pout, or for sucking c-

_Shit._ Zayn really needed another drink, or maybe some fresh air to clear his head. Actually, what he really needed was for this night to end. They'd moved from the bar to a table for two, and with Liam sitting across from him, their knees bumping under the table and their hands resting only inches apart, Zayn found himself unsure of where to look or what to say. Being this close to Liam was making him feel hot all over and he didn't know why. All he knew for sure was that Liam got under his skin in a way that no one else ever had, making him feel equal parts annoyed and turned on, and he fucking hated it. 

And Liam would not stop with the questions, like he wanted to learn every single thing he could about Zayn, from what he did for fun to why he'd joined the force. Zayn searched Liam's intrusive inquiries for hints that it was really Doniya that Liam wanted information on, but his interest seemed genuine. Realizing this only served to make Zayn more uncomfortable, certain now that Liam just wanted to find out about Zayn's tragic past. He opened his mouth to fill Liam in on all the gory details, wanting to get it over with, but was struck silent when he recognized a familiar face walking into the restaurant.

"Louis?" he called uncertainly, raising a hand in greeting before he could think better of it. "What're you doing here?"

Louis turned at the sound of his name, plastering a grin on his face as he walked towards Zayn and Liam. He slapped a hand on Zayn's shoulder when he reached their table, his grip tight as his smile turned sharp. 

"Just picking up some carryout. How 'bout you?" he asked, eyeing Liam.

Zayn forced his smile to match Louis'. "Oh, um. I'm here with my...this is Liam. Liam, this is Louis," he introduced the two. "Louis was my training officer. He molded me into the mediocre cop you see before you today."

"Don't be silly, Zayn," Louis chided him. "You're far from mediocre. You're downright terrible." They all laughed automatically, and Zayn searched for something more to say. There were just so many topics that were off limits when it came to Louis. Louis seemed to be having the same issue, and Zayn was relieved when he made an excuse to leave, both men promising that they'd get together soon, though Zayn knew that they never would.

"Dude," Liam let out a breath after Louis'd left, pulling a face. "That was like, really awkward. Do you still work with him?"

Zayn let the fake smile fall from his face as he shook his head. "He's actually not on the force anymore," he told Liam, not offering any further details, since it was really none of his business. "He and Doniya used to date," he added casually. "She prefers cops to firemen, just so you know."

Liam shrugged with a chuckle, a sly smile playing at his lips. "Well, no one's perfect."

"Yeah, well the Bills suck," Zayn replied, which really wasn't fair, since Zayn had no idea whether they did or not. The only time he cared about football was when he was on the field.

Liam leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table and licking those fucking lips of his. "Do you have a favorite team, Zayn?" he asked, his eyes twinkling. "'Cause I'm sure we could come up with some kind of bet, if you think you're up for it."

Zayn's belly swooped as he felt a familiar pull, the same one that had driven him to try to push Liam's buttons the day they'd met. He could think of a million things he'd like to bet Liam for, none of them involving any clothing. He began racking his brain, thinking back over snippets of conversations he'd overheard, trying to remember which teams were performing well this season.

"And what exactly would I get, when I won?" Zayn wondered aloud, bending his elbow so that he could rest his chin in his hand, his face less than a foot away from Liam's.

Liam raised an eyebrow, biting his lower lip, forcing Zayn's attention back to his mouth. The air between them seemed electric, buzzing with tension in the most intriguing way as the noise of the restaurant faded away, Liam the only thing that Zayn could focus on. "I dunno about you, but I think I'd want to go all in."

Zayn's heart beat a little faster as he squirmed in his seat. "All in?"

"Winner takes all," Liam said, lifting his beer bottle to his lips and taking a long sip. Zayn studied the way his throat moved as he swallowed, his own mouth going dry. "Whatever the other is willing to give them," he added, his eyes locked on Zayn as he set his drink down, his fingers trailing up and down the neck of the bottle.

"Are you fellas ready to order?"

Their server's voice cut through the fog clouding Zayn's mind, reminding him that he didn't actually like Liam, nor did he want to win a bet against him just so that he could do any number of dirty things to him. He _didn't_ , not one fucking bit.

He sat back in his seat, any tension he'd imagined between them dissipating. "I think we need a minute," Liam said, his voice soft and flirty, his gaze still on Zayn. Zayn felt all of his original annoyance towards Liam rush back, for being a spoiled rich kid who couldn't mind his own business, and for making Zayn feel things that he most certainly did not want to feel.

"You know what, I don't think I'm really that hungry after all, so why don't we just get this over with?" he grumbled, all traces of humor gone from his tone.

"Get what over with?" Liam asked, looking genuinely confused.

"You said you wanted to hang out so we could finish our conversation from last night, right? So go ahead and ask me what you want to know."

Liam shook his head, his brow furrowing. "Zayn, I don't want to know anything that you don't want to tell me," he insisted.

Zayn arched a dark eyebrow. "So you don't want to know what happened to my parents? Or how Doniya and I got stuck taking care of two kids before we were out of our teens?" Zayn's heart hurt to word it that way, but it always hurt to talk about his parents, and he had a point to get across to Liam. 

Liam apparently didn't like the way Zayn had worded it either, anger flashing across his features. "You're really bitter for someone who was blessed with that face," he muttered, before closing his eyes and letting out a slow breath. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. You don't need to tell me what happen-"

"It was a car accident," Zayn blurted, suddenly needing Liam to see why he was the way he was. "We were coming back from visiting a college I'd gotten into upstate and there was a freak accident. It wasn't raining, or snowing, and no one was driving drunk, so there wasn't even anyone to blame. A truck in front of us had a blow out and had to slam on their brakes, and my dad couldn't stop in time. Saf and Liyha were in the back with me, and we were barely hurt, just some cuts and bruises. I got them out as quickly as I could, but by the time I got back to the car my mom was...she was gone and my dad was unconscious. He didn't make it through the night."

Zayn paused as he felt an unfamiliar pressure building behind his eyes, his throat tightening as he forced down another drink.  

"I'm so sorry, Zayn," Liam said, his voice tight. "I'm sorry that happened and I'm sorry you were there to see it." 

Zayn looked up into Liam's damp eyes, his heart hardening when he saw the pity in them.

"Yeah, well. It's fine. Doniya dropped out of college and I joined the academy and we're making it work. Who cares about school when you need a steady paycheck, right? Not that you'd understand what it's like to have to worry about shit like bills and putting food on the table."

Liam smiled softly, but it didn't reach his eyes, which looked sad as he began to pick at the label on his beer bottle. "You really don't know anything about my life, Zayn," he said quietly.

"I know enough," Zayn insisted, thinking once again of Liam's big house and his fancy car and the parents who were probably wishing he'd come home to Buffalo.

Liam sighed, any semblance of a smile disappearing as he raised his head to look at Zayn. "You got dealt a shit hand, and I'm really sorry about your parents, but you've got a family who loves you, and who you love, so maybe you should try to get rid of that chip on your shoulder. For such a hot guy you're really not looking too attractive right now." 

"Like I'm gonna take life advice from someone like you."

Liam's eyes went wide, his features clouding for an instant before his face went completely blank, all emotion wiped clear as he stood up and pulled his wallet out. "Listen, I thought maybe we could be, I dunno, friends or something, but I was obviously wrong," he said, tossing a few bills onto the table. Zayn's chest tightened with panic, or regret, as he realized that Liam was leaving, but he forced a smile to his face as he looked up at him.

"Yeah well, that was probably a shit idea from the start," he agreed. Liam didn't say anything more, just nodded once at Zayn and turned and walked away. 

Zayn sat at the table for several more minutes, tamping down the desire to chase after him and apologize. He had nothing to be sorry for, and there was no reason for him to be upset that Liam was done with him. 

Good fucking riddance.

He walked home quickly, needing the distraction that his family would provide him. Doniya was the only one up when he walked through the door, but her bright smile did nothing to make him feel better.

"How was your date?" she asked as soon as he'd plopped down on the sofa next to her, not allowing him even a second to recover from the disastrous evening, or to calm the whirlwind of feelings threatening to spill out of him.

Zayn shrugged, and made sure his voice sounded as light and unaffected as possible when he answered. "Boring. Uneventful. And not a date," he said, ignoring the fact that none of those things felt true.


	5. Chapter 5

**_I'm feeling something deep inside..._ **

Zayn felt uneasy as he walked towards the park for his game early Saturday morning, in a way he never had before, and he wasn't sure why. He hadn't seen Liam since their disastrous non-date, and he'd used the time apart to remind himself of how little he cared about Liam, or about what Liam thought of him. What concern was it to him if Liam didn't want to be his friend? He had enough friends, and he'd be better off if he could just put Liam out of his mind completely. 

None of which explained why he felt his stomach clenching as he approached the field, almost like he was nervous. Which was ridiculous, obviously. Zayn was there to win, plain and simple, and he wasn't going to let thoughts of Liam Payne interfere with that plan. He just wouldn't think of him at all, or even look his way.

Which, of course, Liam was going to make impossible, Zayn realized as his eyes were drawn automatically to him as he stepped out of his SUV, looking every bit as much of an asshole as he had the first time Zayn'd seen him. He rolled his eyes as he watched Liam step into the sunshine, pulling his shirt over his head in one fluid motion. Seriously? He did know that he could change into his jersey at home, instead of waiting until he got to the field, right? Zayn scoffed and forced himself to look away. Dickhead probably got off on having an audience, especially when it included an unwilling Zayn.

He went through his warm-up routine, concentrating on each movement and ignoring everything else. Part of him wondered if Liam would approach him, and maybe take back what he'd said to Zayn before he'd left the restaurant, half expecting to feel a tap on his shoulder as he stretched his muscles until he felt loose and limber. Someone did finally come to stand beside him, but it was just Niall.

"What's Payne doing with your sisters? Is that the fucker that likes Doniya?" he asked. Zayn whipped his head to the sidelines, watching as Liam hugged each of his sisters in turn, even picking Safaa up and spinning her around in a tight circle.

"Fuck, Niall, you have no idea how annoying he is," Zayn groaned, bringing a hand up to shield his eyes from the sun as he watched Liam set Safaa down and continue to chat with Doniya and Waliyha. "Bastard actually seems to think he has a chance with her."

Niall clapped him on the back. "Guess we'll just have to show him he's wrong then."

Zayn smiled, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he began to get excited for the game. Sure, it was just touch football, but Liam hadn't seemed to care much about that rule during the last match, so why should Zayn? "I like the way you think, Horan."

The ref blew the whistle and Zayn headed towards the back of the field, glancing over his shoulder to see Liam running along the sidelines to take his place opposite him. He nodded once at Niall, letting him know where he wanted him to kick the ball, and then turned back, heat inching up his spine when he found Liam watching him. Gone was the smile Zayn had already grown so accustomed to, a frown in its place as he narrowed his eyes at Zayn and pointedly turned his attention towards Niall as he kicked off.

The ball sailed through the crisp fall air, headed straight towards Liam. Zayn's teammates held back, expecting Liam to call for a fair catch, but Zayn had seen the challenge in his eyes even from across the field, and he knew that Liam wouldn't back down. Zayn ran towards him without a second thought. He was fast, reaching Liam only seconds after he'd caught the ball, plowing into him before he'd made it more than a few yards.

They hit the ground hard, Zayn landing on top of Liam with a thud, forcing the air from Liam's lungs as Zayn's thighs rested on either side of his hips. Zayn propped himself up, his hands by Liam's head as he looked down at him. He felt a tickle of arousal at Liam's firm body beneath him, the ball the only thing between them. Then he immediately felt guilty, because of Clark.

But Clark wasn't there, he reminded himself. Clark was never there, too busy having fun at college to have much time for Zayn. He climbed off of Liam slowly, before looming over him, one arm extended in the hopes that Liam would let him help him up. Liam didn't, rolling to his side and pushing himself up on his own, the football still tucked to his side.

"Sick hit," Niall congratulated him, jogging up to them and slapping Zayn's ass. "You alright there?" he said to Liam.

Liam's eyes darted to Zayn. "I can handle it a lot harder than that," he murmured, not looking away from Zayn, and fuck, Zayn really hated him.

Harry reached them next, moving as languidly as he spoke. "Everybody okay?" he asked. Liam nodded, and Harry turned to face Zayn. "That wasn't a very safe maneuver you just pulled. What's it we always say about safety, Liam?"

Zayn looked behind him to see that the rest of the players were watching their exchange, but he could still feel Liam's eyes on him as he answered. "Be safe, sleep with a smoke detector. Or, be safer, sleep with a firefighter."

Harry laughed. "That is true, but I was thinking more along the lines of, there's no tackling in touch football. Think you can remember that?" he asked Zayn, placing a hand on his back.

Zayn shrugged him off. "Let's just play. Fucking firefighters," he muttered, walking back to his teammates. Annoyance burned through him, messing with his head. He had no idea why he let Liam get to him this way. His only consolation was that he seemed to affect Liam just as strongly, but that was little comfort when Zayn missed an easy pass at the end of the game, allowing an interception because he was too caught up watching Liam run towards him, wondering if he was going to tackle him.

He didn't, instead grabbing Zayn's waist just as Zayn released the ball, knowing without looking that it wasn't going to reach his intended destination.

"Gotcha," Liam whispered, his breath hot against Zayn's ear as his hands slid down to Zayn's hips, squeezing him softly and pulling him back until their bodies were flush. His grip tightened, fingers curling in as they watched Harry intercept the ball and run it into his own end zone.

Zayn pushed him away, cursing him as he stomped off the field. He ripped his shirt off as he went, throwing it to the ground in a fit of anger. Fucking Liam, this was all his fault. He turned around to make sure the bastard wasn't following him, only to be met with a shock of cold water as Liam emptied the contents of his water bottle over Zayn's head.

Zayn gaped at him, chills breaking out on his skin, the cool water dripping down his chest to his abs as he grabbed the bottle from him and threw it to the side. "What the actual fuck, Liam?"

"Sorry," Liam purred, stepping close enough that Zayn could feel the stiff nylon of his jersey brushing against his side. "I just couldn't resist. Find 'em hot, leave 'em wet, that's what I always say."

Zayn ground his teeth together, his jaw twitching as he moved forward, bumping his chest against Liam's. "I should kick your ass for that."

"Is that _really_ what you want to do to me, Zayn?" Liam wondered, tilting his head to the side.

Zayn groaned in frustration, not sure if he wanted to kill him, or to kiss him. No, the only thing he knew when it came to Liam fucking Payne was that he didn't know a goddamn thing. "Do you have split personalities?" he demanded, putting his palm flat on Liam's chest, stopping him from getting any closer.

"Huh?" Liam asked, stumbling backwards, the question catching him completely off guard.

"I'm serious. Why do you act like a completely different person here than you do when we're alone?"

"I guess...I guess I'm just a little competitive," he admitted, his trademark cockiness faltering. Zayn shot him a look, because really? "Okay okay, I might be more than a little competitive. Competition just brings out a...a different side of me," he finished and, _oh_. Um. That was definitely not the least bit intriguing to Zayn, and he certainty did not file that fact away for future reference. Nor did it make him want to invite Liam over for game night. (Though he wouldn't be totally annoyed if Doniya did just that.)

"Well, it's really fucking annoying," he told Liam.

"You sure about that? 'Cause I was thinking I might try to act like that more often. Seemed to me that you might like it," he murmured.

Zayn groaned, not sure if he could deal with a flirty, aggressive Liam full-time. Liam seemed to take that as a no, shaking his head regretfully as he started to walk to his car.

"Hey, hold up," Zayn called before he could get too far, digging in his pocket for the cash he'd stashed there before the game. "You uh, you paid too much at the bar the other night."

Liam turned around, but he didn't step any closer. "I'm the one who wanted to hang out, so I should be the one to pay."

Zayn closed the distance between them, grabbing Liam's wrist so that he could press the bills into his palm. "I can pay my own way, Liam. I'm not that fucking poor."

Liam groaned as he pocketed the money, looking like he wanted to be anywhere but next to Zayn. Zayn kind of hated it, seeing Liam in such a hurry to get away from him.

"Listen, I'm sorry," he mumbled quickly.

"What was that?" Liam asked, holding a hand up to his ear, clearly having heard exactly what Zayn said.

"I said I'm sorry or whatever, fuck," he grumbled. "About the other night. I was kinda being a dick, I guess."

"And that's totally out of character for you, right?"

Zayn huffed, tossing his hands in the air. He wasn't going to beg. He couldn't think of anything worse than having to beg to be friends with a fireman, except maybe when that fireman happened to be named Liam Payne.

"Do you still want to be friends or not?" he asked anyway, pushing his wet hair out of his face.

Liam didn't respond right away, the moment stretching out while Zayn waited for him to reply, his heart beating way too fast for such an inconsequential question.

"Friends?" Liam asked, holding out a hand.

Zayn rolled his eyes, groaning. "Friends," he muttered in agreement, though the word _friend_ seemed completely inappropriate when it came to Liam. He could think of a million things he'd rather call him, most of them unflattering. But he still shook Liam's hand, and he still felt a warm flutter of pleasure at the smile that spread across Liam's face, because for some unknown reason he kind of liked knowing that he was the reason for it.


	6. Chapter 6

**_Hotter than a jet stream burning up..._ **

Zayn was shirtless with a head full of feathers the next time he saw Liam. In general, this might have seemed an unreasonable state to be in during the month of November, but their thermostat was broken, causing the temperature inside the apartment to fluctuate wildly, chilly days always seeming to give way to stuffy nights. This explained the lack of a shirt, at least. The feathers were a bit more difficult to explain, but as was usually the case when Zayn found himself doing something embarrassing, it was all Safaa's fault. Her wish was Zayn's command, and if she wanted a pillow fight right before bedtime, who was he to argue?

Safaa's giggles were infectious, and he found himself matching them with laughter of his own as she beat him repeatedly about the head with her fluffiest pillow. He was still laughing when he went to answer the door, but when he caught sight of Liam standing in the doorway he was shocked into silence. He followed Liam's gaze as he took in the feathers littering the living room before his eyes landed back on Zayn. Zayn hadn't meant for them to destroy so many pillows; Doniya would be horrified to see the state of the house when she got home from work. And he especially hadn't meant for Liam to see him like this.

He opened his mouth to speak, but Safaa beat him to it. "Hit him, Zayn! Get 'em with your pillow!"

Zayn looked down to see that he was still, in fact, holding the pillow. Liam was just standing there with his mouth hanging open, and Zayn couldn't help but want to wipe that dumb look off of his face. So he did. He grabbed a hold of the pillow with both hands and smacked Liam with it. Liam looked even dumber after he'd been hit, and Zayn noted with dismay that his hair still looked annoyingly perfect. So he hit him again, and again.

He heard Liam bark out a laugh as he pushed inside the apartment, the door closing behind him as he grabbed for Zayn's waist, putting Zayn on the defensive. Zayn yelped as Liam's cold hands made contact with his bare skin, and then he was scrambling away from him. He scooted towards the sofa where Safaa was jumping up and down, waiting for her turn. She got it, bopping Liam on the head with her pillow when Zayn pushed him onto the couch.

Liam grabbed both of Zayn's wrists, pulling him down on top of him. Safaa screamed with glee, both Liam and Zayn now close enough for her to swat. Zayn barely noticed the soft hits or the fresh feathers fluttering down around them, too focused on Liam. The dumbstruck look was gone from his face, wide brown eyes gone dark and narrow as his thumbs rubbed circles into the soft skin of Zayn's inner wrists, Zayn's thighs squeezing involuntarily where they were pressed to Liam's hips.

"Hit 'em, Zayn!" Safaa called again. "Hit Mr. Liam!"

Zayn cleared his throat as he pulled his wrists free easily, a little disappointed that Liam hadn't put up more of a fight. "It's not polite to hit guests, Saf, especially when they don't have a pillow to fight back with," he told her as he climbed off of Liam, holding his own pillow carefully in front of his white basketball shorts.

"Does that mean I win?" she asked as she hopped off of the sofa and went to stand next to Zayn.

"Sure does, sweets."

She smiled brightly, turning her attention to Liam. "Do you want to meet Bensamin? Bensamin!" Safaa shouted towards her and Waliyha's bedroom. "Come meet Mr. Liam!"

Liam stood up, smoothing feathers off of his shirt. "Who's Bensamin?" he asked Zayn.

Zayn took a step closer to ensure that Safaa couldn't hear them. " _Benjamin_ is our dog. Imaginary," he added in a whisper.

To Liam's credit he committed to it without blinking an eye, squatting down and patting his knees as Safaa introduced him to Benjamin, laughing as he pretended that the dog was licking his face.

"Quit slobbering on me, Benjamin," he said, petting the air in front of him.

"Bensamin's the one who wanted to have a pillow fight, but he got scared and ran away when he heard you coming," she told him solemnly.

Zayn sighed. _'Bensamin made me do it'_ was a phrase he heard at least once a day. He and Liam watched as Safaa led Benjamin to a very real water and food bowl she'd insisted that they leave in the kitchen for him at all times.

"Good lord, man, get her a real dog," Liam said quietly, nudging Zayn with his shoulder, their arms brushing.

"I wanted to, but pets aren't allowed in the building," he replied, ignoring the chill that went down his spine when Liam didn't move away.

"Well, she seems happy enough with Benjamin, I guess," Liam said with a sweet smile.

"Doniya's not here, you know," Zayn blurted out, suddenly remembering that Liam wasn't actually there to see him.

Liam seemed to be just remembering that as well, a sheepish expression on his face as he said, "I'm actually here to see Waliyha."

Zayn felt any goodwill he'd felt towards Liam a moment before vanish in an instant, his shoulders squaring. "The fuck you are," he swore hotly.

Liam's eyes went wide again. He took a step back from Zayn, but that goddamn smile was still playing at his lips, and Zayn could not fucking wait to wipe it off. Did this fucker really think Zayn was going to let him hit on all of his sisters?

"Yay, you came," Waliyha said with relief as she walked into the room, a notebook under her arm. She grabbed a hold of Liam's shirtsleeve, dragging him away from Zayn and towards the kitchen table.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Zayn demanded, following them and planting his hands on his hips.

Waliyha sighed deeply, like Zayn was the most annoying person in the world. "I have to interview a public servant for class and I asked Liam if he could do it at the game."

Zayn paused for a minute, his anger draining out of him as he decided this was a valid enough reason for them to be hanging out, leaving only annoyance in its wake. "You are aware that I, too, am a public servant, right?"

It was Liam who answered this time. "Yeah, but who would want to want to interview a cop when they could interview a fireman?" he asked with a wink in Zayn's direction.

"I can think of a few badge bunnies that wouldn't mind hearing what I have to say. I could probably make most hose honeys see the light too."

Waliyha cringed, a shudder running through her. But Zayn's words seemed to have the opposite effect on Liam, his cheeks turning pink as he shrugged out of his jacket.

"Is it a little warm in here, or is it just me?"

Zayn smirked, shooting Liam a knowing look before deciding to have mercy on him. "Thermostat's on the fritz. The super's supposed to come sometime this week."

"He never comes when he says he will," Safaa whined from the corner where she was pretending to brush Benjamin.

"I can take a look if you want?" Liam volunteered, standing up and heading towards the living room, Zayn following right behind him.

"You don't mind?" he asked.

"Not sure I really want to fix it, if it means you'll be wearing a shirt the next time I come over," Liam teased, his eyes trailing over Zayn's bare chest, lingering on the tattoos scattered across his collarbones.

"Please fix it, Liam," Waliyha called from the kitchen. "It's so gross to see Zayn walking around like that all the time. You're lucky he's got pants on this time."

"Yeah, so gross," Liam repeated, fixing his gaze lower, on the ink lining Zayn's hips. He leaned in to whisper in Zayn's ear, resting one hand on the wall next to Zayn's head and keeping his voice low to ensure that Waliyha couldn't hear them. "I'll take care of it. You see, I'm _really_ good with my hands, and it'd be a shame to not put them to good use for you."

Zayn felt himself flush, which was really fucking ridiculous, because Liam was obviously only joking around. "Um, yeah. Do that then. The thermostat, I mean. See if you can, uh, fix it," he stammered as he ducked under Liam's arm, calling for Safaa and Benjamin to follow him.

He left the room without looking back, needing to get away from Liam before he made an even bigger fool of himself, if that was even fucking possible at this point. By the time he'd put Safaa to bed and headed back into the living room he could tell that Liam had been able to fix the thermostat. He sat down on the couch, foregoing a t-shirt despite the rapidly cooling temperature in the room. He began to flip through the channels, wanting to keep an eye on Liam to make sure that he wasn't up to anything.

Funny thing was, Liam seemed to be keeping an eye on him as well. He'd chosen the seat at the kitchen table that faced the living room, and Zayn could see him sneaking peeks at him out of the corner of his eye. So he really couldn't be blamed for the way he moved his body, stretching his muscles before arranging himself in what he knew to be a flattering position.

He tried to focus on the newest episode of Project Runway, but by the time he'd made it halfway through he had to admit that he had no idea what was happening on the show, his attention drawn towards Liam again and again as he answered Waliyha's questions, waving his arms around as he regaled her with stories of his supposed heroics. He was so goddamn gesticulative, Zayn couldn't help but notice. It was annoying, really, and not at all endearing.

By the end of the episode Zayn was finally ready to give up on all pretense of still being hot, goosebumps evident on his skin as he strolled leisurely to the window directly behind Liam to close it. He noticed Liam following his movements, and the fact that he didn't seem to be able to look away from Zayn definitely didn't turn him on. Not at all.

"God Zayn, just put on a shirt already," Waliyha grumbled. "No one wants to see that."

"Yeah, Zayn," Liam agreed. "No one wants to see that."

Liam's tone told him that he wasn't being completely honest, and Zayn took that as his cue to leave, grabbing a shirt from the closet and pulling it on before settling back down on the sofa. Liam got up from the table a few minutes later, and Zayn wondered briefly if he was planning to hang out with Zayn for awhile, now that they were, you know. Friends or whatever.

Zayn wasn't sure why the thought of being alone with Liam in the living room after Waliyha went to bed made him so anxious, but it turned out not to matter when Liam headed straight for the door.

"Early day tomorrow?" Zayn found himself asking.

Liam smiled, pushing an arm into his leather jacket. "Just don't want to impose on you for too long."

"Yeah well, whatever. Maybe next time," he said, standing up and wiping his hands on his shorts. "And uh, thanks for helping Liyha. And for fixing the thermostat."

"See, being friends with me isn't so bad, now is it?" Liam asked, raising his eyebrows at Zayn before heading out the door, not waiting for Zayn to answer.

Zayn shut it firmly behind him, then headed to the closet to pull out his blankets. "Being friends with me isn't so bad," he mimicked as he made up the couch and lied down. Having Liam around tonight hadn't been the worst thing in the world, but as he remembered how strong Liam had felt underneath him on the sofa, and how tightly he'd held his wrists, unwelcome images of what might have happened had they been alone flitting through his mind, Zayn knew for sure that being friends with Liam was definitely a very, very bad thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come chat with me on [tumblr](http://cupcakes-x-cocaine.tumblr.com/)!


	7. Chapter 7

_**I got a feeling deep inside...** _

Liam texted Zayn the next day, and the day after that. By the third day he'd tried calling too, but Zayn sent it straight to voicemail. Every time Liam's name showed up on the screen of his cell he found himself wanting to answer so badly, which was exactly why he didn't let himself. His "friendship" with Liam had already gone further than he'd ever intended it to, which was exactly why he needed to put an end to it.

This decision was put to the test when he came home from work four days after he'd last seen Liam to find him in his living room. He was holding Safaa's skinny little arm up in the air, his lips pursed as he blew on the fake tattoos plastered from her wrist to her elbow.

Zayn felt his entire body heat, as memories of what he'd done the night before, on the very couch that Liam was now sitting in front of, while thinking of Liam - of his hands, his hips, his perfect fucking mouth - came rushing back to him.

Safaa smiled up at him as he closed the door. "Look Zayn, I look just like you now."

"Yeah, you do, babe. Where'd you get those?"

It was Liam who answered, standing up from his place on the floor to take a small step towards Zayn. "I brought them over; I hope that's okay. Don had to go into work early so she called and asked me if I could babysit...I hope that's okay too."

Zayn shrugged as he walked towards the closet, unclipping his duty belt and putting it on the top shelf, making sure that his gun was pushed to the very back. "I didn't realize Doniya had your number," he said tersely.

"Um, yeah? Is that a problem?"

Zayn blew out a breath before turning around. Of course it wasn't a problem. What the fuck did he care if Liam and Doniya talked ten times a day? "No, that's not what I meant. I just didn't realize she'd gotten called in early. I would have come home if I'd known."

"I'm happy to help," Liam said as he settled down on the sofa, Safaa in front of him. "I'd been wanting to bring Safaa her present for a few days anyway."

"Mr. Liam said he looooves tattoos," Safaa said, beckoning Zayn closer so that she could show them off. Zayn ooohed and ahhhed over them, his eyes darting to Liam's face just in time to see a faint blush coloring his cheeks.

"You can like, go home, if you want," Zayn mentioned offhandedly. "Since I'm here now."

"Noooo," Safaa whined. "He brought a game and said we couldn't play it without you."

Liam's face flushed even further as he leaned over the side of the sofa. He came back up with Twister in his hand, a playful smile on his face as he jiggled the box.

"Wanna play, Zayn?" he asked, a gleam in his eyes.

"Please?" Safaa pleaded with her hands clasped together in prayer, matching pouts on her and Liam's faces.

Zayn ran his hand down his face and groaned, knowing that this was probably a bad idea.

Three spins in, and Zayn knew for a fact that it was a bad idea. Liam was just as competitive at Twister as he was on the field. Like, stupidly so. And he also didn't seem to be able to keep his goddamn hands to himself.

Zayn had changed into sweats before they'd started playing, a decision he was regretting when Liam threw a leg over him in an attempt to reach the green circle farthest from him, despite the fact that several others were within easier reach. Zayn had already been struggling to keep from falling as he balanced on one hand and one foot, but with Liam now sprawled on top of him it was damn near impossible to stay upright. Their torsos were pressed together, and he could feel Liam's heart beating against his own as Liam moved even closer to whisper in his ear, his body dragging up Zayn's slowly.

"Want to make this game a little more interesting?"

Zayn licked his lips, his skin tingling as he heard the challenge in Liam's tone, but Safaa spoke before he got the chance to answer.

"You're taking up the whole board, Mr. Liam," she pouted as she tried to get her hand on a yellow circle just past Liam's left hand.

"Yeah Liam, get your fat ass outta the way," Zayn said lowly, rocking his hips up in an attempt to make Liam move. He saw the muscles in Liam's arms twitch as he strained to hold himself in place, pushing his own hips down against Zayn's hard enough to get Zayn's mind racing.

Liam hip checked Safaa during his next turn, sending her sprawling, and as she happily sat down to become the official spinner, Zayn decided that it was probably for the best. He was facing the board now, his legs twisted into a position he didn't think he could hold for long, but the real problem was Liam. He was pressed to Zayn's side, one of Zayn's thighs trapped between his legs, his face tucking into Zayn's neck as he reached underneath him for a green circle. Zayn could feel the entire length of Liam's body against his own, Liam's skin hot against his where his shirt had ridden up. And the noises he kept making, little gasps and groans whenever they touched, were driving Zayn fucking crazy.

"Come on, Zayn, what're you gonna give me when I win?" Liam whispered against the back of his neck, pushing against Zayn a little harder, just as Safaa called out, "Right foot blue, Zayn!"

Zayn craned his neck to search for an open blue circle, smiling when he spotted one just to the right of Liam's foot. He swiveled his arm as he flipped over, swiping Liam's foot out of the way as he planted his own on the blue dot. Liam lost his balance at once, falling onto Zayn with a huff, flattening him to the board.

"I win," Zayn smirked up at Liam, his hands moving to grip Liam's waist before he could stop himself, his fingers scratching the bare skin just under the hem of Liam's shirt.

Liam looked down at Zayn, making no effort to move off of him. "I dunno...kinda feels like I'm winning," he murmured, his hips pulsing down the tiniest bit, pinning Zayn to the floor.

"I win!" Safaa shouted, barreling into both of them and knocking them to the side. Zayn sat up quickly, crisscrossing his legs as he scooted away from Liam, willing his body to calm down.

Liam reached for Safaa's arm, holding it above her head as he cheered, "Safaa Malik, ultimate Twister champion!" Zayn clapped for her, scrunching his nose up when he saw how happy she was.

"I demand a rematch," he grumbled with a fake frown, extending an arm to tickle her waist.

"I'll still win!" she shouted, running away from him and into her bedroom. He reached for her backpack, pulling out a drawing that was peeking out of the open zipper. It was of the whole family, Zayn, Doniya, Waliyha and Safaa crowded together with Benjamin at their feet, and two figures hovering above them in the sky, and it made Zayn's heart hurt. A note from her teacher was tucked behind it, reminding Zayn that he needed to bake cookies for tomorrow's bake sale.

"Shit," he cursed under his breath, rising to his feet and heading to the kitchen.

Liam clambered in after him. "Everything okay?" he asked as Zayn hung Safaa's drawing on the refrigerator, securing it with a magnet from the club Doniya worked at.

"Yeah, I just have to figure out how to make three dozen cookies and put Saf to bed on time," he muttered.

Liam clasped a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently. "Go do what you have to do. I'll get the cookies started. It can be your reward for kinda, sorta beating me."

"You sure?" Zayn asked as he turned around.

"Go," Liam insisted, pushing him towards the door. Zayn gave Safaa a bath and read her a story as quickly as he could, more relieved than he should have been when Waliyha got home to take over. He shouldn't have been this eager to get back to Liam, but the sight of him when he walked into the kitchen made it all worth it.

He'd found an apron somewhere, one that was bright red and covered in giant white polka dots, and the sight of it wrapped around Liam's waist combined with the thin white henley he was wearing was more attractive than it had any right to be.

"How's it going?" Zayn asked, his eyes drifting to the bowl tucked into Liam's side.

"These cookies will be the best you've ever had, mark my words," Liam assured him as he continued to stir the batter. "Just point me in the direction of the chocolate chips and my work here will be done."

"There should be some up here," Zayn said, walking to the cabinet above the fridge. The bag was clearly visible when he opened it, but even on his tippy toes he couldn't quite reach it.

"Need some help?" Liam murmured, pushing Zayn into the fridge as he pressed in behind him, lifting an arm. His fingers brushed Zayn's as he clasped the bag, sending a tingle through Zayn as he handed it to him.

Zayn turned around slowly, his breath coming out fast and hard as his body skimmed against Liam's, their chests, stomachs, hips and thighs all touching as Zayn settled back against the fridge.

Liam looked down at him, his lips parted, the bag of chocolate chips crinkling between them in the quiet room.

"Thanks," Liam said, raising an eyebrow as he ran a flour covered finger down Zayn's nose. Zayn lifted a hand to wipe it off, but Liam grabbed his wrist and pressed it to the freezer behind Zayn's head, stilling him. "Keep it," he ordered. "Looks good on you."

Zayn pulled his wrist out of Liam's grasp slowly, watching Liam as he did so. He walked to the bag of flour that Liam had left on the counter, dipping his hand inside before moving back to Liam's side.

"Looks better on you," he insisted, slapping a hand to Liam's chest. He barely noticed Liam flexing beneath his palm, ignoring how strong Liam felt, or how hard his heart was beating, or the way his nipple perked up, forming a tight little bud under his fingertips.

Liam let out a breathless laugh, grabbing Zayn's waist and bringing him closer. Zayn's hands flew to Liam's neck, coating it in white as he struggled to remain on his feet.

"Know what would look even better on me?" Liam asked, his fingertips digging into the small of Zayn's back. "You."

Zayn's heart stuttered, but he pushed his way out of Liam's grasp, backing as far away as the tiny kitchen would allow. "Very funny," he said, not feeling like anything was very funny at all.

Liam sighed, hopping up onto the counter closest to the stove and pouring the chocolate chips into the bowl of dough.

Zayn moved closer, his steps slower than they should have been. His t-shirt was loose around his neck, practically hanging off of his shoulder as he reached around to Liam to preheat the oven. Liam ducked his head, his forehead resting against Zayn's collarbone as Zayn punched in the numbers, and if Zayn took a little longer than necessary to enter the information, well, who could really blame him? But he retreated to the other side of the room eventually, watching from a distance as Liam turned his attention back to the batter.

Minutes passed without Zayn noticing anything but the way Liam's muscles flexed as he stirred in the chocolate chips, and the way he nibbled at his lower lip as he spooned the dough onto a baking sheet in neat rows, and how good he looked in Zayn's kitchen. And then the dough was mixed, the oven preheated, but Zayn still hadn't made a move to actually bake the cookies. He didn't even know how he'd ended up standing in front of Liam, his hands resting on Liam's knees where he was sitting on the counter. He swore he'd been all the way across the room only moments before.

"Stop that," he ordered, swatting Liam's hand away from the bowl. "We need it all for the bake sale."

Liam raised his eyebrows in challenge as his hand dipped back into the bowl, scooping a glob of dough onto his finger and bringing it up to his lips. He opened his mouth slowly, as if to dare Zayn to try to stop him. But Zayn couldn't stop him. Couldn't do anything but stare as Liam sucked his finger into his mouth in the most perfect, seductive way imaginable.

"It's too good to resist," Liam murmured, and Zayn knew the feeling. He'd become intimately familiar with it over the past few weeks, not that he'd ever admit that to anyone. And it was all Liam's fault.

Liam moaned around his finger, dragging it out of his mouth slowly, making Zayn think of things that he really didn't want to be thinking about. He shuffled from one foot to the other, trying to focus on anything other than how close he was standing to Liam, and how far apart Liam's legs were spread, like they were waiting for him to fit between them. And he definitely didn't want to think about how fucking pink Liam's lips were, or whether they'd taste sweet if Zayn were to lean in and kiss him, like chocolate.

Zayn was royally fucked, and he knew it. This was why he'd ignored all of Liam's texts and calls, and why he'd avoided seeing him again. He still wasn't sure if he liked Liam - he was a pain in the ass, after all - but he couldn't deny that he wanted him anymore. The way his hand had been driven under the covers every time he'd thought of Liam while in bed over the past few days had been proof enough of that, but this...this was different. The urge to kiss him in that moment was almost overwhelming. Zayn needed to feel how soft Liam's lips were, and to taste the sugar still on his tongue. He wanted to cover Liam's body with flour, so that he could see his fingerprints against his skin wherever he touched him.

He'd known that things with Clark had been winding down for a while, but having someone new in front of him, someone that he wanted so badly that he could barely stand it, drove it all home for him. Made it all real.

"I think you've had enough, for tonight," he said quietly, pulling the bowl away from Liam. Zayn had had enough too. Enough teasing, enough flirting, enough of Liam always being around, yet never close enough.

Liam raised his eyebrows again, his eyes rounding as his mouth formed a perfect circle, his bright lips puckering, just begging to be kissed. Zayn leaned forward, wanting to kiss him more than he'd ever wanted anything. He tilted his head a bit to the side, slowly closing the distance between them, his hands sliding up to rest on Liam's thighs, their faces only centimeters apart, close enough to feel the rush of breath that Liam let out.

And then his phone buzzed in his back pocket, snapping him back to reality. He pulled it out automatically, all of his attention still focused on the man in front of him.

_Clark._

"It's awfully late for a phone call. Who is it?" Liam asked, his eyes lit up with curiosity.

Zayn swallowed as he sent the call to voicemail, forcing himself to take a step back from Liam when all he really wanted to do was lean in, farther and farther, until there was no space left between them. "You're right, it is late. I think you should go."

"Zayn, I-"

"I'm sorry, it's..." he sighed, retreating to the opposite end of the kitchen once again. "I have to work tomorrow, and these cookies aren't going to bake themselves."

"I could...I could help," Liam offered hopefully.

Zayn shook his head. "Don't worry about it. I'm used to doing shit like this on my own," he insisted, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Liam hopped off of the counter, closing the distance between them in two strides. He lifted a hand, gently wiping the flour off of Zayn's face. "Goodnight then, Zayn," he said softly, his thumb brushing along Zayn's lower lip.

Zayn sounded far more breathless than he should have when he responded, his voice low. "Goodnight, Liam."

***

Zayn was exhausted when he woke up the next morning, and he couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was about to happen all day. His dreams had been plagued with visions of Liam, and Clark, and he'd slept like shit. He felt totally off his game, barely able to focus on work. Lack of sleep and a restless mind made him slow. Made him stupid.

He hadn't sensed anything out of the ordinary when they'd gotten the call, arriving just in time to pull the man off of his crying wife. Zayn hauled him into the front yard, knowing that most of these scumbags were too chickenshit to fight with someone their own size. But this guy was different, something he might have noticed if he'd been paying any attention.

He didn't even see the man reach for his gun, but he felt the cold burst of fear that shot through him when the pistol was pointed in his direction, and he saw the spark of light and heard the crack of the gunshot when the trigger was pulled. He went for his own gun, but it was too late. His last thoughts before the bullet made contact were of his sisters, and surprisingly, of Liam, his face the last thing Zayn saw before he collapsed in blinding pain, his world going black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ummm, don't kill me???


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics included in this chapter are from Feel It by Jacquees. You can listen to it [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-lG_wafgiA).

_**It's taking, it's taking all I got, yeah...** _

Zayn's chest hurt like a bitch as he sat on the steps leading to the back of the ambulance, watching as the crime scene techs took the vest that had saved his life into evidence. His uniform was unbuttoned, revealing the giant bruise that was forming just above his heart. He shivered as he looked down at it, not just from the chilly December air but also from how close he'd come to-

He shook his head. No fucking way was he going to sit there feeling sorry for himself. He focused on the scene surrounding him instead, a small sound of surprise bubbling out of him when he spotted Liam getting out of his annoyingly expensive car.

Liam ran between the cops and reporters milling about, searching frantically for something. His eyes went wide as they landed Zayn, the look of relief washing over his face apparent even from several yards away. He bounded towards Zayn like a giant fucking puppy dog, crashing excitedly into him and pulling him into a tight hug.

"Ow," Zayn groaned, and then immediately regretted it when Liam jumped away from him.

"Shit, sorry! God, Zayn, you have no idea how happy I am to see you. I heard Niall's distress call over the scanner, and I just...," He stopped himself from saying anything more, letting out a deep breath as he gathered Zayn into his arms again, more gently this time. "Don't ever scare me like that again."

Zayn smiled a little, his pain seeming to recede a bit when he was wrapped up in Liam's warm embrace. "I'm sorry, I...I won't. I'm okay," he assured him, patting his back awkwardly.

Liam pulled back, his eyes raking over Zayn's entire body like he needed to be sure that he really was okay. He lifted a hand to his bruise, softly skimming his fingers over the tender skin as his mouth formed a tight line. "I'll fucking kill him," he swore, dropping his hand and looking around. 

"Alright, big fella. Calm down."

"Where is he, Zayn?" he demanded, his face and voice both thunderous.

"I shot the motherfucker," Zayn yelled, raising his voice so that he could be just as loud and ridiculous as Liam.

A smile tugged at the corner of Liam's frown. "You did?" he asked, his smile getting bigger when Zayn nodded. "Is he dead?"

"No, he's not dead," Zayn laughed. "I got him in the shoulder, and Niall tackled him."

Liam nodded knowingly. "I figured someone who looks like you had to be a terrible shot."

Zayn rolled his eyes. "Sorry I was too busy, you know, _being shot_  to aim properly. I could kick your ass at the shooting range any day. Blindfolded," he tacked on at the end, just to get his point across.

Liam sat down next to him, throwing an arm over his shoulder and leaning into him. "That sounds a lot like a challenge, and you know I never turn down a challenge. _Especially_  one that involves you being blindfolded."

"Fuck off," Zayn nudged him away with his shoulder, making sure that he didn't push him hard enough to actually make him move. Not because he liked the way Liam's arm felt wrapped around him, but because it was really cold out, and Liam was really fucking warm. A space heater would have done the job just as well, but Zayn didn't see any laying around, so Liam was just going to have to do.

"Listen. I'm taking you out this weekend, no arguments. We're gonna get shitfaced and celebrate you still being alive."

"I dunno if that's a good idea, Li-," he started. 

"Hey, what did I say?" Liam asked, pressing a finger to Zayn's lips to cut him off. "No arguments. I've been meaning to go to the club Don works at anyway, and I think she's scheduled for Friday night, right?"

"She is," Zayn admitted, trying not to think about how many dark corners there'd be at the club for him to push Liam into, so that he could-

"Perfect! It's a date then," Liam declared, sending a flutter of excitement through Zayn at the word _date_. "Niall and Harry and whoever else you want to invite can come too."

So, not a date then. Which was totally fine with Zayn, it really was. Better than fine. The only way he'd want it, honestly.

Liam ran his hand up and down Zayn's back a few times before standing up. "I'm gonna call Don and let her know you're alright, and I'll see you Friday. Try not to put yourself in any life threatening situations before then, okay?"

"Okay, Dad," Zayn grumbled, though he was secretly pleased at how worried Liam seemed to be.

"Good boy," Liam praised him, and god fucking dammit why did Zayn like the sound of that? He ran a hand through his hair as Liam walked away, reminding himself that immediately following a trauma was not a good time to develop a new kink.

Fucking Liam.

***

By the time Friday night rolled around Zayn couldn't fucking wait to get out of the house. It'd been nice being on leave from work for the first day or two, especially with his sisters fawning over him, but Liam'd had to switch his shifts around in order to be able to go out tonight, meaning that they hadn't been able to hang out all week. Not that Zayn missed him or anything. He was just sick of being surrounded by women.

Women who were surrounding him at that very moment, all of them weighing in with their opinions on what he should wear. He ignored them all, having already decided on the black v-neck sweater that showed off his tattoos, and the upper edge of his bruise, which he figured made him look even tougher than normal. He grabbed a few rings from the box he kept shoved under the coffee table and sat back, pretty fucking confident that he looked downright irresistible. Not that he was planning to seduce anyone or anything. He just had a reputation to uphold.

He eyed Doniya, who was already dressed in the skimpy black dress her boss claimed was a uniform, a question occurring to him. "So Don, do you like, like anyone at the moment?"

She paused where she was flipping through Safaa's workbook to glance up at him. "Is this about Liam?" she asked with a sigh.

"Of course it's about Liam," Waliyha cut in. "Zayn talks about him constantly."

Zayn glared at her, unable to believe what he was hearing. "I do not," he scoffed.

"Oh, come off it, Zayn. Yesterday I mentioned that Calum's parents might get him a car for his birthday, and you were all like 'Liam's got a car, blah blah blah.'" 

"Well, you were talking about cars and Liam does have a car so...I'm failing to see your point."

"My point is that you like him. Like, _like_ him like him. Otherwise you wouldn't bring him up all the time, and you wouldn't have just spent an hour fixing your hair," Waliyha pointed out.

"It took me that long to fix it because _someone_  used all of my gel and didn't tell me," he reminded her. "And anyways, none of that means anything."  

"Okay, Zayn, keeping telling yourself that," she murmured dismissively.

"I like Mr. Liam," Safaa said as she climbed up onto the sofa to sit next to Zayn. "And he likes me best."

"I dunno, Saf, I think he might like me best," he told her gently, because it wasn't right for someone to go around spreading lies, no matter how young they were.

"Unh unh," she insisted, getting up on her knees so that she could glare at Zayn. "I'm his favorite." 

He groaned, turning his attention back to Doniya before he got into an argument with a five year old over who Liam liked the most (it was obviously him though, he was almost positive). "So, are you going to answer the question, or..."

"Fine," she groaned. "I don't like Liam like that, and it wouldn't matter even if I did. Pretty sure I'm not his type," she said pointedly, and yeah, Zayn definitely didn't have to bite back a smile at that.

"Well, I was asking about Niall anyway," he said nonchalantly.

"Sure you were. And I can like Niall all I want, but that doesn't mean that it isn't a terrible idea for me to date another one of your cop buddies."

Zayn stayed silent, knowing that he couldn't argue with that, not after what had happened with Louis.

"Have you told him about Clark?" Doniya asked.

"Who, Liam?" he asked, earning an eye roll from her, like she couldn't have been talking about any number of people. "No, why would I? I'm barely friends with him; he doesn't need to know every detail of my romantic history."

"If it was actually history, then I'd agree with you, but we both know it's not. I think you should tell him about h-"

"I got shot like three point five seconds ago," Zayn whined, tossing his hands up in the air. "Can we please not talk about this right now?"

Doniya let the subject drop, but Zayn's mood had already soured. Waliyha pushed them out the door a few minutes later, reassuring them repeatedly that she was happy to watch Safaa if it meant that Zayn could have some fun.

"She's totally got a boy coming over, doesn't she?" Zayn asked as they headed for the stairs.

"For sure," Doniya agreed with a grimace.

They walked to the subway in companionable silence, having agreed to meet everyone else at the club. Niall was waiting for him at the bar as he stepped inside, drumming his fingers against his glass and looking bored, and Zayn gave Doniya a quick kiss on the cheek as she headed to the back room to clock in before joining him.

"You the first one here?"

"Nah. Your boyfriend's already tearing it up on the dance floor," he said, inclining his head towards the main section of the club. He turned to follow his gaze and spotted Liam right away. It was already getting crowded, but Liam must have gotten there early to secure a spot for himself. He was putting it to good use as he moved to the music, the slow grind of his hips making Zayn's mouth water.

"Asshole," he muttered, forcing himself to turn away. Niall pushed a drink in front of him and he took it gratefully, needing something to numb the filthy thoughts racing through his head.

"I thought you two were getting along better?"

"He's a fucking Disney prince come to life, Niall. It's awful."

"A prince doesn't sound all that bad, and it was nice of him to set this night up, you gotta admit that," Niall urged.

Zayn shrugged, not willing to admit anything. Niall looked back at Liam, pursing his lips like he was considering something. "I think I might ask him out."

"The fuck you will," was Zayn's immediate response, his brain to mouth filter suddenly failing him.

"Ha, I knew it! I fucking knew it!" Niall shouted, pointing at him happily. "You like him."

"Screw you, I do not," Zayn grumbled. "I just don't want my best friend going out with a complete twat."

"So you're not friends with him?"

"I don't know what the fuck we are," Zayn replied without thinking. Niall shot him a look, like he could read Zayn's mind and knew just how much time he spent thinking about what he and Liam were, and what they weren't. Zayn changed the subject quickly, before Niall could say anything else Liam-related. "Besides, we both know you'd go for me if you ever decided to swing that way."

"It's dem eyelashes, they do something to me," Niall agreed, stepping closer so that he could nose at Zayn's cheek. Zayn pushed him away with a laugh, turning around and raising his empty glass in Doniya's direction. "Hi Doniya," Niall cooed as she headed their way, propping his elbows on the bar as he leaned closer so that he didn't have to shout over the music. "You're looking as lovely as ever."

Zayn rolled his eyes, turning around and resting his arms back on the bar as he scanned the club, his eyes coming to rest on Liam after a cursory glance around the rest of the space. He was still dancing, his eyes closed as his hips moved in tandem with the steady thrum of the bass. He looked more like he was fucking the air than actually dancing, and Zayn felt his fingers tighten on his glass as he brought it to his cheek, needing to cool down.

"Quite the show off, isn't he?" a gravelly voice murmured, startling Zayn. He turned to the side to see Harry, his hair hanging loose around his shoulders, his shirt unbuttoned enough for Zayn to see the top of a tattoo on his stomach.

"Sorry?" he asked, since he apparently wasn't capable of listening while Liam was moving his body that way.

"Liam," Harry said, inclining his head towards him with a sly smile. "He dances every chance he gets. You should see him in the shower at work," he added, and no, just no. Liam naked and wet and moving his hips like was now? Zayn definitely did not need to see that.

"He- he dances like that in the shower? In front of you all?" Zayn managed to get out. He was only asking to make conversation, not because he needed more details so that he could picture it better. 

Harry nodded, his eyes bright even in the dim lighting. "Sings too. Anything to get attention, really. Bastard was, let's say blessed in certain areas, and I think he likes to make sure everyone notices," he told him, his emphasis on the word _certain_ telling Zayn exactly where Liam had been blessed, and fuck Zayn really did not need to be thinking of that right now, not with the alcohol starting to flow through him, muting his resolve and strengthening his impulses. Because right now his impulse was to drag Liam out of the club and into an alleyway so that he could see up close and personal exactly what Harry was talking about.

Harry appeared to be waiting for a response, but Zayn couldn't say anything, since he seemed to have swallowed his tongue. He downed the rest of his drink in two gulps, welcoming the burn of the liquor sliding down his throat as he looked at the dance floor once again, just in time to see two girls start to dance on either side of Liam, their hands on his chest and back and-

"Liam!" he yelled before he could stop himself. Liam's head popped up, a smile transforming his features as he spotted Zayn and stepped out from in between the girls. Zayn waved him over, a thrill of pleasure shooting through him as he watched how easily Liam left them, not bothering to look back even once, his focus entirely on Zayn.

"You just dance your little heart out, don't you, Payno?" Harry greeted him, his dimples getting deeper as Liam came to stand in front of them. 

"Fuck off, Styles," Liam said with an easy smile before opening his arms so that Zayn could walk into them. Zayn made a face, because really? But he still took a small step forward, letting Liam envelop him in a big hug. "I'm so glad you're here. Everything okay?" he asked as he pulled back to look at Zayn. "You sounded pissed when you yelled for me."

"Everything's fine," Zayn insisted, his voice tight as he tried not to look at the front of Liam's jeans and failed miserably, Harry's revelation still fresh in his mind. "I just, uh. Just thought you were here to celebrate me being alive, and not to try to hook up with some random girls," he said, trying not to cringe when he heard how jealous he sounded. "Not that I give a fuck who you hook up with," he added quickly.

"Good to know," Liam laughed, stepping in between Zayn and Harry so that he could lean against the bar. "Let's get you another drink. Doniya, perfect timing. Some shots for my boy, please," he said, cupping a hand over the back of Zayn's neck, his pinkie finger sneaking underneath Zayn's sweater and sending chills down his spine.

"You trying to get me drunk?" Zayn asked, narrowing his eyes as Doniya lined up the shots in front of them.

Liam angled his body to the side, sliding a leg in between Zayn's. Zayn swallowed, a slow heat humming under his skin. The bar was starting to get crowded, sure, but there was no need for Liam to be this close, his thigh pressed to Zayn's front as his fingers danced across his back to settle on his hip, squeezing him gently to pull him even closer.

"How else am I supposed to take advantage of you?" he asked, low enough that no one else could hear him as he lifted the glass to his lips, his tongue darting out to lick at the sugar lining the rim, his eyes never leaving Zayn's. "To Zayn."

Zayn brought his shot glass up to clink against Liam's. "To me," he agreed, wondering why the sound of his name in Liam's mouth made him want to drop to his knees, just so he could make him say it again and again.

Liam straightened as a new song started playing, his whole face lighting up. "Come dance with me," he demanded, reaching for Zayn's hand as soon as he set his empty glass down.

Zayn shook his head, because the last thing he needed was to see the way Liam could move his body up close. It'd been painful enough from a safe distance. "You were doing a good job of looking like an idiot all by yourself."

"I think we'd look pretty good out there together," Liam pouted, cocking his head to the side and pushing his lower lip out.

"I'd bring your average up, that's for sure," Zayn said mildly.

Liam grinned, and Zayn had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from doing the same. "I'm not gonna argue with you, because a, that's definitely true, and b, you just got shot. But I'm also not taking no for an answer," he told him as he started backing up, grabbing a hold of Zayn's belt and pulling him with him. Zayn's hands went to Liam's biceps to steady himself, and then Liam was leading him to the far end of the crowded dance floor, his hands sliding around to rest on the swell of Zayn's ass, their noses only inches apart as his mouth quirked up in a half smile.

 _He's just a friend_ , Zayn reminded himself as they began to dance. Only the way Liam spun him around so that he could press against his back, and the proprietary hand he put on Zayn's abs, didn't feel very friendly. Neither did the hard length of Liam's body grinding into him, or the tickle of his breath at the nape of Zayn's neck.

Zayn closed his eyes. Arousal seeped into him slowly, like smoke, until all he could think about was Liam, and all of the things he wanted to do to him, none of which were things you were supposed to want to do with someone who was just a friend. But it was hard to care about that with Liam whispering into his ear, his words hot enough to make Zayn think that he and Liam might have very different definitions of the word _friend_.

"I requested this song just for us," he murmured, his breath warm against Zayn's skin as he started to sing. " _Tell me why you wanna be bad...why you callin' me daddy..._ "

Zayn groaned as Liam slid a hand down Zayn's body, his fingers splaying out on the top of Zayn's thigh, his thumb tickling along the juncture where hip met leg. Zayn pushed back against him, wanting to be impossibly closer as he let Liam take complete control.

" _Giving you the best you ever had, babe...make me feel like you ain't ever had it_ ," Liam sang softly as he rolled his hips to the beat, his expert movements and sinful words making Zayn's head spin with possibilities. " _Baby, tell me do you want it deeper...I'm gon' make you feel it..._ "

Lust curled around him as Liam pushed his hips into Zayn a little harder, leaving no doubt that Liam wanted Zayn just as badly as Zayn wanted him. He could feel Liam's lips at the shell of his ear as his words flowed through him, lighting him on fire as he tried and failed to think of one good reason why he shouldn't turn around and kiss him right then and there.

" _It's going down, turn around_ ," Liam sang, his words an echo of Zayn's thoughts as Liam stepped back just enough to spin Zayn around, one of his hands smoothing up Zayn's side and across his chest, his fingers trailing along the neckline of Zayn's sweater. 

" _Tell me, do you wanna be bad, babe..._ " he continued as he curled his fingers in, tugging Zayn's shirt lower to expose the bruise from when he'd been shot, it's deep purple stark against Zayn's skin when the lights flashed upon them.

Zayn's breath hitched as Liam leaned in, his lips parting automatically as Liam inched closer. But at the last second Liam turned his head, bending down farther, his mouth finding the bruise instead. He kissed it gently as Zayn's heart attempted to beat its way out of his chest. He was sure that Liam could feel it too, the evidence right under his lips.

He moved his hands into Liam's hair, tugging on it involuntarily as Liam wrapped his arms around Zayn's back and moved up his body, his lips searching for any bare skin they could find, kissing his way up the column of Zayn's throat and along his jaw until his mouth was hovering just over Zayn's, his breath coming out just as fast and hard as Zayn's was.

Liam leaned in, just a fraction and not nearly enough, his lips just barely grazing Zayn's as he spoke. 

"My place?" he asked, his voice thick with desire.

Zayn knew that he should say no, but he couldn't bring himself to, not when Liam was right in front of him, wanting _him_. He'd almost died this week, and he would have been hella fucking pissed if he'd done so without ever kissing Liam. So he nodded, his hands sliding down Liam's back as his hips pulsed forward, needing friction. 

"Your place," he agreed.


	9. Chapter 9

**_'Cause nobody knows you, baby, the way I do..._ **

The cold night air hit Zayn like a slap as they stepped out of the club, his thin sweater doing little to ward off the biting wind as he pulled a gray beanie out of his back pocket and tugged it down far enough to cover his ears.

"Where's your coat?" Liam asked, his brow crinkling in concern.

"I didn't have one that went with this outfit," he admitted sheepishly.

Liam barked out a harsh laugh, but the look he gave Zayn was soft. "I admire that you're willing to suffer for fashion, but here, you can wear mine." 

Zayn went to protest, but Liam was already shrugging out of his leather jacket and wrapping it around Zayn's shoulders. It was a bit big on him, the cuffs grazing his fingertips, but it was warm and smelled like Liam, so Zayn wasn't going to complain too much. "But now you'll be cold," he worried, even though he had no intention of giving the jacket back now that he had it.

Liam smiled, raising his eyebrows suggestively. "You can keep me warm. Come on, hop up," he coaxed, condensation billowing out with his words as he squatted down so that Zayn could jump onto his back. Zayn made a face, letting Liam know just how stupid this idea was. "You know you want to."

Zayn didn't want to, because this was the type of shit boyfriends did, and Liam was most definitely not his boyfriend. But he'd given Zayn his jacket, and Zayn figured that he shouldn't put up too much of a fight. He climbed onto his back, groaning as he wrapped his arms around Liam's neck and his legs around his waist, hooking his feet over one another to stay in place as Liam began to walk, jostling him back and forth. 

"Happy?" he asked, his tone dripping with annoyance even though it was kind of nice to not have to walk, his shoes chosen more for appearance than utility.

"Very," Liam said, and Zayn could tell that he was smiling even without looking at him. He turned his head to the side to bury his face in Liam's neck, chuckling as his cold nose made Liam shiver.

"We should dress up together next year, for Halloween," Liam started excitedly as they walked past the movie theater that was a block down from the club, Chris Evans' face staring out at them. "I can be Captain America and you can be the Winter Soldier."

Zayn let out an affronted scoff. "I'd make a much better Cap than you. Maybe you can be the Falcon. _Maybe_."

"Well, the Falcon's awesome and so am I, so that could work," Liam agreed happily, and Zayn really wished he'd shut the fuck up. He didn't want to be talking about comics or costumes, or making plans for the future, not when they were on their way to do what they were about to do. He wanted things to go back to how they'd been on the dance floor, where it'd been too loud to talk and too dark to see anything but Liam, and where they'd had to touch each other because they couldn't stand not to. But out here, with the street lamps lighting their way and the hum of traffic too quiet to provide much of a distraction, there was too much time for Zayn to think about what was happening, and what it meant.

Focusing on staying warm and holding on had tamped down his arousal, so Zayn made himself concentrate on the firm grip of Liam's hands on the back of his thighs, and the way the muscles in his back shifted against Zayn with every step he took. He squeezed his thighs a little tighter around Liam's trim waist, flexing his muscles so that he could push against Liam's back, and had to bite back a moan when Liam tightened his grip, urging him to do it again. He did, rocking his hips up and rubbing against Liam just right as his blood started flowing again. 

Zayn closed his eyes, smiling for the first time since they'd left the club.  _This_. This was what he needed to be thinking about; how much they wanted each other, and how good they were going to make each other feel. He didn't want to think about the fact that Liam still thought they'd be hanging out next year, or to remember the disapproving look Doniya had given him when he'd told her where they were going. He needed this one night with Liam, just one night where he could touch him and kiss him and fuck him, without worrying about what it meant or who would be hurt if they found out. Because fuck, Zayn wanted to kiss him, and to fuck him, the need to touch him in every way possible verging on desperate. 

But then Liam was setting him down on the sidewalk at the start of his street, and looking at Zayn like _he_ was the desperate one. "I better save some energy for later," he whispered, and yeah, Zayn liked the sound of that. He shoved his hands in his pockets as they began to walk, not wanting Liam to get any dumb ideas about holding his hand like they were going steady or some shit. He smirked as Liam set a quick pace, knowing that he was just as eager to pick up where they'd left off in the club as he was. 

"Almost there," Liam murmured when his house came into view. Zayn nodded, trying to look like this was the first time he was seeing where Liam lived as they neared the gate, because of fucking course Liam would live in a house with a white picket fence. Liam walked through it first, a smile spreading slowly across his face as he looked back at Zayn, one Zayn matched with a smile of his own when Liam stretched an arm out to grab his waist. Zayn didn't let him, twisting just out of reach and running up the porch steps to the front door.

"Where are you going?" Liam hissed after him.

Zayn turned around to face him, arching an eyebrow. "Did you want to do this in the yard?"

Liam jumped up onto the porch, sliding his hands under Zayn's sweater and holding him tight to his body as his lips found Zayn's ear. "If I wanted to fuck you in the yard, I'd fuck you in the yard. And you'd like it."

Zayn could no longer feel the cold as white hot lust burned through him. "Cocky much?" he asked, placing his palms flat on Liam's chest and leaning back so that he could look up at him.

"Very," he assured him with a smirk that made Zayn's skin tingle. Liam took a step back, clasping his fingers with Zayn's as he pulled him down the steps and around the side of the house, towards a detached garage at the back of the property. Zayn let him lead him, ignoring how perfectly their hands fit together, and how his heart seemed to beat a little harder when Liam's thumb rubbed over the back of his hand. And he definitely didn't miss the warmth of his palm when Liam let go of him as they reached the door to the garage, digging in his pocket for his keys.

"Are you planning on banging me on the hood of your car? 'Cause I might not totally hate that idea," Zayn murmured from behind him, pushing his hands under Liam's shirt and trailing them up and down his sides while he fumbled with the lock.

"I knew you liked my car deep down," Liam laughed as he pushed the door open and stepped inside. He flicked on the lights, revealing two sedans and a staircase. "I live just up here," he said, heading towards the steps.

Zayn's eyebrows crunched together in confusion. "Do you have a wife and kids stashed away in the main house?" he asked as he followed Liam into a small apartment at the top of the stairs.

Liam reached behind him to swing the door shut, strong hands gripping Zayn's hips to push him back against it. "Well, a wife does live there, and some kids, but there's also a husband, who is most definitely not me. I just rent this space from them," he murmured offhandedly, sliding his jacket off of Zayn and dropping it to the floor.

Zayn stood on his toes, wanting to get a good look at the place Liam called home. The living room was small but neat, a framed poster from _The Dark Knight Rises_  hanging over a couch that wasn't that much nicer than Zayn's. "I never imagined you in a place like this."

"Yeah? And do you imagine me a lot, Zayn?" Liam smirked, closing the distance between them, his fingers skimming along Zayn's jaw, bringing his attention back to him. "Ever imagine me doing this?" he asked, running a hand through Zayn's hair and tugging hard, forcing Zayn's head to the side so that he could kiss the exposed skin of his throat.

"Shit," Zayn moaned as Liam rolled his body, rocking his hips into Zayn's. "Shit, that's good. That's so... _good_ ," he groaned, trying to focus his thoughts enough to form a coherent sentence, an unwelcome realization nagging at the back of his mind. "But - yeah, right there, fuck - your car, it probably costs more than like, a year's rent in a place like this."

Liam moved his hands to Zayn's ass and squeezed, lifting him easily. Zayn wrapped his arms around Liam's shoulders and his legs around his back, moaning as Liam pushed him back against the door, holding Zayn's body still as he rocked his hips against him. Zayn's eyes fluttered shut, Liam's length pressing against his own igniting a pleasure in him that he hadn't known was possible. Everything felt so fucking good, the coarse drag of Liam's stubble across his skin making his lips seem even softer in comparison, the callouses on his palm as he slid it under Zayn's sweater to pinch his nipple feeling better than he'd ever imagined.

And he was so hard, fuck, his hips rolling slowly against Zayn's, his movements insistent but not nearly enough for Zayn. He dug his heels into Liam's ass as he rutted against him, urging him to move faster and harder.

Liam did the opposite, his hips stilling as he backed them away from the door, one hand gripping Zayn's thigh as the other went around to his back, holding him close. He walked them farther into the apartment as he began to speak, continuing to kiss his neck as he answered a question Zayn could barely remember asking, his lips never fully leaving Zayn's skin. "My car? It was a gift from my parents, back when we...I'm giving it back as soon as I've got enough saved to buy a new one. Why are we even talking about this?" he groaned, just as he tripped over a box on the ground, both of them tumbling to the floor.

Zayn landed on his back with a thud, Liam falling on top of him with a breathless laugh. He sat up to straddle Zayn's hips as he pushed the box that'd taken them down out of the way. Zayn tilted his head to the side to look at it, his eyes drawn to the bright blue bow stuck to it. It was one of those giant boxes of crayons, the ones that had every color under the sun. He looked up at Liam with a frown, awareness threatening to overtake him.

"They're for Safaa. She mentioned a few weeks ago that most of her crayons were broken, and that drawing you put on the fridge was really good, and then I saw these the other day and I thought...I just couldn't resist getting them for her," Liam admitted with a shy smile, and yep, there it was. Fuck fuck fuck Zayn did not want to be learning new shit about Liam, like how he wasn't actually rich but still bought presents for Zayn's kid sister like that wasn't a ridiculously sweet and annoyingly thoughtful thing to do. He didn't want to get to know Liam better, not when every fact revealed just forced Zayn to like him more and more. That was the last fucking thing he wanted.

"You're not an asshole at all, are you?" he muttered dejectedly.  

"Um, thanks?" Liam laughed. He bent forward cautiously, slowly eliminating the space between them, and Zayn really wished he would stop looking at him like that. Like he didn't just want to fuck him but actually _liked_ him, his eyes fond when they should have been dark, his touch soft when it should have been firm. This was just supposed to be about sex. That's all it could be about, but with Liam looking at him like that...it was fucking with his head, and his heart, and he hated it.

Liam's forearms came to rest on the floor on either side of Zayn's head, his face hovering just above Zayn's, and Zayn felt his breath catch in his throat as Liam's gaze flitted to his lips. He licked them slowly, liking the way Liam's eyes followed the motion. Liam settled more of his weight on Zayn, inching closer at an infuriatingly slow pace, like kissing wasn't something they needed to be doing right that fucking second. But Zayn could feel the rapid beat of Liam's heart in his chest, its pace matching his own and betraying Liam's calm exterior.

The air between them seemed to crackle, pinpricks of heat racing down his spine as Liam looked at him. He reached between them, gripping the front of Liam's shirt to tug him closer. He couldn't wait any longer. Not with his mind still clouded with thoughts of what it would be like to date Liam; to call him his boyfriend and hold his hand and cuddle with him on the couch, when all he wanted to be thinking about was making him moan and tasting him on his tongue. 

He didn't give Liam the chance to say no, cupping a hand around the back of his neck and forcing their mouths together. Liam gasped as their lips touched for the first time, and Zayn only allowed himself a second to enjoy how soft and full Liam's lips felt against his own before taking advantage, deepening the kiss. His tongue pushed into Liam's mouth, a moan rumbling deep in his chest when it met Liam's. Liam's tongue rolled against his in the most tantalizing way, and Zayn couldn't help but melt into the kiss, ceding complete control to Liam, his hands moving to scratch desperately down Liam's back.

Liam cupped his face, his thumb rubbing delicate circles into the skin of his cheek. He kissed Zayn slowly, taking his time, like kissing Zayn was the only thing he wanted to do and not just the precursor to something better. Zayn tried to lift his hips, wanting to push Liam further, but Liam didn't let him, his weight holding Zayn in place and forcing him to focus on nothing but the slow grind of their tongues, and the soft brush of Liam's nose against his own as he tilted his head, again and again, like he wanted to kiss Zayn from every angle imaginable. 

He pulled back a sliver, puckering his lips so that he could place a lingering kiss on one corner of Zayn's mouth before moving to the other, and then to the center of his lips, his touch so light that it felt like something out of a dream. And then he was nibbling on Zayn's lower lip, and pushing his tongue back into Zayn's mouth, and Zayn decided that he didn't care if he was dreaming, as long as he never had to wake up.

Kissing Liam wasn't like kissing Clark, not even close. His lips were so soft, and his tongue - it was magic, everything he was doing with it working Zayn into a frenzy. It was absolutely perfect, kissing him, and nothing like Zayn had imagined it would be. Zayn had thought it would be rough, and dirty, but it wasn't, not at all. No, it was sweet and gentle and way more than Zayn could handle. His head was spinning, because he didn't know how he was supposed to recover from this. Kissing Liam was supposed to be a one time thing, not something he wanted to do all day, every day, for the rest of his fucking life.

Liam broke the kiss, pulling back so that he could look at Zayn. "You're so fucking beautiful, Zayn. You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this," he murmured softly, before moving to close the distance between them once again. His words were everything Zayn wanted to hear, but they had the opposite of their intended effect, Zayn's heart clenching instead of fluttering as he realized that they were both getting in too deep.

He moved his hands to Liam's chest, pushing him back before what little strength he had to resist him crumpled completely. "We need to stop," he breathed.

Liam froze above him, confusion written all over his face. He closed his eyes for a moment, his breath coming out in a harsh huff, and then he was pushing himself up and sitting back on his heels, groaning as he palmed himself through his jeans. The outline of his length was clearly visible as he did so, and he was thick and hard and every bit as big as Harry had hinted, making Zayn regret ever having told him to stop.

"I'm sorry, you're right. We're probably going a little fast," he told Zayn, sounding just as wrecked as Zayn felt. He climbed off of Zayn completely a second later and stood up. Zayn did the same, even though what he really wanted to do was to pull Liam back on top of him so that they could continue where they'd left off. But he forced himself to walk to the door instead.

"I'm gonna...I'm gonna go," he said hesitantly, half wishing that Liam wouldn't let him; that he'd block the doorway and drag him into the bedroom and push him onto the bed, where he'd force Zayn to take whatever he wanted to give him. 

But Liam just stood where he was, an apologetic look on his face as he rubbed the back of his head. "Listen, I'm sorry if I pushed you too far. You could still stay the night though. We don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

Zayn rolled his eyes. The last thing he needed was for Liam to be worrying about his fucking feelings. "I'm not going to stay here and not do anything with you, because I'm really not into torturing myself," Zayn lied, because torture was exactly what it felt like to be standing there talking to Liam when they should have been fucking. "And you didn't do anything wrong, I just...I just need to go."

Liam nodded understandingly, and fuck, couldn't he put up a little more of a fight? Zayn groaned, annoyance flaring through him as he turned and reached for the doorknob. 

"Wait," Liam said quickly, and yes. Fucking finally. Liam's footsteps echoing off of the wood floor told Zayn that he was moving towards him, but he didn't turn around, wanting to wait for Liam to make him. But Liam didn't grab him when he reached his side, or push him into the door so that he could whisper all the dirty things he was going to do to him, the way Zayn wanted him to. No, Liam just bent down and picked up his jacket from the floor. "You can borrow this. It's freezing out," he said quietly, putting it over Zayn's shoulders.

"Fuck, stop being so goddamn nice all the time!" Zayn snapped, louder than he meant to, spinning around and pulling the jacket off. He shoved it against Liam's chest, satisfaction running through him when he saw a flash of anger in Liam's eyes. He didn't let himself stay to enjoy it, wanting to leave with the last word. He yanked the door open and pounded down the stairs, not feeling like he would be able to fully breathe until he was far, far away from Liam.

But as he walked home, cold and alone and still half-hard, he didn't feel any sense of relief at dodging the bullet that was Liam fucking Payne, each step away from him becoming increasingly difficult to take. But he didn't let himself turn back, knowing that this was for the best, even if it didn't feel like it.


	10. Chapter 10

**_And nobody loves you, baby, the way I do_ ** **_..._ **

Everything on the walk to the park the next day reminded Zayn of Liam, from Safaa roping him into giving her a piggyback ride to the couple he saw making out through a cafe window. It made Zayn think of kissing Liam; of the soft press of his lips and the slow tangle of their tongues, and how perfect and right it had felt. He wanted it again - Liam's mouth on his - more than he'd ever be able to admit, which forced him to wonder if he'd made a mistake in pushing him away.

But that was a dangerous line of thinking, and Zayn knew it. He'd felt blindsided the night before, the realization that he might like Liam - actually fucking like him, for real - hitting him out of no where. This new found knowledge weighed heavily on him. Zayn had his sisters to worry about, and Clark, and he didn't need some big dumb lug barreling his way into his life and his heart and fucking everything up.

What Zayn really needed was for Liam to start acting like the asshole he'd assumed he was when they'd first met, so that he didn't have to make this decision. His life would be so much simpler if he could go back to the Zayn he'd been before he'd gotten to know Liam, when he'd found his jokes annoying instead of adorable, and when he'd been more inclined to punch his face than to kiss it. But he couldn't imagine a scenario where that would be possible, now that he knew how amazing Liam was.

Twenty minutes later, and Zayn realized how wrong he'd been. 

He couldn't fucking believe he'd ever thought Liam Payne was someone he might want to be with for even one goddamn second. He took back every kind thought he'd had about him only hours before. He'd obviously been stupid to think that he might actually like someone who was so fucking irritating. So fucking relentless in his pursuit of annoying Zayn to death. Liam was an asshole, plain and simple, his sole purpose in life to make Zayn miserable.

He didn't know if Liam thought they were dating or fighting or what, so he hadn't been sure what type of greeting he'd get from him when he got to the field. But the last thing he'd expected was for Liam to run up to him, looking at Zayn like he was surprised to see him.  

"What're you doing here?" he asked, gently placing his hands on Zayn's shoulders. The concern on his face as he asked the question was obvious, but there was something beneath it, a hardening of his jaw and a light in his eyes, that made Zayn wonder how sincere it was.

"I'm here to play?" Zayn said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Why the fuck else would he be there?

"No no no," Liam clucked, shaking his head resolutely before turning to Doniya. "Don, you're not actually going to let him play, are you? He's still recovering," he reminded her, running a hand down Zayn's chest and letting it linger over his bruise.

Zayn swatted him away. "She's not my effing-" he huffed. "I'll play if I want to."

Doniya looked back and forth between the two of them, then shook her head and turned around, leading the girls towards the sideline. "It's too early to deal with you two's nonsense," she called over her shoulder.

Zayn looked back at Liam, noting that he no longer looked concerned but cocky. "What the hell are you up to?" he asked him, narrowing his eyes as a sharp smile slashed across Liam's face.

"What can I say, Zayn? I wouldn't be a very _nice_  guy if I didn't make sure that you don't get hurt again, now would I?" he asked as he backed away, his shoulders raised in a shrug. Zayn's mind flashed back to the last thing he'd said to Liam the night before, when he'd yelled at him for being too nice, and yeah, he did not like where this was headed.

"Listen up, boys," Liam called, clapping his hands to get his teammates' attention. "Number thirty-nine over there," he continued, pointing at Zayn, "had a little accident earlier this week and he's still in a lot of pain so we all need to be very, very gentle with him."

Zayn stared at him, slack-jawed with disbelief. "What the fuck, Liam?" he yelled, raising his arms in the air. Liam spun around to face him, his eyes bright as he bit his lower lip to hide his grin. "Motherfucker," Zayn muttered under his breath as he turned to face his teammates. "Ignore him. I'm fine," he assured them, shoving Niall as he began to cackle.

But apparently his teammates didn't believe him, or maybe they just believed Liam more, because every goddamn one of the traitorous bastards refused to pass him the ball.

"I was wide fucking open!" he yelled at Nate, after watching him throw the ball away despite the fact that no one had been covering Zayn.

"Calm down, man," Niall hushed him. 

"How am I supposed to calm down when we're losing because no one's letting me get my hands on the ball?"

"Liam's right, you know. It'd hurt like hell to get hit in the chest right now, and you know it. Bet your doctor even told you not to play, didn't he?" Niall pressed.

"Piss off," was Zayn's only response as he headed towards the other end of the field. Like some doctor and Liam knew his body better than he did.

"Precious cargo coming through," Liam shouted as Zayn ran by, cupping his hands around his mouth to amplify his voice enough for the entire park to hear.

Zayn changed direction, running right up to Liam, chests bumping as he got in his face. "I will end you," he vowed. And Liam, fucking Liam, he just smiled, raising his chin to get Zayn to look behind him, to where the Hoses had just put another seven points on the board.

Zayn seethed with frustration, unable to believe he'd let Liam distract him. He ran quickly across the field, knowing that it was time to take matters into his own hands. 

"Give me the ball this time, Nate, I mean it."

Nate sighed but nodded, and when the ref blew the whistle he lobbed it into Zayn's waiting arms. Zayn took off down the field, smiling when he saw Harry heading towards him. He ducked his shoulder, hoping that he'd be able to twist out of reach but willing to take the hit if not. He welcomed it in fact, needing to release some of his pent up anger. 

But then Liam was there, shoving Harry out of the way. "Stop, Harry!" he yelled, before wrapping his arms around Zayn's waist protectively. "He's been injured and needs to be treated with care."

"Don't fucking touch me," Zayn groaned, pushing Liam away from him and spiking the ball into the ground.

"That's not what you were saying last night," Liam reminded him, quietly enough that no one else could hear. " _Oh Liam, right there, fuck_ ," he mimicked, the shitty imitation of his voice only serving to piss Zayn off further.

"I remember nothing," he insisted.

"Well, I remember everything, and it was amazing," Liam promised him, rocking back on his heels as he looked Zayn up and down. "Especially when _you_  kissed _me_."

"You're delusional if you think that's how it happened."

"And you're in denial," Liam smirked.

There were several feet of space in between them, but Zayn felt like Liam was crowding into him, his face the only thing Zayn could see as anger made his vision narrow. "Yeah, well if you think it's ever gonna happen again you're fucking crazy."

"We'll see," he replied, the cocky bastard.

"Fuck you," Zayn spat.

"You look so damn good when you're angry," Liam murmured, his eyes focused so intently on Zayn's body that his gaze felt like a caress.

"I look good all the time," he growled, trying to ignore how much he wished Liam really was touching him. 

Liam walked towards him calmly, not stopping until he was right in front of him. The shouts of their teammates dimmed to a dull roar as Liam angled his body slightly, blocking Zayn from view from the rest of the field. "That's true, but I like knowing that, no matter how pissed you are at me, I can still turn you on," he whispered, the back of his hand brushing against the front of Zayn's pants, his sweats doing little to hide how much he liked fighting with Liam.

Zayn shoved him away, heat flooding his cheeks as anger coursed through him. He turned to face the other end of the field, just in time to watch as the other team scored the winning touchdown, and he groaned in exasperation, rubbing his hands up and down his face. He couldn't believe that he'd let Liam distract him yet again, or that he'd barely been able to touch the ball because his teammates had taken Liam's word over his own. He turned towards the sidelines and started walking towards his sisters, who were all smiling at him cautiously, like they knew he was about to explode and didn't want to set him off. 

He'd almost made it to them when Liam intercepted him, slinging an arm over his shoulder and steering him towards the parking lot.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Zayn demanded, trying to duck out from under him. Liam didn't let him, grabbing a hold of his collar and tugging him to his side.

"We're going to pick up pizza. We'll meet you back at the apartment," he yelled over his shoulder to the girls, and great, now Zayn had to either go with him or deprive Safaa of her favorite food.

He stomped the rest of the way to Liam's car, slamming the door behind him after he'd climbed into the passenger seat. "You're fucking paying," he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and staring out the front window.

Liam didn't say anything, which Zayn took as a yes, because no fucking way was he was buying Liam pizza after what he'd just put him through on the field.

"What, you're not going to force me to put on my seat-belt?" he demanded after a few more seconds of silence, the hard, steady beat spilling out of the speakers the only sound in the car. 

Liam ignored him, backing the SUV up and taking a left, driving them deeper into the park. "Hey asshole, you're going the wrong way," Zayn criticized. Still Liam didn't respond, his eyes on the road as he drove them to the opposite end of the park. "Turn around," Zayn ordered, slapping the back of his hand against Liam's arm to get his attention.

Liam pulled into a parking spot just next to a copse of trees and put the car into park, leaving the engine running as he turned to look at Zayn, his back resting casually against his door. He looked so fucking relaxed, which only made Zayn angrier. 

"What the hell are we doing here?" he asked, raising his arm to slap Liam again, wanting to smack that satisfied look off of his face.

Liam didn't let him, catching Zayn's wrist before he could make contact with his shoulder. "You hit me again, and I'm gonna have to punish you," he promised, his voice several octaves deeper than normal.

Zayn tried to pull his wrist back so that he could do just that, but Liam tightened his grip, his fingers digging into Zayn's skin so harshly that it might have been painful if Zayn could feel anything other than the blood rushing in his veins and his heart thundering in his chest.

Liam slowly lowered Zayn's wrist to his lap, his eyes dark as he turned Zayn's hand over, forcing his palm flat against the front of Liam's sweats.

Zayn made a weak attempt to pull away, the feeling of Liam fattening up under his fingertips too alluring for him to put up much of a fight. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" he asked, his voice low and rough.

"You left me with a bad case of blue balls last night, and I think you need to make it up to me."

"Fuck...you," Zayn groaned as Liam smoothed his hand over Zayn's, making Zayn curl his fingers around him through his pants. He was fully hard now, and Zayn couldn't stop himself from moving his hand back and forth, just a little, wanting to feel more of him.

"I bet you thought about me when you got home, didn't you, Zayn? Bet you wrapped a hand around yourself, pretending it was me touching you instead."

"You fucking wish," Zayn spat, his hand moving up and down more and more of Liam's length.

"Don't lie to me, Zayn. Tell me what you did," he ordered. "Did you stretch yourself open, or were you too worked up? I bet you came so fast, imagining me inside you, didn't you?"

Liam looked so thoroughly convinced that what he was saying was true, and it pissed Zayn the fuck off. He wrestled his hand out of Liam's grasp and moved away, scooting as far from Liam as the small space would allow, his need to prove Liam wrong stronger in that moment than his desire to get him off.

"Just because you can't think of me without needing to jerk off doesn't mean that-"

His words were cut off as Liam opened his door and jumped out of the car, slamming the door shut behind him. The back door opened a second later, and the next thing Zayn knew he was being dragged over the console and into the back seat.

"What the hell, Liam?" Zayn yelled, coming to rest on Liam's lap, Liam's fingers digging into his thighs where they were straddling Liam's hips. "First you won't let anyone touch me during the game and now you're fucking manhandling me?"

Liam tightened his grip, putting a stop to Zayn's feeble attempt to move off of him. 

"I'm the only person who gets to be rough with you," he told him, and fuck, Zayn liked the sound of that. He liked the feel of Liam underneath him as well, so strong and so hard. And then Liam sat up a little straighter so that he could take his shirt off, and- yeah. Zayn liked that too.

Playing with a hose for a living may have been a job for assholes, but it did a body good, that much was undeniable. Liam's shoulders were broad, the planes of his chest covered with a light smattering of hair that Zayn wanted to run his fingers through. And then there were his abs, and the line of hair leading into his low slung sweats, a treasure map that Zayn most definitely wanted to follow. He didn't know where he wanted to put his hands first. Or his mouth, every inch of Liam's skin begging to be tasted. But he knew where he wanted - needed - Liam to touch him.

And Liam, he must have been a mind reader, because he was right there, running the heel of his hand up and down Zayn's length through his pants.

"You have no idea how close I came to throwing you down out on the field, just so I could do this," he murmured, and holy hell Zayn probably would have loved it if he had, not that he'd ever admit it.

"Like I would've let you, after the shit you said. 'A little accident.' Way to make me sound like a pussy, dickhead," he berated him, his words coming out less harsh that he meant them to as Liam grabbed his ass and pulled him closer so that he could grind against him.

Liam's hand moved under his shirt, pushing it up until Zayn got the hint to take it off. The car was freezing, the air cranking through the vents still chilly, but Liam was hot hot hot, his fingertips leaving a trail of fire wherever they touched Zayn. And his dick, it felt even better moving against Zayn's than it had the night before, their sweatpants allowing them to feel more of each other than they'd been able to in jeans.

He brought his hands to the nape of Liam's neck, carding his fingers through his hair as he looked down at him. Up this close he could see all the tiny specks of color that worked together to make the brown of Liam's eyes so warm. He forced himself to look away, because why the fuck was he thinking about his eyes when he was making those sounds, little gasps falling from his lips every time they rubbed against each other just right. Zayn pushed against him harder, experimentally, and was rewarded when his gasp turned into a moan. The sound was loud and sinful and Zayn just had to taste it. So he did, slotting their lips together and ignoring the way Liam's mouth quirked up in a smirk as he did so.

Liam pulled back. "Thought you weren't gonna kiss me again," he reminded him, because he was an asshole. But his breath was already coming faster, his tongue snaking out to lick his lips like he was chasing the taste of Zayn.

"Shut up and kiss me," Zayn ordered.

Liam listened for once, a hand going to the back of Zayn's head and forcing him forward. Their mouths crashed together, lips bruising as Liam immediately deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue into Zayn's mouth. It was harsh and frantic and violent and the only thing it had in common with their first kiss was that it was just as perfect.

Liam scratched his way down Zayn's back before splaying his hand wide on his lower back, bringing him even closer as he started to rock up against him harder. Zayn clutched his shoulders and held on for the ride, unable to focus on any one thing when everything felt so fucking good.

"Bet I could make you come just like this. You think I could, Zayn?" Liam demanded, kissing the words into the skin of Zayn's chest as he bent Zayn back, fucking up against him faster. "Think I could make you come like a fucking virgin without even taking my dick out? Huh?" 

Zayn's body betrayed him once again, his cock lurching at Liam's words. But he bit his lip, refusing to answer. 

"We both know I could," Liam whispered knowingly. "But I don't think I can keep my hands off of you for another goddamn second."

With that he was shoving his hand down the front of Zayn's pants, fist curling around Zayn where he was hard and throbbing. He started to move, rubbing Zayn up and down slowly as his lips found Zayn's neck, licking and biting his way down the column of his throat. Zayn angled his head to the side and pushed his pants down as far as he could without disrupting Liam's movements, wanting to watch as his tip moved in and out of Liam's fist.

"Liam, _fuck_ ," he moaned as Liam ran a thumb over his slit, pushing in a little to coax more moisture out of him.

"Yeah? You like it like this?" Liam asked. His hand was relentless, and Zayn didn't know how to answer. Didn't know if he could answer, all of his energy consumed with ensuring that this didn't end too quickly.

"It's- good," he gritted out, jaw clenched to keep his moans in check. But Liam must have wanted to hear them, because he didn't let up, twisting his wrist as he rubbed over Zayn's tip. "It's - fuck - don't stop," he begged.

"I have no intention of stopping," he promised, his hand matching his words as he started moving faster.

Zayn's eyes were glued to where Liam's hand was working him over, but he could feel Liam watching him intently, studying his reactions and altering his movements accordingly, his sole intention to make Zayn feel as good as possible. But Zayn could see how hard Liam was, and he didn't want to be the only one feeling this good.

"Wanna feel you," he begged, too far gone to give a fuck how needy he sounded. "Wanna feel you too."

"Yeah? Fuck," Liam groaned in relief, releasing Zayn at once. Zayn sat up on his knees as Liam shoved his pants down, allowing Zayn to see him in all his glory for the first time, and fuck, Harry hadn't been lying. He was- fuck. He was perfect, so big and hard that it made Zayn's mouth water. He could've looked at him all day, but as it was he only got a second to fully appreciate the wonder that was Liam's cock before Liam was pulling him back down on top of him. He stared at Zayn as he brought his hand up to his mouth, pushing his tongue flat to his palm as he licked his way up to his fingertips. And then he was wrapping his fingers around them both, and Zayn couldn't look away.

He gasped as Liam held them together with a loose fist and started to move, rocking his hips up so that he could slide against Zayn. Zayn pressed forward, needing more friction, and it felt so fucking good that he had to do it again, and again. Liam let out a long moan, his movements stilling as he let Zayn set the pace. It all felt so fucking perfect, and then Liam began to speak in a low voice, his words punctuated by little moans and _fucks_  and _oh gods_ , and it all got impossibly better.

"Do you know how many times I've thought about this? About getting you hard, just so I could touch you like this?"

Zayn bent his head, kissing Liam's lips as he spoke, wanting to taste the words coming out of his mouth. Liam tried to kiss him back, but that was no good, because if he was kissing him he wasn't talking to him, so Zayn moved his lips to Liam's throat instead. Liam arched his neck, giving Zayn a world of skin to kiss. Zayn moved quickly, greedily, wanting to kiss him everywhere all at once.

"I'm gonna fuck you so good, make you come so hard," Liam murmured as he slid his hand up and down Zayn's side, his words a promise that Zayn had every intention of holding him to. But not this time, because Zayn was already too close.

He was doing most of the work, fucking in and out of Liam's fist, but Liam was right there, watching as their lengths slid together, his hand on Zayn's hip encouraging him to move faster. The windows had fogged over completely, blocking out the afternoon sun as Zayn gripped the seat on either side of Liam's head, fingernails digging into leather as Liam squeezed the hand wrapped around them a little tighter. Their moans were amplified in the small space, every sound Liam made driving Zayn to roll his hips harder, needing to hear more.

And then Zayn couldn't hear anything over the rushing in his ears, his back arching as his hips stilled, vision going white as every nerve in his body exploded. His limbs immediately turned to jelly, but Liam was there to take over, Zayn's come making the glide easy as he jerked himself off furiously, coming only seconds after Zayn as he moaned out his name.

Zayn rested his forehead on Liam's shoulder, loving the way Liam shivered underneath him as he came down from his high.

"Think we may have to start doing that after every game," Liam told him after he'd caught his breath, his lazy smile turning sharp as he wiped a come-covered hand off on Zayn's sweat pants.

Zayn's mouth dropped open. "I cannot believe you just did that, you fucker," he groaned, before grabbing Liam's jersey from the seat and using it to wipe off the mess on his stomach.

Now it was Liam's turn to groan as he shifted so that Zayn had to move off of him. "Think you should keep it just like this," he told Liam, kind of liking the way the white stood out against the red. "Wanna see me on you during the next game."

"You're just lucky I have my jump bag, or I'd have to punish you for that, too," Liam warned him, reaching for the duffle bag that was just behind the passenger seat.

"Got any spare pants for me in there?" Zayn asked.

Liam paused, like he was considering Zayn's question. "I might, but you'll have to give me a kiss if you want to find out."

Zayn rolled his eyes, because it was better than smiling like an idiot, which was what he felt like doing. 

"You're really annoying, you know that?" he said as he angled his body towards Liam, sliding a hand across his stomach and up his chest to his neck, applying the tiniest bit of pressure there so that Liam had to come to him. And then they were kissing again, Zayn's hands trailing lightly over every part of Liam he could reach. The kiss was soft and lazy this time, so different from how frantic it had felt only moments before, and he realized that Liam probably had a million different kinds of kisses stored inside him. 

Zayn wanted to experience them all.

They eventually stopped, as the dimming light in the car reminded them of the time. Luckily Liam did have a pair of sweats for Zayn to wear, ones that were comically big on him. 

"There's no way these fit you," he insisted after settling back into the passenger seat, pulling the waistband out to show that there was enough room to fit a whole other person inside.

"I'm telling you, they do. I'll have to show you sometime."

"You will," Zayn agreed, liking the idea of seeing Liam in these sweats and nothing else.

They headed for home (Liam made him put on his seat-belt this time), arguing over the radio the entire way. Zayn kept trying to change the presets when Liam wasn't looking, but he kept catching him and batting his hand away. When Zayn did it for a third time Liam grabbed his hand and didn't let go.

"If you can't control yourself then I'm gonna have to hold your hand until you can," he told him as he intertwined their fingers. Zayn didn't pull away, but only because he knew he wouldn't be able to resist the temptation of fiddling with the radio otherwise.

Which didn't explain why they were still holding hands when they got to Zayn's apartment, only letting go as they both got out of the car, fingers finding fingers before they'd even made it to the foyer.

They walked up four flights of stairs like that, Zayn's stomach fluttering nervously the entire way. It felt like the end of a first date, and he couldn't stop wondering if they were about to kiss, which was ridiculous considering that they'd just gotten each other off in a fucking Range Rover. But there was an undeniable shyness in the air, the atmosphere electric.

"Shit," Zayn groaned as they reached his front door, bringing a hand up to smack his forehead. He pushed Liam, just because he could, his hand curling around his bicep to keep him close as he stumbled back a step. "You forgot the pizza, asshole."

"You distracted me," Liam winked, or tried to at least, because he really fucking sucked at it, both of his eyes blinking sporadically as he leaned in to mouth at Zayn's neck, his hand slipping just under the hem of Zayn's jersey.

The cold touch of his fingers, and the hot caress of his lips, made Zayn fumble his keys, but it didn't matter, the door opening before he'd even turned the lock. Doniya stood in the doorway, her eyes wide as he and Liam jumped apart. 

"I've been texting you," she whispered frantically.

Zayn patted his pockets, realizing that his phone was in the pants he'd left in Liam's car. He was still smiling, unable to fathom what the big deal could be. What could possibly matter, now that he'd felt Liam's hands on him after imagining it for so long, and seen the face and heard the sounds Liam made when he fell apart, all because of Zayn?

But as he glanced over Doniya's shoulder he realized that the answer was right there, sitting on his sofa. Her face was makeup-free, her long black hair pulled back into a simple ponytail, and she was just as gorgeous as she had been when Zayn had met her all those years ago, on the first day of high school.

"Clark?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [This](http://cupcakes-x-cocaine.tumblr.com/post/134947250873/draedened-deactivated20141021-meagantandy) is who I'm picturing as Clark, because she'd look almost as hot with Zayn as Liam does...


	11. Chapter 11

**_It's been so long, it's been so long, maybe we're fireproof..._ **

Zayn didn't want to be melodramatic, but this was the worst thing that could possibly happen. Liam and Clark could not both be in the same place at the same time. They couldn't. All of the nervous energy he'd felt moments before was gone, replaced by legitimate fear over what would happen when they met.

Time seemed to slow to a crawl as he stood frozen in the doorway, watching as a huge smile spread across Clark's face, her eyes going soft as she spotted Zayn. He hadn't seen her since her semester had started back in September, but she looked just as pretty as ever as she moved Safaa off of her lap so that she could stand. 

He couldn't believe that she was actually there, and he realized with a start that he hadn't thought of her for hours, Liam the only person on his mind since the moment he'd seen him on the field. If he was being honest Liam had been the only person occupying his thoughts for days, or maybe even weeks, but that really wasn't fair, because Clark had been right there, in the background at least, texting him hello every morning and asking him about his day every night.

Clark was walking towards him, already holding her arms out for a hug, but he couldn't help risking a glance at Liam. He looked so happy, cheeks still tinged pink from Doniya catching them in the hallway, like he didn't know that Zayn's carefully constructed world was falling apart at that very moment. 

"Here Benjamin," Liam called as he bent down to pat his knees, earning a squeal of approval from Safaa.

"He's right there, silly," she laughed, pointing at his feet.

Clark reached Zayn just as Liam crouched down to pet Benjamin. He wrapped his arms around her automatically, her head tucked under his chin and the scent of her shampoo reminding him of home. Not the home that he was standing in now, but the house he'd grown up in, countless hours spent on the sofa with Clark, doing their homework and watching movies side by side until his parents got home and they all had dinner as a family. Clark was family, and a scalding shame burned through him at the thought of what he'd just done with Liam.

Liam looked up from his spot on the floor, his eyes flitting to where Zayn's arms were still wrapped around Clark's waist. Zayn dropped them to his sides at once, his hands shaking a bit because this was actually fucking happening.

"Hi," Clark said brightly, giving Liam a little wave.

"Oh shit, sorry," Zayn mumbled, his mind searching desperately for a way to get out of this situation and finding none. "Um. Clark, this is Liam Payne. Liam, this is Karma Clark."

Clark cringed, poking Zayn in the side. "Please call me Clark. Just because my parents are hippies doesn't mean that I am," she told him, sounding exasperated as she held out her hand for him to shake. Liam took it, a friendly smile on his face. "How do you know Zayn?" she asked him.

Zayn cut in before he could answer. "Liam's in the football league too. He uh, he gave me a ride home from the game."

"That was nice of you, Liam," she smiled sweetly, sliding an arm around Zayn's waist and resting her head on his shoulder, her movements comfortable and familiar. "I told him he shouldn't even play today considering his injury, but you know how he is."

"I do," Liam agreed. He was still smiling, but there was a tightening around his eyes that belied his easy answer. "I'm sorry, but how do you two know each other?" he asked as he looked back and forth between the two of them. His eyes settled on Zayn, but it was Clark who answered.

"I'm his girlfriend."

Liam looked at her as she spoke, then turned his head slowly towards Zayn, as if hoping that he'd call her a liar. But Zayn couldn't call her a liar. Couldn't do anything but watch as his two worlds collided, the meeting threatening to destroy everything he cared about.

"Huh. Funny you never mentioned her to me, Zayn. And here I thought we were friends," he murmured, his voice turning a bit sharp on the word _friends_.

Zayn's teeth worried at his lower lip as he shoved his hands in his pockets to keep from reaching out to either of them. "Are you sure? I thought I had," he said quietly, the lie getting stuck in his throat.

"Pretty sure I would have remembered that," Liam said, and this time there was no mistaking the edge in his voice.

Zayn turned quickly to Clark. "Listen, I left my phone in Liam's car. We're gonna run down and get it and I'll be right back," he told her before grabbing Liam's sleeve and pulling him towards the door, needing to get him out of there before he said anything more.

As soon as they were in the hallway Liam yanked his arm out of Zayn's grasp. He stormed away from him, jerking the door to the stairway open without a second glance back. Zayn ran after him, finally catching up to him on the second floor landing and jumping in front of him so that he couldn't go any farther.

"I'm sorry; I had no idea she was coming."

" _That's_ what you're sorry about?" Liam yelled.

Zayn shushed him hurriedly. "I should've told you, I know. I'm sorry, okay?"

Liam was quiet for a moment, staring intently at Zayn as he deliberated, and his voice was troubled when he spoke again. "Just tell me I haven't been wasting my time chasing after a straight guy."

Zayn could see the anger lurking just under the surface of Liam's calm exterior, and he knew what was causing it. He knew there were guys who played gay when it suited them, claiming to be straight but still wanting to know what it was like to be with a man. Guys who wanted blow jobs from boys with pretty mouths, but who never seemed to be down for returning the favor. Zayn was well aware of how pretty Liam's mouth was, but when it came to Liam he wanted to give as much as he wanted to get.

"You haven't, I promise," he assured him. 

"So you like guys?" Liam pressed.

"That's what I just said, isn't it?" Zayn said, rolling his eyes. 

"Zayn..." Liam coaxed, taking a step towards Zayn.

Zayn felt like his whole body was on fire, and not in a good way. "Yes, I like guys, okay?" he hissed. "In theory," he added quietly, looking down at the floor.

Liam moved forward, narrowing his eyes. " _In theory?_ Do you like them or not?" 

Zayn looked up at him, jaw twitching. "You're really fucking annoying, you know that?"

Liam took another step forward, close enough now that Zayn could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest. "Answer the question, Zayn."

Zayn let out a deep breath. "Yes, Liam, I like guys, fuck. And for some unknown goddamn reason I might even like you."

Zayn hoped that this admission would be enough to satisfy Liam, but he must have forgotten who he was dealing with, because Liam wasn't letting up, closing what little distance there was between them, pressing Zayn's back against the wall. "But..." he urged.

Zayn huffed, exhaling through his nose and looking anywhere but at Liam. "But I've never been with one, okay? I've never been with anyone but Clark."

Liam cocked his head to the side, his eyes going wide with wonder. "How is that possible, when you look like you do?" he asked, resting one hand on the wall next to Zayn's head while the other came up to his face, the backs of his fingers trailing slowly up and down Zayn's jaw.

"We've been together since we were fifteen," he said, moving to look at Liam as Liam slid his hand into the back of his hair. 

"So you've never done anything with a guy?"

Zayn shook his head no, noting the way Liam's eyes darkened at his admission. Liam's lips were parted, his breath fanning out over Zayn's face, and Zayn had never wanted to kiss him more. He turned his head to the side, his heart pounding wildly as he fought against the temptation that was Liam Payne. "I never wanted anyone but her, until...until you," he murmured, the words feeling like yet another betrayal.

"Fuck," Liam groaned, forcing Zayn to look at him so that he could rest his forehead against Zayn's. "That should not turn me on as much as it does."

Zayn closed his eyes, trying to regain control of his breathing and promising himself that he and Liam were through, even as he brought his hands up to clutch at Liam's shoulders.

"Do you know how much I could show you?" Liam asked, tugging lightly on Zayn's hair to make him tilt his head up. "How good I could make you feel?"

Zayn let out a tremulous breath and forced himself to shake his head. "We- we can't. Me and Clark...we've got history."

Liam released him at once, and Zayn regretted the loss of his touch immediately. Liam looked just as upset as Zayn felt, and Zayn couldn't help but reach out to him, bringing him closer once again, his hands sliding around Liam's neck as Liam's arms held on tight to his waist. 

"Just tell me that you don't like me, Zayn. Tell me you don't want me and I'll leave you alone," Liam breathed, tucking his head into Zayn's neck and skimming his lips along the sensitive skin just below his ear.

Zayn opened his mouth to say the words that he needed to say and that Liam needed to hear, but found himself speechless as Liam kissed his way up Zayn's throat and along his jaw, pausing when he reached his lips, his eyes searching Zayn's for any sign that Zayn didn't want this. He found none, and they were kissing an instant later. Zayn melted into it, every nerve in his body attuned to the way that Liam's lips were moving against his own. 

Liam hands moved to the back of Zayn's thighs, lifting him up and hooking his legs around his back. He pushed him up against the wall, moving against him slowly, rhythmically, until all Zayn could feel, all he could think about, was how much he wanted Liam. And then suddenly Liam was setting him down and stepping away, leaving Zayn a confused, breathless mess.

Liam, on the other hand, looked totally in control as he gazed at Zayn, his eyes bright with mischief. 

"You might not have noticed, but I kinda like to win," he smirked, slinging an arm around Zayn's shoulder as he started walking them down the stairs. "And if you're the prize, well then, I really don't see myself giving up any time soon."

Zayn felt an uneasy weight settle in his stomach, at the same time that a frisson of excitement shot through him. "What does that mean?" he asked tentatively, just as Liam pushed open the door to his building, a blast of cold air hitting them as they headed towards his car.

"It means I'm not going to kiss you again, or touch you again, while you're with her, but I'm gonna show you what you're missing out on every chance I get," he told Zayn, hooking his arm tighter around Zayn's neck to bring him closer, speaking his next words into Zayn's ear. "I'm not going to make this easy for you. In fact I'm gonna make it very, very _hard_ for you."

Zayn let out a nervous laugh as Liam released him and unlocked his car. He had no idea what Liam was getting at, but he knew that it was without a doubt going to lead to nothing but trouble for him.

"What're you talking about, exactly?"

Liam smiled as he held out Zayn's phone. "Don't worry, you'll see soon enough."

But Zayn was worried, nerves filling him to the brim as he turned to go back inside and realized that Liam was right behind him. "Are you...are you coming back up?"

"Of course. Unless you wanted to be alone with your girlfriend?"

"No," Zayn said quickly. "You can come in, if you want."

"Oh, I want to, Zayn, I really do." 

Zayn didn't say anything to that, torn between wanting to tell Liam that it was a bad idea and not wanting to hurt his feelings. But it was a really fucking bad idea, something Zayn realized as soon as they got back to the apartment, when Liam immediately plopped down on the couch next to Clark.

"Where's the pizza?" Safaa whined.

"Sorry sweets," Zayn said, bending down to kiss the top of her head. "The uh, the line was really long. We're gonna order some now. Right, Liam?"

"Right. What does everybody want? How about you?" Liam asked, turning his attention to Clark. "Karma was it?"

"It's Clark," she reminded him, her smile tight. "Zayn and I always get plain cheese."

Liam turned to Zayn, the smallest suggestion of a smile on his lips. "Is that what you want, Zayn? Or do you want to try something new? Maybe some sausage?"

Zayn choked on his tongue. "Just get me pepperoni," he gritted out after a moment, refusing to pick a side.

Liam smiled knowingly as he stood up and pulled his phone out of his pocket. "I really think you'd prefer the sausage," he murmured as he walked by Zayn on his way into the kitchen. Zayn ignored him, taking his place on the sofa and turning to face Clark. 

"How's school going?" he asked her, trying his best to focus on her and not the way Liam was bending over the kitchen counter as he ordered the pizza, his head turned so that he could look over his shoulder at Zayn.

"It's great. Well, super busy, but great. Professor Lockwood - you remember I told you about him?" Zayn didn't, but he nodded his head anyway, trying to look at her and not at Liam, who'd picked Safaa up and was dancing around the kitchen with her. "He's the one who recommended me for the internship over the summer, and he says that he thinks they'll offer me a full-time position as soon as I graduate."

"That's awesome, babe. Congrats," he murmured distractedly.

"You know what that means, right?" she asked, leaning in closer and lowering her voice so that only Zayn could hear her. "It means that we'll be able to afford a place of our own."

Zayn jerked back, his attention solely on her for the first time. "But what about the girls? I can't just leave Don to handle everything."

"No, of course not," she agreed readily. Zayn let out a deep breath, thankful that they were still on the same page. "Between both our salaries you'll still be able to help out with money. And we can get a place that's super close, so that you can visit all the time."

He opened his mouth to speak but didn't get the chance, Liam choosing that moment to come back into the room, sitting down on the floor in front of the coffee table, Safaa right beside him.

"What are you two love birds talking about?" he asked with a sweet as sugar smile that Zayn wasn't buying for a second.

"Clark's school," Zayn said quickly, trying not to think about Clark's plans for their future living arrangements. He knew that it wasn't fair to expect her to want to live with his sisters for the next ten or fifteen years. No one would want that.

"Where do you go?" Liam asked her, his interest seeming as genuine as his smile.

"The University of Buffalo."

Liam's smile faltered a notch. "UB? My uh...my family is very involved in their alumni programs."

"Wait, Liam Payne? Like, as in the William Statler Payne Academic Center? Is that your dad or something?" Clark asked with a laugh.

Liam scratched the back of his head, sheepish. "My great-grandfather actually," he finally admitted. "I'm the first in a long line of Paynes not to go to school there."

"Oh, where'd you go?"

"Nowhere. It didn't-," he cleared his throat, " _doesn't_ \- sit well with my parents, but I always knew I wanted to be a firefighter. Pretending to want anything else seemed like a waste of time," he added, looking right at Zayn.

Zayn looked right back at him, realizing just how much Liam had given up when he'd moved to the city. "Is that why you-"

He didn't get a chance to finish as a knock sounded at the door. "Pizza's here!" Liam smiled at Safaa, his eyebrows raised high. "I'll get it," he said as he stood up.

"I'm coming too!" Safaa insisted, scrambling to her feet and grabbing Liam's hand as he started towards the door.

Zayn's fingers twitched as he watched them, part of him wishing that he was the one holding Liam's hand. Which was really fucking ridiculous, because they'd held hands for a total of about two point three seconds, and it hadn't even been that great.  

Doniya and Waliyha joined them for dinner, and luckily for Zayn they handled the bulk of the conversation, since he was too busy waiting for Liam's next move and watching Clark for any hint of suspicion to say much.

"Mmmmhhhh," Liam moaned dramatically, sitting back after the last piece had been finished and sucking his fingers into his mouth one by one. "That sausage was delicious. Almost the best thing I've tasted today."

Zayn really hated him sometimes.

Safaa leaned over to put her hand on Zayn's knee, drawing his attention away from Liam, who was now licking his lips, the fucker. "Dessert?" she asked hopefully.

Zayn smiled down at her. "I'm sure we can find something."

The problem was, the only things Zayn could find for dessert in their cramped freezer were popsicles, and no fucking way was he trusting Liam with one of those after the display he'd just put on with his fingers. 

But Liam, because he was the devil, was right behind him, snatching the box out of his hand before he could shove it behind a bag of frozen broccoli.

"Ooh, I love these. Good call, Zayn," he murmured, giving Zayn's waist a quick squeeze before heading back into the living room to hand out the popsicles. Zayn followed him, sitting back down next to Clark, who leaned into his side.

"What color do you want, Zayn?" Liam asked, holding to box out to Zayn. "I know you like red."

"I'm not hungry," Zayn said, trying to keep his voice light.

"How about you, Clark? They're low calorie."

Zayn turned his head sharply towards Liam, but thankfully Clark just laughed. "I'll take a purple."

And then they were both sucking away, and Zayn didn't know where to look. But he did know that it would be a really bad fucking idea to look at Liam - he could already hear him slurping loudly - so he focused on the TV instead, grabbing the remote so that he could see what was on. 

He could see Liam typing on his phone out of the corner of his eye, but he forced himself to look away, not wanting to think about who he might be texting. It _was_  Saturday night after all, and it wasn't like he could expect Liam to just sit around waiting for him when he had a girlfriend. Liam was perfectly free to text whoever he wanted to, or even to go out with someone else if that was what he really wanted.

The thought made Zayn want to throw up.

He felt a little better when his own phone buzzed in his pocket, the realization that he was the person Liam had been texting bringing a small, satisfied smile to his face as he opened up the message.

 _Liam_ : Did I ever tell u that I don't have a gag reflex?

Zayn's head shot up to look at Liam - he couldn't help it - just in time to see Liam's lips wrap around the tip of his popsicle. Zayn turned away quickly, before he could see just how good Liam was at deep throating, his promise of how good he could make Zayn feel still fresh in his mind.

He turned his attention back to the TV, settling on a football game, the teams' blue and red jerseys reminding him a little of his and Liam's.

"Never thought I'd see the day that Zayn Malik would willingly watch a football game," Clark teased, turning her head to the side to give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"It's not so bad," he murmured quietly.

"Did someone say football?" Liam asked, looking up from where he was coloring on the floor with Safaa to glance at the screen. "Good choice, man," he praised Zayn, his smile fading as his eyes caught sight of something just past Clark's shoulder. Zayn followed his gaze, to where he was slowly winding Clark's ponytail around his hand, a habit so ingrained that he hadn't even realized he'd been doing it. He let go of her hair right away, but it was too late, Liam already standing up.

"Wow, I didn't realize it was this late," he said, looking at Doniya and Waliyha and basically anyone who wasn't Zayn. "I better be going."

"Liam, wait," Zayn started, standing up from the sofa and taking a step towards him.

"No, really, I- I've gotta go," he insisted quietly, holding a hand up to stop Zayn from coming any closer. He was out the door a second later, and Zayn was left standing there, his girlfriend behind him, tugging on his hand to bring him back down to the couch. 

"Is he always like that?"

"Like what?" Zayn asked, still looking at the door.

Clark shrugged. "He's just kind of strange, isn't he?"

Now it was Zayn's turn to shrug. He didn't want to talk to Clark about Liam.

"I should really get going too," she said with a sigh.

"You're not staying the night?" he asked, feeling more relieved than he should have.

"I wish I could, but I'm supposed to have brunch with the girls, and then I've got to work on my project for Principles of Finance."

Zayn nodded understandingly, even though he didn't have a clue which girls she was referring to, or what her project required. Not for the first time, it hit him that she had this whole life - friends and classes and parties - that he knew almost nothing about.

"I'll walk you down."

He waited by the door as she hugged each of his sisters goodbye in turn, smiling fondly when Safaa told her that she loved her.

"I love you too, Saf," Clark said, blowing her a kiss as she held her hand out for Zayn. He took it, trying not to compare the way it felt in his own to how it had felt to hold Liam's hand. She chatted excitedly about her plans for the week as they walked down the stairs, but he stayed quiet, trying to remind himself that liking Liam didn't mean that he loved Clark any less.

And as he looked down at her and she looked up at him, her pretty almond-shaped eyes shining bright in the moonlight, a smile playing on her lips as she stood up on the tips of her toes to kiss him goodbye, he knew that he did still love her. But, as their lips met for a kiss - one that was sweet and familiar and like everything about Clark, felt like home -, he realized that the opposite was also true: that loving Clark didn't mean that he liked Liam any less.

Doniya was alone when he got back upstairs, the book in her lap doing nothing to hide the fact that she was waiting for him. He knew there was no way to avoid her, the sound of splashing water coming from the bathroom telling him that Waliyha and Safaa wouldn't be bothering them for a while.

"What're you doing, Zayn?" she asked, looking up at him with worried eyes.

He sat down on the sofa, slumping against her, his head resting on her shoulder. "I have no idea," he admitted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lovely comments I've gotten from some of you have really helped to make me want to keep writing, and I'd love to hear what you thought of the chapter in the comments or on [Tumblr](http://cupcakes-x-cocaine.tumblr.com/) :-)


	12. Chapter 12

_**'Cause nobody saves me, baby, the way you do...** _

Doniya shifted so that she could run her fingers through Zayn's hair where his head rested on her shoulder. He closed his eyes, letting the steady motion of her fingertips distract him from his racing thoughts.

But the distraction only lasted so long, Doniya's thoughts apparently matching his own. "You have to choose between them, Zayn. You can't keep stringing them both along."

Zayn's shoulders tensed at her words. It was one thing to think it, but hearing the truth out loud fucking sucked. "I'm not stringing anybody along. I'm with Clark."

He felt more than heard Doniya's deep sigh. "I know why you're doing this, more than anyone else. You think I don't wish mom and dad were still here? Believe me, I want to make sure that the person I end up with is someone they'd approve of too."

"And is that so wrong?" Zayn demanded. "To want to be with someone they knew, and loved? Someone who remembers them, and how amazing they were?"

"You could tell Liam all about them. And then he'd know."  

"It's not enough. They loved Clark, and Saf loves her too."

"Yeah, well, in case you haven't noticed, she's pretty much head over heels for Liam. Next."

Zayn clenched his jaw, trying to find the words to voice all of the reasons why Clark was the one for him. "Saf's known Clark her entire life. I don't want to be the reason she loses someone else. I'm already doing a shit enough job taking care of-"

Doniya moved away from him, pushing him towards the other end of the sofa so that she could face him and silencing him with a withering stare.  

"Who's your best friend?" she demanded.

The corner of Zayn's mouth twitched, his eyes narrowing. "I feel like you want me to say you..."

She groaned in frustration, shoving his shoulder. "Just answer the question."

"I don't know, probably Niall," he shrugged.

"Yes, Niall. And how often do you invite him over, or go out with him on weekends?"

Zayn scrunched his face up in confusion. "I see him every day at work, what more do you want?"

"That's just it; you knew you'd have to see him every day, and that there would be no way to not get attached, and so you let him into your life. It's like you avoid making connections whenever possible, because you know that more people to love means more people to lose."

Zayn shook his head, trying to ignore how true her words rang. "You take like, one semester of psych and you think you know it all," he scoffed, picking at a piece of lint on his sweatpants.

"You know I'm right," she said knowingly. "Look how strongly you react whenever Liam's around. You-"

"That's because he's really fucking annoying," Zayn grumbled under his breath.

"At least he makes you feel something," she sputtered, her frustration clearly growing. "You and Clark hadn't seen each other in what? Like two or three months? And yet you barely touched her the entire time she was here."

"Liam was sitting right there! What did you want me to do, mount her in front of all of you?"

"That's just it, Zayn. Last night you had no problem practically banging Liam on the dance floor right in front of about a hundred people, which, for the record, is something I _never_  want to see again. But I bet you barely gave Clark a kiss goodbye. If it was Liam you probably would've been going at it in the back of his car."

Zayn turned away, flushing at the thought of him and Liam in his Range Rover.

"That's what I thought," Doniya said, nodding to herself. "Listen, you can be with Clark if that's what you really want. You know we all love her. But don't choose her because you think it's what we want, or what mom and dad would want. Put what you want first for once."

"It's not that easy."

"I know it's not," she agreed, rising to her feet and giving Zayn's shoulder one last squeeze. "Just listen to your big sister, okay?" she said, smiling sleepily when he gave her a small nod. "Good. Now I'm going to bed; your drama is exhausting."

"Goodnight," Zayn murmured after her, suddenly feeling exhausted himself. He scooted down so that he could rest his head against the side of the couch, throwing an arm over his face as Doniya's words swam through his head. He knew that she had some good points, but he also knew that what he and Clark had wasn't something that he could just throw away.

Yes, it was true that lately he'd felt only an echo of what he'd felt for her when they were younger, and he didn't know if that was because of distance or Liam or what. Or maybe it was just time, the first overwhelming flush of love inevitably giving way to something calmer and quieter. A fresh wave of grief washed over him, hitting him hard as he realized that his parents would have been the perfect people to ask whether this was part of the normal progression of a relationship, or if it meant that he and Clark weren't meant to be.

Zayn closed his eyes, wishing for sleep and hoping to wake up to a Liam-free heart and mind.

Instead he woke up just after one a.m. to find that he should have known better, because of course Liam wasn't going to let him off that easy. He wiped the sleep from his eyes as he reached blindly for the buzzing phone in his pocket.

"What?" he answered it without looking to see who it was.

"Is she there?" came the voice on the other end of the line.

It took Zayn a minute to realize who it was, Liam's voice rougher than normal, his slurred words getting lost in the loud music in the background. He sat up quickly, sleepiness immediately replaced with wariness as he realized that Liam was at a bar, drunk.

"Liam? Where are you? Who's with you?"

"Is she there?" Liam demanded, ignoring Zayn's questions in favor of repeating his own.

Zayn sighed, "No, she left a few hours ago."

"For good?" Liam asked. His voice suddenly sounded much brighter, and Zayn couldn't help but chuckle at his hopefulness.

"What're you doing out so late?" Zayn couldn't stop himself from asking, hating that he sounded like a jealous boyfriend when that was the last thing he had the right to be.

"Thinkin' 'bout you."

Zayn smiled as he lied back down and closed his eyes, pulling the blanket draped over the back of the couch on top of him. "Well, you should be at home, in bed."

Zayn heard Liam laugh, and he pressed the phone closer to his ear, letting the sound reverberate through him. "I like the way you think, Malik. Meet me there in ten?"

Zayn bit his lip, trying not to imagine what would happen if he were to show up at Liam's place. "You wish, Payne."

"I do wish," Liam murmured quietly. Zayn noticed that the noise of the bar had disappeared, replaced with the soft sounds of traffic in the distance and the harsh huffs of Liam's breaths. "Come on, Zayn, I'm just around the corner from my house. Can be in bed and waiting for you in two minutes flat."

"Thought you weren't going to touch me again?"

"Fuck, I kinda forgot about that," he said, before going quiet for a moment. "Guess I'll just have to tell you what I'd do to you instead, huh?"

Zayn knew that he should hang up, he did, but he also knew that he really, _really_ wanted to hear what Liam had to say.

"So telling me...that's not against the rules?"

"It probably should be, but I'm drunk enough to make an exception." Zayn could hear the jingle of Liam's keys, and the soft click as he turned the lock, and he knew that Liam was home.

"Tell me when you're in bed," he found himself saying, keeping his voice low.

"I'm there," Liam said twenty seconds later, his voice breathless like he'd been running. Zayn tried to picture it, Liam sprawled out on his bed, skin sweaty and chest heaving as he unbuttoned his jeans, his phone tucked between his ear and shoulder. "What're you wearing? You still in my sweats?"

"Yeah," Zayn murmured, running his palm over the front of them.

"You got a shirt on?" he asked.

"No," Zayn answered, sitting up and pulling it off to make it true. "What about you?"

"Naked as the day I was born, baby."

Zayn groaned, his mental picture refining itself as he imagined Liam kicking his clothes off hurriedly as he headed towards his bedroom and collapsed onto his bed, smoothing his hands up his thighs as he spread his legs, wishing that Zayn was there to force them apart. 

Zayn trailed his own hand along the waistband of his sweats, teasing himself as he imagined that it was Liam's fingers pushing beneath it and running up and down where he was hard and ready. And Liam, the bastard, it was like he could read Zayn's mind, his words making Zayn even harder, his tip already leaking.

"You hard for me, babe? Got your hand wrapped around you wishing it was me?"

"Yeah," Zayn said, his breath hitching into the phone as he curled his hand around his length and started slowly stroking himself. "You?"

"Fuck, Zayn, I'm so hard for you. All I've been able to think about all night is the things I'd do to you, if you were mine. I could make you feel so fucking good, Zayn. You have no idea what you're missing."

But Zayn did have an idea, the memory of what he and Liam had done that afternoon and how good it had felt still fresh in his mind. But that didn't mean he didn't want to hear more about it. "Tell me. Tell me what you'd do to me," he begged quietly as he fumbled under the couch with his free hand, searching for the lube he kept hidden there.

He heard Liam groan, and the slick sound of a hand sliding slowly up and down a cock. He matched the pace of his own hand to it, resisting the urge to fuck up into his fist and end this all too soon. 

"First I'd spread you out on my bed, so I could look at you, see how hard you are for me. How hard are you for me, Zayn?" he demanded, his voice ragged.

"So hard, Li," Zayn admitted, his shame disappearing as he gave himself over to the lust coursing through him.

"Bet I could make you even harder. I'd suck you so good, make you feel better than anyone else could. God, Zayn, I wanna be inside you so bad. You think you'd like that? Me inside you?"

Zayn could hear Liam beating off faster now, and he sped up his own movements, loosening his fist so that he tug his cock more quickly.

"First I'd lick you all over, get you nice and wet for me. I'd make it really good for you, stretch you out so slowly, maybe make you come from my fingers before I'd dick you down. You ever been fingered, Zayn?"

Zayn let out a shaky breath, tucking his phone under his chin so that he could slide his free hand inside his boxers, reaching down to cup his balls briefly before moving lower, the pad of his middle finger teasing over his hole. "You know I haven't," he managed to get out.

Liam moaned shamelessly, wantonly, and Zayn wished he was there to taste the sound of it. "I could make you come again and again, without ever touching your cock."

"How would you want it, if I was there?" Zayn pressed, needing to hear that Liam fantasized about fucking him as much as he did.

"Fuck, Zayn, don't make me choose. I want you on your back, your legs on my shoulders, so that I can watch your face as you get fucked for the first time. I want you on your hands and knees for me, begging me to give it to you harder. I wanna fuck you against my front door and bend you over my kitchen table. I want you on top of me. Bet you'd look so good bouncing on my cock. There's a million ways I wanna fuck you, Zayn, so don't make me choose."

Zayn's hand moved faster, twisting over his wet tip as heat pooled in his stomach. He moaned before he could stop himself, then quickly brought his left hand up to his mouth, biting at the fleshy part of his palm to hold in all of the noises he was desperate to let out.

"I know you gotta be quiet, Zayn, but if you were here you could be as loud as you wanted. One day I wanna hear you moan, make you scream my name. You think you'd like that, babe? Think you'd like screaming my name and begging for me to fuck you harder?"

Zayn didn't get the chance to answer him, a litany of curses and his own name filling his ears as Liam started to come. Zayn followed right behind him, coming all over his fingers as he held a pillow tight to his face, breathing Liam's name into it as his back arched off of the sofa, his entire body tingling as pleasure flowed through him.

They were both quiet for a few long moments, listening to each other breathe as Zayn's heart rate returned to normal. Liam was the first to speak, his voice tinged with a quiet amusement as he said, "So I guess now you know what I think about every night. Lemme know if you ever wanna make it a reality."

With that he was gone, the line going silent as Zayn wondered if that meant that the ball was truly in his court; that he wouldn't hear from Liam again unless he made the first move.

He should have known better.

Liam turned out to be savage in his determination to make Zayn want him. Which was really fucking unnecessary, considering that Zayn already wanted him. Over the next few days, he started sending Zayn a series of increasingly hot selfies, from the bed head ones he sent him first thing in the morning to the shirtless pics he sent after every workout or shower to the ones he texted late at night. These were the hardest to ignore, Liam's boxer briefs doing little to hide how hard he was, his fist wrapped loosely around himself through the thin cotton. And as if the pictures weren't hot enough, they were always captioned with things like _think u could handle it?_ and _u see what u do to me?_ , like Zayn wasn't already aching for Liam.

But Liam hadn't called him again, or pushed to take things further, so all in all Zayn considered himself lucky. By Friday he'd gone almost a week without Liam getting him off (jerking off to the pics he sent didn't count as long as Liam didn't know about it), and in these desperate times he counted that as a sign that he could do this; that he could make things work with Clark and stay away from Liam. He just had to avoid him for a little longer, until the memory of how much he wanted him wasn't so fresh in his mind.

He'd already asked Doniya not to invite Liam to the apartment until he was over his 'stupid fucking crush, or whatever', which was why it caught him totally off guard when he opened the door on Friday night to find Liam instead of Waliyha's date for the school dance, whom he'd been expecting.

"Liam? What're you doing here?"

Liam held up the camera that was hanging around his neck. "Waliyha requested my mad photography skills. Or maybe it was just the use of my Canon she wanted, I'm not entirely sure."

Liam looked like such a dork, standing there with his big, fancy camera and his big, dumb grin, that Zayn stepped to the side to let him in without thinking, before turning quickly and walking back into the kitchen. He sat down at the table, purposely keeping his back towards Liam as he started shuffling through the bills stacked in front of him, trying to put them in order of priority. Some of the numbers boggled his mind. When he was a kid he'd thought that a salary of forty grand a year would be plenty, but between tuition for two private schools and the monthly bills that never seemed to end he felt like he was barely keeping them afloat.

"I brought you this," Liam said, snapping Zayn's attention back to him as he hung something up on the cork board next to the refrigerator. Zayn's eyes narrowed as Liam stepped to the side to let him see that it was one of the calendars the fire department put out every year to raise money for charity. Liam had opened it to July, the photo for that month showing him posing shirtless with a hose, water running down his body.

Zayn looked away quickly, trying to sound uninterested. "A, it's December. And b, I thought they only used good looking guys for those things. Guess they had to scrape the bottom of the barrel this year, huh?"

Liam pulled out the chair next to him, his lower lip sticking out as he brought his hand up to his chest. "You wound me, Zayn. And here I was about to show you all the pics from my shoot that were too hot to make it into the calendar," he pouted, pulling out his phone. "Wait 'til you see the one with the ax. It was way too small to cover my-"

The girls chose that moment to come out of their bedroom, Safaa calling, "Look Zayn, look Mr. Liam! Liyha looks like a princess!"

Zayn swiveled around in his seat, resting his elbow on the back of his chair as he looked at Waliyha, taking in long legs leading to a very short dress. "Nope," he said, raising his arm to point her back towards her bedroom as he shook his head from side to side.

Waliyha stopped where she was, her hands coming to rest on her hips and her eyebrows raised.

"Hush, Zayn," Doniya scolded him as she swatted his hand away. 

"Yeah, hush," Safaa repeated, standing with her hands on her hips in a perfect imitation of Waliyha.

Zayn sighed in defeat as Liam snapped a quick picture, knowing that he didn't stand a chance against the three of them. 

"Up up up, go get with your sisters," Liam coaxed, cupping a hand under Zayn's arm to haul him to his feet. 

Zayn rolled his eyes but stood anyway, squeezing in between Doniya and Waliyha and tossing an arm over each of their shoulders. 

"Big smiles everybody," Liam called, backing up against the kitchen wall so that he could fit them all in the frame. "Stop pouting, Zayn, it isn't cute."

"I think we both know that's a lie," he said dryly, smiling nonetheless as he looked into the lens.

Liam snapped a few more pictures, most of them ruined by Zayn tickling his sisters' sides and leaning over to whisper in Waliyha's ear, "This Calum kid knows I have a gun, right?" because even though Doniya insisted they pose for a few more with perfect smiles on their faces, Zayn knew he'd like the ones where they were laughing and looking away from the camera best.

Finally Calum texted to let Waliyha know he was there, and with a hurried "Let's go, Liam; I want pics in the snow," Zayn was left alone in the apartment. He took the opportunity to grab a beer and head to the laundry room in the basement of the building, certain that doing laundry all night was a smarter option than hanging out with Liam. 

But of course Liam found him, wandering into the room like a lost puppy just as Zayn was pouring soap onto the first load of clothes. 

Zayn sighed. "How'd you find me?" 

"The building's not that big," Liam smiled. "And nothing can stop me when I'm looking for something I want."

Zayn groaned, because he was already way too aware of that fact.  He'd been wrong before; Liam Payne wasn't a lost puppy, he was a hound dog.

"Don't you have anything better to do on a Friday night than bug me?" he asked pointedly.

Liam's eyebrows crinkled in mock confusion. "But what could be more fun than bugging you? Though I really think you shouldn't even bother with laundry. Think I'd rather see you walking around naked all the time."

Zayn arched an eyebrow. "I'm not sure my sisters would appreciate that. And I think you should go, I dunno, do something. Somewhere else."

"Well, your sisters should be willing to suffer for the greater good. And I would totally leave, but I can't really go out in a dirty shirt," he added, grabbing Zayn's beer and dribbling some of it onto his sweater. "Whoops. You mind washing this for me?" he asked, lifting his camera off and holding it to the side as he reached behind him with his free hand to pull his sweater over his head, tossing it into the washing machine like he was shooting a jump shot before Zayn could stop him.

Zayn allowed himself a second to stare at him, noting that Liam looked just as good as he had in the gym selfies he'd been sending all week, his chest and abs perfectly defined under a light layer of hair. He made himself look away, slamming the lid to the washer shut with a little more force than was strictly necessary before hopping up onto it.

"Oh, I think I need a picture of this," Liam murmured, holding his camera up to his face and clicking away. 

Zayn frowned at him. "Stop."

"Don't be like that, sweetheart," Liam clucked. "You must make love to the camera. Show me what you're working with," he purred in a shitty French accent, ignoring Zayn's profanity laced protests before finally moving his camera to the side when Zayn reached out to block the lens.

Liam narrowed his eyes at him as he set his camera on the dryer, inching closer as he looked him up and down. "I hate to tell you this, Zayn, but your shirt looks a little dirty too. Is that a stain I see?" he asked, closing the distance between them and reaching for the hem of Zayn's hoodie. Zayn gasped when Liam's cold fingers skimmed along his stomach, biting back a laugh as he tried futilely to push him away.

"You better stop, Liam," he yelled, trying to sound angry as Liam continued to grab at him. 

And then all of a sudden Liam's hands stilled, fingers curling briefly into the skin of Zayn's sides before slowly sliding down, until they were perched on the top of Zayn's thighs. They were both slightly out of breath, Liam standing between Zayn's spread legs, their faces only inches apart.

"You're probably right," Liam breathed, his fingers digging in. "If I don't stop now I might not be able to later. And that'd be really, really bad, right Zayn?"

Zayn nodded slowly, swallowing down the denial on his lips, his eyes locked on Liam's hands where they were smoothing up and down his thighs. The whole atmosphere in the room had changed in an instant, the air crackling with words unspoken and lips unkissed as Zayn fought the urge to run his hands over Liam's bare chest.

Liam was quiet for once (a miracle in and of itself) and Zayn couldn't help but look at his lips, and the shape of them: a perfect red heart, just begging to be kissed. He wanted to trace them with the tip of his tongue, to memorize their outline, their fullness, and the way they felt against his own. But he settled for bringing a hand to Liam's mouth, running the pad of his thumb over the cupid's bow of his upper lip.

Liam grabbed his wrist and pulled him away, turning Zayn's hand over so that it was palm up before bringing it back up to his face. "Tell me it's a bad idea, Zayn," he pleaded, placing a soft kiss in the center of Zayn's palm before moving lower, kissing the sensitive skin of Zayn's inner wrist. "Tell me, because right now it's seeming like the best idea in the world."

But Zayn couldn't tell him, these gentle kisses and soft words making his whole body tremble. Liam moved Zayn's hand to the back of his neck, pushing it into his hair until Zayn got the hint and began to lightly scrape his fingers along Liam's scalp. And then Liam's own hands were sliding up Zayn's thighs to his hips, fingers looping into Zayn's jeans to pull him to the edge of the washer, his front pressed flush to Liam's as Liam brought his hands up to cup Zayn's cheeks.

"Tell me you want this," he murmured, leaning in as he skimmed his thumb along Zayn's lower lip. "Tell me you want me to kiss you."

"Liam..."

Liam closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them again they were dark. "You have to say it, Zayn."

Zayn felt like he was standing on the edge of a cliff, or perched at the very top of a roller coaster, suspended in the moment right before it went over the edge. His heart was beating wildly in his chest, because he knew that he was about to plummet to the ground, and that nothing could stop him. He leaned in, tilting his head to the side as his lips parted, pausing just a hair's breadth away from Liam's. But still he didn't speak.

"Come on, Zayn," Liam urged. "Tell me you only want me, not her."

The mention of Clark snapped Zayn back to reality, the heat in his veins replaced with ice water. He pushed Liam away and hopped off of the washing machine, needing more distance between them. "I can't say that, Liam."

"Why not?" Liam asked, and he sounded so broken that it took every ounce of willpower Zayn had not to go to him.

"Fuck, I don't know," Zayn groaned, running his hands over his face. "She's a good person, and she's always been there for me. She doesn't deserve to get dumped just because I met some stupid fireman I can't stop thinking about!"

Liam took a step closer to him. His face was red as he raised a finger to point at Zayn, his voice harsh when he spoke. "That's very noble and all, but it's a shit reason to stay with someone, and you know it," he told Zayn, poking him in the chest with every other word.

Zayn slapped his hand away. "First of all, back the fuck up off me. And secondly, you don't know a goddamn thing about my relationship."

"I know that it's the weekend, and that instead of going to visit her, you're here, with me," Liam said, closing the distance between them once again.

"Oh, did I invite you here? Funny, I don't remember it that way. And why do you even fucking care? You've never even said that you like me!" Zayn screamed. He knew that he was being too loud, that the neighbors would hear, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Anger was setting his blood on fire, heat shooting through his veins and all he wanted was for Liam to stop talking about Clark.

"I'm here, aren't I?" Liam yelled, grabbing the front of Zayn's shirt. "You've got a girlfriend - one you seem to have no intention of breaking up with - yet I'm still here. That should tell you everything you need to know!"

"Oh, a hot headed fireman, how fucking original," Zayn sneered, trying to break Liam's hold on his shirt.

"Look, a lying, cheating cop, somebody alert the media," Liam spat, his breath hot on Zayn's face as he yanked him forward. 

The next thing Zayn knew they were kissing, teeth mashing and tongues pushing into mouths as hands gripped tightly to any skin they could find. Zayn broke the kiss to shove Liam against the dryer, but he was back on him a second later, his teeth biting into the skin of his neck, his tongue pressing against the birthmark on the front of his throat, torn between wanting to torture him and wanting to turn him on.

But Liam was already there, his hands gripping Zayn's hips and forcing him closer, showing him that he was just as hard as Zayn was as he grabbed a fistful of Zayn's hair and crashed their mouths together once again. Zayn groaned as pain shot through him, but Liam soothed the sound away with his tongue, swallowing it down as Zayn rutted his hips against him.

"I want you so fucking bad, Li," Zayn moaned against his skin, tucking his head into Liam's neck as he pushed against him harder.

Liam hands tightened on Zayn's hips, his fingers digging into Zayn's skin revealing his desperation. "Just...just dump her, and I'm all yours," he whispered.

Zayn didn't say anything, his hips faltering in their movement. But that must have been all the answer Liam needed, because he pushed Zayn away an instant later, his breath coming out in pants as he glared at Zayn.

"That's it," he said quietly, holding up both hands to stop Zayn as he started to take a tentative step forward. "That's the last time, Zayn. I mean it. No more kisses, or calls, or texts, until you make up your fucking mind. I'm done."

With that he was gone, and Zayn was all alone.


	13. Chapter 13

**_I think I'm gonna win this time...  
_ **

Zayn leaned against the dryer, dropping his head into his hands as he fought the urge to go after Liam. This was what he wanted, for Liam to leave him alone, he reminded himself as he absentmindedly picked up the camera he'd left behind, clicking through picture after picture of Waliyha and Calum. He paused when he came to a selfie Liam had taken of him and Safaa, both of them looking into the camera with goofy grins.

Zayn shut the camera off quickly and pushed it to the side, repeating _I love Clark_  like a mantra in his head, until he wasn't thinking of Liam at all. Which was why he didn't know why Liam's face flashed into his mind as his phone buzzed repeatedly in his jeans, his name on Zayn's lips as he pulled it hurriedly from his pocket, hoping that Liam was already breaking his promise by texting him.

A hard knot of disappointment settled in his stomach as he saw that it was only Doniya.

 _Don:_ Why was Liam just up here looking like he was about to cry?

 _Don:_ And why wasn't he wearing a shirt?

 _Don:_ WHAT DID YOU DO ZAYN???

Zayn shoved his phone back into his pocket without bothering to answer her. He had no fucking clue what he was doing lately, but he knew he didn't want to hear any shit from Doniya. She really didn't have room to talk, considering how badly her last relationship had ended. He knew that the anger he felt towards her was misplaced, but it was better than thinking about Liam.

Liam, with his puppy dog eyes and his perfect abs and his soft, sinful mouth. This whole staying away from him thing would be so much easier if he wasn't so annoyingly attractive. Or so sweet to his sisters. Or such a good kisser. It would really be for the best if Liam could just stop being himself entirely, so that Zayn could stop wanting him so badly.

Zayn pulled his phone back out, dialing Clark's number before he could stop himself, needing to hear her voice so that he could remind himself of how much he loved her.

She answered on the third ring, her soft, "Hey babe," calming him immediately. 

"Hey," he said quietly.

"Is everything okay?" she asked, because she knew him better than anyone, able to tell with just one word that he was upset.

"Yeah," he lied. "Just missing you," he added, tucking the phone under his ear as he bent down to move the clothes into the dryer.

"I miss you too," she said. He could hear the smile in her voice as she spoke, and it made him smile too.

"You think you'll be able to come down here anytime soon? Maybe for Christmas?"

"My parents were actually planning on coming here. Dad wants to get out of the city for the holiday," she said before pausing. "You could...you could come with them. You know they'd love to see you."

Zayn hopped up onto the washer and took a sip of his beer before answering. "Yeah...maybe I will," he told her, though they both knew that he wouldn't. He changed the subject, moving onto safer topics like schoolwork and Safaa's new claim that Benjamin was, in fact, a girl dog.

They spent the next hour like that, talking about anything and everything. Everything but _the_ thing, which was that Zayn was kinda, sorta falling for someone else and would it be okay with her if he dated them both? But he obviously couldn't ask her that, or mention Liam to her at all, afraid if he did that she'd hear something in the way he said his name, his tongue curling around the word _Liam_ like a kiss.

He felt better when they got off the phone just as Zayn finished folding the laundry, the words "I love you" falling easily and truthfully from his lips. As he headed back upstairs he told himself that this was why Clark was good for him. He needed someone who calmed him down; someone who knew everything about him and loved him anyway. What he didn't need was someone who pissed him off as much as he turned him on.

What he didn't need was Liam. And if he happened to wear Liam's sweater to bed that night it was only because it was really fucking cold, and the sweater was right there on top of the laundry basket. It had nothing at all to do with Liam.

It was still cold the next morning, the wind so bitter on their walk to the park that Zayn wished for the first time that he didn't have a game that day. It wasn't just the weather that was getting to him. He felt totally unprepared to see Liam again, so soon after the fighting and the kissing and the way he'd looked when he'd told Zayn that he was done with him.

Liam wasn't there when they arrived, so Zayn headed towards his teammates to warm up, keeping one eye on the parking lot. Liam pulled in a few minutes later, and he looked far cuter in the light gray beanie he was wearing than he had any right to. Obviously God was ignoring Zayn's prayers that he make Liam unattractive.

He watched as Doniya waved Liam over, handing him the camera that he'd left behind the night before. Zayn supposed that he should have brought the sweater with him as well, but he hadn't, and if Liam had to come over to get it, well, that wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Liam looked over at Zayn then, staring at him for a long moment before turning back to Doniya and shaking his head. Zayn wondered what Doniya had asked him, and why it hurt so badly that Liam hadn't returned his wave.

Liam took the long way around to his side of the field, and Zayn had a sneaking suspicion that he'd done it so that he didn't have to pass Zayn. In fact, Liam stayed as far away from Zayn as he could the entire game. He was ignoring Zayn completely, which was even worse than if he'd been rude to him. Instead it was like he didn't care about Zayn one way or the other. Maybe Zayn had imagined the whole thing, and Liam had never liked him at all.

The thought made him sick.

"Hey Liam," he tried as Liam ran by him towards the end of the game.

"Hey," Liam said, keeping his eyes on the ground and off of Zayn.

Zayn called for the ball on the next play and headed straight for Liam once he had it in his hands, knowing that Liam's competitive streak would drive him to try to stop him. He knew that it was childish, but at this point he was desperate enough for Liam's attention that he was willing to force him into it. 

He wasn't disappointed, Liam barreling towards him with a look of determination. He expected Liam to stop short so that he could tag Zayn, but Liam just kept coming, not giving Zayn a chance to brace himself for the hit before he was tackling him to the cold ground. Fucking finally, Zayn thought as Liam landed on top of him, his heart beating against Zayn's as he looked down at him, and yes, this was what Zayn wanted. He wanted Liam on top of him, Liam staring down at him. 

He brought his hands up to Liam's waist, wanting to hold him there for as long as he could. He didn't even care that Liam was looking at him like he wanted to murder him, because at least it meant that Liam was still feeling _something_  towards him.

Liam climbed off of him all too soon, reaching a hand down to help Zayn up because he was a nice guy even when he was angry. "I'd say I was sorry, but I think we both know you deserved that."

Zayn nodded sheepishly, scrunching his nose up as he brushed bits of snow and grass from his pants. "Yeah, guess I did. Listen, I'm sorry about-"

"Stop. Please just stop," Liam interrupted. "I'm just here to play, okay?" he said, which sounded more like _I'm not here for you_  to Zayn's ears. He didn't give Zayn a chance to reply as he started jogging backwards, moving further and further away from him, his eyes already back on the game.

Zayn didn't bother calling for the ball again after that, nor did he try to speak to Liam again. The Guns won the game after Niall scored a pretty impressive touchdown in the fourth quarter, but Zayn couldn't bring himself to get excited over the victory. He overheard the other team talking about meeting up for drinks later that night, and he forced himself to look away before he could see whether Liam was part of the group that was going.

It didn't matter anyway. It wasn't like Zayn was going to go hang out with a bunch of firemen just so that he could maybe, possibly spend some time with Liam, especially when it was obvious that Liam wanted nothing to do with him.

He jogged over to join his sisters, all of them heading to the other end of the park, where the parking lot had been filled with Christmas trees for sale. Safaa picked the biggest one they could afford, meaning that Zayn and Doniya had to drag it all the way home while Safaa ran circles around them, telling them that she got to decide where all the ornaments went.

"Bet you wish you and Liam weren't fighting now," Waliyha said snidely as Zayn paused on the landing of the third floor, dropping the tree to the floor as he tried to catch his breath.

"Shut it, or I'm making you carry it the rest of the way up," he told her, though he knew she was right. He should have asked Liam to help him. Liam would have said yes, too, even though he was obviously still mad at Zayn, and then Zayn could've had the chance to give him a proper apology. And his back wouldn't have been aching from having to carry the heavy end of the tree.

Though the one good thing that came from lugging a 40 pound tree down five blocks and up four flights of stairs was that he was in too much pain to think of Liam. Well, to think of him much anyway, his face only flashing in Zayn's mind every few feet or so.   

He spent the rest of the day with his sisters, decorating the tree and hanging their stockings on the fire escape so that Santa could get to them since they didn't have a fireplace. He managed to make it to the end of the day without mentioning Liam, but as Doniya got up to get ready for bed he couldn't stop himself from asking her what he'd been dying to know all day. 

"What were you and Liam talking about, after you gave him his camera back?"

Doniya looked up from where she was straightening Safaa's toys. "I asked him if he was okay."

Zayn bit his lip, wondering if he should press for more information. In the end he had to, even though he was pretty sure he knew what Liam's answer had been. "What did he say?"

"He said no," she told him simply. Zayn wished immediately that he hadn't asked, the knowledge that Liam wasn't okay sinking into him, making him ache all over.

It was all his fault. Liam was hurting and it was all Zayn's fault. The thought kept sleep at bay, and Zayn was still tossing and turning when his phone buzzed just after midnight. The hope that it might be Liam calling him made his heart beat a little harder, and when he picked the phone up to see his name he couldn't stop the flicker of excitement that shot through him.

"Liam?"

"Zaaaaayn, you answered!" Liam shouted drunkenly over the din of people talking in the background. "Connor told me not to call because it's late, but I knew you'd answer and you did."

"Where are you?" Zayn asked, though really the only question he needed answered was who the fuck was Connor?

"I'm at Wag's," Liam told him, before lowering his voice a little to speak to someone else. Zayn strained to hear what he was saying, picking up, "Stop, your hands are cold...Connor!" followed by giggling. Fucking giggling, like whatever this Connor dick had just said was the funniest thing Liam had ever heard.

Zayn was on his feet a second later, sleep long forgotten as he started to pace the room. "Liam, I think you need to go home."

"Connor just said the same thing! He even said he'd take me. Oh, he says I should hang up. I don't think he likes me talking to you. Wants all my attention on him I guess. Hey, I said okay-" Liam was cut off, the line going dead as sudden silence filled Zayn's ears. He immediately hit the _call_  button, his stomach sinking as it rang and rang. 

He didn't stop to think about the million reasons why this was a bad idea, just pulled on his boots as quickly as he could before grabbing his coat and heading out the door. The bar was just a few blocks from his house, and he wondered if Liam had chosen it on purpose, knowing that Zayn wouldn't be able to resist coming for him if he knew Liam was there.

Zayn spotted Liam as soon as he walked inside, running a hand through his hair to brush the snow off of it as he looked from Liam to the man next to him, who was wearing a suit and standing way too fucking close. Zayn noted the man's hand on Liam's waist, and the way he smiled at him, and he didn't like it, not one fucking bit. But Liam seemed to, basking in the attention like a flower in the sun.

Liam turned his head to the side as he giggled at something the asshole was whispering into his ear, his eyes crinkling into slits before widening dramatically as he spotted Zayn. Zayn strode towards him, expecting him to meet him halfway. But Liam stayed where he was, sliding an arm around the stranger's shoulders as Zayn came to a stop in front of him.

"I knew you'd come," Liam said happily.

"Yeah," Zayn said, suddenly feeling very stupid standing there in his sweatpants as his eyes flitted from Liam's smile to the hand sliding up and down his side. "You sounded like you needed me, so..."

Liam turned his head to the side to look at the man who was still fucking touching him, obviously not realizing that Zayn was about three seconds away from breaking every one of his goddamn fingers. 

"Connor, this is Zayn. He's got a girlfriend named Clark that he loves very, _very_ much and never ever wants to break up with. Zayn, this is my new friend Connor. He doesn't have a girlfriend. Actually, I don't think he even likes girls. Do you, Connor?"

Connor - that had to be the stupidest fucking name Zayn had ever heard, so it went perfectly with his stupid fucking beard and his stupid fucking brown hair flopping down over one eye - shrugged. "He's not wrong," he murmured in agreement, his hand creeping under the hem of Liam's shirt, and no fucking way was Zayn just going to stand there and watch this happen. 

"Come on," he said, taking the half-filled glass out of Liam's hand and setting it on the bar. "We're going home," he ordered, his tone leaving little room for argument as he grabbed Liam's hand and pulled him away from Connor.

"Hey," Connor called, taking a hold of Liam's arm and pulling him back. "I don't think Liam's quite ready to leave yet. He still needs to finish his drink."

Zayn took a step forward, crowding into Connor's space. "You don't know what Liam needs," he said through gritted teeth.

Connor cocked his head to the side, smirking as he looked over at Liam. "I think he was just about to tell me when you showed up."

"Ooooooh," Liam crowed delightedly. "Careful Connor. Don't want to piss this one off. He shot a man once, you know. Not very well though, 'cause he's a terrible shot. Aren't you, Zayn? Copper copper crime stopper," he sang, picking up his drink and bringing it to his lips.

Zayn snatched it away and downed it in one gulp before slamming it down on the bar. "You've had enough. And we're leaving."

He didn't give Connor the chance to argue this time, positioning himself between him and Liam as he propelled Liam towards the door. 

"Bye Connor," Liam yelled over Zayn's shoulder. "Call me!"

Zayn flinched but didn't stop walking until they were out the door, the shock of cold air that met them making his muscles tense as he watched Liam struggle to find the right arm hole in his coat.

"Jesus, how drunk are you?" he asked as he reached out to help him put it on. Liam leaned into him, letting Zayn do all the work as he rested his forehead on Zayn's shoulder. Zayn took a step back so that he could zip up his jacket, his hands lingering a little longer than necessary as he flipped the collar of Liam's coat up, more as an excuse to keep touching him than as a precaution against the cold.

"You've got snow in your eyelashes," Liam said softly, bringing a hand up to brush a snowflake off of Zayn's cheek. "You're so pretty."

Zayn rolled his eyes. "You need to go home, and sober up."

Liam shook his head, plump lower lip popping out. "Don't wanna go home. Wanna stay here, lookin' at you."

"We're going home, even if I have to drag you the entire way," he insisted, grabbing Liam's hand as he started to walk.

But Liam followed eagerly, skipping beside him as he tangled his fingers with Zayn's. Zayn let him, but only because he was pretty sure Liam was too drunk to walk in a straight line on his own.

"So, when you say _we_ , that means you too, right? Like you and me, going to the same place? Together?"

"I'm taking you to your house, Liam, yes."

Liam tugged Zayn closer, until they were touching from their shoulders to the tips of their fingers. "And then you're staying? Like, for the whole night? I really think you should. This snow's like, hazardous."

Zayn ignored him, still thinking about Connor. "Did you really give that prick your number?" he demanded hotly, looking over at Liam to see a slow smile spread across his face as he nodded.

"I think he likes me. You know who else likes me, Zayn?"

"No, but I'm sure you're gonna tell me."

Liam stopped walking abruptly, causing Zayn's shoulder to nearly jerk out of its socket as Liam pulled him back towards him. 

"You. You like me. You told me so yourself."

Zayn groaned. "I said I _might_ like you, and I was wrong. You're terrible. The worst, really. Probably the last person on earth I'd ever like," Zayn lied.

"Nooooo," Liam said, shaking his head from side to side as he grinned at Zayn. "You like me. You said you can't stop thinking about me. You probably write Zayn Payne in your notebook and used one of those computer thingies to see what our kids are gonna look like. Come on, Zayn, admit it. Admit that you wanna marry me and have my babies."

"You are such a loser," Zayn laughed. "You're the one who probably does that shit. Now come on, it's fucking freezing."

But Liam didn't budge, the teasing smile fading from his face as he stared intently at Zayn. "Say it, Zayn. Say that you like me," he begged, backing Zayn up slowly until his back was pressed against a cold brick wall. "I need to know I'm not the only one feeling this way."

Zayn swallowed. The snow was falling harder now, cocooning them in sheets of white, cutting them off from the rest of the world. It felt that way to Zayn; like they were the only people on earth that mattered. It was a nice thought, not having to worry about Clark or Connor, or his sisters, or anyone who wasn't Liam. It made him want more. More of just him and Liam and Liam and him. 

It was the wanting that made him speak.

"You're not the only one," he admitted quietly, licking his lips as Liam leaned in closer. "I feel it too."

Liam paused, his lips only centimeters away from Zayn's. "It's a damn shame I can't kiss you right now," he murmured, tracing his thumb along Zayn's cheekbone before stepping away unexpectedly.

Liam let go of his hand and started walking away, leaving Zayn standing frozen in place as he realized that Liam really wasn't going to kiss him. He'd been so sure that Liam was just as unable to resist him as he was to resist Liam, but he'd been wrong. He scrambled to catch up to him, still wanting to make sure that he got home safely even though he suddenly seemed a lot less drunk.

They didn't speak the rest of the way there, and Liam never reached for Zayn's hand, but the never ending tension was still there, pulsing between them with every step. Zayn itched to touch him, to grab his hand and pull him close so that they could kiss and kiss and kiss, until all the snow melted around them because that was how hot kissing Liam was. 

But he didn't, keeping his hands to himself as he tried to think of the perfect thing to say that would magically make everything better. In the end it was Liam who had the magic words, a whispered "Fuck it," the only warning Zayn got before Liam's lips were on his.

He pressed Zayn against the side of the garage as he fumbled with his keys, his lips never fully leaving Zayn's skin even as he spoke. "One night. I'm giving you one night, so that you can see how good it can be."

"One night," Zayn agreed immediately, his hands finding their way under Liam's coat and sweater, needing to touch his bare skin. They kissed and caressed their way through the garage and up the stairs, bumping into walls and tripping over discarded clothes, leaving a trail of coats and shoes and jeans behind them.

Zayn had never seen someone undress as quickly as Liam did, and by the time they'd closed the door to his apartment he was only wearing a pair of white boxers briefs that were perfectly showcasing how turned on he was. 

"You're wearing too many clothes," he told Zayn, motioning to the sweater and sweats Zayn still had on.

"So are you," Zayn breathed.

Liam smirked, his eyes never leaving Zayn's as he hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his boxers and pulled them down. The next thing Zayn knew Liam was walking towards him, and he was probably still fucking smirking, but Zayn couldn't be sure since he couldn't take his eyes off of Liam's body. His thighs were paler than the rest of him, but looked thick and strong, and Zayn wanted to kiss every inch of them. But that would have to wait, because there was another part of Liam that Zayn was dying to get his mouth on first.

"What do you want to do?" Liam asked him, coming to a stop in front of Zayn as he reached down to stroke himself. 

Zayn's eyes followed the movement, and his answer was out of mouth before he'd consciously known what he was going to say. "I want to suck you off."

Liam's breath hitched. "Have you ever...?"

"No," Zayn said, shaking his head. "And I'll probably be shit at it, but I really, really want to give it a try. If you want me to," he added, finally looking at Liam's face again.

"Oh, I want you to," Liam assured him. 

That was all it took for Zayn to drop to his knees, eager to get started before he got too nervous and talked himself out of doing this. He reached a tentative hand up, wrapping his fingers around Liam and stroking him slowly. The angle was obviously different from what he was used to, but he knew how to use his hand to make a cock feel good, and he did just that, pumping Liam from base to tip as he worked up the nerve to wrap his mouth around him. 

In the end it wasn't nerve that made him do it, but need. He could see Liam's tip leaking more and more whenever he pulled his foreskin back, and he just had to taste it. He stilled his hand as he scooted closer, leaning in to flick his tongue across Liam's slit. Liam tasted good on his tongue, and Zayn wanted more. 

He flattened his tongue to lick over the head of Liam's cock properly, before opening his mouth and wrapping his lips around his tip. Liam groaned as Zayn swirled his tongue around him, sucking him a bit farther into his mouth as he continued to stroke the rest of him with his hand. Zayn's lips were stretched wide, Liam hot and heavy on his tongue as he attempted to bob his head, wanting more of Liam in his mouth.

"Feels so good, Zayn," Liam moaned, sliding his hands into Zayn's hair, not to guide him, but just to let him know he was thinking about him. Zayn wanted to make him moan again, so he moved farther forward this time, not stopping until Liam hit the back of his throat. It made his eyes water, but he forced himself to stay still, allowing his throat to clench around Liam's tip as Liam swore above him. 

"Fuck, Zayn, you're such a good boy for me. You know how many times I've thought about this? About my cock in your pretty little mouth, my come leaking on your tongue?"

Zayn moaned at his words, causing Liam's cock to pulse in his mouth. And then he moaned again, just because he could tell that Liam liked it. Liam rewarded him with a loud moan of his own and Zayn slid his hand into his sweatpants, unable to resist touching himself when Liam was making those sounds.

Liam tugged on his hair and Zayn looked up at him, taking in his swollen red lips and dark eyes. "No touching," he ordered, forcefully enough that Zayn moved his hand out of his pants at once. "I'm the only one who gets to get you off tonight," he added, and yeah, Zayn liked the sound of that.

In fact Zayn couldn't wait to get to that portion of the evening's entertainment, so he sucked Liam down harder, reaching his free hand up to cup his balls the way he liked. He felt them tighten under his fingertips and knew Liam was close, his ab muscles rippling as Zayn looked up at him. 

Liam's hand tightened in his hair, his voice tight with restraint as he groaned out, "I'm so close, Zayn. You need to stop if you don't want..." 

He didn't get to finish his thought because Zayn did want. He wanted everything Liam had to give him, so he pulled off of Liam and stroked him off more quickly, his tongue pressed to the underside of Liam's cock as he waited. Liam didn't make him wait for long, spilling onto Zayn's tongue in streaks of white that dripped down Zayn's lips and chin as he tried to swallow as much of him as he could, finally wrapping his mouth around Liam's tip to make sure that he didn't miss any more.

Liam pulled him off and hauled him to his feet as soon as he'd finished coming, lifting Zayn up as he kissed him square on the mouth. Zayn wrapped his legs around Liam's waist, rutting against him shamelessly, his own need the only thing he could think of now that he'd gotten Liam off.

"That was fucking amazing," Liam told him as he kissed his neck and walked them into his bedroom. "You're amazing," he added, tossing Zayn onto the bed. He climbed on after him, sliding his hands under Zayn's sweater to take it off before sitting up quickly, his hands still gripping the soft cotton. 

"That's my sweater. And are those my sweats?" he asked with a laugh, looking down at the sweats that were indeed his.

"I was out of clean clothes," Zayn said without thinking, hoping that Liam would at least pretend not to remember seeing Zayn doing laundry only the night before. "It doesn't mean anything."

Liam's mouth twisted up in a smile. "I knew you liked me."

"Yeah well, I won't for much longer if you don't hurry up and get me off."

"Oh, don't worry, I have every intention of getting you off, again and again," he murmured, hooking his fingers into Zayn's sweats and sliding them slowly down Zayn's legs as Zayn tore his sweater off and tossed it onto the floor. Zayn's boxer briefs joined it a second later, leaving Zayn naked on Liam's bed. Liam eyed him hungrily, his cock already showing signs of interest as he looked him up and down.

He blanketed his body over Zayn's, sliding a knee in between Zayn's legs as he began to move against him. Zayn could feel him getting hard again, and the thought made him even harder. He moved his hands to Liam's hips so that he could rut against him more quickly, but Liam didn't let him, grabbing a hold of Zayn's wrists to bring his hands up to the pillow before tangling their fingers, effectively holding Zayn in place as he moved slowly against him.

Liam leaned down to kiss him then, his lips and tongue dancing to the same beat as his hips. He kissed his way down Zayn's body, pulling Zayn's hands with him as he went like he didn't want to let him go. But he finally did as he settled between Zayn's legs, his breath fanning out over Zayn's length making him twitch with need, more precome blurting out onto his stomach.

He looked up at Zayn as he licked his lips, and Zayn was sure that he'd never been harder. And then Liam was wrapping his lips around him and sliding Zayn into his mouth, and Zayn was sure that Liam Payne was an angel, and that heaven lived within his lips. Liam took him all the way to the back of his throat, not gagging even a little bit as it clenched around Zayn. He did it again, and again, his mouth sliding up to the head so that he could swirl his tongue around Zayn's tip before moving lower again, swallowing Zayn down greedily, and no, Zayn had been wrong before. Liam was the devil, his mouth hot and full of fire and sin and Zayn never wanted to stop feeling this good.

But he knew he would, and all too quickly, his orgasm racing towards him as Liam began to tease his hole with the tip of his finger. He pushed in, just the tiniest bit, but that was all it took for Zayn to lose it, coming into Liam's mouth before he'd even had the chance to warn him. Liam didn't seem to mind, sucking down every last drop as pleasure flooded Zayn's senses. 

He finally pushed Liam away, unable to take any more of his expert tongue, but Liam just moved lower, bending Zayn's legs so that he could lap at his entrance. Zayn's whole body jerked at the unfamiliar feeling, partly because he was oversensitive from coming so hard, but mainly because he'd never expected someone licking him there to feel so fucking good. 

But it did feel good, Liam switching between flicking his tongue and flattening it out so that he could lick at him properly. Zayn tried to hold still, he really did, but Liam had to help him, gripping his hip and holding him to the bed as Zayn thrashed and moaned above him, his cock growing impossibly heavy once again. 

Zayn whined when Liam pulled away, desperate to have him back between his thighs. He was about to tell him just that when he saw Liam reaching into his nightstand. He had a bottle of lube in his hand when he pulled it back out, and yeah, Zayn was really fucking okay with that. A nervous excitement ran through him as he watched Liam slick his fingers up and bring them up to Zayn's entrance before pausing.

"This okay?" he asked, his dry hand rubbing soothing circles into the silky skin of Zayn's inner thigh.

"Yeah," Zayn breathed, not certain of what was about to happen but knowing that Liam would take good care of him. That was all the encouragement Liam needed to push the tip of his middle finger past Zayn's rim. Zayn gasped at the feeling, Liam's finger a little thicker than his own as he moved it slowly in and out of Zayn, gently stretching him open. 

Zayn's whole body was trembling with want by the time Liam added a second finger, and this time the gasp he let out was due to pain. Liam seemed to understand what he was feeling without him saying a word, because he stilled his fingers and bent over Zayn, taking him into his mouth and coaxing him back to full hardness with his tongue. By the time he started to move his hand again Zayn was feeling mostly pleasure, and he ran a hand through Liam's hair, wanting to see his face as he spoke. 

"I'm ready, Li. Need you to fuck me."

Liam pulled off of him and sat back on his heels, his fingers still pumping in and out of Zayn even as he shook his head. "Oh, you're not getting all this," he murmured, reaching down to stroke himself, "until you're all mine. But don't worry, babe, I'm still gonna make you scream my name," he promised with a wink, his eyes wicked where the moonlight shone down on him as he curled his fingers to brush against the spot inside Zayn that he'd never been able to reach on his own. 

"Holy fuck, Liam," Zayn moaned, his back arching off the bed as his hands balled into fists in the sheets. Liam smirked down at him, relentlessly rubbing against Zayn's prostate, Zayn's cock pulsing with every thrust of his fingers. Zayn moved a hand to his head, tugging on his hair harshly, needing to feel pain to balance out the complete and utter bliss buzzing through his entire body. 

He knew that he was about to come again, his stamina failing him once more as Liam started to stroke him off with his other hand, but he couldn't bring himself to care, not with everything feeling so fucking good. His heart felt like it was trying to force its way out of his chest, beating along to the the steady stream of _LiamLiamLiam_ falling from his lips. 

"That's it, baby, come for me," Liam urged, twisting his palm over Zayn's tip as he massaged his spot ruthlessly. 

"Liam," Zayn moaned, reaching out for him as he started to spill over his hand, coming harder than he'd ever imagined he could, every one of his senses lit up with Liam's touch.

As soon as he'd finished Liam released him, moving up Zayn's body, holding himself up with a hand next to Zayn's head as he got a hand around himself. 

"I'm so fucking close, just from touching you," he told him, his lips red and his skin flushed. Zayn wanted to kiss him so badly, but he wanted to see him come more, so he lifted his head off of the pillow, looking down to watch as the pace of Liam's hand faltered and he began to come, hot streaks of white landing on Zayn's stomach. 

"Zayn," Liam moaned shamelessly, and Zayn did have to kiss him then, needing to taste the way his name sounded on Liam's tongue. Liam gave him what he wanted, collapsing onto his side and kissing him deeply, moaning Zayn's name into his mouth. Zayn moaned Liam's name right back, _Liam_  the only word he knew how to speak as they kissed for what seemed like hours, until Zayn's lips were swollen and sore. And then they kissed some more, because Zayn never wanted to stop.

And as they finally pulled apart, Zayn's hand coming up to take the place of Liam's mouth, pinching his lips between his fingers because he liked the reminder that he'd just been kissed harder and longer and better than he'd ever thought possible, Zayn knew that even though Liam hadn't fucked him, he was still royally screwed, because there was no fucking way this could be the only night he ever got to spend with Liam Payne.


	14. Chapter 14

_**Riding on the wind and I won't give up...  
** _

Zayn rolled onto his side and reached for Liam again, the thirty seconds since they'd last kissed feeling like thirty seconds too long. Liam seemed just as eager, sliding an arm around Zayn's side and squeezing, pulling Zayn's body against his own as their lips met. Zayn melted into it, giving himself over to the feeling of Liam's strong arms wrapped around him, and the way his mouth moved across his skin as he kissed along Zayn's jaw.

One night, he reminded himself, ignoring the way the words made his chest tighten. He slid the hand that wasn't scratching its way down Liam's back up to his face, cupping his cheek and forcing his mouth back to Zayn's, because if he was only promised this one night with Liam, he was going to make the most of it. 

Liam hummed as Zayn deepened the kiss, pushing Zayn onto his back and pinning him to the bed. They stayed like that for a few minutes, the length of Liam's body covering Zayn's as Zayn smoothed his hands up and down Liam's back, trying to memorize the way his muscles felt beneath his palms as Liam kissed the breath out of him. 

Liam pulled away suddenly, bracing himself up on his forearms as a smile spread across his face. "I've got an idea," he said, leaning forward to drop a kiss on the tip of Zayn's nose before hopping off of the bed.

"No," Zayn whined, reaching for Liam and grabbing a hold of his hand. He squeezed it tight, keeping Liam from getting farther away from him. "It's a terrible idea if it means I'm the only one in this bed."

Liam relented and took a step closer, bending down to give Zayn a quick kiss before disentangling himself. "Don't worry, I'll never be out of your sight."

And what a sight it was. Zayn watched him walk towards his dresser, enjoying the view as his eyes followed the path his hands had just taken, long, red marks trailing from Liam's broad shoulders to his trim waist, then down to the soft curve of his ass, which was bouncing slightly with every step. He was so obviously comfortable in his skin, not bothering to put on his boxers or hide the fact that he was half hard. It made Zayn want him even more, and he couldn't help but reach down to stroke himself idly. 

He caught Liam watching him in the mirror over his dresser, so he made a bit of a show of it, tossing the sheet aside and straightening his legs so that Liam could see exactly what he was doing.

Liam had his camera in his hands when he turned around, and his smile was wicked as he brought it up to his face and snapped off a quick picture.

"Liam!" Zayn yelled, grabbing for the sheet to cover himself up. 

"Don't worry, babe," Liam laughed. "Some day I'm gonna get a picture of you with your lips around my cock and my come dripping down your face, but that's not what I had in mind today," he teased him, and fuck, Zayn wouldn't have minded that one fucking bit. But Liam apparently had other plans, his lens focused on Zayn's face and nothing else as he took another picture of him.

"Stop it, I'm a mess," Zayn chided him, reaching a hand up to try to straighten his hair.

Liam climbed on top of him, his thighs bracketing Zayn's hips, the camera held away from his face. "You're perfect," he said softly, pulling Zayn's hand out of his hair and gazing down at him. "Wanna remember you just like this, in case you choose the one night option."

Zayn felt his stomach flutter as he looked up at Liam, trying to smile for the camera but unable to make his mouth move.

"What's the other option?" he asked finally, when Liam flopped down next to him, knocking their heads together and holding the camera up so that he could fit both of them in the frame.

"Every night," Liam said casually, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Like Zayn could just snap his fingers and make that a reality. He didn't have much time to dwell on it - the possibility of spending all his nights just like this - because then they were kissing again, the click of the camera sounding very far away as Zayn lost himself in Liam's lips and touch and words. 

 _Every night._ It sounded a hell of a lot better to Zayn than one night did, the idea that he could spend an eternity in Liam's arms making it a little hard for Zayn to breathe.

He pulled away from him, taking in the flush in his cheeks and the crinkles by his eyes and the round tip of his nose. He smiled at Zayn, his cheeks puffing up, turning his eyes into crescent moons, and Zayn just had to smile back. Liam looked so sleepy, his blinks lasting longer and longer, but seemed just as unwilling as Zayn to go to sleep and waste the rest of the night. 

Their only night together.

Zayn's heart clenched, aching with want and need and the knowledge that he was one step away from giving himself over to Liam completely. He knew that he couldn't let himself fall any harder for him, the way he felt about him already verging on desperate. His feelings for Liam had the potential to be devastating, if they weren't returned or if Liam ever decided that he didn't want him anymore. 

He was standing next to the bed and pulling on his boxer briefs before he'd even made the conscious decision to move. He watched as Liam sat up in alarm and willed his breathing to slow down, not wanting to ruin what had been a perfect night all because his stupid, traitorous heart didn't seem to understand that liking Liam was a dangerous thing; something that needed to be contained. 

"You're leaving?" Liam asked, his face falling. 

"No," Zayn said quickly, wanting nothing more than for Liam to start smiling again. "I'm just, um, really thirsty. You mind if I get some water?"

Liam smiled softly, just the way Zayn had hoped he would. "You can have whatever you want, babe. What's mine is yours."

Zayn swallowed, biting his lip to hold in all of the things he wanted to say to him. He made his way into the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge, his hands shaking a bit as he twisted off the cap. He leaned against the counter and took a long swallow, moonlight from the only window spilling into the room, letting him see that, like the rest of the apartment, the kitchen was clean and sparsely decorated. He took another drink and pushed himself away from the counter, turning to look at the bare refrigerator door as he tried to control the whirlwind of emotions inside of him. Where every inch of Zayn's fridge was covered, with school pictures and family photos and Safaa's drawings and magnets they'd been collecting for as long as Zayn could remember, Liam's was completely blank.

Zayn walked through the living room next, noticing for the first time how impersonal everything was, not a single photo of his family or friends anywhere to be found. Liam's house was the exact opposite of Zayn's, where everything was messy and chaotic and loud, quiet moments few and far between. Zayn wondered if that was why Liam was always finding reasons to stop by, since the alternative was to spend his time in this empty apartment. The thought made his heart ache.

Zayn's heart ached for a lot of other reasons in that moment as well. He was already dreading the time when he would have to leave Liam's side and get back to the real world. He knew that he'd rather spend the next week in Liam's bed, letting one night stretch into two then three then more. More and more and more, until the rest of the world was forgotten and Zayn had no choice but to go with the every night option, which deep down he was pretty sure was the only one he wanted anyway.

He headed back into the bedroom, suddenly missing Liam even though he was only a room away. He wanted nothing more than to climb back into bed with him, and to kiss him until he could make him see that Zayn was giving him all he knew how to give.

But he didn't get the chance, Liam already out of bed, his sweats slung low on his hips as he stood next to the window, his back to Zayn. 

Zayn could tell from the square set of Liam's shoulders that something was wrong, and he tossed the water bottles onto the bed before walking to him, sliding his hands around Liam's waist, wanting to hold him as close as possible. 

"Everything okay?" he murmured into his shoulder, placing a lingering kiss on the nape of his neck. He felt Liam tense under his lips, and a second later Liam was pushing out of his grasp. He turned around to face Zayn, his features hard as he held a phone up between them. 

Zayn's phone.

"What the hell are you doing with my phone?" Zayn demanded, snatching it out of Liam's hand.

"What the hell are you doing texting _her_ ten times a day?" Liam demanded right back.

Zayn held his hands up in the hair, exasperated. "She's my girlfriend, Liam. What did you expect?"

"I expected you to be, I don't know, letting her down easy or something. I didn't think I'd see you telling her you loved her every night and sending her fucking heart eyes emojis every time she sends you a selfie. Fuck," he swore, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Zayn felt every ounce of anger drain out of him. He didn't want to talk about Clark, guilt making his stomach clench whenever thoughts of her crept in. He hated what he was doing to her and what he was doing to Liam, and he hated himself for not being able to stop hurting them both.

"Seven years, Liam," he said softly. "I've been with her for seven years. I can't just throw that away on someone I've known for like seven weeks. She's my entire past."

"And I could be your future!" Liam shouted.

Zayn didn't know what to say to that, Liam's words striking him silent, so he didn't say anything at all, just moved to Liam and grabbed his face and kissed him, as hard as he could. He poured everything he had into the kiss, trying to show Liam all that he couldn't tell him, wanting him to know that he liked him and wanted him, wanted him in his present and his future, but that he was scared. Scared to lose Clark and scared to fall in love and scared to give Liam the chance to hurt him.

But he must not have been showing him enough, because Liam wrenched his hands off of his face and pulled away from him, moving to sit on the edge of the bed, not looking at Zayn as he propped his elbows on his knees and dropped his head into his hands. 

"What is it about her, that makes you choose her over me every time?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Zayn rubbed his chest, pressing absentmindedly against his fading bruise as he tried to think of the best way to put his thoughts into words. "When my parents died, everything changed," he began, his voice shaky. "We had to move out of the house I'd grown up in, and I had to give up on going to the college I'd wanted to go to since I was a little kid. I mean, fuck, even my sisters didn't feel like my sisters anymore, since now I had to take care of them. Clark's the only thing that didn't change; the only relationship that stayed the same," he told him, sitting down next to him on the bed, not close enough that they were touching, but almost.

"She knows what I was like before the accident, and she sees how much I've changed, and she loves me anyway. She puts up with all my bullshit, like how I've never come to visit her because I can't stand the thought of driving by where they died, or of seeing her having fun at college and living the life I couldn't have. If I lose her, it means that the accident ruined everything, and I can't let that happen."

Liam stood up abruptly, wiping his hands off on his sweatpants. "Listen, I was wrong. I thought I could do this, have one night to show you what it could be like, but I was wrong. I need you to go."

Zayn jumped to his feet, reaching for him, needing him to understand that just because he needed Clark it didn't mean that he didn't want him. "Liam, please. I just need some time, to figure out how to-"

He didn't get the chance to finish, Liam twisting out of his grasp and cutting him off with a hurried, "I need you to leave, Zayn. Now."

Zayn nodded slowly and started to get dressed, resigning himself to the fact that he had to go, even though every cell in his body was screaming for him to stay, to grab Liam and make him see that he was never second best, not to Zayn. But he didn't, instead pausing in the doorway to look at Liam as he stood gazing out the window.

"I'm sorry," he told his back. "I'm sorry for everything."

Liam didn't turn around, just dropped his chin to his chest, and Zayn knew that this would be the image from this night that would forever be burned into his mind. Not the kisses or the smiles or the sex, but Liam, asking him to leave. Liam, unable to stand the sight of him. 

He let himself out of the apartment, knowing that he deserved the pain radiating through him. He walked home slowly, and he didn't bother to take off his coat or kick off his boots when he got there, just headed for the sofa and sank down, knowing that sleep was an impossibility when his insides were all twisted up like this.

He was still sitting like that when Doniya got up the next morning. She took in the bags under his eyes and the frown on his face and sighed, instinctively knowing that something must have happened with Liam, and that it had to be all Zayn's fault. "You really are the stupidest, most stubborn person I've ever met."

Zayn couldn't disagree.

***

He tried texting and calling Liam countless times over the next few days, but Liam never answered. By Wednesday he'd just about made up his mind to go to Liam's house, ready to camp out on his doorstep until Liam was willing to talk to him. He'd pretty much given up hope of Liam ever reaching out to him again, which was why he was surprised to see his name pop up on his screen as he walked home from his favorite Chinese restaurant. 

He'd just gotten off of a long shift and was completely exhausted, but that didn't stop his heart from beating a little harder as he shifted the carryout bags into one hand and answered the call.

"Liam?" he asked hopefully.

"Zayn?" Liam was shouting, but Zayn was still barely able to hear him over the sirens blaring in the background. "Zayn, I need you to stay calm."

Zayn stopped walking, his feet no longer working as dread flowed through him. "What is it? What's happened?" he asked.

"There's a fire," he said, just as Zayn realized that he wasn't only hearing sirens through the phone, that the wailing noise was also coming from down the street. Zayn looked up, his heart stopping as he caught sight of the thick plume of black smoke creeping above the skyline. "It's at your building, but-"

"Liam," he cut him off frantically as he dropped his bags and started to run, clutching the phone to his ear, needing Liam to hear him. "Saf and Liyha are there. Liam, they're all alone."

"I'll get them out, Zayn."

"Liam, please," he begged, his voice cracking.

Liam's voice was steady when he next spoke, his words giving Zayn the only hint of comfort he could hope to have in that moment. "I'll keep them safe, Zayn, I promise."

That was the last thing Zayn heard as he dropped his phone to his side so that he could run faster, needing to get to his sisters. He cursed himself for stopping for carryout, having known that the long line would mean that Waliyha and Safaa would be all alone after Doniya had left for work. He pushed his legs to move faster, his heart in his throat as he turned the corner, his apartment building finally coming into view.

Flames were licking up the side of the building, smoke pouring from a busted out window, blackening the sky and darkening Zayn's heart as he realized that it was coming from his apartment, the smoldering remains of their stockings on the fire escape clearly visible.

Zayn shot forward, trying to push past the hasty barricade that had been set up only to be met by a pair of hands holding him back. "Let me in!" he yelled, struggling out of the stranger's grasp. "My sisters are in there!"

"Let him through, he's a cop," someone called, probably having recognized him from one of their games. Zayn didn't spare a glance in their direction, his eyes locked on the entrance to the building as Harry carried a kicking and screaming Waliyha outside. 

"Safaa!" she shouted as he set her on her feet, trying to push past him to get back into the building. "You have to let me get her!"

Zayn rushed to her side, grabbing her shoulders and spinning her around so that he could get a good look at her, needing to make sure she was okay. Tears were streaming down her face, forming tracks through the soot smudging her cheeks. She fell into his arms, hissing as the burn on her arm came into contact with his coat. 

"Where's Saf?" he asked, his eyes searching the crowd for her, hoping desperately to see her even though he knew in his heart that she was still inside.

"She was in the kitchen, feeding Benjamin," she cried. "I tried to get to her, Zayn, I did, but the fire spread so fast, and the ceiling fell in-"

Zayn didn't wait to hear the rest, pulling away from her and darting to the front door. Harry grabbed him before he could make it inside, yanking him backwards.

"You can't go in there, Zayn," he said, shouting to be heard over the sirens blaring and the rush of water pumping out of the hoses and Waliyha's sobs and the blood rushing in his ears.

"I have to- my sister. My sister's still in there!" he yelled, twisting out of Harry's grasp only to be held back by someone else.

"Liam's in there," Harry told him, his hand coming down on Zayn's shoulder as he leaned in close. "He'll get her out."

Liam. Liam and Safaa, inside a burning building. Zayn's heart was a graveyard, his mind a war zone, at the thought of anything happening to them. He went back to Waliyha, wrapping an arm around her shoulder as his heart thundered in his chest, praying to a God he didn't believe in to keep everyone he loved safe. 

After what felt like hours but was probably only minutes, every second without Safaa and Liam in his sight seeming infinite, three firefighters streamed from the front door, shouting for a paramedic. Suddenly the only thing Zayn could feel was his heart clenching in his chest, his entire body going numb as Liam walked through the entrance, holding Safaa's limp body in his arms.

Zayn was at their sides in an instant, his eyes wet and his hands shaking as he took her from Liam. She was heavy in his arms, the same way she was when she fell asleep on the couch and he had to carry her to bed, like a dead weight. He looked up at Liam, opening his mouth to speak but unable to get the words out.

"She's okay," Liam told him quickly, his voice scratchy with smoke as he gently pulled his mask off of Safaa's face. "She's got a pretty bad bump on her head and will probably have a concussion, but she's going to be okay."

Zayn shifted her, bringing her face to his so that he could kiss her forehead, just next to the bruise on her temple. "You're okay," he whispered as his tears finally escaped. "You're okay, Saf."

A female paramedic ran up to them with a gurney, and Zayn set her down on it gently, never letting go of her hand as they put an oxygen mask over her face and started wheeling her towards the ambulance. He helped Waliyha in after her before turning back to look at Liam. He was watching them, sweat dripping down his soot-covered face as he shrugged out of his jacket and dropped it to the ground.

He looked as exhausted as Zayn felt, making Zayn's heart stutter as he realized that Liam had just put his life on the line to save his sisters. Zayn ran towards him, not knowing if Liam wanted to be near him but needing to hug him anyway. He flung himself against him, sighing in relief when Liam wrapped his arms around him at once.

"Thank you, Liam. Thank you for saving them," he whispered into his neck. 

Liam squeezed him a little tighter, lifting Zayn's feet off of the ground with the force of his hug. Zayn wished that they could stay like that forever, ignoring the cops and firefighters rushing past them in favor of focusing only on each other. But all too soon Liam was setting him back on his feet, and Zayn was jogging back to the ambulance, looking back at Liam once more before the door shut between them, blocking him from sight.

He reached one hand out to Safaa, enclosing her tiny hand in his larger one as he held the other out to Waliyha. She took it gratefully, and they sat like that for the entire ride to the hospital, not speaking a word because there was too much to say.

Waliyha had to head to the emergency room when they arrived at the hospital, but Zayn stayed with Safaa, only leaving her side when they forced him from the room so that they could give her a cat scan and x-ray her lungs. He used the time to run and check on Waliyha, and Doniya was just arriving when he made it back to Safaa's room. The doctors had just finished running her tests, so they waited together for the results. 

Waliyha had been released by the time they came, her arm tightly bandaged but otherwise unharmed. Zayn jumped to his feet when the doctor walked into the room, all traces of tiredness vanishing as he waited to hear what was wrong with Safaa.

"Is she okay? Why hasn't she woken up yet?"

"She's fine," she assured him, her words a soothing balm to his soul. "She's got quite the bump on her head and may have reoccurring headaches over the next few weeks, but we expect her to have a full recovery." 

"And the smoke?" Doniya asked. "Did it damage her lungs?"

The doctor shook her head. "Her lungs looked remarkably clear. It would have been a lot worse if the fireman who pulled her out hadn't broken protocol and given her his mask."

Zayn's chest tightened as Liam's face flashed in his mind. He sat back down, picking up Safaa's hand as he dropped his head onto the bed, needing sleep but unwilling to let her out of his sight. 

He had to an hour later, when Niall stopped by, knocking softly on the door and motioning for Zayn to follow him. 

"How is she?" he asked as Zayn stepped out into the hallway.

Zayn sighed, letting Niall lead him downstairs to the cafeteria. "The doctor says she's going to be alright. She still hasn't woken up though," he added, worry coursing through him once more.

Niall patted him on the back. "I'm sure she'll be okay. The doctors here know what they're doing."

Zayn nodded, hoping he was right. "Have you been to the apartment?"

"Just left. Most of the damage was contained to the kitchen, but you're not going to be able to stay there until the ceiling and walls are repaired."

Zayn took a sip of the coffee that Niall handed him, trying not to think about where they were going to stay or how they would pay for the repairs. His family was safe. That was all that mattered. They'd figure something out for the rest of it. They always did.

The room was dark when Zayn made it back upstairs, and he paused in the doorway when he realized that his sisters weren't alone. Liam was there, placing a blanket over Doniya's sleeping form before walking to Safaa's bedside. He brushed a stray hair out of her face and sat down in the chair that Zayn had been in before, his head cocked to the side as he watched her, like he was making sure that she was safe. 

He must have sensed Zayn watching him, because he turned to face him, his face lighting up with a shy smile when he spotted him. Zayn felt something bloom within him, starting in his chest and spreading out from there, until it was all he could feel.

He let out a deep breath, awareness overtaking him as he tried to return Liam's smile and failed. 

He was pretty sure he was a little bit in love (maybe he had been for a while). And he was one hundred percent certain that it was all Liam Payne's fault.


	15. Chapter 15

_**I roll and I roll 'til I change my luck...** _

Zayn didn't know what to do. He felt like the world had been turned on its side, and that up was now down, forward was backwards, Liam wasn't actually an asshole and Zayn was kinda, sorta in love with him. The way Liam smiled at him told him that their fight from a few days before had been mostly forgotten, but even from across the room Zayn could feel the tension between them.

He ached to kiss him.

"Hey," Liam said softly as he got to his feet and slowly closed the distance between them until he was standing next to Zayn in the doorway.

"Hey," Zayn replied, suddenly feeling very shy as he stepped farther out into the hallway, not wanting to wake his sisters. Liam followed him, shutting the door quietly behind him. It felt dangerous to be alone with him, like now that Zayn'd realized how much he liked him he might have even less self-control than before.

He felt immensely uncomfortable, completely unsure of himself for the first time since he'd met Liam. He was also minutely aware of each of Liam's movements; the uneasy set of his shoulders and the way he shoved his hands into his pockets as he leaned back against the wall revealing that he felt just as unsteady as Zayn did.

"You good?" Liam asked, his voice still soft despite the fact that they were alone. Most of the lights lining the ceiling had been turned off due to the late hour, but Liam's features were still visible, his concern evident.

"Man, I don't know what I am, but good's not it," Zayn admitted, running a hand through his hair and trying not to picture the way Safaa had looked when Liam had carried her out of the building.

"But- she's okay, right?" Liam asked, pushing away from the wall. "I asked the nurses, and they said- she's gonna be fine, right?"

Zayn nodded quickly. "She'll be okay. I just thought...when I saw you carrying her, for a second I thought-" Zayn stopped, unable to speak the words aloud.

"She's okay," Liam murmured, reaching out to pat Zayn's shoulder. The touch was awkward, like Liam wasn't sure whether he was supposed to be touching him, but Zayn melted into it anyway. Liam let him, opening his arms and pulling him into a hug before smoothing his hands up and down Zayn's back. "I got her out."

Zayn wrapped his arms around Liam's waist as he turned his head, mumbling his next words into his neck. "You said you would and you did."

Liam squeezed him a little tighter at that, and suddenly Zayn was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by all that had happened that day, and by everything he felt for Liam. He didn't have the words to express his gratitude, so he showed Liam how thankful he was in another way: with a kiss.

He pulled back enough to reach up to cup Liam's face, his thumbs sweeping along his cheeks as he leaned in. It was just a soft, comfortable slide of lips together, mouths meeting in a gentle press as Zayn felt some of the tension he'd been carrying for days drift away. He kept the kiss light even as he slid his hands down to clutch at the back of Liam's shirt, trying to show him that he wasn't kissing him because he wanted him but because he was incredible, and because he was safe. He didn't deepen the kiss - though he wanted to, desperately - and Liam didn't either. In fact he did the opposite, only letting Zayn kiss him for a few seconds before he was pulling back and looking away from him.

"You can't be doing that, Zayn."

Zayn self-consciously brought a hand up to his lips, tracing his fingers over where Liam's mouth had just been. He hadn't meant to kiss him. He hadn't meant for any of this to happen. "I know, I'm sorry. I was just...I was worried about you too. You weren't supposed to take off your mask," he added with a light shove to Liam's shoulder.

Liam shrugged, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "It was Safaa."

Zayn felt something loosen inside of him, making it a little harder to breathe. "Are you still mad at me?"

"Did you break up with her?" he asked immediately, to which Zayn gave a slight shake of his head. "Then I'm still mad at you."

Zayn looked down at the floor, only to see Liam reach out to grasp the bottom of his sweatshirt, tugging it gently to get Zayn to look up at him.

"But mostly I'm just glad you're okay. When I found out where the fire was, before I got you on the phone, fuck Zayn, I was so scared," he admitted in a whisper, fisting his hand in Zayn's shirt, pulling him a little bit closer. "It was just as bad as when I heard the officer down call, and goddammit, you really have the worst luck in the world."

Zayn knew that he was right, but in that moment, with his sisters all safe and Liam standing in front of him, it didn't feel entirely true. "Not always," he murmured, his eyes never leaving Liam's face. Liam looked away, but Zayn didn't miss the faint blush spreading over his cheeks.

"How's your apartment?" Liam asked, clearing his throat as he let go of Zayn's shirt and took a small step back, breaking the moment.

Zayn scrubbed his hand over his face. "The kitchen's basically fucked, so we won't be able to stay there until it's repaired, but it could've been a lot worse."

"Where are you going to go?"

"I'm not sure," Zayn started hesitantly, before pausing. "We might...we could probably stay with Clark's parents, but-"

Liam didn't give him the chance to finish, interrupting him with a rushed, "You can stay at my place."

Zayn looked at him for a long moment before answering, wishing with everything he had that he could take him up on the offer. "That's really cool of you, and I'd much rather do that, but I want all of us to stay together," he said, motioning towards Safaa's room.

"No, I know. I meant all of you. I know my place isn't big, but I've got a guest bedroom and a pull-out couch. It's not ideal, but we could make it work," Liam said, and great, every word that came out of his mouth just made Zayn like him more and more.

Not that he was going to let Liam know that.

"Like one bedroom for the girls and one for the boys?" he asked, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

Liam grinned coyly as he held his hands up, his palms facing Zayn. "Hey, I can keep my hands to myself, but if you don't think you can..."

"Me?" Zayn smirked. "I'm like, the master of self-control."

"Then it shouldn't be an issue, right?" Liam asked, taking a step closer. "Us sharing a room."

"It's not an issue for me," Zayn agreed, leaning back against the wall, his side only inches away from Liam's front. "You can even sleep naked, if you want. _I_ won't be the one who's tempted."

Liam cocked his head to the side as he rested his shoulder on the wall, crowding closer. "I know you're probably thinking that I barely lasted a day the last time I said I was going to stay away from you, but things are different now."

"Really?" Zayn prodded, arching a skeptical eyebrow.

"Really," Liam said haughtily, looking Zayn up and down. "Your looks have really gone downhill over the past few days."

Zayn bit back a laugh, kicking his foot forward to nudge against Liam's sneaker. "Well, I'm actually really glad you said that, because I feel the same way. Doubt I could even get it up for you now."

Liam narrowed his eyes, his lips puckering slightly. "That sounds an awful lot like you're trying to bait me into a challenge," he said slowly.

"Who me?" Zayn asked, keeping his eyes wide and innocent as he brought a hand up to his heart and stepped to his left, eliminating most of the space between them.

Liam raised his hand to trail a finger along the neckline of Zayn's shirt, his movements slow as he leaned in a fraction. "Don't start something you can't finish, Malik," he murmured, his voice barely a whisper.

Zayn closed his eyes, knowing that if he had to look at Liam's lips for another second that he'd lose what little willpower he had and kiss him again. He opened his mouth to reply but didn't get the chance as he heard his name called from the other side of the thick wooden door. Liam jumped back, allowing him to open it hurriedly to see Doniya and Waliyha standing next to Safaa's bed. And there was Safaa, looking worn out and a little scared but finally awake.

He smiled brightly as he rushed forward to take her hand, bending down to give her a light kiss on the top of her head. "How're you, sweets? You had us so worried."

Tears immediately welled in Safaa's eyes. "Everything was on fire, and I couldn't get Bensamin out. I was so scared and then all this stuff fell on me and I was calling for you, Zayn."

Zayn stiffened, suddenly feeling very cold. Liam must have seen the way her words were affecting him, because he placed a gentle hand on the small of Zayn's back, walking his fingers across it until he reached Zayn's waist, which he squeezed reassuringly.

"I know, Saf, I'm so sorry. I tried to come-"

"But he'd already talked to me, and he made me promise that I'd keep you safe," Liam interrupted, just as Zayn's voice started to crack.

"Did you save me, Mr. Liam?" she asked, her blue eyes wide as she looked up at him.

Liam smiled. "Course. I had to rescue my best girl."

Safaa turned her head to look at Zayn, a small smile on her sweet little face that Zayn couldn't help but return.

"I told you I was his favorite," she told him sleepily.

Zayn considered correcting her, but decided that he'd let it slide until she was feeling better. He shot Liam a look to let him know that he knew the truth, but Liam just rolled his eyes before smiling down at Safaa. "You're definitely my favorite, Saf," he told her, just as her smile was replaced by a yawn.

"Where's Bensamin?"

"He- she's safe. She's gonna stay at Liam's for a few days," Zayn told her.

"Okay," she said, nodding her head solemnly. "She likes Mr. Liam. Can I go back to sleep now?"

Doniya nodded, smoothing her hand over Safaa's shoulder. "Sure honey, just let me get the doctor so they can take a look at you first, 'kay?"

Liam said his goodbyes when the doctor came in, nudging Zayn with his shoulder on his way out the door as a quiet, "See you later," fell from his lips.

Not quiet enough, apparently, if the way his sisters were looking at him was anything to go by. "What?" he asked. "Liam said we could all stay at his place. It's not a big deal," he added, though it felt like a very, very big deal to Zayn.

Waliyha scrunched her face up in disgust and turned to Doniya. "Remind me to pack my headphones. I don't want to hear _anything_ they're gonna get up to."

"And maybe bring some loud music to play."

"The louder the better," Waliyha agreed.

"You two are even more ridiculous than Liam, you know that?" Zayn muttered, only to be met by derisive laughter.

The doctor declared that Safaa seemed to be doing well but that she wanted to keep her at least one more night for observation. Doniya went home to finally change out of her uniform, and when she got back a few hours later she looked a lot better rested.

"I packed you both a bag," she said, tossing a duffel bag and a backpack onto the floor next to Zayn's feet. "I don't mind staying here tonight, if you want to go get some rest."

Zayn shook his head. "No, I'm staying too."

Doniya rubbed her forehead, just above her eyebrow, the way she always did when she was stressed. "Listen, Waliyha has to go back to school tomorrow, and when's the last time you slept?"

Zayn shrugged. Sleep seemed like a pretty trivial thing when you were busy trying to rescue your sisters from a burning building and maybe, possibly falling in love with the fireman that saved them, but he couldn't deny that he was exhausted, the idea of curling up in a nice warm bed sounding like heaven.

They ended up staying until after dinner, all of them eating around Safaa's bed, a Disney movie Doniya had brought from home playing on the TV in the corner of the room. Zayn gave Safaa about a million kisses on the way out the door, and he made Doniya promise approximately the same number of times that she'd call if anything happened.

Liam didn't answer the door when Zayn knocked, but a quick turn of the knob revealed that he'd left it open for them. Zayn's eyes widened as he stepped inside. The living room looked completely different than it had the last time Zayn had been there, a Christmas tree filling the corner by the couch and six bright red stockings hanging off of the bookcase. There were a few strands of colorful lights strung up as well, giving the room a soft glow.

"That's _our_ tree," Waliyha said from behind him, but Zayn barely heard her, his eyes focused entirely on Liam, who'd just stepped out of the bathroom and was clearly visible through his open bedroom door. He was only wearing a towel, wrapped so low and hanging so loosely from his hips that Zayn wasn't entirely sure how it was staying up. He had another towel in his hand, blotting at his damp hair as he ignored the water still coating his chest and back. Zayn couldn't ignore it though. He squinted to try to follow the droplets as they raced down his chest and over his abs before disappearing into his towel.

Zayn swallowed. He knew that he should clear his throat, or say hello, anything to alert Liam to their presence, but he just needed another second to admire him first. Because there was a lot to admire, all of that bare, wet skin on display, seemingly just for Zayn. It made him wish that winter was over, so that he could see Liam out of his bulky clothes all the time. He wondered how tan his skin would get during the summer, and if he'd ever get to see it.

"Careful," Waliyha whispered into his ear, startling him. "Don't let him catch you drooling."

Zayn waved her away before purposefully slamming the door shut behind him, hoping that Liam would assume that they'd just arrived. Liam's head shot up, and Zayn expected him to make some apology and close the bedroom door, but he just smiled and took a few steps towards them, his broad shoulders filling the doorway as he rested his hands on the door frame just above his head.

 _Fuck_.

"Hey, I'm glad you made it. You guys hungry?" he asked.

Zayn managed not to nod his head, but just barely, his mouth suddenly watering for _something_. "Nah, we're good. Thanks though," he choked out.

"Cool," Liam said, drumming his hands on the door frame. "Well, just make yourselves at home. Your room's right down that hallway, just past the bathroom," he told Waliyha, raising his chin towards the opposite end of the apartment.

"When did you do all this?" Zayn asked as Waliyha left the room, waving his hand in the air.

Liam dropped his arms, scratching self-consciously at the front of his thigh with one hand. "I knew the Chief was at your place, looking over everything so he that he can determine the cause of the fire, so I got some of the guys together and we packed up all the decorations we could carry."

"But why?" Zayn asked. Liam's face fell, so he quickly added, "I mean, it's great, you just didn't have to go to all that trouble. You're already doing so much for us."

Liam shrugged. "Christmas is right around the corner, and I thought maybe you guys, or Safaa at least, would like it."

"I love it," Zayn admitted.

"Really?" Liam asked, his face lighting up.

"Yeah," he said softly. "But how the hell did you get the tree here with the ornaments on it?"

Liam looked sheepish. "We kinda used...Saran wrap," he confessed eventually.

"You did not," Zayn grinned, barking out a laugh.

"Hey, it totally worked! We carried that thing like three blocks and those babies didn't budge."

"It's heavy as shit, right?" Zayn asked, remembering how badly his back had ached after dragging it down the street.

A cocky grin transformed Liam's features. "Was it? I didn't really notice," he said, flexing his pecs.

Zayn wrinkled his nose. "Ugh, put those away, Hercules."

"You love it," Liam insisted.

Zayn kind of did, but he wasn't about to tell Liam that. "You mind if I take a quick shower?"

"No problem," Liam said, taking a step back so that Zayn could walk past him into the bedroom. "I got it nice and warm for you."

"Um, thanks?" Zayn said with a nervous laugh, though he didn't find the idea of Liam naked in the shower at all funny.

Liam rubbed his hand up and down his stomach, drawing Zayn's eyes to the line of dark hair leading into his towel. He smirked, like he could read Zayn's mind and knew exactly what the sight of him half naked and soaking wet was doing to him, and no fucking way was Zayn going to be the only one feeling this way.

"Next time you should wait for me," he told him, sounding way cockier than he felt as he dropped his backpack to the floor and pulled his sweatshirt off, leaving him standing in just his jeans. "We could save water if we showered together."

Liam's lip twitched. "The conservation of the earth's resources _is_ something I'm passionate about."

"Good to know," Zayn nodded, unbuttoning his jeans. He unzipped them slowly, making sure that Liam's eyes were on him as he pushed them down, letting Liam see just how much he liked the idea of showering with him.

Liam's groan was the last thing Zayn heard before he kicked the bathroom door shut between them, and he matched it with a groan of his own, scrubbing his hands up and down his face. He'd only been there five minutes and living with Liam and not being able to touch him was already the worst kind of torture he could imagine.

He didn't feel any more confident that he'd last the night without attacking Liam when he got out of the shower. He dried off quickly before digging through his backpack for something to wear, cursing Doniya for not having packed any v-necks, since he had a sneaking suspicion that Liam really liked the tattoos lining his collarbone. He settled on a loose, long sleeve black t-shirt, tugging on the collar to stretch it out a bit.

He brushed his hair into place before borrowing some of Liam's gel, and he figured that would have to do, since he couldn't see his reflection in the steamy mirror. He was kind of disappointed that Liam wasn't waiting for him when he walked into the bedroom, but he used the time alone to take a peek at his phone, sitting down on the edge of Liam's bed and digging it out of the jeans he'd stuffed into his bag.

He'd missed two calls from Clark, and he hesitated on what to do next. It didn't feel right to call her from Liam's house, so he sent her a quick text instead.

 _Zayn_ : Sorry I missed your call. Super tired and heading to bed. Call you tomorrow.

He wished that he could turn the phone off, not wanting for Liam to see her calling or texting him. But he didn't want to miss hearing any updates from Doniya, so he put it on vibrate and shoved it into the pocket of his sweats instead.

"Zayn?" Liam called, giving the door three quick raps before pushing it open. He smiled when he saw Zayn on his bed. "Finally. You were in there forever. Getting nice and clean for me?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows.

Zayn ignored him, too focused on the way his hair was falling over his forehead to respond.

"I didn't know you had curly hair," he murmured, unable to stop himself from getting to his feet, his hand reaching up automatically to finger a loose curl.

"Yeah," Liam breathed, grabbing Zayn's wrist and stilling him. "Normally I straighten it, but somebody was hogging the bathroom."

Zayn pulled his hand slowly out of Liam's grasp. "Well, it doesn't look _terrible_ that way," he admitted.

Liam whipped his head back and held his hands up. "Whoa Zayn, chill out with all the compliments. You're embarrassing yourself fawning over me like this."

"You're so stupid," Zayn laughed, raising an arm to shove Liam away from him.

Liam didn't let him, catching his hand and linking their fingers as he started to pull him towards the living room. "Come on, I made popcorn and that show you like is about to start."

"What show?" Zayn asked, letting himself be dragged along, his bare feet slapping against the hard wood floors.

Liam didn't answer him, just pushed him down onto the sofa and plopped down sideways at the other end, swinging his legs onto the couch and knocking his feet against the side of Zayn's thigh. Zayn let him, but only because it didn't feel right to be telling him where and where not to put his feet in his own house.

Zayn tried not to notice how happy Liam looked, his smile a permanent fixture under his puffed up cheeks as he pulled a big bowl of popcorn onto his lap. He turned away, noticing that Liam had put on an episode of Project Runway. "How'd you know I like this show?" he asked him, pretending not to remember the night Liam had come over when he'd been watching it, right after they'd first become friends.

"I know everything," was Liam's only response, talking around a mouth full of popcorn. He pushed against Zayn's thigh, rocking him along to the beat of the opening credits. Zayn reached down and pulled Liam's feet onto his lap, more to keep him still than because he wanted to touch him. But he left his hand on Liam's ankle, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb over the patch of skin that was visible between his sock and pajama bottoms.

Zayn turned his attention to the show, though just like the last time he'd tried watching it with Liam around, he found himself focusing more on Liam than anything else. He seemed to find everything happening onscreen fascinating, and he was apparently unable to hold back his reactions, groaning when a designer chose an ugly fabric ("Who looks good in that color? No one, that's who.") and tossing his hands in the air in frustration when another one tried to talk back to Tim Gunn. He seemed to like when the designers talked shit about each other more than anything else, opening his mouth wide as he laughed wildly, slapping his thigh for emphasis. He honestly looked like the biggest dork in the world every time he did it, which was the only reason Zayn found himself laughing right along with him. It had nothing to do with the fact the he being downright adorable.

They'd just gotten to the runway portion of the show when Zayn decided that he never wanted to watch Project Runway with Liam ever again. He kept looking over at Zayn, his eyes wide as he pointed at the screen in wonder. "One day, Zayn. How did they make that in _one day_?" he asked, his astonishment growing each time a new gown was presented, and he looked so fucking cute that Zayn couldn't stop himself from moving closer.

He pushed Liam's feet off of him and scooted towards him, settling down on the middle cushion and drawing his knees up onto the couch and leaning into Liam. "What? I can't reach the popcorn from over there," he said in answer Liam's questioning look, digging his hand into the bowl to prove his point.

Liam smiled, like he knew the truth but wasn't going to call Zayn out on it. "I guarantee you the redhead wins this one," he said instead.

"Are you kidding me?" Zayn asked incredulously. "Laurent's dress is like, so sick. And did you see how crooked her seam was?"

"That's because her sewing machine jammed," Liam huffed indignantly. "It's not her fault."

"There's no room for excuses in the cutthroat world of Project Runway, Payne."

Liam set the bowl on the coffee table. "You think you're up for a little wager, Malik?"

Zayn opened his mouth to tell Liam just how ready he was, but he didn't get the chance, his phone buzzing in his pocket. He knew that Liam could feel it too, their thighs pressed together, so he had no choice but to pull it out. He did so carefully, trying to angle the screen away from Liam, but from the way Liam's body tensed he knew he'd seen Clark's picture pop up.

He sent the call to voicemail, bracing himself for an argument. But Liam surprised him instead. "You're out. Auf Wiedersehen," he murmured in a clipped German accent, repeating the words Heidi had just said onscreen.

Zayn laughed before he could stop himself. "What the fuck was that?"

Liam smiled, batting his eyelashes. "As you can probably tell, I'm really good at impersonations."

"No, you're really not," Zayn assured him, shaking his head resolutely.

"How about this one?" he asked, and when he next spoke it was with a thick Brooklyn accent. "Yo, my name's Zayn and I love lookin' pretty and like, losin' bets, and mostly I love guys named Liam Payne."

Liam was waving his hands in the air as he spoke, and Zayn swatted them away before glaring at him. "That sounds nothing like me, and none of those things are true."

"What's going on out here?" Waliyha asked, appearing in the hallway. "From the bedroom it sounded like Zayn was arguing with himself."

Zayn folded his arms over his chest. "Don't encourage him."

Liam flipped his hair out of his face with a flourish before crossing his arms. "Don't encourage him," he mimicked.

"Wait, where'd Liam go?" she asked, feigning confusion. "All I see is two Zayns."

"Neither of you are funny, and I hate you both," Zayn grumbled, slumping farther down in his seat.

Liam leaned back to sling an arm over his shoulder. "Come on, Zayn, we're at least a little funny," he insisted, pulling him towards him. A loud knock at the door stopped Zayn from replying, and he looked at Liam, a question in his eyes.

"It's Calum," Waliyha said. "I gave him Liam's address."

"It's almost ten!"

"You sound like you're about a hundred years old," she whined, stomping her foot. "And I haven't seen him since before the fire. He's worried about me."

"Fine," Zayn relented as another knock sounded at the door. "But only for a few minutes."

"Thanks _Grandpa_ ," she sneered before twirling on her heel and skipping to the door. She swung it open and immediately jumped into Calum's arms, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Ahem," Zayn said loudly, when he'd decided that the hug had gone on long enough. Calum set her back on her feet, allowing her to turn around to face them.

"This is Calum," she said excitedly, holding her hands up towards him like he was the grand prize in a showcase showdown. "Cal, this is my brother, Zayn, and you remember his uh, friend, Liam," she continued, waving dismissively at them, her eyes locked on Calum.

"It's nice to meet you," Calum said, stepping forward and smiling politely as he held out his hand. Zayn shook it without standing, not wanting to leave the comfort of the couch. Liam did the same, then immediately put his arm back around Zayn.

Calum and Waliyha squeezed into the only other chair in the room, whispering to each other, and Zayn took the opportunity to apologize to Liam. "I'm sorry. She shouldn't have invited him over without asking you," he said quietly.

Liam looked over at him, his grin mischievous. "I'm just glad it wasn't Connor. I was worried for a sec."

Zayn pulled back to glare at him, horrified.

"I know, right?" Liam asked, his eyes wide as he nodded knowingly. "There's no way all three of us would fit in that bed."

"That fucker'd be sleeping on the floor," Zayn grumbled under his breath, even though he knew in reality that he'd never even let him make it through the front door.

"We're gonna go talk in the bedroom so you guys can watch your show," Waliyha said, interrupting his murderous thoughts.

Zayn narrowed his eyes. "Uh, yeah, that's at the top of the list of things that aren't happening."

She frowned dramatically, pleading with her eyes for him to change his mind, or at least not to embarrass her in front of Calum. Zayn had seen the same look too many times for it to have any effect on him, but the same couldn't be said of Liam, who was rising to his feet before Zayn could stop him.

"You guys can stay out here. We're going to bed," he said, speaking the last part to Zayn only, and well, when he put it like that, who was Zayn to argue?

Liam pulled him to his feet, but he didn't let go of his hand once he was standing, like he didn't know that there wasn't a chance in hell that Zayn wasn't going to follow him into the bedroom. Zayn forgot all about Waliyha and Calum for a second, dazed by the reminder that he was supposed to spend the entire night in Liam's bed without touching him. But luckily Liam didn't, telling them that they needed to stay in the living room and that Calum had to leave by eleven.

"I thought you said your brother had a girlfriend?" Zayn heard Calum whisper from behind him. He could tell that Liam heard him too, his body stiffening as he dropped Zayn's hand.

He hurried to shut door, but not before he heard Waliyha's whispered response of, "He does. He just...has a Liam now too, I guess."

Zayn grimaced, following Liam into the bathroom. They brushed their teeth side by side, watching each other in the mirror until foam was covering Liam's entire mouth. He jutted his hip to the side, knocking Zayn out of the way so that he could bend over the sink. Zayn knocked him right back, and by the time they were done they were both soaking wet, water dripping down their chins and onto the front of their shirts.

"Look what you've done now," Liam pouted, wiping his face off with the bottom of his shirt before pulling it over his head. He pushed his pants off next, leaving him standing in only a pair of navy boxers. Zayn shot him a look, because really? "What? This is all I ever wear to bed," he told Zayn, grabbing his hips and steering into the bedroom, stopping when they were at the foot of his bed.

Zayn took his own shirt off but left his sweats on, because he wasn't an asshole. He looked from Liam's bare chest to the bed, which suddenly seemed a lot smaller than it had a few days before.

"This is a really bad idea."

Liam looked over at him, a sly smile sliding across his face. "I know," he smirked.

Zayn couldn't help but laugh, at the absurdity of it all. He pushed Liam away and forced himself to walk to his side of the bed, pulling back the duvet and climbing under it. Liam flipped the light switch off and got in on his side, and Zayn found himself staring at the ceiling, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness as he clasped his hands together on his stomach to stop himself from reaching out to Liam.

"Has Connor really been over here?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," Liam said cryptically.

Zayn rolled onto his side, bending an arm to prop his head up. "Tell me," he ordered, poking Liam in the side.

"Never."

"You better tell me right now, Liam," Zayn demanded, poking him a little harder.

Liam turned his head to look at him, his eyes bright even in the dark room. "Or what?"

"Or I'll..." he couldn't think of a threat big enough to accurately demonstrate how badly he needed to know whether Liam had seen Connor again, so he settled for pushing his feet against Liam's leg, causing him to yelp.

"Holy fuck, your feet are freezing!" he shouted, scrambling away from him. He was on top of Zayn before he knew what was happening, his thighs holding Zayn in place as he looked down at him. "Don't ever do that again."

"I do what I want."

"So do I. That's why maybe I did invite Connor over," he said lowly, running a hand down Zayn's chest. "Maybe I invited him over and pushed him down on this bed so that I could do this...or this," he continued, rolling his hips against Zayn's, his movements oh so slow as Zayn moved his hands to Liam's thighs, his fingers dipping under the bottom of his boxers.

"Liam," he said, tightening his grip so that Liam had to stop moving. "Have you seen him again? I need to know."

Liam sighed, rolling off of him and onto his back. Zayn fought the urge to follow him, already missing Liam's heavy weight on top of him. "No Zayn. No one's bed in this bed since you."

Zayn closed his eyes, thinking back to everything they'd done the last time they'd been in bed together, and how good Liam had made him feel, and how hot he'd looked doing it.

"Maybe I should go sleep on the sofa."

"This too hard for you?" Liam teased.

Zayn groaned. This was _literally_  too hard for him. "Yes," he admitted.

"Well I'm sorry, but Waliyha's still out there, so you're stuck with me. I'll be good from now on," Liam promised.

Zayn groaned again. He didn't want to be good. But he didn't want to be bad either, so he settled for something in between, tentatively sliding his hand across the sheets until his fingers brushed against Liam's. He paused, waiting to see if he'd pull away, but he didn't, instead turning his hand over so that it was palm up. That was all the encouragement Zayn needed to take his hand, their fingers fitting together like that was where they were meant to be, always.

Lying in bed together, so close but barely touching, felt like torture. There was a thundering in Zayn's chest and he couldn't deny it anymore. He'd lost his heart to Liam without even realizing it was happening, and now his true feelings were unavoidable. Liam was the one he wanted. He knew that it meant that he could be hurt, and that it might hurt others, but he wanted Liam and only Liam. He couldn't ignore his feelings for him any longer.

He turned his head to the side to look at him, never letting go of his hand. They fell asleep like that, fingers entwined, and they were still holding hands when Zayn woke up the next morning, only now he was on his side, Liam curled behind him, his breath on Zayn's neck and their hands pressed to Zayn's stomach.

Zayn realized with a start that despite a couple of truly shitty days, the past twelve hours had been some of the best he could remember, all because Liam had been there. He felt Liam stir behind him, his lips brushing against Zayn's shoulder before he pulled back to stretch. Zayn rolled onto his back to watch as he raised his arms over his head and arched his back, his eyes trailing from Liam's strong body up to his sweet face. His eyes were puffy with sleep, his cheek bright pink and creased from his pillow, and Zayn wished that he could wake up with him every day.

"Morning," he mumbled, smiling sleepily at Zayn before closing his eyes.

"Liam?" Zayn asked, waiting until Liam opened his eyes to continue. "Can I borrow your car? There's something I need to do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not to be dramatic, but Pillowtalk is the best thing to ever happen to me. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and please let me know what you thought of the chapter :-)


	16. Chapter 16

_**'Cause nobody knows you, baby, the way I do** _ **_..._ **

Liam sat bolt upright, all signs of sleepiness gone in an instant. "Please tell me you're not talking about driving to the grocery store, or something stupid like that," he pleaded, his eyes narrowed as he looked down at Zayn where his head was still resting against his pillow.

Zayn gave him a small, grudging smile and a slight shake of the head. "I'm not talking about driving to the grocery store," he confirmed.

"And this thing you need to do, does it need to be done in Buffalo?" he asked excitedly.

"I don't really think this is something we should be talking about, Liam," Zayn said hesitantly. It didn't feel right to discuss his relationship with Clark with Liam, especially not when they were lying in Liam's bed, both half naked and still holding hands. 

"Fine," Liam grumbled, before the grin took over his face once again. "Because if it's what I think it is, you can definitely borrow my car, _any time._ Do you want me to get my keys now? It's a lovely day for a drive," he encouraged, already starting to climb out of bed. 

Even though Zayn was dreading what he had to do, he couldn't help but match Liam's enthusiasm, the width of his smile rivaling Liam's as he watched him step into the sunlight streaming in through the window. The fucker's eyes were actually twinkling. Legitimately sparkling, like he was a cartoon character, or a movie star.  Zayn sat up on his knees, letting the sheet fall off of him as he reached for Liam's hand again, pulling him forward until his position mirrored his own.

"Look, I know you want me to do this right away, but Buffalo's five hours away, and Safaa's getting released today," he told him, taking Liam's other hand in his own. "Plus Don has to work tonight, and somebody's gotta stay with the girls." 

"I can watch them," Liam said immediately.

"I'm gonna do what I need to do, Liam, I promise. But not on Safaa's first night in a new place, okay?" He spoke the words softly, needing Liam to see that he wasn't just making excuses.

"Okay," Liam said reluctantly, pushing Zayn down onto the bed and curling up next to him. Zayn rested his head on Liam's shoulder, letting the steady rise and fall of Liam's chest and the drag of his fingers against his scalp as he carded his hand through Zayn's hair remind him that he was doing the right thing. Liam was the only possible option for him now, the intensity of his feelings towards him showing him all that he'd been missing before Liam had come into his life. He wanted - _needed_ \- to end things with Clark, as soon as possible.

But as it turned out, doing what Zayn needed to do proved harder than he'd expected. He truly wished that he could have hopped out of bed and headed upstate right then and there, just to get it over with. But between Safaa getting released from the hospital, juggling his and Doniya's work schedules, an appointment with the fire chief and a meeting with a contractor about fixing the fire damage, Zayn's schedule was too fully booked for him to be able to take time off to drive to Buffalo on a whim.

Which meant that night after night he was forced to lie next to Liam in bed, wanting to touch him and kiss him and fuck him but unable to. They fell asleep side by side, holding hands but every other part of them separate, and every morning they woke up pressed against one another, like their bodies knew something that their minds didn't, which was that they were meant to be touching each other, always, the dark cover of night giving them the permission they needed to hold each other close.

Not that they were any good at staying away from each other during daylight hours. Zayn inevitably found himself standing next to Liam whenever they were in a room together, his hand resting on Liam's back or finding his fingers without his brain telling it to. It was all Liam's fault really, those annoyingly broad shoulders the perfect spot for Zayn to rest his head, and his lap always looking more comfortable than a chair could ever be. Not that Liam was much better. His touches seemed designed to keep Zayn straddling the line between wanting to hug him and wanting to fuck him, a hard smack on the ass always followed by a sweet kiss on the cheek. 

Basically everything had started to feel like foreplay, and Zayn was pretty sure he was going to explode if Liam shot him one more longing look, or wore one more skintight t-shirt despite the fact that it was the middle of fucking winter. Because fuck, Zayn already wanted him bad enough, without being forced to see how attractive he was even when he wasn't trying, his perfect hair seeming to grow longer by the day, until Zayn could barely look at him without imagining the face Liam would make if he tugged on it, or the way it would feel sliding through his hands as he forced him to his knees.

Zayn shook his head to clear those thoughts from his mind as he walked home from work. He really shouldn't be thinking such things out in public, especially not when he had so much other shit to worry about. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket and scrambled for it, knowing who it was without looking.

 _Liam_ : hurry home. I miss ur face :'(((((((((((

Zayn came to a stop in the middle of the sidewalk, pursing his lips as he snapped off a quick selfie and attached it to a text to Liam.

 _Zayn_ :  You mean this face?

_Liam_ :  that's the one :)

 _Liam_ :  if I say I miss ur dick will u send me a pic of it too?

 _Zayn_ :  Your neighbors might frown on that considering I'm almost at your house

 _Liam_ :  well then quit texting me and start walking faster !!!

 _Liam_ :  rather see it in person anyways !

Zayn smiled despite his bad mood as he turned onto Liam's street. Because he was in a bad mood, the past few days revealing one fucked up thing after another. First he'd had to meet with the chief of the fire department, who'd told him that an investigation into the fire at his apartment had determined that it was caused by arson, which meant that now a detective was digging through every arrest Zayn had ever made, trying to determine who hated Zayn enough to do this. The thought made him sick, his insides churning every time he saw the bump on Safaa's head or was reminded that his sisters were living out of suitcases, all because Zayn had not only failed to protect them, but had also pissed someone off so badly that they'd been willing to come after his family.

Then he'd had to spend his lunch break in his burned out kitchen, meeting with the contractor his super had recommended. The meeting had not gone well, the estimate for repairs that he couldn't afford now burning a hole in his pocket. And all of this bad news had been made even worse by the fact that Liam'd had to work a twenty-four hour shift. Zayn'd had to leave to drop Safaa and Waliyha off at school before Liam had gotten home that morning, which meant that Zayn hadn't seen him for thirty-four hours and - he looked down at his phone - eleven minutes.

Which should have been fine. Better than fine, really, since it meant Zayn had the whole bed to spread out in, and that he didn't have to listen to Liam's running commentary on whatever show they were watching, or to hear his ridiculous laugh every five seconds, or to look at the big dumb smile that never seemed to leave his face. But for some stupid reason it wasn't fine, not at all. Zayn found himself missing pretty much everything about him, even the stuff that would have annoyed him had it been anyone other than Liam doing it.

Everything he did was just so freaking adorable, from the way he hummed under his breath as he lied in bed every night, like he was singing himself to sleep, to the Christmas songs he sang full blast in the shower, his voice echoing throughout the entire apartment. (Zayn knew that for as long as he lived, he'd never again be able to hear Frosty the Snowman without picturing Liam naked). ((And he was completely okay with that)).

Zayn even loved the way Liam hit snooze on his alarm over and over every morning, since he used the extra time to snuggle closer to Zayn under the covers, his half asleep mind letting him touch Zayn more than he allowed himself to when he was fully awake. He'd press his front along Zayn's back as he wrapped his arms around him, his voice rough and raspy with sleep as he rocked lazily against him, mumbling into his neck like he was too tired or too unwilling to lift his lips from Zayn's skin for even a second. His words were always bright with possibility and hazy with sin, making Zayn's head spin even as his heart clenched. 

Liam was unfailingly apologetic afterwards, his face sheepish as he finally woke up and realized what he'd said or done in the moments before his dreams faded away and reality set in. Zayn wasn't sorry though, not one fucking bit. He wanted to live in those moments, and to stay in bed with Liam forever.

The constant texts Liam had sent over the past day and a half were the only thing that had made their time apart even remotely bearable, but now Zayn needed the real thing. He quickened his pace, practically jogging through the yard and up the steps to Liam's apartment. One quick turn of the lock with the key Liam had given him and he was inside. He shrugged out of his coat and hung it up on the rack, his eyes scanning the living room.

"He's in the kitchen," Waliyha said from her place on the couch, not bothering to look up from her phone.

"Well hello to you too," Zayn said as he headed in that direction, pausing in the doorway to watch as Safaa and Liam leaned over a pot on the stove. Safaa was standing on a chair that had been pulled over to the counter, but she still looked so tiny next to Liam, his broad shoulders and muscular back clearly visible through his thin t-shirt. The room smelled of tomatoes and oregano, and as Safaa started to laugh at something Liam had said Zayn realized that he could get used to this; coming home to Liam and his sisters and a home cooked meal every night sounding pretty damn good. 

He watched as Liam passed Safaa a bottle of salt and reached around her, his big hand wrapping around her smaller one, guiding her as she shook it into the pot in front of them. Zayn noticed that he was smiling once again, and he made the decision right then and there: he wasn't going to let all the shit going on in his life ruin what could be a perfect evening. He was going to push his bad mood aside and let himself enjoy the fact that for once almost everyone he cared about was safe and happy and nearby.

"Something smells good," he announced to the room.

Safaa and Liam both turned their heads to look at him, and the way Liam's eyes trailed up his body appreciatively made Zayn grateful that he hadn't taken the time to change out of his uniform at the station.

"Me and Mr. Liam are making sketti sauce," Safaa told him proudly.

"I see that," he told her, dropping a kiss on the top of her head. He made his way over to Liam next, standing behind him and wrapping his arms around his waist before he could stop himself. "Hey," he murmured, swaying him from side to side as he tucked his face into Liam's neck and gave him a soft kiss. He felt Liam relax against him, and it was both physically painful and emotionally challenging to make himself pull away.

"Sorry," he said when Liam turned towards him. "Couldn't resist."

Liam just smiled in response, holding a wooden spoon up, his other hand cupped beneath it to catch any drips. "Want a taste?"

Zayn did want a taste, of whatever Liam was offering. He parted his lips, waiting expectantly as Liam brought the spoon up to his mouth. His tongue darted out to lick at the edge before he was closing his lips around it, letting the sauce slide down his throat.

"Delicious," he proclaimed, never breaking eye contact with Liam. He tried to make his voice sound unaffected, not only by Liam's presence and how good it felt to see him again after so long apart, but also by the miserable couple of days he'd had, and the uncertainty of how he was going to proceed.

But Liam - fucking Liam - saw right through his act, his brow creasing in concern as he took in Zayn's worry bitten lips and the dark circles under his eyes.

"You okay?" he mouthed.

"I'm good now," he promised quietly, his hand sneaking under Liam's shirt so that he could drag his nails across the soft skin of his side. He could tell that Liam didn't fully believe him, but he didn't push the issue, telling Zayn to get changed while he finished up dinner.

Everyone was seated around the table by the time Zayn had washed up and changed out of his uniform, their plates untouched in front of them as they waited for him. Not that they seemed to mind, Liam and Safaa both doubled over in laughter. Even Waliyha was smiling.

"What's so funny?" Zayn asked, pulling out the chair next to Liam and sitting down across the table from his sisters.

"Mr. Liam taught me a joke," Safaa started, before collapsing into another fit of giggles.

"Alright, let's hear it then."

She looked up at Liam hesitantly. Liam nodded, his eyes fond as they slid to Zayn's face to watch his reaction.

"What did the fish say when it hit the concrete wall?" she asked Zayn.

He pretended to think about it for a minute. "I dunno, what?"

"Dam!" she shouted, and the only thing bigger than her smile was Liam's.

Zayn snorted. "You're really proud of yourself, aren't you? Teaching a five year old cuss words."

"Kinda," Liam admitted, looking thoroughly pleased with himself.

"I'm five and a half," Safaa said grumpily, glaring at Zayn.

"Yeah, Zayn, she's five and a half," Liam mimicked, shooting Zayn a disapproving look before shoving a forkful of spaghetti into his mouth. Zayn followed suit, trying to focus as Safaa and Waliyha talked about what had happened at school that day. It was hard to though, his thoughts repeatedly drifting back to his meeting with the contractor, and the estimate that had way too many zeros.

He startled when he felt Liam's hand on his leg, stilling it. He hadn't even realized that he'd been bouncing it, or that Liam had been speaking to him.

"Everything alright?" he repeated quietly.

"Course," Zayn said with a tight smile, rolling his shoulders to try to release some of the tension in his muscles. "Just can't get over how good this sauce is."

"I made it," Safaa said triumphantly.

"It's awesome, Saf," he told her. "Best thing I've ever tasted."

Waliyha chimed in to remind Safaa that Liam had done most of the cooking, but Zayn couldn't focus on what she was saying, not with the way Liam's hand was creeping up his thigh.

"What about me?" he leaned over to whisper, his lips skimming over the shell of Zayn's ear as he spoke. "Thought I was the best thing you ever tasted?"

Zayn felt a shiver run through him. "Think I might need a reminder," he murmured, turning his head to look from Liam's pink lips down to the flush staining his neck and then lower. "It's been a while."

"Okay, I'm done," Waliyha said abruptly, the sharp clang of her fork dropping onto her plate drawing Zayn's attention away from Liam. Zayn worried for a second that she'd heard them, but she was focused on her phone as she stood and carried her plate to the sink. "Gonna do some homework."

"I don't have any homework," Safaa said happily. Zayn dunked his napkin into his glass of water and reached over to dab it on her face, wiping away the sauce on her chin. He kind of wanted to do the same thing to Liam, since he was proving to be just as messy an eater as she was, but he resisted.

"Then why don't you go get a movie started," Zayn told her as he stood and started stacking the dirty plates. "We'll be in as soon as we do the dishes."

Liam leaned back in his seat, and Zayn could feel his eyes on him as he moved about the room. "You going to help, or you too busy enjoying the view?"

"It is a lovely view, but I guess I'd be willing to rock paper scissors you for it."

Zayn rolled his eyes, but he sat down across the table from Liam anyways, his fist hitting his palm as Liam counted them down. He grinned when his paper beat Liam's rock, covering Liam's fist with his hand as Liam pouted.

"Two outta three," he begged, grabbing Zayn's wrist as he went to stand.

"Come on," Zayn groaned, pulling out of Liam's grasp and getting to his feet. "You wash, I'll dry."

"I'm almost a hundred percent certain that I'm a better dryer than you are," Liam insisted as he joined Zayn next to the counter, his hands on Zayn's hips guiding him to stand in front of the sink instead of the drying rack.

Zayn tried to look put out, but it was hard to do, what with Liam touching him like that, his fingers digging into the skin just under the waistband of his sweatpants as he leaned in until his front was flush with Zayn's back. "Be a good boy and wash the dishes for me, yeah?" he urged, pushing his hips forward a fraction, and how the fuck was Zayn supposed to argue with that?

He nodded involuntarily, turning on the water and wondering how his life at come to this. If someone had told him two months ago that one day he'd been living in Liam's house, half hard over him calling him a _good boy_ , Zayn would have laughed in their face. He couldn't believe how much had changed in such a short period of time, or that the man he'd found so incredibly annoying the first time they'd washed dishes together was now one of the people he felt closest to (though he was still just as annoying, obviously).

Liam told him about the calls he'd gone out on at work as Zayn washed and he dried, and Zayn was glad when they finished the dishes before Liam had a chance to ask him about his day. "Movie?" he asked as he took the towel from him to dry his hands.

"I can think of a few other things I'd rather do, but yeah, I guess a movie could be fun too," Liam said with a grin as he turned and headed out of the room, laughing as Zayn tried to flick the towel at him and missed. Zayn groaned as he tossed the towel aside and followed him, wondering how much longer he was going to be subjected to the torture that was an untouchable Liam Payne.

"Don't sit so close to the t.v., Saf," he said as he sat down on the couch next to Liam, not quite touching him but close enough that he figured they had a good chance of being pressed side by side before the final credits were rolling. "It's bad for your eyes."

Safaa scooted back a foot or two then evidently changed her mind about sitting on the floor, climbing to her feet. She walked backwards towards the sofa without taking her eyes off of the movie, then pushed in between Zayn and Liam, ending up half-sprawled on Zayn's lap when he didn't move to accommodate her. Zayn immediately cupped his hands under her armpits, scooping her up and moving her to his other side with a grunt.

"Hey," she whined. "I want to sit next to Liam."

"So do I," Zayn hissed.

"Calm down, girls," Liam chuckled, stretching across Zayn so that he could pick Safaa up. "There's plenty of me to go around," he assured them, plopping Safaa down on his other side before inching a fraction closer to Zayn, so that they were sitting shoulder to shoulder.

Zayn looked over at Liam to find him smiling at him. "What are you grinning about?"

"She called me Liam," he whispered. "No 'mister'."

Zayn sighed. "Guess you're officially part of the family now," he told him, scrunching his face up.

He'd never seen someone smile so big. 

He had to look away, the weight of Liam's joy threatening to smother him. "Stop being so goddamn adorable all the time," he grumbled, ignoring Safaa as she shouted something about a swear jar. "You're making me feel things."

"Oh no," Liam said in mock horror, bringing his hand up to cover his mouth as it formed a perfect _O_. "Anything but that."

"I mean it. You're way too cute. It's sickening really. And all your shirts are too tight."

"Keep telling yourself that, sunshine," he said happily. His smile had somehow gotten impossibly bigger, which only made Zayn's frown deepen.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked warily.

Liam looked down at his lap, picking an invisible piece of lint off of his sweats. "No reason," he said, his smile suddenly turning soft and shy.

"Come on, what is it?" Zayn coaxed, digging his elbow into Liam's side.

Liam didn't look up as he answered. "I just like you," he said simply, like it was no big deal.

Zayn swallowed the urge to repeat the words back to him, saying instead, "You should. I'm awesome."

"Well, I do. A lot."

"Good," Zayn said, biting back a smile.

"Like a lot a lot," Liam continued.

"Yeah well, you're not the worst person in the world," Zayn conceded, unable to hold back his own smile as he watched a light blush color Liam's cheeks.

"He likes you too," Safaa piped up excitedly, leaning froward so that she could look at both of them. "I heard him say you have a cute bu-"

"Shut it!" Zayn shouted as he turned his body and lunged for her, clapping a hand over her mouth to keep her from saying anything more. He somehow ended up on Liam's lap in the process of reaching her, but didn't bother moving, because Liam was really fucking comfortable, okay? He settled down with a thigh on either side of Liam's hips, his free hand gripping his shoulder for balance as he glared at Safaa.

"Come on, I wanna know what's so cute about me," Liam pouted, his hands finding Zayn's hips where he was perched on his lap.

"Definitely not your face," Zayn muttered as he looked down at Liam's puppy dog eyes and his plump lower lip.

"It's your butt," Safaa giggled as she finally pushed Zayn's hand away, both of her hands gripping his wrist.

Now it was Zayn's turn to pout. "Ignore her," he whispered under his breath. "She's had a head injury and is talking crazy."

Liam nodded knowingly, his hands slipping under the hem of Zayn's shirt. "I've said it before and I'll say it again. You like me."

Zayn climbed off of him with a huff, slouching down in his seat and kicking his feet up onto the coffee table. "You never told me you were funny."

Liam just laughed, scooting down until he was level with Zayn and resting his head on his shoulder. Zayn let him stay there, even dropping his head to the side to rest on top of Liam's, but it was only because this way he didn't have to see his face, or the way he was looking at him.

But without Liam's bright smiles and warm looks to distract him Zayn couldn't help but think of the hospital bills they were about to get hit with. He wondered if he'd be able to pick up any overtime at work as he absentmindedly slid his arm around Liam's shoulder, pulling him closer. He felt Liam tense as he started to play with his hair and froze immediately, not having realized what he'd been doing.

"Don't stop," Liam murmured quickly, looking up at him. "Feels good."

Zayn scratched lightly against his scalp, breathing a little easier as he felt Liam relax against him. He tried to do the same, attempting to focus on the movie but unable to concentrate on anything as his anxiety started to build. He thought he was doing a pretty good job of hiding his mood, but the rapid beat of his heart must have given him away, because before he knew what was happening Liam was rising to his feet and calling out for Waliyha.

"Hey Liyha? You mind finishing the movie with Saf and putting her to bed? I need to talk to your brother."

"Okay," she shouted from her room. "Be there in a sec."

Zayn turned to Safaa, trying not to think about what Liam wanted to talk to him about. "Guess it's bedtime for me."

"Night, Liam. Night, Zayn, I love you."

"Hey Saf? You know when I'm gonna stop loving you?"

"When?" she asked, her eyes wide.

"Never," he promised, earning a big smile and a kiss on the cheek from her.

As soon as Waliyha was in the room Liam was hauling Zayn out of it, calling out a quick goodnight to both girls as he pulled him into the bedroom in a way that told Zayn that he had no choice in the matter.

"What's wrong?" Liam demanded as soon as the door was closed behind them. "I can tell something's up," he added when Zayn started to shrug.

"You don't miss much, do you?" Zayn asked, shoving his hands in his pockets and rocking back on his heels.

Liam granted him a small, fond smile. "Only you, when you're not here."

Zayn smiled at that, he couldn't help it, but found himself frowning an instant later as he considered what to do. He thought about lying to Liam. About pushing all of his troubles to the back of his mind so that he didn't have to burden him with them. But Liam was looking at him so earnestly, like he really cared about what was bothering Zayn, and like he'd do whatever it took to make him feel better, and Zayn couldn't help but tell him the truth.

"It's this," he said, bending down to pick up his pants where he'd dropped them earlier. He pulled the estimate out of his pocket and handed it to him. Liam took it from him, looking it over without saying a word. Zayn fiddled with the collar of his shirt, watching as Liam's eyes skimmed down the paper, his jaw twitching when he saw how much the repairs were going to cost.

"I don't know what I'm going to do," Zayn admitted, dropping his gaze to the ground as the helplessness of the situation settled like a stone in the pit of his stomach.

Liam walked towards his dresser, folding the paper in thirds and setting it down calmly before turning around to face Zayn once again. "You could kiss me."

Zayn's head whipped up. "Huh? What'd you say?" he asked, because he couldn't have heard what he thought he had.

"I said you could kiss me," Liam repeated, licking his lips as he slowly closed the distance between them.

"Come on, Li, quit joking," he pleaded, because if he had to deal with Liam teasing him on top of everything else he was going to lose it. 

"I'm not joking," Liam assured him as he reached Zayn. He put a hand on his shoulder, gently forcing Zayn back until he was up against the wall. "You've had a really rough couple of days. I hate seeing you so stressed out. You need this."

"Yeah, but...I thought we weren't going to do anything, until-" he broke off as Liam pressed against him, grabbing Zayn's hands and holding them against the wall on either side of his head.

"We could break the rules, just this once. Let me make you feel good," he whispered. His lips were pink and slick from when he'd licked them, and Zayn couldn't stop staring at them. 

"We shouldn't," Zayn tried, finding it difficult to force the protest past his lips.

"We totally should," Liam insisted. "I wanna make you feel good," he continued, dropping his head to kiss the edge of Zayn's jaw before moving his lips to Zayn's ear, biting his earlobe and sending a shock of pleasure through Zayn. His hips started moving next, grinding up against Zayn slowly, showing him just how hard he already was for him.

"The girls, they're - _fuck_ \- they're right outside."

"Then I'm gonna need you to be really quiet for me, babe."

Zayn felt helpless to resist, his length fattening up in his pants as Liam began to rock against him a little faster. He let out a deep, shaky breath as Liam rolled his hips against him, his thighs trembling as he fought to hold himself still. "Liam..."

"You don't even have to touch me, or kiss me. Just let me take care of you. Let me help you forget, about everything, for the rest of the night."

Zayn wasn't able to do more than moan as he felt Liam's lips sliding ever so gently across the skin of his neck. And then his kisses turned rougher, biting into the column of his throat, and Zayn couldn't think anymore, couldn't breathe anymore. And he for goddamn sure couldn't remember any of the reasons why this was a bad idea. Everything Liam was doing to him felt too fucking good, the tight grip of his hands and slow grind of his hips and reckless sting of his teeth working together to force thoughts of anything but Liam and how much he wanted him from his mind.

"Besides, you had to know that something like this would happen when you wore that goddamn uniform home," Liam told him, letting go of Zayn's wrists so that he could pull Zayn's shirt over his head before doing the same to his own. "Looked so fucking good, babe. Could barely resist bending you over the table," he went on, his words going straight to Zayn's dick as Liam slid his hand down Zayn's body so that he could palm him where he was tenting his pants.

"I am pretty - _oh god_ \- irresistible," Zayn murmured distractedly. He was finding it very, very difficult to concentrate when Liam was touching him like that, his hand sliding from his base to his tip, touching as much of him as he could through the thick cotton of his sweats.

"I'm starting to realize that," Liam agreed, ducking his head to Zayn's chest. His teeth closed around Zayn's nipple, tugging on it as Zayn let out an embarrassingly loud whimper. Liam released him, flicking his tongue over the hard bud before sinking to his knees, kissing his way down Zayn's stomach. "None of that," he admonished when Zayn moaned again. "Gotta be a good boy for me or I won't be able to take care of you."

Zayn brought his hand up to his mouth, biting his index finger as Liam hooked his fingers into the waistband of his sweats, pulling them down and letting them pool around Zayn's ankles. His hand was on Zayn's length a second later, his eyes dark as he looked up at him.

"I'd almost forgotten how good you feel in my hand," he said softly, gripping Zayn loosely as he stroked him, again and again, until Zayn was as hard as he could ever remember being. He pushed his thumb against Zayn's tip as Zayn shook above him, rubbing tight, wet circles around the head of his cock until it was slick and shiny, and then he made it even slicker, leaning forward and pressing his tongue against Zayn's slit, his eyes still locked on Zayn's face.

Zayn had to look away as Liam's lips parted further and he swallowed him down, the sight of Liam's perfect pink mouth stretched around his cock almost sinful enough to push him over the edge. He dropped his head back against the wall as he felt Liam moan around him, like he was enjoying this just as much as Zayn was. But that was impossible, because no one in the whole world had ever felt as good as Zayn did right then. 

"Fuck, Li, your mouth," he praised him quietly, tangling his hands in Liam's hair as he felt Liam's throat clench around his tip. "It's- fuck, it's perfect. You're perfect."

And then Liam was adding his hand to the mix, using it as an extension of his mouth so that every inch of Zayn was tingling with pleasure. Liam moved his other hand behind Zayn's balls, teasing at his rim as he began to suck him faster. Zayn could feel his orgasm building, the need to come shooting through his veins and dancing across his skin. It had just been too long since he'd been touched like this, day after day and night after night of wanting Liam and not being able to have him causing him to near his release far sooner than he would have liked.

Liam pulled off of him suddenly, sitting back on his heels as he continued to pump Zayn's cock. "You gonna be a good boy and come for me?" he asked, and that was all it took for Zayn to lose control, his fingers tightening in Liam's hair, tugging harshly as he started to come. The first streak landed on Liam's lips, but he recovered immediately, opening his mouth to catch the rest of Zayn's come on his tongue, keeping his lips parted so that Zayn could see how much he was coming.

Not that Zayn needed to see the physical evidence to know that, his entire body shaking as his orgasm rocked through him. He fell back against the wall, using it for support as his knees went weak. "Liam," he breathed, over and over.

"Feel better?" Liam asked as Zayn finally finished coming, wiping his mouth off with the back of his hand as he got to his feet.

"That was...fuck, Li, that was amazing," Zayn managed to get out, his brain not working properly as his body trembled with aftershocks. Liam shot him a cocky grin, adjusting himself in his pants before taking Zayn's hand and leading him to the bed. Zayn reached for him as soon as they were lying side by side, but Liam stopped him, shaking his head as he forced Zayn to turn to his side so that he could spoon him. 

"But what about you?"

"This was never about me, babe. Just wanted to make you feel good. Besides, being hard and not being able to do anything about it has pretty much become my normal state," he added, pulsing his hips forward, like he couldn't stop himself from searching for a bit of friction despite his words. "If you ever actually break up with her I swear I'm gonna nut the second I get inside you. It's gonna be embarrassing."

"Good to know," Zayn laughed.

"I mean, you could probably drop to your knees and flutter those goddamn eyelashes at me and I'd come all over your face," he continued.

"So many wonderful things to look forward to," Zayn said dryly.

Liam smiled into Zayn's shoulder, searching for his hand so that he could interlock their fingers. "Just don't say I didn't warn you. And anyways, none of that is going to matter unless you do what you need to do."

Zayn took a sharp intake of breath, hating the doubt he heard in Liam's voice. "What about tomorrow?" he asked, bringing the back of Liam's hand up to his chest so that he could feel his heart beating.

He felt Liam go completely still behind him. "Tomorrow?"

"Yeah, tomorrow. I'm off work and so is Don. I could leave right after I drop the girls off at school, if you don't need your car?"

"Um, is it okay if I go with you? There's kinda something I need to take care of."

Zayn hesitated. "You really think that's a good idea?"

"Like I'm gonna pass up the chance to be trapped in a car with you for ten hours. Think of how much I'll be able to annoy you; it'll be great," he told him, squeezing him a little tighter. "Plus I'd miss you if you were gone all day. Wouldn't you miss me?"

Zayn couldn't deny that he was right. "Yeah, I would," he admitted.

"Then tomorrow? Together?"

"Tomorrow. Together," Zayn agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day! I hope you all have someone that loves you as much as Liam loves Zayn.


	17. Chapter 17

_**And nobody loves you, baby, the way I do...** _

Zayn woke up the next morning to the sound of  _bad boys bad boys whatcha gonna do_ blaring from his phone. "Liam," he whined when Liam didn't immediately stretch over him to silence the alarm, as had become their custom. He bucked his shoulder back to get his attention, only to realize that his back was cold and the bed was empty, and well. That was no good. He fumbled for his phone, turning the alarm off before dropping his head back onto his pillow. 

A quick glance around the room told him that Liam was no where in sight, but before he had time to regret the loss of their morning cuddles Liam was pushing the door open and bounding into the room. He hopped onto the bed, straddling Zayn's stomach and bouncing lightly with way too fucking much energy for such an early hour.

"Time to rise and shine, buttercup," he sing-songed, looking down at Zayn with a bright smile. "Places to go, people to see."

"No people. No places," Zayn groaned, pulling Liam's pillow over his face and closing his eyes once more. "Sleep."

"But Zayn..." Liam started, pulling the pillow out from his grasp and tossing it to the side. "It's _tomorrow_."

It took Zayn's tired mind a few seconds to realize what the hell Liam was talking about, and despite the fact that remembering what he had to do today made him want to get out of bed even less, he did the opposite, propping himself up on his elbows and shooting Liam a small smile.

"Shit, sorry. I'm up."

Liam scooted back a bit, pulling Zayn with him until he was sitting upright. "I made us some sandwiches and packed a cooler, and downloaded some songs for us to listen to on the ride, and I-"

"Jesus Christ, Li, how long have you been up?" Zayn asked, rubbing his eye with the back of his hand and trying not to yawn.

Liam shrugged, looking sheepish. "Couldn't really sleep," he admitted.

Zayn could feel the energy pouring off of him, and he wished that he could match his enthusiasm. But he couldn't, dread already weighing him down, so he patted him on the leg instead, urging him to move off of him so that he could get up. The sooner the day started the sooner it would be over, and at this point that was the only thing Zayn could ask for.

In his haste to stand Zayn had forgotten that he'd slept totally naked, and that, combined with the fact that it was morning and Liam had just been straddling him, left him standing half hard in front of Liam, a flush spreading up his neck as he watched Liam's smile turn wicked.

He pulled Zayn down onto the bed in an instant, blanketing his body with his own, a thigh pushed between Zayn's legs as he ran a hand through his hair. "Just think, by this time tomorrow I could be fucking you into the mattress," he murmured, stroking along Zayn's jaw with the back of his fingers, his hips pulsing minutely against Zayn's. Zayn brain short circuited, because _yeah_ , that was something he could work up a little enthusiasm over.

He looked up at Liam, resisting the urge to kiss his bright pink lips. It felt like Liam was doing the same, his eyes lingering over Zayn's mouth before his gaze traveled lower, his eyes widening comically as his body tensed.

"What is it?"

Liam swallowed, not looking Zayn in the eyes. "Um," he said, before swallowing again. "You remember how we agreed that I'm your favorite person in the whole world?"

"I most definitely did not agree to that."

Liam ignored him. "And that you could never, _ever_ be mad at me, because I'm so wonderful? I'm going to need you to keep that in mind when you look in the mirror."

Zayn pushed him off and rose to stand, grabbing his boxers from the floor and pulling them on before hurrying to the mirror above the dresser so that he could see what had caused Liam's sudden change in mood. A quick glance revealed half a dozen angry red marks on his throat, starting just below his left ear and trailing down to his collarbone.

"What. The. Fuck," he growled, poking at the largest of the marks and wincing at the sting. "I haven't had a hickey since high school and you decide to do this, on today of all days?"

Liam sat up, looking contrite. "I didn't know then that today was going to be the day," he reminded Zayn as he stood and started towards him. "I guess I just got a little carried away."

"A _little_?" Zayn asked, turning to face the mirror and gesturing to his neck. "I look like I was mauled by a bear!"

Liam reached him, his hand finding Zayn's chin and forcing him to look at him. "Would it help," he murmured, leaning forward to kiss Zayn's cheek, "if I said that I was very," a kiss on his other cheek, "very sorry?" he asked, placing a kiss on the tip of Zayn's nose before stepping back, not looking sorry at all.

Zayn closed his eyes, willing his anger away. He couldn't really blame Liam for not having been able to control himself, since his own self-restraint was pushed to the limit every time he was around him. "It's- it's fine. Do you have like, a turtleneck or something I can wear?"

Liam shrugged a shoulder as he thought about it. "I think I have a bandana? You could wrap it around your neck," he suggested.

Zayn rolled his eyes. "Do I look like a fucking cowboy, Liam? You got some assless chaps for me too?"

Liam grinned, knocking Zayn out of the way with a light shove so that he could get to his dresser. "Just wear this," he said, pulling out a hooded sweatshirt and handing it to him. "It should cover most of them, and you can wear a scarf to hide the rest. Just means you'll have to keep your coat on, I guess. No breakup sex for you," he added, looking pretty pleased with himself over this guarantee.

Zayn huffed, grabbing the sweatshirt and a clean pair of boxers and jeans before stomping into the bathroom. He showered quickly, then dressed and made his way into the kitchen. "Oh, thank god," he said as Liam handed him a cup of coffee as he passed.

"Please, just call me Liam," he told him solemnly.

Zayn groaned at the dumb joke, staring Liam down, but Liam just smiled in return, and he couldn't help but smile back when he took a sip of his coffee and discovered that it was nice and sweet, just the way he liked it. He set the mug down on the counter so that he could grab the lunches he'd packed for the girls the night before from the fridge, then sat down at the table with a napkin and pen and started sketching a quick doodle for Safaa. She came into the room just as he was putting it into her lunch box, her skirt tucked halfway into her tights and her hair sticking out in a million different directions. 

He fixed her skirt as she climbed up onto a chair, then took the comb she handed him and began brushing her hair.

"Morning, Saf," Liam said as he placed a bowl of cereal in front on her.

"Morning, Liam," she said from behind a yawn, dropping her head onto an arm that was stretched out on the table.

"You gotta hold still for me," Zayn reminded her. He was trying to french braid her hair, but it was difficult, what with her head lolling around. Liam wasn't helping his concentration, leaning over the counter and swaying his hips from side to side as he looked over his shoulder at Zayn.

"Is that really necessary?" Zayn asked him, not bothering to take the comb out from between his teeth.

Liam feigned surprise. "Oh, I'm sorry. Is my cute butt distracting you?" he asked, wiggling it further to make Safaa to giggle.

"Don't know what you're laughing about," Zayn told her. "This is all your fault."

Safaa jumped up in her seat, like she was just remembering something, and Zayn barely had time to tie a rubber band around her braid before she was scrambling away from him and running out of the room. She was back a minute later with her backpack, smiling brightly as she reached into it and pulled out a piece of paper.

"It's for you," she told Liam, shoving it into his hand. Zayn walked around the table, resting his chin on Liam's shoulder so that he could see. He was pretty sure that the big yellow blob she'd drawn was meant to be Liam in his fire gear, if the _Leeyum_ written at the top of the paper in giant crooked letters was any indication. "Ms. Jenna wouldn't tell me how to spell it. Said I had to sound it out. Did I do good?"

"Why, it's the most magnificent picture I've ever seen," Liam assured her, his voice deep and booming like a sports announcer's as he dug around in a junk drawer for a roll of tape. "These colors! Those details! It's a true work of art," he finished as he secured the drawing to the fridge.

Safaa beamed, and Zayn found himself smiling just as big as he noticed that Liam's fridge was no longer blank, two other drawings and Doniya's work schedule also taped to it. "Guess I need to get some magnets," Liam said when he saw where Zayn was looking.

"Guess so," Zayn agreed quietly, taking another sip of coffee. He kind of liked the way Liam said it, like he was planning on keeping them all around long enough that he'd need a lifetime's supply worth. He leaned back against the counter, knocking his hip into Liam's as he looked up at him. He looked so handsome in his stupid tight shirt, a green one this time that made his eyes look rich and dark in comparison, and Zayn wished that he could kiss him. He settled for skimming a knuckle along his freshly shaved jaw instead, noting that Liam looked like he wanted to kiss him just as badly.

"Ugh, there are minors present," Waliyha groaned as she came into the room. "Here, need you to sign this."

Zayn reluctantly stepped away from Liam, pulling out a chair across from Safaa and taking the paper from Waliyha. "What's this?" he asked.

"Permission slip," she told him as she sat down and took a bite of her cereal. "We're going to a museum."

Zayn signed it quickly, then noticed the cost. "Thirty bucks just to look at some art?" he asked incredulously, though he was already reaching for his wallet.

"You can't put a price on education, Zayn," she said with a smile, taking the paper and cash from him. "Wait, you gave me too much," she told him, trying to hand a ten dollar bill back to him.

Zayn waved her off. "Keep it. In case you see a souvenir or something," he added when he saw Liam looking at him fondly. "What?" he asked him as he got to his feet and started gathering the dishes to bring to the sink.

Liam raised his shoulders in a small shrug. "You're a really good brother, you know that?"

Zayn rolled his eyes, but he could feel his cheeks heat and hoped that Liam didn't notice. "I'm good at everything, remember?" 

Liam laughed, then leaned in so that the girls couldn't hear, placing a hand on either side of the counter where Zayn stood facing the sink. "Guess we'll find out soon enough," he murmured, biting Zayn's earlobe before stepping away. Zayn's eyes fluttered shut, the promise of Liam's words making him feel hot all over, and he decided that the dishes could wait. He had places to go and people to see.

He helped Safaa into her coat before shrugging on his own, then grabbed her backpack and headed towards the door. Liam stopped him just before he walked through it, tugging him back to stand in front of him. "Can't forget this," he whispered, trying not to wake Doniya where she slept on the sofa as he wrapped a winter scarf around Zayn's neck.

"Thanks," he whispered back, placing his hand over Liam's for a second. 

They were all in Liam's car and headed towards the girls' school a minute later, and Zayn couldn't believe that he was actually going to break up with Clark in a matter of hours. Except that he kind of could, because he really, really liked how happy Liam looked as he smiled over at Zayn, and the sound of his easy laugh as he joked around with his sisters. He really, really liked pretty much everything about Liam.

"Unh unh unh," Zayn called out as they pulled into the drop off line in front of the school, turning around in his seat to stop Safaa before she could get out of the car. "I think you're forgetting something," he said, tapping his finger against his nose.

"Oh yeah," she smiled, placing her hands on his cheeks and leaning in give him an eskimo kiss. Liam smiled at the exchange, his eyebrows popping up in surprise as she turned to him next, grabbing his cheeks with both hands and smushing his face together as she rubbed the tip of her nose against his. 

"Bye Liam! Bye Zayn, I love you!" she yelled loudly as she hopped out of the car and ran to take Waliyha's hand. Zayn sighed as he opened his door so that he could get out to shut hers, calling out a quick goodbye to both girls before climbing back into the car. They waited until they were inside to pull away from the curb, and when Zayn looked over at Liam he saw that his face was tinged pink, like he was embarrassed by the whole exchange.

"Sorry about that," Zayn said quickly. "She's never been shy."

Liam's mouth straightened into a thin line, his eyebrows pressing down.

"What?" Zayn asked, confused as to why Liam was looking at him like that.

"You're always doing that," Liam began, sounding exasperated. "Apologizing for them, like it's a bad thing that getting to know you means having to spend time with them."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that there's no reason to apologize for them, because they bring out the best in you. You're like, all kinds of adorable around them."

Zayn sat back in his seat, staring straight ahead. "I am not adorable. I am rugged and manly and extremely handsome, but I am _not_ adorable," he insisted in a clipped tone.

"You really are though," Liam argued with a smile. "Like, I thought you were hot from the first moment I saw you on the field - don't smirk at me like that, you cocky bastard - and I knew I wanted to hook up with you after I tackled you, but-"

"You totally did that on purpose, didn't you?"

"Pretty smooth, huh?" he asked with a grin before continuing. "But it wasn't until I saw how you were you with your sisters that I decided that I actually wanted to get to know you."

Zayn knew that he shouldn't press for more, but he couldn't stop himself from asking, "And now that you know me?"

Liam cocked his head to the side to look at him, like he was considering the question, before facing the road again. "Think I might keep you around for a while."

Zayn tried not to smile at that, he really did, but a grin found its way onto his face anyway. He turned away from Liam, looking out the window as they pulled onto the highway, trying to work up some excitement. He'd _loved_ road trips as a kid. He'd spent countless hours bundled in the backseat with a pillow and a Capri Sun, a comic book in his lap, the seats pushed back so that he and Doniya could stretch out. They'd make fun of their parents as they sang along to the radio, laughing their way along the miles as they traveled to see their grandparents, who always had a glass jar of candy on their coffee table and a five dollar bill for Zayn.

He didn't love road trips anymore.

But with Liam he found that they weren't so bad. He pointed out landmark after landmark along the way, places that wouldn't have meant anything to Zayn if they hadn't been accompanied by stories from Liam's childhood, when he'd seemed to do nothing but travel. His storytelling was animated to say the least, his hands never staying on the wheel for long as he gestured dramatically, and Zayn found himself wishing that they could take a real trip together.

But maybe they could.  _Think I might keep you around for a while._  Zayn liked the sound of that. A lot. Like, maybe a little too much, the idea that Liam might want this thing between them - whatever it was - to last making him feel happier than he had a right to. He felt a warmth in his chest whenever he looked over at Liam, and it felt incongruous with what he was heading to do. He avoided looking at him for this very reason as they traveled north, guilt flooding through him over how happy he was to be with Liam when he was about to break Clark's heart. 

His own heart felt full in a way it never had before, and it was all because of Liam. Liam, who was currently annoying the hell out of by singing along - loudly - to one of the songs from what he'd cryptically called "The Before Playlist."

" _Get you where you wanna go, if you know what I mean...Got a ride that's smoother than a limousine...Can you handle the curves, can you run all the lights...If you can baby boy, then we can go all night-_ "

"Who sings this song again?" Zayn interrupted.

Liam looked over at him, incredulous. "It's Rihanna," he answered, and Zayn could see him mentally tacking on a _duh_  at the end.

"Why don't you let her sing it for a bit then, 'kay?"

Liam laughed, tossing his head back, then immediately started singing again, only twice as loudly this time. 

Zayn shook his head, pressing his lips together to keep from smiling. A few minutes later he found himself singing along too, laughing as he realized that all of the songs playing were about driving, and that Liam truly was the biggest dork in the world. The hours passed by easily this way, until they were almost to Buffalo. The minutes seemed to slow down as they neared their destination, panic building inside of Zayn as he began to recognize landmarks from the one other trip he'd made this far upstate.

He closed his eyes and chewed on his thumbnail, willing his heart rate to slow down and trying to remind himself that it was just a normal road, and nothing more. But it felt like a lot more, and he wondered if he should just feign sleep, keeping his eyes closed until they got to Clark's, or if that would just make it worse, his imagination and memories far more haunting than anything he would see now, so many years later.  

He should've been more prepared. It had been four years for fuck's sake. Four years in which he should have recovered enough to drive down a stretch of highway. But as they neared the road where it had all happened, he realized that he wasn't prepared, not one bit, not at all.  Not for the memories that were already flooding back to him, of broken glass and bloody pavement and Safaa's cries as he rushed her and Waliyha to the side of the road, leaving a one year old and an eleven year old to fend for themselves so that he could check on his parents, who were already beyond saving.

He was snapped out of his dark thoughts when he heard Liam turn on the blinker, his eyes darting to the exit ramp he was heading them towards in confusion. "No, this isn't the right exit. We've still got a ways to go."

"I thought we might take some back roads instead," Liam said. His voice was calm and steady, but something in his tone and the pointed way he wasn't looking at Zayn told him that this hadn't been a last minute decision.

"How did you know?"

Liam shrugged. "I asked Don. That's not a place you should have to revisit, ever."

Zayn was at a loss for words, struck stupid by a rush of affection for the man sitting next to him. A simple, "Thank you," was all he could manage without letting all of the things he wanted to say to Liam spill out of him. He knew that it wasn't enough - not nearly - but Liam seemed to understand, giving him a small smile as he reached over to rest his hand on Zayn's where it lay on his thigh. 

"Is this just you still fighting for me, or are you actually this perfect all the time?" Zayn finally asked, thinking back to what Liam had said to him when he'd first found out about Clark.

"Honestly, it stopped feeling like a game a long time ago," he admitted quietly. "Though I'm definitely winning," he added quickly, like he thought he'd said too much and needed to lessen the weight of his words with a joke.

Zayn suddenly felt terrible. Despite his best efforts to hide it, he knew that Liam was well aware that Zayn liked him. But he had no idea just how much, or how often Zayn thought of him, and how those thoughts never failed to make him smile.

But he couldn't tell Liam any of that. "You definitely are," he agreed instead, and he was glad that he'd said it when Liam's face brightened.

They were quiet as they neared Clark's, but they never stopped holding hands, and Zayn felt slightly calmer than he'd expected to as they pulled up to her place. He tilted his head back, looking up at the apartment building he'd heard so much about but never visited.

"Are you sure she's home?" Liam asked suddenly, as if it'd just occurred to him that they could have traveled all this way just to find out that she wasn't there.

Zayn nodded. "I texted her before we left. She said she'd be home all day."

"So she knows you're coming?"

Zayn turned away from Liam to look out the window again. "I wanted to give her some warning, you know?" The truth was he'd tried to warn her in other ways too over the past couple of weeks, by not texting her back right away or telling he loved her as often. And he knew that Clark had gotten the message, her own texts and calls becoming more and more frequent as she felt him pulling away. He felt like shit for how he'd been handling the situation, but was at a loss as to how to end things without hurting her.

"You okay?" Liam asked, drawing Zayn's attention back to him. He looked like he was genuinely concerned for Zayn's feelings, his soft smile reminding Zayn of why he was doing this.

Zayn didn't answer, because he wasn't okay, not really. "Meet me back here in an hour?" he asked, reaching for the door handle.

"I'll be here," Liam promised.

The knowledge that Liam would be there waiting for him at the end of all this was the only thing that gave Zayn the push he needed to get out of the car. He waited until Liam'd driven off to head towards the building, letting out a deep breath before pulling open the door to the lobby. He ignored the elevator and headed for the stairs instead, needing to burn off some of the nervous energy building inside him.

He could do this. He told himself this again and again as he walked up the three flights of stairs, and he'd almost convinced himself that it was true as he raised his fist and knocked on the door to her apartment. 

She opened it almost immediately, like she'd been waiting just on the other side, and she looked so upset already that Zayn had to force himself to walk over the threshold as she stepped back to let him in.

He couldn't do this. 

He couldn't, but he would, for Liam. And for Clark, because she deserved to find someone who wanted to be around her as much as he wanted to be around Liam.

She didn't try to hug him, or even say hello, just led him into the living room and sat down on the sofa, tucking a leg beneath her. She watched him warily as he sat down a couple of feet away from her and looked around the room.

They'd Facetimed often enough that the apartment was familiar to him, though it was different seeing it in person. Clark looked different to him too, the happiness he usually saw in her face when they were together replaced with anxiety. She had dark circles under her eyes, and Zayn hoped that she hadn't been staying up nights worrying about him.

"I know why you're here," she said quietly, looking down at her lap, where she was wringing her fingers.

Zayn swallowed. "You do?"

"Yeah, and I just want to know why. I don't understand what's changed," she said, finally looking up at him. "We're good together, Zayn. We always have been."

"I just think we need some time apart, to try other things," he said, as gently as he could.

"Don't you love me anymore?" she asked. 

Zayn felt a lump form in his throat at how hurt she sounded, pressure building behind his eyes. "I do, Clark. I'll always love you," he told her truthfully.

"Then what is it? Is there someone else?"

Zayn stood up, unable to sit still as the speech he'd planned died on his lips. "Clark, I..."

"It's Liam, isn't it?" 

Zayn took a step back, his surprise at hearing her mention Liam's name almost knocking him off of his feet. "What? How...why would you think that?" he asked, confused.

She let out a hollow laugh, a harsh, bitter sound that was so unlike her usual soft giggle that Zayn had to look away, not wanting to remember her like this. "A blind person could've seen the way he looked at you, and I noticed how you reacted to him, but...I never thought you'd actually-" she cut off, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth. She was taking big, heaving gulps of air, like she couldn't get enough oxygen, and Zayn had to physically restrain himself from reaching out to her, knowing that it would be the last thing she'd want.

"I'm so sorry, Clark. I never wanted to hurt you. I- I thought it was just like, a phase, or something I could get over, but-"

"But now you want to be with him and not me," she finished for him, her voice breaking.

Zayn didn't want to hurt her further, so he didn't say anything at all.

She stood and started pacing the room, running a hand through her hair. "And you've been staying with him, oh my god," she said, coming to a stop. "Have you had sex with him?" she demanded.

" _No_ ," Zayn assured her emphatically.

"But you've hooked up, haven't you?" she pressed, her voice rising with every word.

"Clark, please don't do this," he begged. He didn't want to have to tell her that he'd cheated on her, but he wouldn't lie to her either.

She closed her eyes, shaking her head from side to side, and Zayn knew that she was trying not to cry. He could see the battle raging inside her, as she fought between being hurt and being angry. Anger won out in the end, and her eyes were dry when she opened them to look at Zayn.

"Did you come here to confess, or to break up with me?" she asked, her voice hard.

Zayn didn't say anything, which was answer enough.

"Get out," she ordered.

Zayn first instinct was to refuse, to stay right where he was until he'd had the chance to tell her again that he still loved her, and that he always would. Until he'd earned her forgiveness, and made her promise that they could stay friends. But instead he nodded slowly and did as she asked, because it would have been selfish for him to stay when she wanted him to go, and he didn't want to be selfish with her anymore.

He was sitting on the curb when Liam pulled up, his arms draped over his knees and his head hung down between his shoulders. Liam didn't ask any questions when he climbed into the car, and if he noticed how red his eyes were, well, he didn't say anything about that either.

They were quiet for a long while, and almost an hour had passed by the time Zayn realized that he wasn't the only one who was upset.

"Are you okay?" he asked, noticing for the first time how tightly Liam was gripping the steering wheel, and the nervous glances he kept shooting him.

Liam hesitated, darting his eyes towards Zayn and then quickly looking back at the road again. "Listen, I...I kinda did something, and I don't want you to get mad."

Zayn felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise, a sliver of fear causing his stomach to sink. "What'd you do?"

"Just promise me you won't get mad and I'll tell you," he said, holding his pinkie up in the air.

"I'm not promising shit, just tell me what you did, Liam," Zayn demanded.

"Okay, well. While you were doing, you know, what you had to do, I kinda went to see my parents."

"Why would that make me mad? I think that's great."

"Yeah, so we kinda made up, I guess, and I...I got this," he said, reaching above his head to pull something out from his visor.

Zayn took it from him, his chest tightening as he saw that it was a check from Liam's father, made out to Liam but obviously not really for him at all, since it was for the exact amount that the repairs to Zayn's kitchen were going to cost. He opened his mouth to speak but found that the words were caught in his throat, all of the million things he wanted to say seeming too inconsequential in the light of such generosity.

"Pull over," he finally managed to get out.

Liam looked over at him warily. "Look, I know you want to fight me on this, but if you'd just think about it-"

"Liam, can you please pull over? I don't want to fight you, you big dummy."

"You don't?"

"No," Zayn said exasperatedly. "I just really, _really_ need to kiss you. Like, right this fucking second."

The next thing Zayn knew the console was digging into his side as Liam swerved the car to the right, slamming on the brakes as soon as he was out of the road.

"Yeah?" he asked as he put the car into park. "You're not mad at me?"

"Actually I am extremely mad at you. But I also need to kiss you so fucking bad I can't stand it," Zayn told him, already reaching towards him.

Liam held up a hand to stop him from getting too close. "Did you do it?"

Zayn nodded, knowing exactly what Liam was asking him. "I'm all yours," he breathed, before adding, "If you want me."

"Oh, I want you," Liam assured him, unbuckling his seat belt and leaning back against the car door. "And you wanna kiss me, so bad you can't stand it," Liam teased, raising his eyebrows suggestively but not coming any closer.

"Liam..." Zayn warned, unbuckling his own seat belt.

"You think I'm great, don't you? You probably say to yourself, 'that Liam, he's half man, half amazing.'"

"And humble too," Zayn added, rolling his eyes.

"He's my hero," Liam continued, imitating Zayn once again.

Zayn pulled a face. "You're really ruining the mood here, Liam."

"Some might even say a _super_ hero," he went on, his Brooklyn accent getting thicker.

"Seriously. I'm gonna need you to shut up now," Zayn told him.

Liam raised his eyebrows, pointing at himself. "Me? You want me to shut up?" he asked, finally giving in and moving closer, one elbow edging onto the armrest. Zayn took the opportunity presented to him, sliding a warm hand over Liam's, moving from his wrist to his forearm, a hard grip on soft skin. Liam responded in kind, twisting his body so that his other hand could grasp the back of Zayn's neck, fingers weaving into his hair and forcing him closer. "Why don't you make me?"

Zayn paused just before they kissed, their noses brushing and pressing in, breathing each other in, until the anticipation of their first guilt-free kiss was too much, and he couldn't wait any longer. Couldn't hold back anymore, not when there was nothing left to keep them apart.

Zayn gasped as their lips finally met. The kiss was like a dance, choreographed to perfection without even trying, their heads angling from side to side as their mouths met again and again, Zayn's tongue sliding between Liam's parted lips almost immediately, needing to be as close to him as possible. He felt like he could breathe for the first time in weeks, the time they'd spent not kissing seeming like an eternity. Because this was what they were meant to be doing. What they were made for, their lips and mouths and hands and bodies designed to fit against the other's, in a way that no one else's ever could.

Zayn tried to press closer, groaning in frustration when the console got in his way, the check clutched in his hand crinkling as he pulled Liam halfway over it. He could feel Liam's fingers tracing along the pulse in his neck as he deepened the kiss. He knew that it must be beating wildly, and he hoped that it didn't give away too much. About how much he wanted Liam. How much he liked him, and the fact that he always wanted him around, despite what he sometimes claimed. He hoped that it didn't give away his heart.

"I can't believe you did this for me," Zayn mumbled in between kisses, smiling against Liam's lips.

"It wasn't just for you. I was being stupid, staying mad at them just because they wanted me to go to college, when I know that you'd give anything for the chance to talk to your parents again."

Zayn rested his forehead against Liam's, trying to catch his breath. "What'd you say you needed the money for?"

Liam shrugged, like it was no big deal that he'd borrowed several thousand dollars from a father he hadn't spoken to in months, all for Zayn. "I told him that someone special to me needed it."

"And am I your someone special, Liam?" Zayn asked cheekily.

Liam rolled his eyes. "Actually, I was talking about Doniya."

"Haha," Zayn put on a pretend pout before growing more serious. "Thank you for doing this, Li, but I still can't take your money," he said, handing the check back to him.

"I thought you might say that," Liam said with a deep sigh as he dug his phone out from his jeans. "Guess I'll have to go with plan B."

"What's plan B?"

"Don't worry about it," was Liam's only response as he sent off a text and hooked his phone up to the aux cord, hitting a few buttons before dropping it into the cup holder. "Time for The After Playlist," he said with a smile.

"Tell me what plan B is, Liam." Zayn tried his best to sound threatening, but the easy smile on Liam's face told him he wasn't succeeding. "You really are amazing, you know that?"

"I am?" Liam asked, clearly delighted.

"Yes," Zayn said, sitting back in his seat and folding his arms over his chest. "Amazingly annoying."

Liam laughed, looking Zayn up and down, and a second later he was scrambling over the console and into the back seat.

"Get back here," he ordered, crooking a finger at Zayn.

"We're in the middle of the road, Liam," he pointed out.

Liam surged forward, capturing Zayn's lips with his own, his hands cupping his cheeks. "I just need a minute, to feel you on top of me," he told him, and how the fuck was Zayn supposed to say no to that? He was only human after all. 

"This is probably illegal," he told him, though the words carried little weight since he was climbing into the back seat just as eagerly as Liam had.

"I guess that makes you a pretty terrible cop then, huh?" Liam muttered, pulling Zayn onto his lap.

And then they were kissing again, and Zayn didn't care if they ended up in jail for it, because he never wanted to do anything else. That was until Liam gripped his waist, pulling him down so that he could rock against him, and suddenly all Zayn could think about was all of the other things he wanted to be doing. A song drifted out from the speakers, and though he didn't recognize it he could tell that it was about sex, and he was really fucking okay with the mood Liam was trying to set with this new playlist, like he knew as well as Zayn did that they wouldn't be able to wait until they got home to hook up.

Liam's hands slipped under his sweatshirt, sliding up his back to wrap around his shoulders, allowing him to move Zayn's body against his own. Zayn moaned as his hard length brushed against the bulge in Liam's jeans. The touch was electric, sending sparks across his skin and shivers down his spine.

He wanted more.

"I'm gonna need you to break whatever traffic laws it takes to get us home as soon as possible," he panted against Liam's open mouth. Already the windows were fogging up, and Zayn was almost positive that despite his last words there was not a chance in hell that he was going to be able to make it all the way back to Liam's without getting both of them off. "Need to fuck you so bad."

"Unh unh," Liam said, shaking his head no even as his hips rocked up against Zayn, clearly saying _yes_.

"What do you mean, unh unh?" he asked, confused as to how Liam could even be considering denying giving him what he needed most.

"Not gonna- oh fuck," he cut off as Zayn reached between them to unbutton his jeans. "Not gonna fuck you until we go on a date," he managed to finish.

"What?" Zayn demanded, pulling back so that he could stare at him incredulously, his hands frozen on his own zipper.

Liam looked wrecked already, but his words were steady when he spoke, like he'd been planning on saying this for a while.

"I don't think we should have sex yet. Not until I've taken you out on a real date."

"Liam, we're grown men. I know I've only ever been with one person, but are you really telling me you've never had sex with someone you weren't dating?" he asked, trying to ignore the jealousy that surged through him at the thought of these theoretical hookups.

"That was different. You're different. I want it to be perfect," he said, reaching up to brush Zayn's hair out of his face. "You deserve perfect."

"But we already went on a date," Zayn whined. "We went to that restaurant, the first time we hung out, remember?"

Liam shook his head. "That wasn't a date."

"It kinda felt like a date," Zayn argued. He didn't mind admitting the truth if it meant he might get some.

"You thought I was trying to hook up with your sister. That automatically makes it not a date. And you an idiot," he added with a laugh.

"What about the club? We even kissed afterwards, which is a very end of date type of thing to do."

"Harry was there. And Niall. And Doniya. Not a date," he insisted, drumming his fingers on Zayn's thighs.

"Fine," Zayn groaned, fisting the front of Liam's t-shirt with both hands. "You want a date, I'll give you a date. Let's swing through a McDonald's and get this thing going."

"That's not the kind of date I have in mind, and anyways, I've got to work tonight."

"What?" Zayn asked, his voice high and needy as the night he'd fantasized about for so long slipped further out of reach.

Liam looked rueful. "Shift starts at seven."

"Why didn't you say something? I'm not sure we'll be back in time," Zayn said worriedly, twisting back to look at the clock on the dashboard.

"Believe me," Liam said, squeezing Zayn's sides to get him to look back at him, "everything that's happened today will make getting written up well worth it."

"Well then when are we supposed to go on this stupid date?" Zayn grumbled, though he kind of liked the idea that Liam wanted to make it special for them.

Liam smiled shyly, fiddling with the hem of Zayn's sweatshirt. "How about I get ready at the station tomorrow, and I'll pick you up as soon as I'm off? Say about seven fifteen?"

"It's a date," Zayn agreed, unable to hold back his smile as he said the words, his heart fluttering at the thought of going on an actual date with Liam, not to mention what might happen afterwards. And then his smile promptly fell, because that meant that he had to wait more than twenty-four hours to finally have sex with Liam.

"You know what's no fun?" he asked, climbing off of Liam and folding his arms over his chest. "You, ever."

"Hey, I'm loads of fun!" he protested.

"No, you're not. Because if you were then you'd be inside me right now, letting me get off on your cock," he pouted, running a hand over where he was still half hard.

"Come on now," Liam urged, bumping him with his shoulder. "I wouldn't say no to a hand job..."

Zayn shot him a look, his lips pursed.

"Maybe some road head?" he tried with a hopeful smile.

"I didn't break up with her to get your dick in my _mouth_ ," Zayn reminded him. 

Liam chuckled, looking away from him, but it sounded forced to Zayn's ears. And he didn't miss the way Liam's muscles tensed for an instant, before he forced himself to relax.

"Hey," Zayn said softly, lifting a hand to Liam's chin to get him to look at him. "You know I didn't break up with her just so we could have sex, right?"

Liam waved a hand in the air. "Yeah, of course," he agreed unconvincingly.  

"I mean it, Liam. I needed to break up with her anyway. Being able to do this," he said, trailing is hand down Liam's chest and stomach to the front of his open jeans, "is just an added incentive." He curled his fingers around Liam's length through his boxers, stroking him until he was fully hard again.

"Yeah?" Liam asked, his breath hitching. 

"Yeah," Zayn confirmed, tilting his head to bring his lips to Liam's throat.

Liam arched his neck, giving Zayn more skin to kiss as he got even harder under Zayn's hand. "Can you think of any other incentives you might be interested in taking advantage of?"

"Mmhmm," Zayn murmured into his neck, kissing his way from his birthmark up to his lips. "Maybe something like this?" he asked, pulling Liam's cock out of his boxers with one hand while sliding the other to the back of Liam's head, pulling him closer as he started to jerk him off faster.

Liam pulled back, looking around quickly to make sure that no one could  see them. "It's a good thing these windows are tinted."

"A very good thing," Zayn agreed, pushing Liam back against the door so that he could fit between his legs.

His mouth was on him a second later, a thrill running through him as Liam moaned above him.

"Oh fuck," he said, banging his head back against the window. "Fuck, it's been so long." 

Zayn looked up at him through his eyelashes, sucking in his cheekbones so that the sides of his cheeks dragged along Liam's length as he moved him in and out of his mouth, gagging as the head of his cock nudged the back of his throat.

"Oh my god, don't look at me like that. Gonna make me come so fucking fast," Liam grunted. Zayn moaned at his words, his own hips rocking forward, desperately searching for friction and finding none. He fumbled with one hand to push his pants down enough to get a hand around himself, already feeling dangerously close to coming. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed doing this. How much he loved the way Liam tasted, and the weight of him on his tongue. How much he wanted to make Liam come undone with just his mouth.

He redoubled his efforts, sucking Liam down and fucking into his fist at the same pace. "Fuck Zayn, you look so good sucking my cock," Liam praised him, his hands gripping the sides of his head to hold him still. He lifted his hips off of the seat, pushing farther inside Zayn's mouth as Zayn's hand began to move faster, his orgasm racing towards him. "Not gonna last long," Liam warned him, his words matching Zayn's thoughts.

"Tell me how good it feels," Zayn pulled off to plead. 

"So fucking good, Zayn. Want this to last forever," he moaned, and Zayn didn't know whether he was talking about the blow job or whatever was happening between them, but either way Zayn agreed wholeheartedly. He wanted this - Liam hard and wanting him, gasping and moaning and falling apart because of the way Zayn was making him feel - forever. But he also wanted road trips and family dinners and first dates with him. He wanted it all, and he hoped that Liam did too.

"Yeah baby, just like that," Liam breathed, his hips stilling as his cock pulsed on Zayn's tongue, spilling into his mouth. His orgasm seemed to last forever, his breathing labored as he filled Zayn's mouth to the brim. Zayn swallowed every last bit of it, not wanting to waste a drop, and as soon as Liam let go of his head he was climbing onto the seat on top of him, his hand a blur on his cock as Liam lifted his t-shirt up to his chest, just in time for Zayn to start coming, streaks of white landing on Liam's abs.

Zayn fell back onto the seat when he'd finished, feeling better than he had in weeks. His head rolled to the side, and he chuckled softly as he watched Liam staring at the mess on his stomach. "You should leave it. Little something to remember me by while you're at work."

Liam looked at him with half-hooded eyes. "It's a good thing you're so pretty, 'cause you sure are a pain in the ass," he told him, wiping at his stomach with a towel he'd grabbed from the floor.

Zayn batted his eyelashes. "You love me," he teased.

Liam looked at him for a long moment, the silence stretching out between them, causing Zayn's offhanded comment to sound like more than he'd meant it to. "Maybe," Liam said finally, before looking down to button his jeans, like he hadn't just blown Zayn's mind.

 _Maybe_. Zayn could work with maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, but I hope you like the chapter! I'd love to hear what you think :-)
> 
> I'm on [tumblr](http://cupcakes-x-cocaine.tumblr.com/) if you want to come fangirl over Zayn with me!


	18. Chapter 18

**_It's been so long, it's been so long, maybe we're fireproof..._ **

Only, as he climbed into the drivers's seat and pulled back onto the highway, Zayn came to realize that _maybe_  kind of sucked. Actually, it really fucking sucked. It was too open to interpretation, and too far away from _yes_.

Fucking _maybe_.

It needled him the entire drive back into the city, because Zayn knew that there was nothing _maybe_ about what he was feeling. By the time they were saying goodbye in front of the firehouse Zayn'd worked himself up into a frenzy, not just because of the _maybe_  but also due to the way Liam was kissing him; hot, desperate kisses that proved that he needed Zayn as much as Zayn needed him, even if he wasn't willing to say it out loud the way Zayn wanted him to.

"Your new theme song," Liam broke their kiss to tell him as  _I'm Coming Out_ started playing, immediately capturing Zayn's lips again as soon as the words were out of his mouth. Zayn laughed against his lips, wishing more than ever that Liam didn't have to work that night.

"You sure you don't want to call in sick?" he asked for the tenth time.

"I _am_ suddenly feeling a little feverish," Liam admitted, groaning as Zayn dragged the heel of his palm across where he was straining against his jeans.

"You are pretty hot. We should probably get this shirt off of you," Zayn told him, his hand sneaking underneath it.

"Zayn..." Liam warned, grabbing his hand to stop it from tweaking his nipple.

"Let's get you home so we can play doctor. I'll have you feeling better in no time," he promised, moving his mouth to Liam's throat.

"Yeah? You wanna kiss it better?" Liam asked, his voice rough as he arched his neck.

"Baby, I'll kiss it better, suck it better, fuck it better...whatever you need. Just come home with me."

"So desperate for this dick," Liam teased, pulling back to look at Zayn as he cupped himself suggestively.

Zayn knocked his hand out of the way so that he could replace it with his own. "It's called enthusiasm, Liam, and it's a wonderful trait to have," he huffed, making Liam giggle. "Don't know what you're laughing about. At least I get to go home and jerk off in the shower. You'll be stuck in a roomful of guys with no privacy for the next twenty-four hours."

"Gonna save it all up for you, sugar. Give you a load you won't forget."

"Have you ever considered writing poetry?" Zayn asked, ducking his head as he tried to unbutton Liam's jeans. "'Cause you've got a real way with words."

Liam batted him away, holding Zayn's hands in his own to keep him from trying again. "Falling...for you...is gonna...bring me...nothing...but...trouble," he groaned, kissing Zayn between every word. His door was open and he was out of the car a second later, like he knew that he had to leave right then or he never would.

Zayn rolled down the passenger side window so that Liam could see his pout, but Liam just smiled, winking both eyes at him. "I'll see you tomorrow. Make sure you wear something pretty for our date," he said happily.

"I hate you so much," Zayn grumbled, dropping his head to bang it against the steering wheel. It sounded a lot like he meant the exact opposite, and Liam just smiled in return, blowing Zayn one last kiss before disappearing behind a fire truck.

Zayn banged his head again, frustration seeping through him as he realized that it was probably going to be a very, very long night.

He turned out to be right, time creeping by at a snail's pace, never ending seconds stretching out slowly, monotonous minutes ticking into unhurried hours. It felt sinful to be sleeping in that big bed all by himself, and the nervous energy he felt about their upcoming date ensured that what little sleep he got was fitful. Time seemed to pass by even more slowly the following day, and he found himself glancing at the clock repeatedly, as if he could will time to move more quickly through sheer force of single-minded wishful thinking. Not that he even needed to look at the clock to know what time it was, Liam sending him "T-minus" countdown texts every hour on the hour, revealing that he was just as eager for their night to begin as Zayn was.

But seven fifteen finally ( _finally!_ ) rolled around, leaving Zayn equal parts excited and anxious as he took a final glance in the mirror, pushing a wayward strand of hair back into place to ensure that he looked perfect for Liam. The girls had all teased him incessantly as he'd gotten ready, but for once he hadn't minded, kind of liking the way they kept repeating the word _date_  in reference to him and Liam, like they were a real couple.

A knock sounded at the front door as he straightened his collar, and he couldn't have kept the smile off of his face as he heard Doniya greet Liam if he'd tried. But he didn't even want to try, happiness coursing through him as he heard Liam's voice for the first time all day.

"Is he ready?" Liam asked, his tone hopeful.

"Did you just knock on your own door?" he asked before Doniya could answer, his laughter dying on his lips as he stepped out of the bedroom and saw Liam for the first time that night. He might as well have been seeing him for the first time ever, that was how blown away he was by how good he looked. 

He was wearing a tighter black leather jacket than the one Zayn usually saw him in, a white shirt and skinny black tie peeking out of it, looking every bit the rich kid that Zayn had assumed he was for so long. But then there was his face, lit up with a smile as he looked Zayn up and down, his eyes bright with excitement and tender with whatever he was _maybe_ feeling for him.

Zayn bit his lip, trying to think of words that could adequately express what he was feeling and finding none.

"Thank god you're here, Liam," Waliyha said, speaking up before Zayn had a chance to from her spot on the sofa. "He's been primping in front of the mirror for like an hour."

Zayn shook his head, coming to stand fully in front of Liam. "She's lying. I woke up like this."

Liam grinned. "Flawless."

Zayn couldn't help but grin right back, his fingers already itching to wrinkle Liam's fancy shirt and fuck up his perfect hair.

"I brought you these," Liam said quietly, his cheeks coloring as he brought his hand out from behind his back.

"You have got to be kidding me," Zayn groaned as his eyes landed in dismay on the dozen red roses in Liam's hand.

Liam's face fell. "Shit. This was- this was dumb, I know, I just-"

"No, it's not that, I just...ugh," Zayn said grimly, grabbing the bunch of wild flowers he'd bought on the way home from work from the coffee table. "I told you this was a stupid idea," he hissed under his breath at Doniya before turning and thrusting the flowers against Liam's chest. "Here."

Doniya and Waliyha both covered their mouths to hide their laughter, clearly delighted that their insistence that Zayn buy Liam flowers had resulted in _this_ , but Liam looked overjoyed.

Safaa skipped up to Liam, tugging on the sleeve of his jacket. "Can I come too?" she asked.

"Not this time, Saf," Zayn answered for him, looking down at her distractedly.

A pained look crossed her face as her eyes began to well. "But do you know how hungry I am? One hundred percent hungry!" she protested loudly. She was attempting to drag Liam to the ground by that point, her tiny hands grasping his larger one as she bent her knees and forced him to bear her full weight, a series of strangled moans escaping her lips as her tantrum threatened to turn deadly.

Liam crouched down so that he was at her eye level. "You can't come this time, but your sisters will make sure you get something good to eat, and you can have these, okay?" he told her, handing her both bouquets of flowers. "There's a pitcher under the sink, and I bet you can make them look even better if you mix them together. Will you try it and send me a pic? Please?"

Safaa sniffled, wiping the back of her hand against her eye as she nodded.

"That's my girl," Liam smiled, rising to his feet and ruffling her hair.

"We're leaving," Zayn told the older girls, shooting them one final dirty look before pushing Liam backwards and shutting the door behind them.

"I can't believe you got me flowers," Liam said with a disbelieving laugh as they made their way to his car.

Zayn cringed, embarrassed all over again as Liam opened his car door and helped him in, his fingers reassuring on his elbow. "Cut me some slack, okay?" Zayn said, raising his voice so that Liam could hear him as he walked around the front of the car. "The last time I went on a first date I was in the ninth grade. I'm not entirely sure how this is all supposed to work."

Liam grinned as he climbed in and started the engine. "I think I've just turned you into a total sap."

"You have," Zayn admitted with a pained groan. "It's at the top of the list of reasons why I hate you."

Liam beamed, sliding his eyes towards Zayn. "Keep telling yourself that, sunshine."

"That stupid nickname's on the list too."

"Okay, princess."

Zayn sighed. "It's a very long list."

"I'm sure it is, pooh bear," Liam all but cooed.

"Getting longer by the minute."

"Well, hopefully you won't have anything new to add to it when you see where I'm taking you," he murmured, suddenly sounding a little nervous.

"Is it a sex club? Please tell me it's a sex club," Zayn deadpanned, rubbing his hands together.

"It's not a sex club," Liam laughed. "It's a new restaurant Harry told me about. Supposedly they only let the coolest, sexiest people in there."

"Well, that sounds great for me, but where are you going to eat?"

Liam frowned at him, his brow wrinkling. "Hey, I don't try to be sexy, sexy tries to be me."

"Keep telling yourself that, sunshine," Zayn told him, using his own words against him as he looked out the window to see their intended destination, a valet waiting just outside the door to take Liam's keys. It was too early for there to be a line forming outside, but Zayn was sure that there would be one later, the bright flashing sign a beacon for anyone who wanted to see or be seen. 

Zayn knew the instant they stepped inside that it was the last place he'd ever have chosen on his own, the all white interior and staff dressed in matching milky tones screaming _pretentious_ , but as he felt Liam's fingers find his, he decided that he didn't give a fuck where they were, as long as they were together.

"Is this okay?" Liam asked under his breath. Zayn could hear the anxiousness behind his question, like he was really worried that Zayn would hate the place, and Zayn was quick to squeeze his hand reassuringly. "The guys all said that I needed to take you somewhere fancy, and I-"

"It's great," he whispered back, his lips curling up as he watched Liam smile in response.

"Payne, party of two," Liam told the hostess, scrunching his nose up to grin at Zayn as he said it, like he was proud to be able to lump the two of them together under his name.

Zayn nudged him with his shoulder as they were led to a table for two in the center of the room, wondering how he was supposed to wait until the end of the night to kiss him when he was being so fucking adorable.

"I could get used to this," he smiled at Liam as he pulled his chair out for him.

"Shut it," Liam warned, before turning to the hostess to accept the menu he was being handed. He opened it to read the wine list, immediately deciding on one, the four syllable name falling easily from his lips as he looked up at her with a polite smile.

Zayn scanned the list, his eyes widening as he came across the wine Liam had chosen, the price written next to it about ten times higher than he'd been expecting.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he leaned over the table to whisper. "You know you can get a bottle of Boone's Farm at Duane Reade's for like, nine ninety-nine, right?"

Liam smiled softly. "It's worth it, just to be able to see how pretty you look in candlelight."

"They sell those there too," Zayn assured him. "I'll buy a whole rack of 'em for you if you want."

Liam's smile faltered, so Zayn relented, knowing that Liam just wanted to make this night perfect for him.

"You look um, good too, you know. In the candlelight," he told him.  It was a bit of a lie, since Liam looked way better than _good_. _Good_  was practically an insult in comparison to how fucking hot Liam looked, the _maybe_  of compliments.

Liam lit up at the simple comment, smiling shyly. "Zayn..." he started, looking down as he traced an invisible pattern into the tablecloth.

"No, I mean it. You look like, really good."

"Look at you, being all sweet," Liam said, blushing fiercely as Zayn complimented him for what might have been the first time ever.

"Yeah well, don't get used to it," Zayn mumbled. His voice was gruff, but he was smiling too.

"You know, you're looking pretty good yourself," Liam assured him, glancing down at Zayn's partially unbuttoned black dress shirt.

Zayn smiled to let Liam know that he appreciated him speaking the truth. "You know what I like about you?"

"What's that?" Liam asked, nodding distractedly at the sommelier as he came over to pour their wine.

"You've got good taste."

Liam rolled his eyes fondly. "You know what I like about you?"

"What?"

Liam smiled, raising his glass in a toast, his eyes twinkling. "Everything."

Zayn ducked his head, pressing his lips into a thin line to hold back his smile as he clinked his glass against Liam's. "You're smarter than you look, Payne."

They'd both finished their first glasses by the time their waiter came to take their order (Zayn insisted on ordering the cheapest thing on the menu despite Liam's protests), and Zayn found himself scooting closer with every sip he took. He blamed the music at first, and then the couple at a nearby table, claiming that he couldn't hear what Liam was saying over their chatter, and then he gave up any and all pretense, moving to the seat directly beside Liam, so that there was no longer a table between him and what he wanted.

Because what he wanted was Liam. The wine was working to lower both of their inhibitions, the looks they shot each other getting more and more longing as their hands slid closer and closer on top of the crisp white tablecloth, until Liam was trailing his fingers up and down Zayn's hands, sending a shiver through him as he imagined him touching his body the same way.

Liam hooked an ankle around the leg of Zayn's new chair as soon as he sat down, tugging on it to bring Zayn even closer, until their knees were brushing. He propped an elbow on the table, cocking his head to the side as he looked over at Zayn. Zayn looked right back, mesmerized by the way the candlelight was flickering off of Liam's face and the slow slide of his shin rubbing against Zayn's calf beneath the table.

"We need to talk about something important," Liam said abruptly. 

"What's that?" Zayn asked, setting his wine glass down and growing concerned as Liam's expression turned serious.

Liam sighed, sitting back in his chair and giving Zayn the full weight of his attention. "What're you getting me for Christmas?"

Zayn let out a breath. "My mere presence is a gift to the world," he reminded him.

"Come on, tell me. I've got something really good picked out for you."

Zayn brought his glass up to his lips, stalling for time as he racked his brain for something - _anything_  - to tell him, because the truth was with everything going on he'd kind of forgotten that Christmas was right around the corner. "I was...I was just planning on riding you wearing nothing but your jersey," he said finally. "And a bow, of course."

Liam's face went completely blank, his eyes unfocused as he stared at Zayn without seeing him, and Zayn was pretty sure that he'd just witnessed Liam's brain melting. "Li? You alright there? Should I swap the bow for a Santa hat?"

Liam blinked, squirming in his seat. "I think all my blood just left my brain," he admitted, still sounding dazed as he reached under the table to adjust himself. "You'd really do that for me?" he asked, his voice low as he scooted his chair even closer to Zayn's, his knee moving in between Zayn's legs.

Zayn had only been kidding, but if this was the way Liam was going to react, well. Where the fuck was that jersey when he needed it? "If you think that's something you'd like," he murmured with a shrug.

"I like," Liam said, nodding his head vigorously. 

Zayn laughed, excusing himself to go to the bathroom before he did something stupid like drag Liam in there with him for a quickie.

"I'll miss you," Liam told him, not letting go of his hand until he was forced to. Zayn giggled softly, shaking his head to clear it. He smiled at himself in the mirror as he washed his hands, barely recognizing the person staring back at him. His eyes were bright, his cheeks flushed, and he looked so fucking happy that Zayn had to look away. 

He looked like a man in love.

But as he walked back to the table his smile faded, because _love_  was the last thing he was feeling, anger tearing through him as he spotted none other than motherfucking Conner, sitting in the seat that he'd just vacated like he had any fucking right to be breathing the same air as Liam. The only thing that kept Zayn from dashing to the table and tearing him limb from limb was the look on Liam's face as he listened to Connor speak, his boredom evident as he twirled a fork between his fingers, looking around the room idly.

But then Liam's gaze landed on Zayn, and because deep down he was still kind of an asshole even though he pretended not to be, his face lit up as he saw him watching them. He leaned in immediately, smiling sweetly at Conner even as his eyes stayed locked on Zayn's face.

Zayn knew that he had two choices: kiss him or kill him. He chose the former, marching over to Liam's chair and hauling him to his feet. His hands found Liam's face next, turning his head forcefully and connecting their lips, kissing him on the mouth with no warning. He kept his eyes open to glare at Connor, but the moment Liam's lips parted they fluttered shut of their own accord, his grip on Liam's cheeks softening as he deepened the kiss, until they were full on making out despite the fact that they were in in the middle of a crowded restaurant.

"That's what I thought," Zayn muttered as they finally pulled apart, sending Connor's retreating back the dirtiest look he could manage with Liam's hands still cupping his ass.

"You wanna piss on me next time?" Liam murmured, nuzzling his nose against Zayn's neck. "Might get the point across more quickly."

Zayn pulled back sharply, a question in his eyes. "Is that something you're into, or..."

"You're a real charmer, aren't you?" Liam groaned, pushing Zayn away from him so that he could take his seat again. But his hand found Zayn's almost immediately, pulling him down beside him.

Zayn sat down with a loud, labored sigh, his eyes scanning the restaurant to see where Connor had gone. "I cannot believe that fucker had the nerve to try to talk to you again," he grumbled.

"Don't worry; I'll protect you if he comes back to fight for me."

Zayn shot him a look. "Liam, I'm a cop. It's literally my job to protect people."

Liam shrugged. "Yeah, but..." he trailed off, like what he'd been about to say was so obvious that there was no point in him finishing his sentence.

"But what?" Zayn demanded.

Liam sighed, waving his hand in the air. "I'm stronger than you," he finally said, speaking under his breath like he was trying not to hurt Zayn's feelings.

"Just because you weigh more than me doesn't mean you're stronger. I have tactical training, which means I'd definitely win in a fight."

Liam's face brightened, and Zayn could practically see the light bulb turning on above his head. "We're totally wrestling later."

Zayn closed his eyes, shaking his head. "If all we end up doing at the end of the night is wrestling, then I'm actually gonna have to kick your ass," he promised.

"Foreplay," Liam said just as the waiter brought their meals over, raising his eyebrows suggestively. His smile faded as he looked down at the tiny portion of food on his plate, and the even tinier meal that had been set in front of Zayn.

"I'm sorry," he said as soon as the waiter had gone.

Zayn brought a hand to his mouth, trying not to laugh and failing miserably. "Don't be. It looks very...nutritious."

Liam didn't look convinced, his face distraught as he cut his steak into three inch-sized squares. "I promise we can order a pizza and hang out in our pajamas playing video games for our second date."

Zayn paused with his fork halfway to his mouth. "And what makes you so sure I'll want a second date?"

"I'd be willing to bet on it," Liam said knowingly, some of the light returning to his eyes, just as Zayn had hoped it would.

"Okay, so let's say I take this bet. What'll you get if you win?"

Liam smiled, leaning his head to the side. "A second date is the only prize I could ask for."

Zayn kind of liked the sound of that, but he did his best to keep the smile off of his face. "And if I don't want a second date? What'll I get?"

"A lifetime of sadness and regret, obviously," Liam told him solemnly, his lips turning down at the corners.

"Well I wouldn't want that, would I?" Zayn asked, nudging his foot against Liam's under the table. "Guess I better agree to that second date now, huh?"

"I think you kinda have to," Liam agreed. "Future Zayn would probably be pretty pissed at you if you didn't. And future Liam would be very sad."

Zayn raised his glass. "To our second date, then."

"To our second date," Liam echoed, clinking his glass against Zayn's. "And a very happy future Zayn and Liam."

Zayn really fucking liked the sound of that. He found himself grinning from ear to ear, unable to tamp down the happiness bubbling up within him.

He didn't even really mind the tiny portions. He was too excited to eat much, and based off of the very unscientific research he'd done online, he was pretty sure that he shouldn't be eating a big meal anyway. So he was content just to sip his wine and look at Liam, his lips moving in the most captivating way as he ran the tip of his middle finger around the rim of his wine glass, watching Zayn just as intently as Zayn was watching him.

"Did you just bat your eyelashes at me?" Zayn asked, the wine and the heavy weight of Liam's hand on his knee making him feel warm all over.

"Maybe," Liam purred, fluttering his eyes even faster.

"Are you having a seizure?"

Liam's expression changed in an instant, his gaze turning into more of a glare. "No, I'm being flirtatious, _obviously_."

"Well, you're really, really bad at it," Zayn assured him, twisting the stem of his glass between his fingertips and trying not to smile.

Liam didn't have any such reservations, his sudden grin transforming his face. "But it's working, isn't it?"

He was joy personified, and Zayn was hopelessly in love with him.

"Maybe," he granted, because he was possibly still a little bitter over Liam's word choice from the day before.

"You know," Liam leaned in to whisper, "when I thought of our first date, I always imagined that we'd be so busy talking that we wouldn't even notice that the restaurant was closing, like in one of those movies you're always making me watch, but now that we're here all I can think about is finally getting to be inside you," he admitted, running his hand up and down Zayn's leg.

Zayn licked his lips. "Is that what you're thinking about right now?"

Liam nodded, his hand sliding around to cup the inside of Zayn's thigh. Zayn spread his legs farther apart, his head already spinning with how much he wanted Liam. He leaned forward and angled his head to the side, closing the distance between them. He no longer cared that they were in public, unable to wait another goddamn second to kiss him again.

Liam seemed just as eager, his lips parting automatically so that Zayn's tongue could slide into his mouth. They both moaned at the contact, Liam's hand moving higher on Zayn's leg as Zayn reached up to cup the nape of Liam's neck, holding him to him. 

Zayn only allowed himself a moment to enjoy the taste of red wine on Liam's tongue, and the perfect way their mouths moved together, before forcing himself to pull back, knowing that if he didn't stop now that he wouldn't be able to.

It was one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do, and Liam looked like he felt the same way, their all too brief kiss leaving them both wanting more.

"You think your sisters would be okay without us for a night?" Liam asked breathlessly, squeezing Zayn's thigh a little tighter.

Zayn grinned. "What'd you have in mind?"

"There's a hotel not too far from here...one where we could be as loud as we liked. Think I'd really like getting to hear you scream my name when I'm fuck-"

"Check please!" Zayn interrupted to shout, raising his hand in the air to get their waiter's attention as Liam chuckled smugly.

They were in the car less than five minutes later, excitement written all over both of their faces. Try as he might, Zayn couldn't keep his eyes off of Liam, his gaze drawn again and again to his face, mesmerized by the way he managed to look equal parts adorable and hot as fuck, his round, flushed cheeks only making his sinful mouth look all the more enticing. 

Zayn wanted to wreck him, but he was pretty sure that Liam had the same plan for him. Unsurprisingly, he was totally on board with this, his cock already twitching at the thought of what the rest of the evening would bring.

"Shit, there's nowhere to park," Liam groaned, snapping Zayn's attention back to the present. Zayn looked around, confused as he saw that they were in front of a drug store and not a hotel.

"Supplies," Liam said as he tossed the keys to Zayn and hopped out of the car, somehow managing to make the word sound suggestive. Zayn climbed into the driver's seat, doing his best to ignore the cars that honked at him as they filed into one lane to drive by, knowing that they couldn't possibly realize that he was going to be double parked if he wanted to be double parked, because god fucking dammit they needed their supplies.

Luckily Liam was back in record time, his mouth open in a proud grin as he ran to the car and held two bags up.

"You buy the whole store then?" Zayn asked as Liam climbed in, amusement coloring his tone as he saw that both bags were full to bursting.

Liam smiled knowingly as he set the bags on the floor between his feet. "Had to stock up. I don't intend on either of us leaving the bed for at least the next twelve hours."

"What'd you get?" 

"Some protein bars, a few bottles of Gatorade - don't laugh, hydration is very important -, that wine you were talking about,  _lots_ of lube, and condoms, of course. _Magnums_ ," he added with a wink.

"You wish," Zayn scoffed.

"Pretty sure you won't be saying that in an hour," Liam murmured as he rubbed his palms up and down his thighs, looking out of the window excitedly. 

"Your modesty is really commendable."

Liam turned his head to face him, an incredulous look on his face. "Dude, have you seen my dick? It's a thing of beauty."

Zayn couldn't really argue with him there, so he stayed quiet, thinking about just how lovely Liam's dick really was. Liam mistook his silence for concern, and Zayn felt his hand on his thigh a second later.

"Don't worry, babe. Your cock ain't half bad either. I know I've got dibbs on topping first, but I fully intend on getting to know it intimately soon."

"I'm gonna hold you to that." Zayn bit his lip as he pulled into the underground parking lot of the hotel, all of his blood rushing to his cock as he imagined how good sliding into Liam would feel.

He climbed out of the car, pushing those thoughts aside because _this was actually fucking happening_. His heart felt like it was about to beat out of his chest, nerves fluttering through him. He smiled shyly at Liam as they approached the front desk, reaching for the hand that wasn't carrying the bags just because he could.

An older woman with graying hair and a stern face greeted them as they stepped closer, welcoming them to the hotel with a tight smile that did little to hide her disapproval as she looked them up and down, her eyebrows raising as she saw their clasped hands. Zayn automatically pulled his hand from Liam's grasp, watching as Liam shot him a troubled look before setting the bags on the floor in front of the desk.

"Do you rent rooms by the hour?" Liam asked her, his fingers splaying wide on the counter as he looked at her with round, earnest eyes, and oh my god, Zayn was going to die of embarrassment.

"He's kidding," he said quickly, kicking Liam in the shin.

"Damn straight," Liam agreed. "Need a lot more than an hour with this one, amiright?" he said with an indecent leer, grabbing Zayn around the waist and tugging him to his side. Zayn was pretty sure that his face was about eleven different shades of red at this point, but he stayed quiet, biting his tongue and vowing to get Liam back later.

The receptionist looked as horrified as Zayn felt, and she had little to say as she booked them a room and swiped Liam's credit card.

"I am going to murder you," Zayn hissed as they made their way to the elevator, the key to their non-hourly room clutched in his hand.

"Pffft, you can't be worried about what people like that think. Besides, we both know you're too pretty to survive in prison."

Zayn couldn't deny that he was right. "Good thing I'm a cop and know where to hide a body."

"Yeah, and you gonna kill me before or after I fuck you?" Liam wondered aloud as they stepped into the elevator.

Zayn paused, considering. "After," he ultimately conceded.

The look on Liam's face could only be described as _really fucking cocky_. "That's what I thought."

"You better be worth this mortification," Zayn warned.

"Oh, I am; I can promise you that much, baby boy."

"Stop," Zayn ordered, stabbing at the button to their floor repeatedly.

Liam laughed, moving the bag in his right hand into his left so that he could reach for Zayn. He pulled him towards him, his laughter quieting as he pushed him against the wall. Both bags fell to the floor as they started to kiss, deep and hot and all encompassing, all teasing from the moment before instantaneously gone.

They didn't break apart even as the elevator dinged and the doors opened, Liam reaching blindly for the bags as Zayn started walking him backwards, trying to keep his eyes open so that he could lead them in the right direction. He finally pulled back as he found their room, turning around so that he could slide the key into the lock. Liam's lips followed him, moving from his mouth to his neck to his shoulder as Zayn opened the door and pulled him inside.

Zayn walked quickly to the bed, already unbuttoning his shirt, but Liam stayed by the door, leaning back against it as he stared at Zayn. 

"You have no idea how bad I want you."

Zayn took a deep breath, feeling what little self-control he had melt away as he took in Liam's dark eyes. "Come and get me then," he said quietly.

Liam crossed the room in two long strides, dropping the bags in front of the bed and pushing Zayn's hands out of the way. "Let me," he pleaded, his fingers fumbling clumsily with the last few buttons of his shirt. He let it fall open as soon as he was finished, his eyes trailing from Zayn's stomach up to his chest and then his shoulders, his hands following the same path to push his shirt to the floor.

Zayn stood very still as Liam's hands moved to his belt next, the sound of it being unbuckled and falling to the floor very loud in the quiet room. He fought to control his breathing as Liam dropped to his knees, his eyes locked on Zayn's face as he unbuttoned his pants and slowly started to pull down his zipper. His pants were around his ankles a second later, leaving him standing in just a pair of red boxer briefs, his hard length clearly visible through the thin cotton.

Liam looked up at him again, smoothing his hands up Zayn's legs as heat coursed to every part of Zayn's body.

"You said you liked me in red, so..." he started, suddenly feeling very stupid as he remembered the first time he and Liam had ever hung out.

The light in his eyes told him that Liam was remembering as well, but he didn't seem to think Zayn was stupid at all, if the look of wonder on his face was anything to go by. He stood quickly, taking Zayn's face between his hands and kissing him firmly.

"Love you in red," Liam promised in between kisses, and there was no hint of _maybe_  in the way he said it. Zayn melted into the kiss, allowing himself to be pushed back onto the bed. Liam made quick work of his own clothes, and Zayn had to laugh at the hasty way he undressed, hopping around on one foot as he struggled to get out of his boots. 

"Is this a sneak peek at the smooth moves I've been promised for so long?" he asked, propping himself up on his elbows to get a better look as Liam tried to pull his shirt off over his head without unbuttoning it, a whine escaping him when it got caught on his hair. He'd never seen him move so gracelessly before, and his heart grew a little bigger at the thought that maybe Liam was just as nervous as he was.

"It's called enthusiasm, Zayn, and it's a wonderful trait to have," Liam told him, repeating his words from the night before back to him as he finally untangled himself. He knelt in front of the bags in just his black boxer briefs, digging in them for a few seconds before handing Zayn two candles and a lighter. Zayn sat up to take them, smiling as he lit them and placed one on each nightstand, the scent of fresh linen filling the room as he pushed the comforter off of the bed so that he was lying on top of the white sheets, a strip of condoms landing beside him.

He picked them up, counting out ten.

"Ambitious much?"

Liam's only response was a sexy grin that promised that he'd soon be wiping the smirk off of Zayn's face. "You want plain, vanilla, or strawberry?" he asked.

Zayn looked back and forth between the three economy sized bottles of lube Liam was holding up in dismay. "What, no grape?" he pouted, his eyebrows furrowing as he feigned disappointment.

"You know what? You're getting plain," Liam decided, tossing the other two bottles to the side. "Only good boys get the flavored stuff."

Zayn went to protest but found that he couldn't. Liam's words might have been harsh, but his touch was gentle, almost reverent even, as he climbed onto the bed, warm palms sliding up Zayn's legs to his hips. Liam bent over him, mouthing at his length through his boxers until he was fully hard again, his tongue hot even through the cotton. Zayn dropped his head back onto his pillow, unable to handle the way Liam was looking at him, his pink lips contrasting nicely with Zayn's boxers as he peered up at him from beneath his eyelashes.

"Can't believe I finally get to fuck you," Liam mused, crawling farther up Zayn's body, his hands tracing over the sharp planes of his chest. "Feel like I should send God a gift basket, to thank him for creating someone who looks as good as you do."  

Zayn reached his hands up and pulled him towards him, kissing him quiet as their bodies started to move together. Zayn could feel how hard Liam was, and it made him harder. He planted his feet on the bed so that he could have more leverage as he started to rut against him, their hard lengths rubbing together making his head spin. 

Liam stopped his movements all too soon, pinning Zayn to the bed with a hand on his hip as he began to rock against him, rolling his hips into him like they were already having sex. Zayn clutched at his back, moving to mouth at his shoulder to muffle his moans. But Liam must have wanted to hear them, straightening his arms and arching his back so that he could look down to where he and Zayn were rubbing against each other in the most perfect way.

"Need to stop," he panted, even as he rolled his hips again, and again. "Need to stop before you make me come."

Zayn's cock jumped at his words, and he knew that Liam wasn't the only one dangerously close to coming. As good as everything felt he didn't want to miss out on the chance for more, so he forced himself to nod his head, biting back a whimper of regret as Liam pushed himself all the way off of him.

"Fuck Zayn, I've never wanted anyone the way I want you," he murmured as he sat back on his heels and pulled Zayn's boxers off, throwing them behind his back carelessly. He settled between Zayn's spread legs, reaching for the lube and slicking his fingers up, his eyes blown black as he pressed one to Zayn's entrance, teasing his rim but not taking it any further. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Zayn breathed, letting out a low moan as Liam pushed inside. He was being gentle, only pushing in a little before pulling out to repeat the motion, and Zayn was already desperate for more. He was so hard, more so than he could ever remember being, the disaster of a restaurant and the ridiculous man before him somehow combining to make the perfect night, and he needed more. More Liam, and more of the way he was making him feel.

He dug his heels into the mattress and bore down on Liam's finger to show him what he wanted, and was rewarded when Liam quickly added another finger, smiling down at Zayn like he was the one who deserved praise.

Pain sliced through him as Liam began to scissor his fingers, but he didn't care, his cock pulsing more precome out onto his stomach. "More, please," he begged. "Need you so fucking bad, Li."

Liam nodded, looking pretty needy himself as he began to palm himself through his boxers.

"I've never been this goddamn hard in my life," he swore as he slowly added a third finger, watching as it disappeared inside of Zayn. The pain was almost too much for Zayn to bear this time, but Liam was right there, leaning over Zayn once more to take him into his mouth, sucking him off as he twisted his hand to gently work his fingers farther inside of him.

Zayn felt the head of his cock hit the back of Liam's throat just as his fingers nudged against his prostate, and suddenly the pain was all but gone, replaced by an almost overwhelming pleasure. Zayn pulled harshly on Liam's hair, needing to kiss him and fuck him and hold him close, all at once. Liam got the hint, pulling off of Zayn and leaning over him to grab one of the condoms.

He hastily pushed his own boxers down, kicking out of them and throwing them to the floor before sitting up on his knees and sliding the condom on with shaky fingers.

"My heart is beating so fast. Look, feel it," he said, grabbing Zayn's hand and pulling it to his chest with a breathless laugh.

Zayn didn't know what to say to that, hypnotized by the rapid pulse of Liam's heart beating under his palm, and the firm press of Liam's hand holding him close. And the way Liam was looking at him, _fuck_ , like he was the luckiest man in the world, when obviously that distinction belonged solely to Zayn. 

But maybe they were both lucky, he decided as he watched Liam slick himself up, his own heart pounding in a way it never had before, because as Liam gave him one last, lingering kiss on the lips before tapping his hip softly to get him to roll onto his side, immediately lying down behind him, nothing had ever felt so good, or so right, as everything did in the moment.

Liam's breath was hot against his neck as he spoke, his lips tickling his skin as he trailed his fingers teasingly up and down the line of Zayn's body, sending shivers through him. "Every morning for the past few weeks I've woken up just like this, wanting you more than anything. Wanting to push inside you, so that I could feel how tight you are. Wanting to hear you moan and make you come. You want that too, Zayn?"  

Zayn could only nod, his lip trapped between his teeth as he felt Liam lean away from him, lining himself up and pushing slowly into him. Pain tore through him, and he bit his lip harder to keep from crying out. But Liam, he could tell, of course he could, and he stilled immediately, sliding the arm closest to the bed under Zayn to wrap around his chest, holding him close.

Zayn tried to breathe through the discomfort, willing himself to relax so that this could start feeling good.

"I guess I'm the Payne in the ass now, huh?" Liam asked quietly, his voice tight with the effort of holding still.

Zayn sputtered out a laugh, causing his muscles to unclench a fraction, allowing Liam to slip in farther. Liam took advantage, pressing in as slowly as he could, his free hand sliding over Zayn's hip to wrap around him, stroking him up and down in time with the gentle pulses of his hips. He'd bottomed out by the time Zayn was fully hard again, the feel of the tip of his cock rubbing against Zayn's prostate enticing enough to help Zayn ignore the remaining traces of pain.

He arched his back, rolling his hips to let Liam know that he could move. Liam did just that, backing away from Zayn as his hands found his hips again, angling his body forward so that he could fuck into him more fully. Zayn moaned, gripping the sheets as all at once pleasure radiated throughout his body.

"So fucking tight for me," Liam groaned. "So good for me."

Zayn's cock throbbed at his words, and he knew that he wasn't going to last long, the weeks of waiting and wanting driving him to the edge without warning. "Harder, Li," he begged.

"Yeah, you want it harder, baby?" Liam asked, giving him exactly what he asked for as he started to push his hips forward with abandon. But his hand was gentle when it moved to hold Zayn's waist, as were his words as he leaned forward to kiss along the column of Zayn's throat. "You feel even better than I imagined. Wanna fuck you like this forever."

That was all Zayn wanted too, and he told Liam so, turning his head to the side as he reached an arm behind him to pull Liam's face to his, his other hand finding Liam's on his chest, fingers connecting automatically. "Don't ever stop, please," he panted against his lips. "Want this forever."

"Forever," Liam repeated, his hips moving impossibly faster at the word. And then they were kissing, hard and fast and desperate, a perfect portrayal of everything they felt for each other. "Gonna make me come so fucking hard," he promised, his thrusts slowing down in favor of grinding into Zayn, until all Zayn could feel was Liam's cock throbbing inside of him, and all he could hear was his name falling from Liam's lips, and all he could think of was _forever_.

Liam reached for him again, but there was no need, Zayn already there, his cock pulsing as he clenched around Liam, calling out his name as Liam fucked him through his orgasm and spilled inside him.

Liam held him tight for several minutes, leaving a trail of kisses across his shoulder and up his neck before finally pulling out. Zayn winced as he rolled onto his back, but the blissed out look on Liam's face was worth the dull ache he was already starting to feel, and he was almost positive that he wore a matching expression on his own face.

"Well, that was definitely the best ending to a first date I've ever had," Liam told him with a dazed smile, reaching for Zayn as soon as he'd thrown the condom away. Zayn curled up on his strong chest and wrapped an arm around him, hoping that maybe, just maybe, this wasn't the end of anything, but the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey what's up it's been awhile...sorry about the wait and I hope you liked the chaper!


	19. Chapter 19

_**'Cause nobody saves me, baby, the way you do** _ **_..._ **

Liam rolled onto his side, facing Zayn as he tucked his hands under his cheek and smiled. Zayn knew that he had to look terrible, his hair falling into his face and his lips bitten red, but Liam was looking at him like he was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, his eyes bright above flushed cheeks as he gazed at Zayn.

"Lemme guess, it was even better than you expected," he said, his voice sure as his grin got bigger.

Zayn frowned as he pretended to think about it. "It was a solid B-plus, but I think you need to try a little harder next time if you want an A."

Liam's eyes danced with mischief. "So what I'm hearing is that you want it harder, right? 'Cause I can give it to you harder," he promised, reaching out to grab him, his fingers curling around his hip and rocking him back and forth a few times before pausing to run his hand softly up and down Zayn's side, his smile fading. "But seriously, how do you feel?"

Zayn looked down, assessing himself for damage. "Sticky," he decided, the tacky feeling between his legs bothering him more than any minor aches and pains.

Liam laughed, his grip on Zayn tightening as he leaned in for a kiss that was far too fleeting in Zayn's opinion. "Why don't you go get cleaned up? But be quick about it, 'cause I fully intend to get you dirty all over again."

Zayn murmured his assent and stood, the promise of more to come the only thing that could coax him out of bed in that moment. He bent over Liam to steal one last kiss and then straightened, jumping to the side with a yelp as Liam sat up to smack his ass.

"Do you remember where you threw my boxers?" Zayn asked as he walked around the bed, picking up the comforter from where he'd pushed it to the floor to see if they were underneath it.

Liam's head was cocked to the side when Zayn glanced back at him, his eyes raking up and down his body. "I have absolutely no incentive to answer that," he said, lacing his fingers behind his head as he leaned back against the headboard.

"You like what you see?" Zayn asked, trying not to smile even though secretly he was thrilled at how much Liam seemed to enjoy looking at him, his eyes still on Zayn as he spotted his boxers laying crumpled on the other side of the room. He held them up in triumph, shooting Liam a look. 

" _Love_ what I see," Liam confirmed. That was enough to convince Zayn to stay undressed as he made his way to the bathroom, and if he added a little wiggle to his walk, well, it was only because he knew that Liam would like it, and he was past the point of pretending that he wanted to do anything other than make him smile.

Liam let out a low whistle as Zayn shut the door between them, and suddenly he felt stupid happy, joy flooding through him as he turned on the shower and waited for the water to warm up. He felt so close to something that he hadn't even known he'd wanted until recently, and while he was still afraid that one day it would all disappear, everything felt too good right then for him to focus on anything other than how much he liked being with Liam.

He stepped into spray of the shower with a smile, one that got bigger when he heard the bathroom door open less than a minute later. He didn't turn around, his head ducked under the water as he listened to Liam step inside the shower, the words to  _Baby It's Cold Outside_ falling softly from his lips, his voice barely above a whisper.

He stepped up behind Zayn, sliding his hands around his waist to rest on his stomach as he pressed his lips to Zayn's shoulder, dragging his stubble across his skin to tuck his face into his neck. "You're taking too long," he murmured. "I missed you."

Zayn leaned into his touch, enjoying the way Liam's lips moved against his skin as he spoke, and the sharp sting of his teeth on his earlobe as his hands slid lower, fingers splaying out over his hipbones, pulling him back into him. He turned around to face him as he felt his blood begin to flow with purpose, blinking water out of his eyes as he lazily draped his arms over his shoulders, tipping his head back and leaning in. Liam pulled back in the instant before their lips met, his teasing smile falling open into a laugh as Zayn followed after him urgently.

"Hey," Zayn sulked, twisting a fist into the short, prickly hairs at the base of Liam's neck to hold him still. "We have _weeks_ of not kissing to make up for. Do you have any idea how many kisses that is?"

"Um, a lot?"

"A shit-ton, Liam. We have a shit-ton of missed kisses to make up for."

"We better get started then," Liam gave in with a grin, pulling Zayn towards him until there was no space at all left between them, their bodies touching from head to toe as he bent forward, placing light, tickling kisses up Zayn's neck and along his jaw, slowly working his way towards his mouth as his hands ghosted up and down Zayn's sides, goosebumps breaking out in the wake of his fingers despite the warm water beating down on them. And then his hands were on Zayn's hips and his lips were on Zayn's lips, both of their mouths parting automatically, all teasing forgotten as Liam deepened the kiss immediately. Zayn groaned as Liam turned him to the side to press him against the wall, the cold tile at his back and the hot man at his front making desire bloom within him, lust causing his skin to catch fire as Liam's tongue pushed into his mouth, moving just as boldly as the hips rolling against his own. 

Liam moaned into Zayn's mouth as his hands clutched at his lower back, pulling him to him before forcing him back against the wall, like he couldn't decide what he wanted but only knew that he had to have Zayn as close to him as possible. He kissed him hungrily, desperately, like he needed him as much as Zayn needed him. Liam kissed him like he loved him, and that thought had Zayn gripping him tighter, scrapping his nails down Liam's back as he hitched a leg over his hip. Liam seemed to like that, his hand moving quickly to grip the back of Zayn's thigh to hold him in place as he pushed him harder into the wall, his teeth tugging on Zayn's lower lip before sucking it into his mouth.

Zayn staggered as Liam suddenly stepped back. He felt breathless and hot all over, and the only thing that stopped him from pulling Liam right back to him was the sight of him. Water skidded down his skin, making the hair on his chest glisten as he reached for the hotel body wash, drops racing to wet tight abs and narrow hips and the part of him that was fast becoming one of Zayn's favorite things in the entire world. Zayn couldn't believe that he was finally getting to see Liam like this guilt-free, and that after what seemed like an eternity of him being off limits he was finally allowed to touch him all over.

He wondered if he'd ever get sick of looking at him, or if one day his blood wouldn't turn electric when Liam touched him, sparks igniting wherever skin met skin. As Liam brought a soapy hand up to his chest, tracing over his wing tattoos with the tip of his forefinger before smoothing his palm down his stomach and then lower, Zayn couldn't imagine it, ever not wanting Liam as much as he did now.

Liam licked his lips as he curled his fingers around Zayn's length, eliciting a gasp from him as he began to stroke him slowly, rubbing him from base to tip. His palm was hot and his touch was expert, precome spilling from Zayn's slit as his pace increased, and all of a sudden Zayn just had to touch him too. He grabbed the body wash, pouring a generous amount into his hand and immediately moving to wrap it around Liam where he bobbed between them, hard and flushed a deep red, too turned on to bother with any teasing touches.

Liam huffed out a breath the instant Zayn touched him, his body jerking forward. He was so hard but his skin was so soft against Zayn's palm, and the way his cock pulsed in his hand as he slid it up and down his shaft was so hot, something Zayn had never before imagined but now never wanted to stop feeling. His free hand reached for Liam's shoulder to tug him closer, loosening his fist and angling his dick up so that he could jerk him off faster as Liam did the same to him. Zayn knew that he could easily come this way, the coil in his belly already tightening, but with Liam crowding into him like this, his forearm braced against the wall just to the side of his head and his knee pushing between his legs, all he could think about was how much he wanted him inside of him again.

He released Liam and shoved his hand away before pulling him flush against his body, their position an echo of what it had been a few minutes before, except that now they were both just as wet and slippery as they were hard, their bodies sliding against each other with tantalizing ease as their mouths inched closer.

"Yeah?" Liam asked against his lips, his hand trailing up Zayn's leg and over the small slope of his cheek to rub at his entrance. 

"Yeah," Zayn nodded hurriedly, hitching his thigh over Liam's hip again.

"Don't want you to be sore," Liam worried quietly. He sounded concerned but was already pushing a sudsy finger inside, like he couldn't stop himself, and Zayn was glad for it, because the last thing he wanted was for Liam to stop now.

Zayn lowered his eyelashes, his lips parting at the feeling of being full again, fingernails digging into Liam's skin where they were pressed into his back. "Worth it," he promised. And then they were kissing, and Liam was pushing another finger into him, Zayn's eyes rolling to the back of his head as he began to massage his spot. He rolled his hips, trying to simultaneously fuck back on his fingers and get more friction on his dick.

Liam slid his fingers out as they continued to kiss, moving both of his hands to Zayn's thighs so that he could lift him and press him into the wall. Zayn wrapped his legs around his back, angling his body up so that he could feel Liam's length rubbing against his hole as he rutted against him.

"Want you so bad," Zayn murmured against his lips, his hand gripping Liam's jaw so that he could kiss him harder. 

Liam welcomed his words, sucking Zayn's tongue into his mouth more forcefully before he pulled back unexpectedly, his hips stilling and his head dropping to Zayn's shoulder as he let out a frustrated groan. "The fucking condoms..."

"Are too fucking far away," Zayn finished for him, one hundred percent unwilling to let go of Liam for the thirty seconds it would take for him to walk into the bedroom to get one as he bent forward to kiss Liam's throat, his pulse throbbing under his lips. His words were enough for Liam start rocking against him again, his length slippery with soap and so, so close to pushing inside, the head teasing his rim every time he surged forward.

"We could..." Liam hesitated, his voice rough as he arched his neck, eyes falling shut as Zayn sucked at his skin. "I had to - _oh fuck_  - to get a physical to play in the league, and I haven't been with anyone since we met."

Zayn straightened, his heart beating wildly as he met Liam's gaze. "You haven't?"

Liam blinked at him, shaking his head. "Haven't wanted anybody but you," he said with a half-smile, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Zayn cupped his cheeks and kissed him then, because Liam was the only one he wanted too. And when he was done kissing him he braced an arm on his shoulder as he leaned more fully back against the wall, reaching down between them to guide Liam inside of him.

Liam slid in slowly, and they let out matching moans as he bottomed out before stilling, his hands fierce on Zayn's thighs. His muscles were shaking with the effort of holding him up, but he seemed unwilling to put him down as he began to gingerly move his hips back and forth, his length moving gently in and out of Zayn. Zayn wrapped both of his arms around Liam's shoulders, leaning forward to find his mouth, his tongue slipping past Liam's lips as Liam tilted his head to the side, allowing him to deepen the kiss.

The moment their tongues touched Liam's hips began to move more quickly, thrusting in and out of him faster and faster, his pace steadily increasing until he was pounding into him, his hips snapping back and forth frantically. The sound of skin hitting skin was loud in Zayn's ears, steam from the shower clouding his vision as the overpowering pleasure of Liam hitting his spot with every thrust made it all but impossible to keep kissing him. But he refused to move his mouth away, needing to taste every one of Liam's low moans and soft groans as Zayn started to roll his hips, allowing Liam to fuck into him deeper.

"You- like- it- like- this- don't- you?- Hard- and- fast-," Liam grunted, punctuating each word with a thrust. 

"Don't ever stop," Zayn pleaded, his words hot and desperate against Liam's lips. "Don't ever fucking stop."

"Yeah? You like it raw?" Liam demanded, circling his hips so that he could grind into Zayn.

Zayn's cock twitched, his head spinning from lack of blood as he moaned out in agreement. He squeezed his arms and legs tighter, gripping Liam harshly as the water continued to cascade over them, his entire body trembling as his orgasm rose up inside him. There was no way he could get a hand between them, but there was no need either, the wet slide of Liam's abs against his cock and the perfect way he was filling him up driving him to the edge as trembling turned into shaking and gasps became moans and Zayn didn't think he could hold out a second longer. Liam seemed just as close, his thrusts becoming erratic as he panted against Zayn's lips.

"Can I- fuck, can I come inside you?" he asked, his voice gruff, like the words were being ripped from his throat as he pounded into Zayn harder, and fuck, there was no way Zayn was going to say no to that. 

"Please. Need it," he begged, squeezing him tighter to let Liam know that he didn't want it any other way. Liam groaned as Zayn clenched around him, his fingertips bruising on his thighs as fucked into him one final time before stilling. 

"Taking it so good for me, babe, so fucking perfect for me," he swore as he started to come, a string of expletives accompanying each of his moans.

The feeling of Liam pulsing inside of him ripped Zayn's orgasm from him. His muscles tensed and his body shuddered as he came hard, spilling onto Liam's chest and stomach as his teeth dug into his shoulder, moaning his name into his skin as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over him.

They stayed like that for a moment, Liam still holding him tight as they tried to catch their breath. Zayn could feel Liam's heart slamming in his chest where they were pressed together, beating just as hard as his was. He stumbled when Liam set him down, his legs shaky and his pulse still racing. "Holy shit."

"My thoughts exactly," Liam agreed with a breathless laugh, his hands firm on Zayn's waist, holding him steady as his face grew serious. "I didn't...I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Zayn didn't have the energy to pretend for even a moment that he hadn't loved every fucking second of what had just happened. "That was..." Zayn struggled to find the words to describe how fucking good that had felt and came up empty, so he gave up, holding his hand up in the air, his palm facing Liam. "Good game."

Liam's laugh was louder this time, his smile wide as he gave Zayn a high five, his fingers sliding between Zayn's a second later, holding his hand against the wall as he leaned in to kiss him. " _Great_ game," he corrected. "And I'm glad I didn't hurt you."

Zayn rolled his eyes. "I took a bullet and didn't shed a single tear, so I think I can take your dick without breaking, Liam. And besides, I'm pretty sure you warned me you liked it rough the day we met."

Liam frowned, remembering. He picked up the bottle of body wash and started to clean Zayn up, his hands moving gently over his body as he avoided looking him in the eyes. "I shouldn't have said that to you. I just- you looked so good, in your jersey and all pissed off and I...that was before I got to know you, when all I wanted to do was fuck you, and-"

"What do you want to do now?" Zayn couldn't stop himself from asking.

"Well, I mean I uh, I still wanna fuck you, obviously, but um, it's different now, you know..." he stammered, tripping over his words. He was blushing fiercely, his cheeks the deepest shade of pink Zayn had ever seen them, so even though he was desperate to hear exactly what Liam wanted from him now, he decided to let him off of the hook.

"Yeah," he agreed, like Liam had already told him everything he needed to know.

"Though one day I'm gonna show you exactly how rough I meant when I said that to you," Liam said smoothly, seemingly recovered from his momentary embarrassment. "But don't worry, we'll work our way up to it."

Zayn was very much on board with that, but right then he was too tired to do anything other than let Liam take care of him, leaning into him as he washed away all traces of the fun they'd just had, his hands still lingering on Zayn's body as they stepped out of the shower, releasing him only so that they could dry off. Zayn swiped a hand through the steam coating the mirror so that he could fix his hair, his cheeks puffing up as Liam reached over him to draw a heart in the upper corner of the mirror, an arching arrow extending from it and pointing directly at Zayn's reflection. Zayn felt a warmth spread through him, beginning in his chest and blooming outwards. And his smile, it never left his face as he wrote out _Z + L_  across the bottom of the mirror, and he knew without looking that Liam was wearing a goofy grin of his own.

The hotel wasn't fancy enough to provide them with big, fluffy white robes like Zayn had seen in movies, but he decided that that was fine with him as he watched Liam's backside as he walked out of the bathroom, the intriguing way his boxer briefs clung to the curve of his ass making Zayn happy that robes weren't an option.

"Did you really only buy protein bars? I'm starving," he admitted as he sat down in the middle of the bed, pretzeling his legs as Liam upended one of the bags onto the sheets.

"I think I know you a little better than that," he scolded before tossing Zayn a bag of gummy bears, a bottle of cheap wine in his hand as he settled down across from him, mirroring his position.

Zayn ripped the bag open excitedly and poured some into the palm of his hand. "You are a god among men, Liam Payne," he said around a mouthful.

"Glad you're finally seeing the light," Liam murmured as he struggled to pull the cork out of the wine. He tilted the bottle back as soon as he'd managed it, grimacing as he took a drink. "Ugh, this tastes like ass." 

"I thought you liked that," Zayn reminded him.

Liam raised an eyebrow, his mouth straightening into a thin line. "Only when it's yours."

Zayn smiled proudly, reaching out for the bottle. He took a big gulp and immediately regretted it, the wine strong and bitter as it slid down his throat. "I don't remember it tasting this bad in high school," he said, risking another sip.

"I guess your tastes have improved in more ways than one since then," Liam said with a small, smug smile. 

Zayn hesitated at the indirect mention of Clark. "You know, she um...she guessed, about us. The other day. Said she could tell you liked me."

Liam looked delighted at this revelation, and his voice was haughty when he spoke. "And here I thought I was being so subtle."

Zayn snorted, holding a gummy bear up in the air and mimicking a throwing motion. Liam got the hint, opening his mouth wide and pumping his fist in victory when he caught it. "She uh, she kinda...she said she could tell that I like you too," Zayn confessed, lurching to the side to try to catch the gummy bear Liam tossed in his direction.

Liam's answering smile was blinding. "You like me. I knew it."

"I mean, you're both obviously wrong," Zayn continued, "but it's cute that you think that."

"Come on, how could you possibly be expected to resist all this?" he questioned disbelievingly, lying down on his side and sweeping his hand over the length of his body. 

Zayn looked him up and down. His hand had landed on his stomach, his fingers skimming along his happy trail. His boxers briefs were scrunched down on one side, revealing his hipbone and a thicker patch of hair, and he really did look pretty fucking irresistible. "You're really not my type."

Liam pouted, reaching out to walk a gummy bear up the side of Zayn's calf and over his knee. "So you don't like me?"

"No," Zayn said, shaking his head and trying not to laugh as Liam made the gummy bear start to dance. "You're awful."

"Not even a little bit?" 

"Okay, maybe I like you a little," Zayn conceded, feeling generous and wanting to see Liam smile.

He did, the corners of his mouth turning up shyly and the tips of his ears becoming pink, like he was surprised to hear Zayn finally admit that he liked him. "Just a little?" he asked, tossing the gummy bear behind him in favor of wrapping his hand around Zayn's leg.

Zayn pursed his lips, considering. "Maybe more than a little."

"Maybe...a lot?" Liam asked hopefully, his hand insistent where it rubbed up and down Zayn's inner thigh.

Zayn leaned back, looking away from the steady weight of Liam's gaze to take another drink of wine. "Don't push your luck, Payne," he warned as he stood and walked towards the television opposite the bed. "Movie?" he asked, holding up the remote. Liam nodded, so he tossed it to him, setting the bottle down and grabbing his phone out of the pocket of his pants before climbing back into bed.

Liam had scooted back and was leaning against the headboard, an angelic smile on his face as he patted the spot next to him. "Why don't you park that sweet little ass over here?"

For a guy made up of so much muscle Liam was surprisingly comfy, and it was embarrassing, really, how quickly Zayn went to him. He slid under the thin sheet, the outside of his leg lining up with Liam's as he settled back against his chest happily, his head resting against his shoulder. Liam wrapped an arm around his chest as he began to flip through the channels, and Zayn automatically reached up to hold his hand where it lay over his heart. 

He sent Doniya a quick text to tell her that they wouldn't be coming home, and she responded with a series of see-no-evil, hear-no-evil, speak-no-evil monkey emojis to let him know that she didn't need any details of what they were getting up to, followed by a picture of his and Liam's combined bouquets, arranged together in a pitcher that was way too small for so many flowers.

It shouldn't have worked. The deep, rich red of the roses should have looked harsh next to the soft purple lilacs, and the ivory baby's breath should have clashed with the bright white daisies. But somehow it looked amazing, two beautiful things coming together to make something even better. Zayn shook his head, cringing internally at what a lovesick loser he was becoming, first buying Liam flowers and now thinking about shit like this. But he still tilted the screen up to show Liam, and he still smiled when Liam seemed to think the same thing that he had, the arm around Zayn's chest squeezing him a little tighter as he dropped a kiss on the top of his head.

"You still hungry?" he asked. "I can order some room service if you want."

"No, what I want is for you to stop spending money on me," Zayn grumbled, setting his phone on the nightstand. A thought occurred to him suddenly, and he sat up so that he could look at Liam. "You didn't cash that check, did you? I know they didn't give you that money with no strings attached, and I don't want them forcing you into doing anything you don't want to do. You-"

"I know, I know," he interrupted. "Don't worry, I didn't cash it. I've been saving up for this for awhile."

Zayn looked at him skeptically. "How long?"

Liam shrugged a shoulder. "How long ago did we meet?"

"I dunno, couple months ago, I guess," Zayn said, feigning ignorance even though he knew exactly when Liam had walked into his life and turned everything upside down. "Why?"

"'Cause that's how long I've been saving up to give you the perfect night," he grinned.

"Fuck off," Zayn said with a smile, leaning back against Liam's chest again so that he couldn't see how hard he was blushing. "You have not."

"I have," Liam insisted, skimming his fingers lightly up and down Zayn's bicep. "And you're right about my parents. My dad started talking about night classes before the ink was even dry, so as soon as you said you didn't want the money I knew I was gonna give it back. And I'm actually glad you didn't take it, because plan B has already been put into motion."

"Really?" Zayn asked, wondering what he could have up his sleeve.

"Yeah, really. But don't worry, if it doesn't work out I've got a plan C."

"Well, do I at least get to hear what that one is?"

Liam's hand stilled, cupping Zayn's shoulder as he bent forward to whisper it into his ear. "Plan C is that you'll just have to live with me forever."

Zayn's forehead crinkled in surprise as he turned his head back to look at him, and while he was sure that Liam was probably kidding he still could feel his heart thumping enthusiastically inside his chest at the thought of forever with Liam. Liam was looking down at him fondly, but also a little nervously, and Zayn couldn't stop himself from moving forward to kiss him. He could feel Liam smiling against his lips and he smiled too, deciding that he was probably a terrible person, because a big part of him was now hoping that plan B was a complete and epic failure.

They kissed for a while longer; soft, teasing kisses that had Zayn giggling into Liam's mouth as he trailed tickling fingers all over his skin. Soon they were too tired to kiss anymore, or to do anything but lie pressed against one another, arms wrapped around each other in a hug as their breathing evened out and their eyes slowly closed, Liam's quiet humming reverberating deep in his chest where Zayn's head lay, lulling him to sleep.

And as Zayn drifted off, his last thought was that he hadn't known that it could be like this; comfortable and easy but also teasing and passionate. He hadn't known that it could be this perfect.  

He woke up the next morning when the bed dipped behind him, his eyes fluttering open to see through a slit in the curtains that the sun was already high in the sky. He closed his eyes quickly, hoping that Liam would think he was still sleeping and curl up next to him. He wasn't disappointed, Liam's hand sliding down his side to rest at his waist, his chest pressing into his back as he started to kiss him, starting at the tattoo at the top of his spine and working his way over Zayn's shoulder to his neck.

"I know you're awake," he murmured into his skin. 

Zayn tried to keep his breathing steady as his eyes stayed resolutely closed, refusing to admit that he wasn't sleeping when Liam was touching him like this. Liam propped himself up so that he could see Zayn's face, leaning down to skim his lips along Zayn's jaw, his breath minty fresh when he spoke.

"Really wish you'd wake up, babe," he said, kissing just under Zayn's ear. He barked out a soft laugh as Zayn subtly arched his neck, showing him where he wanted his mouth. He complied, nipping at Zayn's throat as his nails dragged down Zayn's abs. "Kind of wanted to fuck you one more time before we have to head home."

Zayn opened his eyes immediately, moving Liam's hand between his legs to show him just how down he was with that idea. Liam rubbed his palm over him through his boxers, and Zayn could feel him getting hard, his hips rocking forward a fraction as his length plumped up. Zayn groaned, allowing himself a moment to push back against him before he forced Liam's hand away.

"Just gimme a sec," he told him as he pushed himself out of bed and walked quickly to the bathroom, relief washing over him when he saw that Liam had set out toothbrushes and toothpaste for them, because he knew that there was no fucking way that he wasn't about to kiss the hell out of him. He cleaned up as fast as he could and opened the bathroom door, disappointment settling in his chest because why the fuck was Liam still wearing his boxers?

He was sitting up, his back pressed to the headboard and his legs stretched out in front of him on top of the sheets, and he looked so fucking sexy, his hair tousled and curling down onto his forehead, a pen trapped between his teeth as he stared down at the white, square-shaped card in his hand, that for a moment Zayn could barely breathe.

He finally pushed himself away from the door frame, needing to touch every inch of skin that Liam had on display for him. "Whatcha got there?" he asked, climbing back into bed.

"It's a guest satisfaction survey, for the hotel. Thought maybe we could fill it out."

"Right now?" Zayn asked incredulously, seriously considering taking the card out of Liam's hand and ripping it to shreds.

"Come on," Liam cajoled, poking Zayn with the pen. "It'll only take a minute."

"Fine," Zayn huffed. "But then we're fucking."  

Liam giggled, actually fucking giggled, sounding more like a twelve year old girl than a grown man as he tucked his chin into his shoulder, and Zayn couldn't believe that he'd ever been naive enough to think that sleeping with him would somehow get whatever he felt for him out of his system. It'd done the opposite, and he now knew with every fiber of his being that there was no going back to the time when he'd been able to convince himself that loving Liam wasn't inevitable; the only possible conclusion to the story that'd begun the moment he'd tackled him on the field.

He leaned back against the headboard next to him, dropping his head to Liam's shoulder so that he could read the small black writing. He watched as Liam checked off _Excellent_ for cleanliness, _Fair_  for amenities ("did you see how shitty the porn selection was?") and  _Poor_  for the service they'd received, muttering something about "judgmental old hags" as he did so.

"How would you rate your overall stay?" Liam paused to look over at Zayn. "Definitely choosing _Exceeded expectations_  for this one."

Zayn raised his head to look at him, his eyes narrowing. "I'm not sure whether to take that as a compliment or an insult."

"Oh, it's definitely a compliment. My expectations were pretty damn high, but you exceeded every one of them," he said, his smile soft as he bent over the card, checking off the correct box with a flourish.

"Would you come again?" Liam read aloud. "That's an easy one," he murmured, writing out _Again and again and again!!!_ in blocky handwriting. His eyes scanned the rest of the card before turning towards Zayn. "We might as well not even finish filling this out," he said in dismay. "There's not nearly enough room in the comment section for me to list all the reasons why this was the best hotel stay ever."

"Just draw a picture of your dick," Zayn suggested helpfully.

"There's definitely not enough room for that," Liam assured him, flinging the card aside before reaching for him, moving him until they were both lying diagonally across the bed. Zayn went willingly, spreading his legs so that Liam could fit between them as he hovered above him, propped up by his forearms, which were resting on either side of Zayn's head where it lay on the bed.

"So...the best ever?" Zayn asked, raising his eyebrows as he looked up at Liam hopefully.

"The best," Liam confirmed as he dipped down to kiss him, "in the history of hotels," he paused to kiss him again, "or ever."

Zayn smiled, his hands wrapping around Liam's waist as Liam let the kiss last this time, his tongue slipping between Zayn's lips waking him up better than the water he'd splashed on his face in the bathroom ever could, his senses coming alive as Liam settled down on top of him.

"It really was a pretty perfect night," Zayn murmured when Liam moved his lips to his neck. "Thank you, for everything."

Liam kissed down the column of Zayn's throat, his teeth biting softly into his collarbone. "Wish I could make every night perfect for you," he whispered, his lips meeting the ones tattooed on his chest in a lingering kiss.

Zayn wanted so badly to tell him that he did; that he was already looking forward to spending the evening cuddled up with him on the couch, watching dumb movies and eating bad food, and that he knew that he'd love their second date just as much as he had their first, because he didn't need fancy restaurants and pristine hotel rooms to have a perfect night. The only thing he needed for that was Liam.

But he stayed quiet, biting his lip as Liam moved lower, dragging his mouth across his abs, the rough scratch of his stubble leaving red skin in its wake. He kissed along the waistband of his boxers, his fingers dipping under them to tug them down enough to reveal the tip of Zayn's length. It was hard and glossy with how much he wanted Liam, made wetter a second later when he smoothed his lips over it, kissing it as slowly as he had the rest of Zayn's body. His tongue moved over it gently, swirling and flicking and licking as he sucked Zayn into his mouth.

Zayn's abs rippled, his muscles tensing with the effort of holding still, wanting Liam to set the pace. He let out a whimper of regret as Liam sat up, pulling Zayn's boxers off as he went. He stood to shuck his own to the floor, letting Zayn see how turned on he was as he reached for a bottle of lube. 

"Gonna make you feel so good," he promised, kissing the inside of Zayn's knee as he climbed back into the cradle of his thighs, a slick finger moving to his entrance as the scent of vanilla filled the room. He glanced up at Zayn, pushing a gentle finger in as soon as Zayn nodded at him.

Zayn spread his legs wider and reached for him, pulling him down half on top of him so that he could kiss him. Liam's mouth was just as careful as his fingers, kissing Zayn like he was something precious that needed to be protected. Zayn kissed him back the same way, his hands caressing every bit of skin he could reach as Liam opened him up.

As soon as he deemed him ready Liam pulled away, sitting back on his heels between Zayn's thighs and pouring more lube into his hand. He spread it over every inch of his length, his eyes never leaving Zayn's face as he teasingly rubbed his cock over Zayn's rim, his other hand warm on Zayn's hip.

"There's something about you," he said softly, his voice the only sound in the quiet room. "Don't think I'll ever get enough of you."

Zayn's stomach fluttered at his words, or maybe it was his heart, he wasn't sure. All he knew was that he couldn't get enough of Liam either. "Don't want you to," he whispered, because it still felt like a secret. He closed his eyes as soon as he'd said it, the way Liam was looking at him making him want to say so much more than he should.

He gasped as Liam started to push inside, trying not to wince at the stretch, because Liam had been right; he was sore. But Zayn had been right too, because it was worth it. Watching the way Liam's mouth hung open in pleasure as he began to move, and feeling the thick of him throbbing inside of him, would have made pain a million times worse than the insignificant ache he was feeling now worth it. 

Liam draped Zayn's legs over his thighs, looking down to watch as his length slowly disappeared inside him. "No one has ever felt as good as you do, Zayn," he told him, undulating his hips lazily. Zayn lit up at the praise, squeezing around him tighter, wanting to drag a moan from him. 

It worked, a moan rumbling from deep within his chest as Zayn licked his lips, needing to taste it. Liam's hands trailed up and down his legs with fingers made of fire, his skin blazing wherever he touched him, until his entire body felt like it was burning in the best way possible. He arched his back as Liam dicked into him deeper, precome making his stomach sticky as he hit his spot.

Liam leaned over him, grinding into him, his hand cupped under the back of Zayn's knee to push it against his chest. It felt so fucking good, Liam's cock rubbing against his prostate as he rolled his hips in small circles, not giving Zayn a second to breathe as pleasure washed over him, again and again. It felt too good in fact, Zayn's length throbbing with every pulse of Liam's hips, pressure building at the apex of his thighs all too soon. He knew that he was close to coming, and he wasn't ready for this to be over, not yet. 

He laid his leg back on the bed and pulled Liam down on top of him, not wanting there to be a single sliver of space between them as he brought their mouths together. Liam kissed him eagerly, balancing his forearms on either side of Zayn's head as he slid his tongue into his mouth. Zayn wrapped a leg over his lower back, rolling his hips up as Liam began to lengthen his thrusts, pulling almost all the way out before pushing back in.

"I love this," Liam murmured, moving his mouth to Zayn's ear. "Being with you."  

Zayn clutched at Liam's back, his eyes squeezing shut as a shiver ran through him. "I love it too."

"Never wanna stop."

Zayn felt drunk on Liam's words, as high as the stars in the sky. Liam was taking him apart with slow strokes and soft smiles, his whispering kisses and teasing touches making Zayn melt into the bed. He let Liam lead the way as he made him ache with arousal, his length and his words and his kisses driving him closer and closer to the edge, again and again, until Zayn couldn't take it anymore. But each time that he thought it was too much - that he had to come right then or he'd die -  Liam let up, slowing things down just to start them back up again.  

Zayn could tell that having sex with Liam was going to be just like kissing him, sometimes soft and slow and sometimes hard and fast, but always perfect. And as perfect as this was, Liam's skin slick with sweat under his fingertips, his moans loud in his ear and his heart beating like a drum against Zayn's own, Zayn could feel his orgasm racing towards him and he knew that he couldn't hold back any longer.

"Need to come so bad, Li," he begged, kissing Liam's jaw and cheek and then his mouth, moaning into it when Liam's thrusts began to speed up. Liam pushed himself up and Zayn immediately went to wrap a hand around himself, his breath hitching in anticipation. Liam didn't let him, grabbing it with his left hand and holding it to the bed, his fingers tangling with Zayn's.

"Let me take care of you," Liam pleaded as his other hand curled around Zayn where he wanted it most. "Wanna make you feel better than anyone else ever has."

"You do," Zayn promised breathlessly, every nerve in his body singing with satisfaction as Liam began to stroke him in time with the movement of his hips. "I'm so fucking close."

Liam nodded, pumping into him faster as he squeezed Zayn's hand tighter. "Gonna come with you."

Zayn moaned, clenching around Liam as his body started to tremble with the need to come. Liam ran his thumb over the head of Zayn's length as his cock twitched and throbbed inside him, spilling into him as he moaned his name. That was all it took for Zayn to come undone, coming over Liam's fist and onto his stomach as he chanted his name - the only thing he could allow himself to say out of fear that he'd say too much - like a prayer, _Liam_ tumbling from his lips over and over, until Liam closed the distance between them to kiss him. Zayn was grateful for it, the soft press of his lips and the gentle slide of his tongue stopping him from thinking too much about what he'd been so dangerously close to saying.  

But even if Zayn wasn't saying it he was thinking it, and as Liam pulled out to lie beside him, his lips finding his shoulder as his arm slid around his waist, obviously not caring about the mess if it meant he got to hold Zayn close, he hoped that Liam was thinking it too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I sat down to write this part I fully intended to wrap up all the loose ends so that this could be the last chapter before the epilogue, but somehow they ended up never leaving the fucking hotel. Whoops. Apparently this book is never ending. Sorry about that.


	20. Chapter 20

**_'Cause nobody knows you, baby, the way I do..._ **

Unfortunately, Liam's next words told him that that wasn't what he was thinking, not at all.

"You wanna go see how plan B is coming along? Since we don't have a game today?" he asked, sitting up and stretching his arms above his head.

Zayn thought that it was a terrible idea, one of the worst he'd ever heard honestly, if the alternative was staying in bed with Liam and pretending that plan C was the only option.

"Sounds good," he said anyway, running his hand through his hair to stop himself from reaching out for Liam as he climbed out of bed and began to move about the room with way too much energy, like he hadn't just fucked Zayn into the mattress for the better part of an hour. Zayn, on the other hand, made no move to get up, his limbs still too heavy from the force of his orgasm to even consider attempting to stand.

"Cool. Just gonna hop in the shower, then we can head back to the house and pick the girls up," Liam said as he grabbed his towel from the floor and headed towards the bathroom. Zayn frowned at his retreating back, because if anything could have persuaded him to get out of this big, comfy bed, it would have been the chance to shower with Liam again. 

Luckily, Liam seemed to be thinking along the same lines, pausing in the doorway to look back at him. "You coming?" he asked, one side of his mouth curled up in a hopeful smile.

"Wouldn't want to waste water, I guess," Zayn grumbled, ignoring the skeptical look Liam shot him as he pushed himself out of bed and joined him in the bathroom. 

This shower was a lot less intense than their last one had been, but just as nice in its own way, Liam's laughter loud in the small room as Zayn used up all of the shampoo trying to shape both of their hair into mohawks, Zayn's own laughter quieter but just as genuine when Liam dragged him out of the stall so that they could look in the mirror to see whose looked better (Zayn's did, he was sure of it, despite Liam's insistence otherwise).

And then there were the kisses, Liam's mouth pressing distractedly against Zayn's chest when he reached for the body wash, his lips dropping casually onto Zayn's shoulder as he spun him around to wash his back, like kissing him had become instinctive, something he was unconsciously driven to do every single time he got the chance.

Zayn welcomed this new development, because Liam kissing him was infinitely better than Liam not kissing him, even when he knew that it wasn't going to lead to anything more. Not that this stopped him from trying to get Liam at least a little worked up, his teeth and tongue unrelenting on Liam's neck when he tilted his head back to rinse his hair. 

Liam groaned as Zayn mouthed just under his ear, pushing him away from him before Zayn could make sure that it turned into a moan. "I know you're probably thinking that I'm some sort of sex god, based on my performances last night and this morning, but I think I'm gonna need at least like, an hour, and probably some food, before I can go again."

"Weak," Zayn chided, before looking down and arching an eyebrow, his gaze fixed on where it seemed like Liam might be at least a little interested in another round. "You sure about that?"

Liam sighed. "I'm actually a billion percent positive that you could convince me otherwise very easily. Pretty sure we've already determined that I'm not very good at saying no to you," he said with a pointed look.

Zayn smiled at that, taking it as proof that maybe Liam was just as whipped as he was. Not that Zayn was actually whipped. If he was, could he really have turned away from Liam then, climbing out of the shower despite the fact that sex was still very much a possibility? Obviously not. 

"I'll have to remember that for later," he smirked, handing Liam a towel as he followed him out of the shower.

"Why do I get the feeling I'm going to regret admitting that?" Liam asked, stepping up beside Zayn where he stood in front of the sink.

"Don't worry, I'll make it worth your while," Zayn promised, squeezing toothpaste onto Liam's brush before adding some to his own.

"I'm gonna hold you to that," Liam told him, his hand finding Zayn's side as they began to brush their teeth, watching each other in the foggy mirror. Zayn elbowed Liam as his fingers turned tickling, trying and failing to shove him away when he turned his head so that he could slobber a frothy kiss onto his cheek. 

"So fucking gross," he groaned, trying to sound stern despite his laughter as he wiped his face off. "Don't do that again," he warned him.

Liam turned to Zayn with an evil grin, his lips still coated in white. "Or what?" he asked, reaching for him. 

Zayn backed away just in time, calling, "Come try it and find out," over his shoulder as he darted into the bedroom.

Liam seemed perfectly willing to do just that, following Zayn from the bathroom a second later and groaning when he saw him sprawled out on the bed, waiting for him with a smile. "You really are nothing but trouble, aren't you?" he asked, lifting his towel to wipe his mouth off.

Zayn dropped his head to the side and batted his eyelashes prettily in response, his fingers playing over the knot holding his towel together.

"Don't," Liam pleaded, holding a hand up. "We only have ten minutes 'til checkout, and even if we had longer we need to be at your apartment by noon."

Zayn narrowed his eyes, wondering how visiting his disaster of a house could possibly be more important than having sex with him. "Whatever," he muttered under his breath as he rose to his feet. "Didn't want to fuck you anyway."

Liam laughed at that, and just looking at his happy face made Zayn want to laugh too. The happiness he'd felt the night before was still there, buzzing under his skin, making him feel wired and awake and _alive_. So while a part of him was dreading the end of their first date, a bigger part of him was already looking forward to their second, and their third. How could he not be, when Liam was looking at him like that, his gaze soft and his smile bright as they packed up their supplies. 

"Hey, honey bunny?" he asked from across the room.

"Yeah?" Zayn responded automatically, then immediately cursed himself for having answered to one of Liam's stupid nicknames so easily.

Liam's face was lit up like he'd just won the lottery when Zayn chanced a glance at him, but he must not have been as dumb as he looked, because he didn't say anything about Zayn's slip-up. "Can you call my phone? I can't find it."

"Sure," Zayn mumbled, still embarrassed as he pulled his cell out of his pocket. He smiled when he opened it to see that Liam had added a picture to his contact information, a selfie of him lying in bed that he must have taken while Zayn had been sleeping filling his screen. He looked so handsome that Zayn didn't even care that he'd gone into his phone without asking, especially since for the first time in a long time he didn't have anything to hide.

And then he saw that Liam had also changed his contact name and his smile fell, his lips pressing into a thin line as he struggled not to laugh.

"'The Payne Train?' Really, Liam?"

Liam shrugged unapologetically. "You're obviously not as good at giving nicknames as I am, so I thought I should think of one for me."

"And that's the best you could come up with?"

"Come on, sunshine," Liam said with a knowing smile, "you know you can't wait to hop aboard the Payne Train again."

Zayn groaned but didn't deny it, turning his attention back to his phone. "You don't look very happy in this picture," he said, noting Liam's frown and the lines marring his forehead where his head lay against the pillow.

"I was being sexy," Liam scolded, like that should have been clear. 

Zayn scrunched his face up. "Were you though?"

Liam laughed wholeheartedly, closing the distance between them and pushing the phone out of the way so that he could place his hands on Zayn's hips. "Now whenever I call or text you, you'll see that pic and remember our first date," he said, bending his knees a bit to better see Zayn's expression.

Zayn was pretty sure that he'd be thinking about last night a lot, with or without this picture. But he still liked it, and he kissed Liam to let him know just that, leaning in until their lips were slotted together, his hands landing on Liam's chest. "Do you still need me to call your phone?" he asked when he pulled away.

"No, it's been right here the whole time," Liam admitted unabashedly, patting his pocket.

Zayn rolled his eyes and gave him a light shove, wondering how he'd managed to fall for the biggest dork on the planet. But maybe deep down he was a dork too, because he kind of loved all the effort Liam put into everything, not only with their date but also with little stuff like this, like he was completely unafraid to show Zayn just how much he liked him. 

He felt that it was only fair for him to at least try to do the same. "Do you want me to take a picture on your phone? For when I call you?"

Liam shook his head and Zayn felt a flash of disappointment, one that vanished when Liam stepped back and pulled his cell out, handing it over to show him that he'd already added a picture to Zayn's contact information. It was one of the ones that he'd taken their first night together, before the fight and the fire and everything that had followed. Zayn's hair was a mess in it, his skin flushed and sweaty and his lips swollen and red, and even though he wasn't smiling it was somehow evident how happy he'd been in that moment.

"I was so mad at you when I woke up the next morning, but I still couldn't stop myself from emailing it to my phone so that I could see it every time you called," Liam confessed. "You have no idea how hard it was not to answer with this face looking up at me."

_I'm sorry_ , Zayn thought, because he really was, for how long he'd taken to get his head out of his ass when it came to Liam, and for how much he'd hurt him in the meantime. But he was also really happy, because this meant that Liam had been thinking about him and missing him even when he was unwilling to take his calls. He took a deep breath, not wanting to think about any of that, let alone say it out loud, not now that things were so different between them.

"I do look pretty fucking hot," he agreed solemnly, earning an eager nod of agreement from Liam that made him smile. "But I gotta say I'm a little disappointed. No nickname?" he added, pointing at the screen of Liam's phone.

Liam laughed, taking the phone back. "An oversight on my part, clearly. Gonna change it to 'Honey Bunny' right now."

"Don't you dare."

"What, I thought you liked that one? How about 'My Boo'?"

"You know what? Let's just stick with Zayn," Zayn decided, picking up the bags and heading towards the door.

"'Bae'?" Liam suggested as he followed him into the hallway. "Isn't that what the kids call each other these days?"

Zayn shook his head in feigned disdain, now more certain than ever that he'd never be able to match Liam's level of dorkiness. But apparently a lack of enthusiasm on his part did nothing to dampen Liam's, his smile still bright when they stepped off the elevator despite the fact that Zayn had shot down his last dozen suggestions. "Don't worry, I'll find one you like eventually," he promised. 

Honestly, Zayn was more than okay with that, because he never wanted him to stop trying.

The old woman at the front desk had been replaced by a much younger, much prettier girl, one who smiled a little too big at Zayn as he dropped their room key off, flipping her blonde hair off of her shoulder as her gaze flitted briefly to Liam before returning to him. Zayn smiled back, but he could see Liam looking back and forth between them out of the corner of his eye, and it took everything he had not to flirt with her, just to get Liam back for embarrassing him the night before.

Zayn smirked when Liam draped an arm over his shoulder and turned him away from the woman, the movement easy yet somehow still possessive. "Don't worry," he said, nudging Liam with an elbow to get him to look at him. "I've recently discovered that she might not really be my type."

"Oh yeah?" Liam asked, curling his arm around Zayn's neck to tug him a little closer. "And what is your type?"

Zayn shrugged. "Ask me again when our first date is officially over. I'm still weighing my options."

"Guess I better make sure our kiss goodnight is perfect then, huh?" Liam asked, his smirk matching Zayn's.

"I guess you better," Zayn agreed, feeling a ridiculous flutter of excitement low in his belly, his lips tingling in anticipation of their next kiss despite all the ones they'd already shared.

It was raining when they pulled up in front of Liam's, one of those heavy downpours that had the potential to turn into a beautiful snowfall if the temperature would just drop by a few degrees. But Zayn found himself not even minding the dreary weather when Liam ran around to his side of the car, unzipping his jacket so that he could hold it over their heads as they ran towards the house. The makeshift umbrella was mostly ineffectual against the rain, but that was okay with Zayn, since it gave him an excuse to wrap an arm around Liam's waist, holding him so close that their heads bumped together as they stepped into the garage.

Liam laughed as he laid his jacket on the floor, moving his head from side to side like a dog to shake off the rain before lifting a hand to wipe a stray drop from Zayn's cheek. Zayn leaned into the touch, resisting the urge to brush his wet hair off of his forehead because he didn't want Liam to move away from him. He took a sharp intake of breath, the air between them suddenly electric as he watched Liam's eyes fall to his lips. Liam inched closer and Zayn didn't back up, couldn't back up, really, because all he wanted to be was closer. 

He felt breathless from the short jog in the rain, and from the way Liam was looking at him, and he wanted nothing more than to push him up against the wall and kiss him, hard, or to drag him back outside and into his car; anything, really, that would keep their date from officially ending and reality from crash landing on top of him.

Liam smiled and inclined his head towards the stairs, and Zayn could tell that even though Liam wanted to kiss him as badly as Zayn wanted him to, he had his heart set on a proper end of date kiss on his doorstep. It made Zayn smile to know that Liam had it all planned out in his head, and he followed eagerly behind him as he hurried up the stairs, wanting it to be just as perfect as Liam had imagined it. And yeah, he'd probably be lying if he said that he hadn't imagined it a few times as well. 

As they neared the door Zayn looked over at Liam to find that Liam was looking at him, too, and he couldn't stop himself from reaching for his hand, their fingers lacing so that their palms could press together. The simple touch calmed some of the nerves that had started creeping in, and Zayn took a deep breath, trying to come up with a way to put into words exactly how he was feeling without giving away too much.

Liam pulled him to a stop when they reached the front door but made no move to open it, instead turning to face him and taking his other hand. Zayn could tell that he had something that he wanted to say, but he cut him off, needing to speak first so that Liam would know just how much the past sixteen hours had meant to him. 

"That was the best date I've ever had," he blurted out quickly, biting back the  _with a guy_ on the tip of his tongue, because he didn't want to lessen the weight of his words with a joke. "Like, ever ever," he added instead.

"Me too," Liam admitted shyly. "I feel like I'm never gonna stop smiling." 

His happiness was infectious, his smile somehow spreading to Zayn's face, like the width of it, and the joy contained within it, were too great for one person to keep to themselves. His tongue darting out to lick his lips didn't hurt either, nor did the way he leaned in slowly, his movements hesitant like he wasn't perfectly aware that Zayn was dying to kiss him again. Because Zayn was dying to, his hands reaching for the front of Liam's shirt to tug him closer as he tilted his head to the side.

Their mouths met in a gentle kiss, their lips pressing together softly. Zayn sighed into it, his hand moving to the back of Liam's neck, wishing that they could stay like this forever as they kissed again, and again. Their lips barely parted, and their tongues never touched, but with Liam's arm wrapped around his waist and his hand cupping his face to hold him in place and the memory of their perfect night embedded in his brain, Zayn felt like it was the most meaningful kiss they'd ever shared.

"Well...?" Liam prompted when they finally broke apart, his arm still curled protectively around Zayn's back and his thumb still caressing his cheek.

"I don't know," Zayn smiled, knowing immediately what he was after, "I think I might need another kiss before I can make an educated decision."

"I guess I can live with that," Liam murmured, leaning in to kiss him again, a little dirtier this time, his teeth dragging across Zayn's lower lip as his hands settled enticingly low on Zayn's back, pulling him flush against him.

"Alright," Zayn said when they broke apart. "She's definitely not my type."

Liam's eyes lit up. "She isn't?"

"No," Zayn said, shaking his head resolutely. "I like brunettes."

Liam frowned at that, obviously hoping for more, and Zayn couldn't resist giving it to him. "You," he said softly, ducking his head for an instant before looking up from under his eyelashes to meet Liam's eyes. "You're my type."

Liam's answering smile was blinding, and Zayn had to fight to urge to match it with one of his own as he added, "Apart from the fact that you're a fucking fireman."

Liam laughed and kissed him again, moaning a little as Zayn slotted his thigh in between his legs, his arms wrapping around his back to hold him tight as he slid his tongue into his mouth.

"They're home!" he heard Safaa shriek as he pushed Liam into the door, his back hitting it with a thud. Zayn groaned when Liam pushed him away, chuckling as he dug in his pocket for his key. "I missed you!" she yelled as he pushed the key into the lock and swung the door open.

Zayn crouched down and opened his arms for her, but she ran right past him, barreling into Liam and wrapping her arms around his legs. 

"Hey," he pouted, poking her in the side repeatedly until she finally let go of Liam and turned to give him a hug. "Didn't you miss me too?

"I guess," she conceded, patting his back distractedly before pulling back to look up at him with wide, questioning eyes. "What's a walk of shame?"

Zayn turned his head sharply towards his other sisters, who were sitting on the sofa and attempting to look innocent. "Ain't no shame in my game," he told them with a sly grin, one that grew wider when he saw that Liam's expression was identical to his own; a little bit conceited and very much satisfied.

"Would you look at that smile," Doniya murmured in wonder, before turning to Liam. "Nice work, Li. Don't think I've ever seen him look this happy."

"Zayn?" Safaa tugged on his sleeve, trying to bring his attention back to her. "Did Liam make you smile?"

"He sure did," he told her, then looked at the older girls and added, "A couple times actually."

The only thing louder than Doniya's laughter was the sound of Waliyha groaning from beneath the pillow she'd buried her head under.

"That was nice of him," Safaa said, shifting from one foot to the other and looking confused as to her sisters' reactions.

Zayn couldn't help but agree. "It really was, wasn't it?"

Liam took a step closer, sliding his arm around Zayn's waist as he leaned in to whisper in his ear. "The pleasure was all mine. Can't wait to do it again tonight."

Suddenly Zayn was the one who felt like he was never going to stop smiling. That was, until Liam reminded him of the plan for the day.

"You guys ready to go see how your apartment's coming along?" he asked, receiving three _yeses_  in varying degrees of excitement from the girls and silence from Zayn in response. "Perfect. We're just gonna get changed and then we can go."

Zayn followed him into the bedroom, trying to work up some enthusiasm for the task ahead and instead being met with an empty suitcase and a hamper full of dirty clothes. "Remind me to pick up some clean clothes when we're at the house, okay?"

"You can wear this if you want," Liam offered from where he stood in front of his dresser, tossing a sweatshirt back towards Zayn.

Zayn caught it and quickly threw off his shirt from the night before, knowing at once that the sweatshirt would look fantastic on him, its light blue a striking contrast to his dark skin and hair. It fit him perfectly, and had been made so soft from frequent washings and wearings that it _almost_ made up for the firehouse emblem on the breast. "You know you're never getting this back, right?" he said, deciding right then and there that he was keeping it forever.

Liam turned to look at him, his eyebrows raising as he looked Zayn up and down. "That's okay," he breathed. "I kinda like seeing you in my clothes."

Zayn liked that he liked it. "Think we've got time for a quickie?" he asked hopefully, inclining his head towards the bed.

"Oh my god, I've created a monster," Liam groaned, rolling his eyes and pushing him back into the living room and out the front door. They were on the road a minute later, Zayn in the passenger seat next to Liam and his sisters filling the backseat as the rain pounded down around them.

"So, how was your date?" Waliyha asked.

"Well... ," Zayn started, turning to look back at them before glancing over at Liam, who was biting his lip. "The restaurant was terrible and the food sucked."

"Oh," his sisters gasped in unison, all clearly disappointed. 

"So you didn't have a good time?" Waliyha pressed.

Zayn and Liam locked eyes, their pinkie fingers brushing on the console between them. "It was perfect," they said at the same time, which was met by a chorus of _awwws_.

Liam quickly turned his face back towards the road, but not before Zayn noted that he looked as happy as Zayn felt.

"Ready for plan B?" Liam asked as he pulled to a stop in front of Zayn's apartment.

Zayn looked out of the window, past the rain to the building in front of him, wondering if it would ever feel like home again.

"As ready as I'll ever be," he sighed, opening his door and squatting down so that Safaa could hop on his back, knowing that she was probably a little bit scared to see the house again for the first time since the fire and hoping that keeping her close would make her feel safer.

By the time they reached the fourth floor Zayn knew that one thing he definitely hadn't missed was the stairs, and he could only hope his response to his apartment, and plan B in general, was more positive. "You mind getting my keys, Liam?" he asked when they reached his front door, motioning his head towards his pocket as he raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Liam shook his head, grinning as he opened the already unlocked door to reveal an apartment that looked far less damaged than it had the last time Zayn had seen it, along with a very sweaty Harry and a paint splattered Niall.

Zayn took a step inside, moving Safaa to his hip as he looked around. The busted out window had been replaced, and while scorch marks on the floor were still clearly visible, the ones on the wall had been covered by fresh drywall, its half-painted state explaining Niall's yellow streaked face and clothes. Large white splotches revealed where the ceiling had been patched, and all in all Zayn could barely believe that this was the same room that had been so recently declared unlivable. He turned to Liam, overwhelmed by everything. 

"Did you do all this?" he asked him, rubbing circles into Safaa's back as she tucked her face into his neck.

Liam shook his head fervently, unwilling to take credit even though Zayn knew that none of this would have been possible without him. "I just made the initial phone calls. These guys handled the rest."

Doniya took a step towards Niall as Zayn passed Safaa to Waliyha so that they could go grab some things from their bedroom. "You did this?"

"Nah," Niall said, his face turning a shade of red that Zayn hadn't known could occur outside of a cartoon. "Harry here did most of the heavy lifting."

Harry shook his head, clapping Niall on the shoulder. "He's being modest. I'd barely have been able to get started if it was for him."

"It was nothing," Niall insisted. "Nate's dad owns a hardware store and donated the window, and the captain passed a hat around the station to cover to cost of drywall and paint. Not sure what we're going to do about the floor, maybe a rug for-"

"Thank you," Doniya interrupted, rushing forward to give him a hug, and yep, apparently it was possible for his face to get even redder.

Niall looked anywhere but at her when she released him, clearly flustered until his eyes landed on Zayn. Or more namely, on Zayn's shirt. "You traitor," he gasped.

Zayn looked down, confused until he remembered that he was wearing Liam's firehouse shirt. Harry noticed at the same time, his booming laughter filling Zayn's ears as he turned to glare at Liam. And Liam, the bastard, was laughing too. Zayn realized at once that Liam had known they were about to meet up with the boys and that he'd encouraged him to wear the shirt anyway, and his mind immediately went to all of the ways he could murder a man without getting caught. Actually, he didn't even give a fuck if he got caught, as long as-

"One slide down your pole and he's ready to hang up his badge and become a firefighter," Harry stage whispered to Liam, practically wheezing from the force of his laughter.

"Look who's got jokes," Zayn grumbled, deciding that this was the perfect time to grab some clean clothes. He stomped towards the closet and began shoving clothes into his backpack, Niall joining him just as he zipped it closed, the disgusted look he'd been wearing a minute earlier (mostly) gone from his face. 

"So, how was it?" he asked excitedly, because Zayn may or may not have talked of nothing but Liam and their upcoming date for their entire shift.

Zayn sighed, all of his anger draining out of him as quickly as it'd come. He felt a little lightheaded at the memory of everything that had happened since Liam had picked him up the night before. "He's a talker," he whispered conspiratorially before he could stop himself, chuckling because of course the guy who never shut up would carry that trait into the bedroom.

"What?" Niall's face was a mask of confusion, his forehead scrunched up until his eyes suddenly widened, realization dawning. "Ew, gross," he groaned, bringing his hands up to cover his ears. "I was talking about your date, you daft prick."

Zayn felt his face flush. "Oh, whoops. It was okay, I guess."

"Just okay?"

"No, it was uh, it was good," he said quietly. "Better than good, really. Like, kinda great." He was trying to sound unimpressed but didn't think it was working; he could feel the corner of his mouth creeping up in a smile against his will but couldn't bring himself to turn it into a frown.

Niall smiled like that was exactly what he wanted to hear, punching Zayn in the shoulder. "Good for you, mate. I'm happy for ya." 

Zayn shook his head, trying not to smile. "It's no big deal; just one dumb date."

"Must of been something special, to make you switch teams like that," Niall continued, and Zayn wasn't sure if he was talking about the girl/guy thing or the cop/fireman thing, so he just rolled his eyes, waving his hand dismissively as he looked over at Liam. He was on the receiving end of a fist bump from Harry, and Zayn wondered if they were having a similar conversation.

"You think you two will be a real couple now?"

"What?" Zayn asked, turning back to Niall. "Oh um, I don't know. It's complicated."

Niall looked dubious. "Is it really though?"

Zayn couldn't even think about the possibility that Liam might not want to be a couple, so he definitely didn't want to talk about it. "I'm gonna go check out the kitchen," he told Niall in lieu of answering, because he really did want to look at the repairs more closely. It had nothing at all to do with the fact that that was where Liam was.

"Thank god this survived," Liam said as he approached, jerking a thumb towards the calendar he'd pinned to the cork board what seemed like forever ago. It was singed around the edges but that only seemed to add to the overall effect, like the picture of Liam was so hot that it might have caused the fire in the first place.

"I dunno, I was kind of hoping it'd be destroyed so we could replace it with a photo shoot of our own."

Liam patted his pockets frantically, before calling out, "Does anyone have a lighter?"

Zayn smirked, spinning on his heel and heading into the living room before he did something stupid like kiss Liam in front of everyone. He sat down on the sofa that had served as his bed for so long, letting out a deep sigh. It felt more uncomfortable than he remembered it being, all hard lumps and soft dips and broken springs, and he wondered how he'd ever get used to sleeping on it again. 

But he would have to, he realized as he looked over to see Liam picking Safaa up, his hand looking huge on her back as he led her around the kitchen, his voice carrying enough to let Zayn know that he was telling her that she would be safe here now.

This was what Liam wanted; for Zayn and his sisters to be out of his apartment. That much was clear, but what wasn't so clear was what that meant for Zayn and Liam. Maybe this was just a casual thing for Liam, and maybe he didn't see their relationship going anywhere long-term. Which was- it was fine, honestly. Zayn would just stay with Liam for as long as he wanted him and after that, well whatever. He'd move on. That was what people did when casual relationships - ones where people were only _maybe_  in love with each other and definitely weren't whipped - ended, right?

The problem was that Zayn wasn't exactly sure, because he'd never had a casual relationship before. He didn't even know how one was supposed to work. But that was obviously what Liam wanted; otherwise he wouldn't have worked so hard to ensure that Zayn and his sisters could leave his apartment as soon as possible.

So Zayn could do that, no problem. If casual was what Liam wanted, then casual was what he was going to get. He could date other people, for all Zayn cared, or-

"I didn't think they'd be able to get this much done this fast," Liam said as he sat down beside Zayn, startling him. Zayn looked over at him curiously, noting that he didn't sound overly thrilled that the repairs were coming along so quickly.

"I can't believe you set all this up," he said, before pausing. "It's um, it's great," he finally forced himself to add.

"Yeah, really great," Liam agreed, his voice monotone as he stared down at his hands.

Zayn looked away from him, biting his lip as he twisted his fingers into the hem of his sweatshirt. "So...I guess we can move back any time now?"

Liam turned his head towards him, a question in his eyes. "I guess, but...I mean, the fire inspector still has to sign off on it. I uh, I can try to pull some strings if you want to get back here over the next few days, but-"

"No," Zayn said, a little too quickly. "I mean, you've already done so much for us, and there's no rush, right? Unless you want us out right away, which is fine-"

"No no, there's no rush for me either. And I wouldn't want to bother him over the holidays, you know?"

Zayn nodded his head slowly, aiming for nonchalant and probably missing by a mile. "Yeah, I bet Christmas is a busy time for him."

"Besides, I don't think your tree would survive another trip," Liam added, his sudden smile making its absence over the last few minutes all the more noticeable.

"So, it's okay if we stay with you until Christmas?" Zayn asked, just to be sure.

"Yeah. It's more than okay," Liam assured him quietly, nudging his knee against Zayn's.

Zayn gave Liam a small smile, finding his hand where it rested on the couch between them. Liam threaded their fingers together as he scooted a little closer, and Zayn felt a spark of hope shoot through him, because there was nothing casual about the way Liam was looking at him, or how tightly he held onto his hand even as the others joined them.

By the time they'd finished the pizza he'd ordered and he'd had to begrudgingly admit that he was grateful to not just one but multiple firemen, Zayn felt exhausted, the prospect of not being able to see Liam everyday overwhelming. He collapsed onto his and Liam's bed the moment they got home, planning on a short nap but instead waking to find that night had already fallen. 

"Wake up, sleepyhead," Liam murmured. He was leaning over Zayn, his breath warm on Zayn's cheek as he kissed along his jaw. Zayn reached for him, tugging him down on the bed next to him. Liam went willingly, allowing Zayn one chaste kiss before pulling back. "How do I look?" he asked. 

Zayn leaned back to glance up and down Liam's body, squinting his eyes to see him better in the dim light. "Not bad," he lied.

"Just 'not bad'?" Liam pouted, and fuck he really did look adorable when he stuck his lower lip out like that.

"You a'ight," Zayn conceded, admiring the way Liam's tight navy henley stretched across his broad chest, and the way his jeans clung to his thighs. "And while I appreciate the effort," he said, smoothing his hand down Liam's side to rest on his hip, "you really didn't have to get all dressed up just to hang out with me."

Liam sat up, his expression troubled as he looked down at Zayn. "Don didn't tell you?"

Zayn frowned, pushing himself up. "Tell me what?" he asked warily.

"She asked me to come to the club with her tonight," Liam said as he rose to his feet. "Just to like, hang out at the bar while she works."

"I'm sorry, _what_?" Zayn demanded.

"It's just- some weird shit's been happening, so she wants me to be there."

Zayn swung his legs over the side of the bed, picking up his sweatshirt from the floor and pulling it over his head. "What kind of weird shit?"

"Notes in her locker, a rose left on the bar for her, that kind of stuff. She's pretty sure it's this new manager who's always hitting on her, so she figures that if I'm around..." Liam trailed off, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"That he'll think you're her boyfriend and leave her alone," Zayn finished for him.

"Exactly!" Liam said, thrilled that Zayn seemed to be seeing it the same way.

Zayn did not see it in the same way, and he was about as far from thrilled as one could get.

He pursed his lips and looked at the ceiling, like he was actually considering that this might be a good idea. "So, basically you're saying that instead of having a second date here with me you're going out to a club without me, so that you can pretend to be my sister's boyfriend?"

"Um...yeah, that's pretty much the plan," Liam said, his voice a lot less sure than it had been a moment ago as he picked up on Zayn's mood.

Zayn stood, needing a minute to wrap his head around this. He didn't look at Liam, instead heading directly towards the kitchen.

"Zayn? Are you-" Liam began as Zayn started to leave the room.

"Just grabbing a drink; be right back," he called to him without slowing.

He walked into the kitchen to find Waliyha standing in front of the open refrigerator door and he stopped, tapping his foot impatiently to get her attention. "You planning on moving some time today?" he asked when that didn't work. "I need to get some water."

She took a step back, gesturing towards the fridge with a sarcastic flourish. "What's your problem? You and Liam get in a fight or something?"

"Liam who?" Zayn muttered, grabbing a water bottle and untwisting the cap as Doniya walked into the kitchen. "Hemsworth? Neeson? I know a lot of Liams."   

Waliyha just shook her head, backing out of the room as Doniya started to clear away their dinner plates.

"I take it you heard about the plan for tonight?" she asked wearily.

"Yes and what a fine plan it is," he exclaimed, then immediately felt bad when her face fell. "Why didn't you tell me someone was messing with you?"

She shrugged. "You've had a lot going on, with Clark and all, and I didn't want to bother you."

"You wouldn't have bothered me. Maybe there's something I could have done."

" _I'm_ doing something. This was the only thing I could think of, to let my manager know I'm not interested without risking my job."

Zayn couldn't really fault her for her plan, just for Liam's role in it. And if he were to think too deeply about it he might be forced to admit that what bothered him more than anything was that Doniya was going to be, for a few hours at least, calling Liam her boyfriend, which was something Zayn didn't know if he'd ever be able to do.

"Liam's just being a good friend," she said, interrupting his thoughts. "Don't take this out on him."

"Um, I'm not?"

"You are, otherwise you'd be in there saying goodbye to him, instead of in here sulking."

He shot her a dirty look, wondering why he couldn't be free from persecution in any room of the house. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just really thirsty," he insisted, taking a big gulp of his water to prove his point.

"I'm sorry I'm taking your man for the night, and I promise I'll bring him back in one piece," she said, and suddenly Zayn couldn't be mad at her anymore, not when she'd just referred to Liam as _his man_. But he could still be mad at Liam, he decided a second later when none other than the pretend boyfriend himself walked into the room, his eyebrows raising when he saw Zayn leaning against the kitchen table. "I'll give you two a minute," Doniya said.

Zayn stopped her before she could leave the room, bending forward to give her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Be careful tonight," he told her.

"Everything alright?" Liam asked once they were alone. "I thought you were coming back to the bedroom."

"I was going to," Zayn said in a clipped voice, "just as soon as I finish my drink."

"Can I have a sip?" he asked, holding his hand out as he closed some of the distance between them. Zayn turned his head, looking Liam dead in the eye as he screwed the lid back on the bottle and calmly placed it on the table behind him, just out of Liam's reach.

Liam stifled a giggle, like he thought this whole situation was hilarious, so Zayn, of course, had no choice but to glare at him as he folded his arms across his chest. "Something funny, Liam?"

"No, of course not," Liam said, clearing his throat and trying to look serious. "I just came in here to tell you that I really wish you could come tonight."

"Well, I don't. It sounds super boring," Zayn said, moving as far away from Liam as possible, making sure to bring the bottle of water with him.

Liam immediately took a step towards him, looking conciliatory. Zayn let him move closer, but only so that he could reach up and ruffle a hand through Liam's hair to keep it from making that annoyingly attractive swoop that it always did. Liam didn't stop him, but one look at him and Zayn was smoothing his hair back into place again, not because he felt bad, but because Liam looked even sexier all rumpled like that, and Zayn didn't need for him to be any more of a temptation for others than he already was. He tried buttoning up his henley next, but despite his best efforts he couldn't keep Liam's chest hair from peeking out, and he definitely couldn't keep Liam from looking hot as fuck.

" _Anyway_ ," Zayn said, abandoning the impossible task of trying to make Liam look bad, "how are you going to convince people you're her boyfriend?" he asked, before getting more to the point. "Will there be kissing?"

"Only if she's really lucky," Liam laughed. 

Zayn took a step away from him so that he could properly stare him down. Liam sucked his lips into his mouth, obviously trying not to laugh even as he held his hands up in surrender. "Listen, I'm a really good actor, so I'm sure I won't have any problem convincing everyone, even without any kissing. Hey, do you think I should do an accent? How about British? Good day, mate! Fancy a spot of tea?"

"I thought you were supposed to pretend to be her boyfriend, not embarrass her to death."

"Bloody hell," Liam continued, his accent getting thicker with every word. "Don't get your knickers in a bunch, love."

"Back to the kissing thing," Zayn said, ignoring him. " _Will there be any_?"

"Hey," Liam said, placing a tentative hand on Zayn's waist. "You know there's only one Malik I want to be kissing, right?"

"I don't know,"  Zayn shrugged, looking down at the floor. "You guys make a very cute couple."

"Not as cute as you and me though," Liam assured him, earning a half smile from Zayn. "And I can promise I won't have as good a time as I would if you were there," he told him, nudging Zayn's chin up with his finger so that he could see his face. 

"Obviously," Zayn said dryly.

Liam laughed and leaned in, trying to kiss him, but Zayn turned his head away at the last second, forcing Liam's lips to land on his cheek.

"Come on, don't be mad."

Zayn huffed, rolling his eyes. "I'm not mad, Liam; I'm just very busy and important and I don't have time to be kissing you every time you want me to."

Liam slid his arm around Zayn's side, his hand a warm presence on his back. "What if I promise to make it up to you later?"

Zayn's face softened slightly, but he still refused to look at him. "Tell me more, about this making up," he grumbled, allowing Liam to pull him a little closer.

"I was thinking," Liam started, skimming his lips along Zayn's jaw to his ear, his voice low, "that by the time I get home your sisters will all be asleep or out, and that I could bend you over this table and show you how much I missed you." He punctuated his words by pushing Zayn up against said table, his hand slipping under the hem of his shirt to trail his fingers across his lower back to the waistband of his boxers.

Zayn felt his pulse pick up and he turned his head, tilting it so that his lips were level with Liam's. "That sounds like a lot more fun for you than me," he lied. Liam barked out a laugh and then they were kissing, and Zayn was more upset than ever that Liam was leaving, because this was all he wanted to do for the rest of the night.

"Oh god," he heard Waliyha groan. He pulled away from Liam to see her standing in the doorway, one hand covering Safaa's eyes as the other landed on her hip. "You guys are going to be one of those gross couples who can't keep their hands off of each other and make everyone around them sick, aren't you?"

Zayn laughed nervously, unsure of how Liam would react to her calling them a couple. But he just smiled and looked back at Zayn. "Fingers crossed," he said quietly.

Zayn didn't know how to respond to that, but he was saved from having to when Waliyha spoke first. "Anyways, Zayn? Can I spend the night at Charlotte's tonight?"

Zayn turned towards her, stepping out of Liam's grasp. "Are her parents going to be home?"

"Yes," she groaned, clearly annoyed.

"That's fine then, just text me their number and I'll walk you over there."

He expected her to put up a fight, but instead she turned her attention towards Liam. "Or maybe Liam could drive me? Please please please?" 

"Sure," Liam agreed easily. "But go get ready now. Don and I need to leave in a minute."

"Thank you!" she called as she disappeared out of sight.

"I guess all my sisters need you tonight," Zayn scoffed. "Maybe we should work out a shared custody agreement."

Liam smirked. "Aww, you want full custody of me, don't you? That mean you're gonna miss me tonight?"

No," Zayn insisted, glaring at him. "Safaa and I have tons of fun stuff planned to do while you're gone, don't we, Saf?"

Safaa shrugged, looking bored already. "Not really."

Liam looked down at her before looking back at Zayn, hesitating for a second before surging forward to give him a kiss on the cheek, like he couldn't stop himself. "I guess I'll just have to miss you enough for the both of us then," he whispered, before turning and heading towards the door. "Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone," he called over his shoulder.

"How can I?" Zayn said automatically. "You're taking all the stupid with you."

Liam paused in the doorway, turning around slowly until he was facing Zayn, a look of wonder on his face. "Did you just quote Captain America to me?"

Zayn shrugged. "Maybe," he said, trying to keep his voice light.

"Just when I thought you couldn't get any more perfect," he said. His voice was filled with awe, which didn't make any sense to Zayn. He knew what he was, and perfect wasn't it. Sure, he was incredibly good looking, and a fantastic football player, but Zayn was well aware that he could also occasionally be a tiny bit moody, and that once or maybe even twice he'd been known to exhibit what some might describe as brat-like behavior.

But here was Liam - the most obnoxiously perfect person Zayn had ever met - calling _him_ perfect. Zayn was once again at a loss for words, but it didn't matter because an instant later Doniya and Waliyha were rushing into the room, everyone moving urgently as kisses were exchanged and goodbyes were said.

"Cheerio," Liam called from the living room, his British accent firmly back in place, ensuring that Zayn's smile was the last thing he saw before he shut the door.

Zayn reached for Safaa's hand, swinging it in between them. "Looks like it's just you and me, kid. You ready for your bath?" 

Safaa shot off towards the corner of the kitchen, bending down to pick something up. "Benjamin needs a bath too."

"Who?"

"The dog," she said slowly, like he was stupid. And maybe he was, if the pang in his heart over how grown up she sounded was getting was anything to go by.

"When did you get so big?" he asked, scuffing her head.

"Benjamin's the big one," she grunted, her arms stretched out in front of her as she appeared to struggle under the dog's weight.

Zayn held out his arms, taking the dog from her, bending his knees dramatically as he pretended to lift her. "Oh my god, she's huge."

Safaa smiled brightly, skipping ahead to the bathroom.

"Is Liam your boyfriend?" she asked as he started to run her bath. 

"What? No," Zayn insisted quickly. 

"But I saw you kissing him," she pointed out, her words getting muffled as Zayn pulled her shirt over her head.

"You saw that?" he asked, frowning a little when she nodded. "Sometimes friends kiss, when they're much, _much_ older than you. It doesn't necessarily mean that they're dating."

"So he's just your friend?" she asked, climbing over the edge of the tub to plop down in the water.

"Well, no," Zayn began, squirting some shampoo into his hand. "I guess I'm not really sure what he is."

"Does Don kiss him too?" she asked excitedly. "Since they're friends?"

"No, he doesn't want to kiss Don," Zayn said. "They don't like each other like that."

Safaa was quiet as he started to rub the shampoo into her scalp, and he assumed that the matter was closed. 

He was wrong. 

"But you like him like that?"

"Hmmm?" Zayn asked as he gathered all of her hair on top of her head, making it as tall as he possibly could before drying his hands so that he could pull out his cell. 

"You like Liam? Like you used to like Clark?" she continued, and Zayn was really going to have to start being more careful with what he said around her.

Zayn let out a deep breath. "Yeah, I guess."

"And you think he has a cute butt," she giggled.

"I'm not gonna answer that, because someone," he said, holding up his phone to take a picture of her, "has a big mouth."

He bit his lip as he sent the picture to Liam, following it with a quick text.

_Zayn_ :  I think she beats us both.

Liam's response was immediate, and Zayn had to bite his lip even harder to keep from smiling too big.

_The Payne Train_ :  mines still the best

"Do Benjamin next," Safaa ordered as he tilted her head back to rinse out the shampoo. She pushed her hands through the water, some of it splashing over the side, Zayn's sweats getting wet where he knelt on the floor as he pretended to shape Benjamin's hair into soapy spikes. 

"Say cheese," he told her, holding his phone up again. 

Safaa smiled and wrapped her arm around Benjamin's neck, yelling "Cheeeeese!" through clenched teeth. As soon as he'd taken the picture and set his phone down Safaa surprised him, blurting out, "I've got a boyfriend."

"You do?" Zayn asked with narrowed eyes, his hands pausing where he was about to start smoothing conditioner into her hair. "What's his name?"

"Garrett."

"Garrett, huh?" Zayn muttered, wondering just how much paperwork would be involved in transferring her to an all girls school. "And how do you know Garrett is your boyfriend, and not just a regular friend?"

She shrugged, accepting the soapy washcloth Zayn handed her. "We hold hands sometimes, and he's got a shark tooth and an aldergater tooth and he lets me hold them even though nobody else gets to."

"That's pretty nice, I guess," Zayn acknowledged reluctantly. "But no kissing, right?"

"Ew," she cringed, wrinkling her nose up. "Don't be gross, Zayn."

He smiled fondly, motioning for her to move closer so that he could rinse her hair out. "Sorry."

"So you gonna ask Liam to be your boyfriend?" she asked, pouring a cup of water over where Benjamin was supposed to be.

"I'm not sure. He might not want to be my boyfriend."

"Yeah," she said solemnly, and Zayn really wished she hadn't agreed so readily.

He was silent for a minute, but soon found himself asking, "You don't think he wants to be my boyfriend?"

"How should I know?" she asked, hunching her shoulders up as she looked up at him. "I'm only five and a half."

Zayn chuckled as he stood to lift her out of the tub. "Smartest five and a half year old I've ever met," he told her, wrapping a giant towel around her. He grabbed a second towel to dry her hair, taking extra care around her temple, his thumb swiping gently over where her bump was already healed, the dark purple bruise a lingering figment of Zayn's imagination, a remnant of too many bad dreams. "How 'bout we stop talking about my boring old love life and watch a movie?"

"Minions?" she asked.

"Sure. Go get dressed and I'll get it started."

They'd just settled down to watch the movie, Zayn wondering if he'd look too needy if he texted Liam again, when he heard a key in the lock. His hands froze where he was combing the tangles out of Safaa's hair as they both turned towards the door just in time to see Liam walk through it.

"You're home early," Zayn said, feeling his smile overtake his face even as he willed himself not to read too much into it.

Liam shrugged. "I missed you guys," he said sheepishly, looking right at Zayn.

"We missed you too," Safaa piped up excitedly. "Zayn says he wants to be-"

"Hey hey hey! What did I say, about big mouths needing to stay shut?" Zayn reminded her hurriedly, tickling her sides to distract her. It worked, Safaa lunging away from him just as Liam plopped down next to him. His eyes were glassy and his breath smelled like whiskey when he leaned close, and Zayn had never been so happy to see him. "You have a good night?"

"Better now," he smiled.

"You look a little tipsy, babe," Zayn said without thinking, his hand coming to rest on Liam's knee where it was pressed against his own.

Liam smiled hugely, knocking his head against Zayn's shoulder. "It turns out that being the bartender's boyfriend means you don't have to pay for drinks."

"Did anything weird happen? Did you see the manager?"

Liam shook his head. "He left about half an hour ago, so I asked Don if it was alright if I headed out. Niall showed up right before I left, said he'd give her a ride home. Pretty sure we don't have anything to worry about if he's around."

Zayn snorted. "He's probably the one who left the rose on the bar for her."

Liam snickered, his hand finding Zayn's leg as he lifted it to rest it on top of his own. Zayn's breath hitched as Liam began to smooth his palm up and down his thigh, subtly forcing his legs farther apart as he raised his head to look at Zayn directly.

"Hey Saf? Will you go get me a bottle of water please?" Liam asked, his eyes never leaving Zayn's face even as she stood and scurried out of the room. 

"Thirsty?" Zayn asked quietly.

Liam shook his head. "Nope. Just kinda wanted to kiss you."

"What are you waiting for then?" Zayn wondered aloud, licking his lips. They were kissing a second later, Liam moaning softly into his mouth when he deepened the kiss immediately, like he needed to taste as much of Zayn as possible in the few precious seconds they had before Safaa came back. 

Zayn pushed him off of him just in time, the pitter patter of her bare feet on the hardwood floor the only warning he got before she was standing right beside them. 

"Here you go," she said, hopefully not noticing that Zayn's shirt was now rucked up around his stomach, or that Liam's breathing had suddenly got a lot heavier.

"Thanks Saf. You think you could get me a glass for this?" Liam asked. She agreed without protest, giving them another minute alone, but by the time Liam had asked her for ice, and then a straw, she'd had enough.

"You're making me miss the whole movie," she whined, sitting down on the floor and pretzeling her legs, her arms folded over her chest as she stared pointedly at the screen, letting them know that she wasn't planning on leaving the room again any time soon.

Zayn was almost relieved that she'd refused, because in the few trips she'd made to the kitchen Liam had managed to work him into quite a state, not just from the kisses but from the filthy words coming out of his mouth, every press of his lips accompanied by an _I can't stop thinking about last night_  or a _Can't wait to be inside you again_. 

Luckily, now that Safaa was back in the room for good Liam seemed content to just watch the movie, his hand straying a little too high on Zayn's thigh every once in a while the only clue that something less G-rated might be on his mind.

Zayn let himself relax, tossing an arm over the back of the couch so that he could run his fingers through Liam's hair. Liam melted into the touch, practically purring as he turned his body to the side so that he could look at Zayn. His eyes were doing that twinkly thing again, and god fucking dammit Zayn could swear that this man was going to be the death of him. He glanced at Safaa before leaning in to give Liam a quick kiss, unable to stop himself. He smiled as he sat back, unconsciously bringing a hand up to his lips as he turned to face the TV.

"You look happy," Liam murmured, his eyes locked on Zayn's profile.

"Minions just make me really happy, okay?" Zayn said, motioning towards the screen. He could feel his cheeks heat, the sneaking suspicion that Liam could read his mind making him blush. "I love them."

"You love _me_."

"Please," Zayn scoffed, rolling his eyes before becoming intensely focused on a loosening thread in the seam of his sweatpants.

Liam opened his mouth to say something else but didn't get the chance, Safaa rising to her feet and walking over to them. "Will you read me a story?" she asked Liam.

"I'll be honest, I can't read," Liam said quickly, earning a pout from Safaa and a raised eyebrow from Zayn.

"I'll read to you," Zayn told her. "But it's gotta be a short one, 'cause it's late."

Safaa shook her head no. "You don't do the voices like he does."

"Come on, Saf, no whining," Zayn scolded, starting to rise to his feet until Liam stopped him by grabbing his hand and pulling him back down.

"It's okay, I don't mind. Go pick out a book, Saf. A short one, like your brother said," he called after her as she skipped from the room, happy now that she'd gotten what she wanted.

"How much trouble will I be in if I say that your sister is a huge cockblock?" Liam whispered.

Zayn punched him in the shoulder, because he couldn't have people going around calling his little sister a cockblock, even if it was true. Liam laughed, clutching his shoulder as he shoved Zayn with his free hand. Zayn shoved him right back and Liam pounced on him, pushing him onto his back as he stretched out on top of him. 

"I'm gonna go read her the quickest story in the history of stories, and then I believe I have some making up to do."

"I like this plan," Zayn said with a nod. Liam smiled but made no move to get up, so he added, "You know you have to actually get off of me in order for the plan to work, right?"

Liam shook his head. "I can't let you leave until you pay the toll."

"What's the toll?" he asked. Liam just puckered his lips in response, making Zayn laugh. "You are such a dork."

"I don't make the rules, Zayn," Liam told him somberly, leaning on his side so that he could tap his finger against his lips.

"Alright, if I _have_  to," Zayn relented, lifting his head so that he could kiss him. Liam smiled into the kiss and Zayn found himself smiling too. He dropped his head back down to the sofa before Liam could deepen the kiss, smacking him on the ass to urge him to get up so that they could get to the good stuff sooner rather than later. Liam didn't put up too much of a fight, pulling Zayn to his feet after he'd stood and giving him a smack on the ass of his own.

Zayn laughed as he watched Liam head to the girls' room, wondering how he'd gotten so lucky. He sat back down to wait and cocked his head to the side after a few minutes, expecting to hear Liam's voice but instead being met with silence.

He stood and crept down the hallway as quietly as he could, popping his head into the open doorway to see Safaa giggling softly as Liam whispered something to her. He felt a wave of affection cascade over him as he watched them, their heads ducked together in front of an open book that neither of them were looking at. Liam was lying on top of the covers, Safaa tucked underneath the comforter beside him, and they both looked so amused that Zayn knew that they had to be up to something.

"I don't hear much reading going on in here," he said, leaning against the door frame.

Liam looked up and grinned at him before clearing his throat, turning his attention back to the book on his lap and beginning to read in a loud accent that sounded vaguely Australian. Zayn waved goodnight to Safaa and headed into the kitchen, figuring that Liam was probably hungry. He could hear Liam reading as he fixed him a grilled cheese, doing all of the voices but definitely saying the words more quickly than he normally did. It made him smile, knowing that Liam was in a hurry to be back with him.

He was in a hurry to see Liam too, and was just cutting his sandwich into triangles the way he knew Liam liked it when he heard him come up behind him, his hands sliding around Zayn's hips as he pressed him against the counter.

"Your sister should be a therapist," he murmured into Zayn's neck.

Zayn stiffened. "What'd she say to you?" he asked, turning around.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Liam smirked, before his eyes went wide. "Is that for me?" he asked hopefully.

Zayn pushed the plate towards him with a shrug. "Thought you might be hungry."

"I am. And it's my favorite, too."

"I know," was Zayn's only response.

"Mmmm," Liam moaned wantonly as he took a bite, his eyes rolling back in his head.

"You are a menace, Liam Payne," Zayn groaned, hopping up on the counter beside him.

"It's just so good," Liam swore around another giant bite, licking his fingers clean as soon as he'd swallowed.

"Can I get a taste?"

"Oh, you want a taste?" Liam asked, his eyes dancing with mischief as he pushed his plate aside in favor of leaning in, his mouth open wide as Zayn tried to back away from him, his head hitting the cabinet behind him. Liam took pity on him, closing his mouth at the last second to kiss him softly. Zayn slid his hands over his shoulders, pulling him between his legs until their bodies were flush against each other. Zayn decided that Liam did, in fact, taste good, so he kissed him again, and again.

"I can't believe I get to do this whenever I want now," he said as he pulled back to take a breath, his hands fisted in the front of Liam's shirt.

"Not so fast," Liam stopped him from tugging him closer with a hand to the chest. "I don't just go around kissing people who aren't my boyfriend on a regular basis."

Zayn arched an eyebrow, because really? But then he realized what Liam was saying, or asking, and found himself speechless for about the tenth time in the past twenty-four hours, his heart hammering too loudly in his chest for him to be able to form a coherent thought.

Liam looked unexpectedly nervous, swallowing deeply before he opened his mouth to speak, the words tumbling out of him like he'd been wanting to say them for a while. "I know you might want to take some time, to get over her, or to be single, and I totally get that, but-" he stopped suddenly, taking a step away from Zayn. 

Zayn couldn't let him leave, not when he was possibly about to say what Zayn hoped he was. He reached for him, stopping him from moving farther away with a hand to the arm and pulling him back to him. Liam resisted coming closer, his face still a mask of worry, and Zayn knew that it was now or never. "I don't want to be single, you big dummy," he told him, his fingers digging into Liam's shoulder. "Not if the every night option is still available."

Liam's eyes brightened. "Every night?"

Now it was Zayn's turn to be hesitant. "If that's still what you want?"

"It is," he said quickly.

"So...what does that mean, exactly?"

Liam considered this for a second before smiling slowly as he took a step back. "Boyfriends?" he asked, holding his hand out for Zayn to shake, just like he had that day in the park so many weeks before.

"Boyfriends," Zayn agreed with a roll of his eyes, knowing that he was probably grinning like a fool as he clasped Liam's hand and tugged him forward. Liam fell into his arms, kissing Zayn's right cheek and then his left and then his nose while Zayn giggled and cupped his face, trying to hold him still. "Boyfriends," he said again, letting the word roll off of his tongue and onto Liam's lips. 

Liam repeated the word back to him and scooped him up off of the counter, Zayn's legs automatically wrapping around his waist as his arms slid around his neck.

And then they were spinning and smiling and laughing and bumping into walls, and spinning and smiling and laughing some more. And then they were kissing, and kissing, and kissing. They landed against the fridge, the air being forced from Zayn's lungs as Liam pressed him harshly against it. Zayn dug his heels into Liam's back, his hands gripping his cheeks as he kissed him harder. 

His boyfriend. He was kissing his boyfriend, and he couldn't get enough. 

Liam couldn't seem to get enough either, kissing Zayn dizzy until they somehow ended up sitting on the floor, a tangled mess of limbs, every part of Zayn touching every part of Liam that he could reach. Zayn didn't know how long they stayed like that, just that he never wanted to forget this moment. He took the memory of how hard his heart had started beating the instant Liam had asked him to be his boyfriend and tucked it away in the corner of his mind, knowing that it'd be one that he'd call on again and again, whenever he needed to be reminded of what it felt like to be truly happy.

And then Liam, once again being his annoyingly perfect self, managed to make the moment even better.

He backed up just enough from Zayn to be able to pull his phone out of his pocket, typing quickly as he leaned back so that Zayn couldn't see what he was doing. "How about this one?" he said finally, holding his phone up so that Zayn could see.

Zayn's face heated as he read the name above his photo, very much liking Liam's new nickname for him.

_Boyfriend_.

"Yeah, I guess we can keep that one for now," he smiled, before pulling Liam back to him, needing another kiss from his boyfriend.


	21. Chapter 21

_**And nobody loves you, baby, the way I do...** _

Liam's mouth was warm and soft, his lips plump and pink and perfect, and Zayn kind of never wanted to stop kissing him. And that was one hundred percent fine by him honestly, as long as Liam felt the same way. He seemed to, from Zayn's perspective at least, his grip tight on his hips as he pulled him onto his lap and pushed his hand under his shirt, the rough skin of his palm pressing him closer as he slipped his tongue past Zayn's lips and moaned into his mouth.

That moan meant everything to Zayn; its very existence proof that he was making Liam feel good. That he was making his _boyfriend_ feel good. Zayn smiled to himself, his entire body buzzing as he scooted closer to him, tasting his sighs as he rested his arms on Liam's shoulders and nestled their bodies together. He could feel each breath Liam took, his tummy expanding against his own, and he started to breathe a little faster in return, his hands sliding down to Liam's lower back to tug his shirt up a few inches, wanting to feel the warmth of his skin under his fingertips.

Liam's lips felt so good against his, as did his nails as they dragged down his back, and his hips as they pressed up, rocking against him, but almost as good was the way he looked at Zayn when they finally broke apart. The room was dim, the light from the living room and the barely there glow from the clock on the microwave softening his features, blurring the perfectly rounded tip of his nose, and the sinful curve of his cupid's bow, but fondness was written all over his face, his eyes shining as he blinked slowly up at Zayn. And his lips, they were so red and so swollen as they turned up in a smile when he started to giggle, and Zayn couldn't stop himself from surging forward for another kiss, thinking back to when he'd pushed Liam away, time and time again, doing anything he could think of to keep his distance.

This was so much better.

"What's so funny?" he asked, when Liam's continued giggles made it impossible to keep kissing him. Liam shook his head and dropped his forehead onto Zayn's collarbone, his shoulders shaking with laughter. Zayn could feel the joy flowing through them both, Liam's belly vibrating against his own where they were pressed together, the rumble of his chest next to Zayn's making his heart beat a little harder, his smile get a little bigger.

He wanted to hear that laugh, to feel it, to taste it, forever. 

"Come on, tell me," he urged, one hand sliding up to slip through the collar of Liam's shirt, fingernails scratching along the back of his neck as he cocked his head, trying to get a better look at him. His face was hidden in Zayn's shirt, only the scruff of his beard and the side of his smile visible. Zayn nosed against his cheek, pressing a kiss to his jaw to coax an answer out of him.

Liam replied without lifting his head, every word he spoke cushioned with a breathless laugh as he hugged Zayn harder, arms wrapped tight around his middle. "You couldn't...you couldn't wait to be my boyfriend." 

"Excuse me?" Zayn demanded, pinching Liam's side and trying to sound stern despite the fact that he was laughing too, unbridled joy the only emotion he could muster.

Liam's hand slid a little lower, down to the small of Zayn's back as he straightened to look at him, his head tilted to the side. "You agreed so fast. Like, _sooooo_ fast." His smile was so smug, his eyes twinkling over cheeks tinged the prettiest shade of pink. 

Now it was Zayn's turn to blush. "I have no idea what you're talking about," he insisted. He wanted to turn away but couldn't, one of Liam's hands lifting to cup his chin, his thumb pressing against his lower lip, dragging it down and holding him in place.

"You're probably dying to update your relationship status on Facebook," he continued, his voice light and teasing. His smile had started small, but it was slowly overtaking his face, until it was all Zayn could see, Liam's eyes disappearing under the weight of his cheeks as his lips curled up, revealing that he was every bit as happy as Zayn was. "I'm your man now and you want everyone to know it."

Zayn felt warm all over, from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. He loved Liam, more than almost anything.

Even so, he held up a hand to stop him from saying anything else. "Listen, it hasn't been _that_ bad being your boyfriend so far, but it's only been a few minutes, so let's not get carried away."  

"Don't worry, babe, I find your eagerness _very_ attractive," Liam promised. 

His hand had started trailing along the waistband of Zayn's boxers, his thumb dipping just inside, running from his happy trail to his hip and back again, and Zayn was having trouble concentrating. He paused, struggling to focus as he considered Liam's words. "You do, huh?" he finally asked, his train of thought running off the tracks as Liam's teeth latched onto his earlobe and tugged.

Liam pulled back and grinned, his hands fitting around Zayn's sides as he raised his eyebrows suggestively. "I do."

Zayn scooted a fraction closer and blinked down at him, his tongue sliding over his lips as he watched Liam's eyes darken. "Show me, then," he breathed.

"Whatever you say, chief," Liam agreed easily, leaning in to kiss him again. Zayn let him, but only because it was better than hearing what other stupid nicknames he was about to come up with. And then he decided to just let him keep kissing him, stretching his neck as Liam yanked his collar down so that he could kiss his way across his jaw and down his throat, knowing that it was the most effective way of keeping him quiet. He even went so far as to pull off his own shirt, and Liam responded as he'd hoped he would, tilting him back with strong arms as he kissed over his chest to his nipple, taking it between his teeth and hardening it into a tight little nub as Zayn hissed out a moan.

But even all the kissing and licking and biting couldn't shut Liam up completely, mumbled promises pressed into Zayn's skin every step of the way. Zayn had to admit that he didn't mind too much. In fact he didn't mind at all, every whispered _I wanna fuck you so bad_ and _it was the only thing I could think about all night; how good it felt to be inside you_ turning him on more and more, until he was as hard as he could ever remember being. And he knew that he had that same thought each time he was with Liam, but that was just because his desperation for him only seemed to be growing stronger, and now that he knew how good it felt to kiss him, and to touch him, and to fuck him, it only made him want him more.

He rocked his hips down, biting back a moan when Liam matched the movement, tilting his hips up in the most appealing way. Zayn could feel the thick line of his length straining against his jeans, and fuck if there was anything he liked more than making Liam hard for him. A second later he decided that this wasn't technically true, because Liam's hand was slowly working its way into his sweats, his fingers trailing up and down the inside of his thigh, his touch as soft as silk, and he was quickly reminded that Liam making him come was what he really liked best. Liam pushed his hand into Zayn's boxers next, not truly touching him, his fingers teasing as he dragged his nails around the base of his cock, millimeters away from where Zayn wanted him most.

"Do you know how hard you made me come this morning?" Liam asked quietly, moving his mouth to Zayn's neck as he finally got a hand on him, fingers curling around him one by one, his thumb rubbing over his wet tip. "Harder than anybody else ever has, I swear. Nobody feels as good as you do, Zayn."

His breath was hot against Zayn's ear but his words were hotter. Zayn's dick twitched, what little blood he had left in his brain flowing to it, and he grabbed Liam's jaw and brought their mouths together so that he could kiss him, hard. It only lasted a few seconds, his hand sliding down Liam's back reminding him that he still had his shirt on, and that was just not okay, the ribbed cotton rough under his fingertips where Liam's skin would be smooth. He reached for the hem of it and tugged it over his head, his hands immediately spreading wide across his shoulder blades, enjoying the way his muscles rippled under his palms as Liam pushed a hand into the back of his hair and tugged. Zayn's mouth fell open, and then it was back on Liam, his breath catching in his throat as Liam's palm swept over his tip.

"Need you so fucking bad," he mumbled against his lips. 

Liam's hand moved faster at that, steadily pumping him with a loose grip that had Zayn's thighs trembling. "Think you can be quiet for me, babe? Don't think I can wait 'til we're in bed to fuck my boyfriend." 

Zayn nodded quickly, because he couldn't wait either. "I'll be quiet," he promised, rutting into Liam's fist when he felt his cock jump underneath him.

"Good boy," Liam praised him with a kiss to the corner of his mouth, eager hands pushing him off of him so that they could both stand. Liam grabbed him as soon as they were on their feet, pulling him flush against him, hands moving from his back down to his thighs, gripping him just under the curve of his ass to lift him up. Zayn went to wrap his legs around his waist, wanting to be as close to him as possible, but Liam had other ideas, lying Zayn on the table and rolling his sweats and boxers down, letting them pool around his ankles as he slid his palms up his calves and over his knees and then higher, slowly spreading his thighs apart.

Zayn gasped as the cool air hit him, and then he moaned, as Liam bent over him and began kissing a straight line down his stomach, taking his goddamn time despite the fact that Zayn was throbbing for him. And then he was finally where Zayn wanted him to be. Where he needed him to be, his perfect, perfect lips wrapping around the tip of his weeping cock. He sucked him slowly into his mouth, moaning as he took him all the way down, swallowing around him as the heels of Zayn's palms hit the table and his eyes rolled back in his head. And then he did it again, and again, bobbing his head relentlessly as he worked Zayn in and out of his mouth.

Zayn arched his back, his feet kicking out as pleasure flooded through him. Liam didn't let up, swirling his tongue around the head before dipping it into his slit to taste him. The table was cold and hard underneath Zayn, bruising his elbows as he pushed himself up to look at him. He looked so fucking good going down on him, a wayward strand of hair falling into his face as his hands skimmed up and down Zayn's sides, his cheeks hollowing as he sucked him harder, and it took every ounce of willpower he had to fist a hand into his hair, trying to tug him off of him. 

"Liam..." he started, momentarily distracted by how slick Liam's lips were, their color almost identical to the shiny head of the cock he was pressing an open-mouthed kiss to, his tongue rolling over it in most wicked way. "You gotta stop," he finally forced himself to say, mainly because he was about seven seconds away from coming down his throat and he wasn't ready to stop feeling this good yet.

Liam looked up at him, his eyes blown black as his tongue continued to work its magic, gliding up Zayn's length and over his tip, again and again, until Zayn's legs were quivering, his entire body tensing as he fought against the almost uncontrollable need to come, every cell in his body screaming for him to let go.

Liam must have sensed how close he was, because he was pulling off of him a second later. "Come 'ere," he said, standing up straight and grabbing Zayn's hands to pull him up too. Zayn went to kiss him but Liam didn't let him, instead spinning him around, a strong hand in the middle of his back forcing him to bend forward over the table.

Zayn heard him fall to his knees behind him, and then he couldn't hear anything, or see anything, the sensation of Liam's tongue sweeping over him the only thing he was able to focus on. He dropped onto his elbows as Liam's thumbs held his cheeks apart so that he could really start to lick him, broad strokes playing over his hole, lapping at him as Zayn struggled to spread his legs as far apart as he could with his pants still wrapped around his ankles.

Liam pulled back an inch, his hands kneading their way up and down the back of Zayn's thighs. "You have no idea how bad I want you," he murmured, his breath washing over Zayn sending chills down his spine, and then he was back on him, pointing his tongue so that he could fuck it into him. Zayn bent over farther, one arm reaching forward to grip the edge of the table as he tucked his face into the crook of the other, moaning into his forearm because he knew he needed to be quiet.

Liam was moaning just as much, each one reverberating through Zayn, making him pulse out more precome. He  _ached_ to get a hand around himself, but he held back, knowing that the slightest friction might make him come. And then he heard Liam spit, and felt a finger pressing into him, and then two, Liam's tongue joining them an instant later, and Zayn knew that he wasn't going to last much longer. 

He only allowed Liam to pump his fingers in and out of him a half dozen more times before he was scooting forward, needing to get away from him. "Stop," he begged. "Don't wanna come until you're in me."

Liam pulled off of him immediately. Zayn straightened a little but kept his hands planted firmly on the table, turning his head to the side to look over his shoulder as Liam unleashed a sinful smile and undid his jeans, shoving them down as soon as he'd grabbed the lube from his pocket, not bothering to take them all the way off. 

He was so hard, the moisture pooling at his tip making him look extra fucking good, and knowing that he was hard just for him had Zayn fighting to spread his legs farther apart. Liam licked his lips as he lubed himself up, pushing a wet thumb into Zayn and fucking him with it at the same pace he was stroking himself, his forearm flexing and muscles tensing as he coated his length. His eyes stayed locked on Zayn's face as he stepped up behind him, but Zayn had to look away, the way Liam was looking at him only making the pressure between his thighs build.

Liam gripped his hips, his fingers folding over his hipbones and his thumbs smoothing up and down the soft skin of his ass, pulling him back until the head of his cock was teasing his rim. Zayn arched back against him and that was Liam's cue, pushing into him slowly without stopping, until every perfect inch of him was inside. His fingers dug into Zayn's sides as he fought to hold still, almost managing it but not quite, hips rocking in and out of him the slightest bit, like he couldn't stop himself.

Zayn closed his eyes, trying to relax as he felt Liam throb inside of him. "Liam," he finally breathed, the single word a plea for him to move. Liam did, starting off slow, then steadily increasing the pace of his hips and the length of his thrusts, until he was pulling out almost to the tip before pushing back into him, not stopping until his hips were pressed against him.

"Feel so fucking good," he told him, his voice low.

Zayn clenched around him, loving the way Liam's hips stuttered when he did. "This what you been thinkin' 'bout all night?"

Liam ran a hand down Zayn's spine, forcing him farther forward. "I couldn't get outta that bar fast enough. Kept remembering fucking you up against the wall in the shower, and how you came from just my cock. Was so hard just thinking about it," he said, fucking into Zayn faster and faster with every word. 

Zayn groaned loudly when Liam slammed into him a little harder, his fingers spreading wide on the table as he dug his fingertips into the wood. "Oh fuck, did I hurt you?" Liam asked, freezing mid-thrust.

Zayn rolled his eyes, rocking back against him to get him to start moving again before he lost all of the beautiful momentum he'd been building up. "Actually, I was about to tell you to put your back into it."

Liam laughed breathlessly, grasping Zayn's hips tighter as he began to fuck into him harder, pushing Zayn forward as he pulled out, then pulling him back as he surged towards him so that he could really give it to him.

"Just like that, fuck," Zayn moaned, because it hurt so good, the force of Liam's thrusts pushing him up onto the tips of his toes. Liam gave him what he wanted, fucking into him faster and harder, until Zayn's heart was pounding and his legs were shaking and he knew he was about to give Liam what he wanted, too. 

"Gonna make me come, babe, just from your cock," he told him, barely able to get the words out as Liam began to move impossibly faster, pounding into his prostate with every pump of his hips. "Liam," Zayn moaned, and he knew he was being too loud, but he couldn't help it, because everything felt too good.

Liam clamped a hand over his mouth but even that couldn't keep him completely quiet, his fist slamming down onto the table involuntarily as he started to spill, coming and coming and coming as Liam bent his knees behind him, making it so that as much of him was touching as much of Zayn as possible as he draped his body over Zayn's and pistoned his hips in and out of him. He only lasted another four or five strokes before he was coming too, his mouth pressed against Zayn's skin muffling his own moans as he throbbed and pulsed inside of him. 

Liam stayed just like that for a few moments, until the thudding of his heart against Zayn's back had calmed a bit, then kissed his shoulder as he pulled out and took a step back. He pulled his boxers and jeans back up but didn't bother to button them as he sunk to the floor and lied flat on his back, his arms spread wide like he was too fucked out to move. Zayn knew the feeling, barely managing to pull his sweats up before he dropped to the floor beside him, leaning back on his hands as his eyes trailed up and down Liam's body. 

His chest was still rising and falling rapidly, one hand moving to cushion his head as the other trailed slowly up his stomach until it was resting just over his heart. He was slightly sweaty despite the cool temperature, his hair a disaster thanks to Zayn's wandering hands, his face a little red, from alcohol or exertion or both, and all Zayn could think of was how fucking gorgeous his boyfriend was.

Liam turned his head to the side to look at him and let out a deep, satisfied breath. 

"Is it just me, or are we getting even better at that?"

Zayn smiled lazily, uncrossing his legs so that he could push his foot against the side of Liam's thigh. "It's not just you."

Liam's gaze flitted from Zayn's face to his chest and then to the floor just under the table as he started to zip up his jeans, his hands pausing midway as a thought occurred to him. "Wanna thumb wrestle to see who has to clean that up?" 

Zayn took one look at the mess he'd made and pushed himself to his feet as quickly as he could manage with his limbs still feeling like limp noodles. "You get that, I'll get me," he told him, deciding that Liam was just as responsible for making it as he was. He headed for the bathroom before Liam had a chance to argue, chuckling as Liam whisper yelled everything he disliked about this plan.

Liam was lying on the couch when Zayn got back from cleaning up, his jeans still undone and his shirt still missing. Zayn smiled, wondering if they could fit in another round before Doniya got home.

Liam glanced up at him and yawned, opening his arms. "Cuddle?" he asked sleepily.

Zayn looked down at him, at the soft smile on his face and the curve of his body as he lie on his side, broad shoulders leading to a smaller waist and trim hips, and he couldn't resist going to him. His hand slid just under the waistband of his boxers, his fingers fitting perfectly over the bare skin of his hipbone as he gave in and cuddled against him, until every part of him was touching every part of Liam, their noses brushing as he leaned forward to kiss him, their legs tangling when he pushed a knee in between his thighs.

Liam welcomed the movement, slipping one arm underneath Zayn's waist to wrap around him as the other gripped the back of his leg, hitching it over his hip and pulling him closer.

A minute later he broke the kiss, pulling back to look at Zayn hopefully. "You up for a little action?" he asked. 

Zayn's mind predictably jumped to sex, and he wondered why Liam thought he even needed to ask, until he reached over him to pick up the copy of Halo 5 that was on the coffee table, waving it in his face. 

"Feel like getting your ass handed to you, do you?" Zayn asked, grinning as he grabbed the game and rose to his feet to put it in the Xbox. 

"We'll see about that," Liam said as he shaped his hands into guns, pointing them at Zayn. "Pew pew pew."

Zayn stopped where he was in the middle of pushing the coffee table out of the way to stare him down. "Don't ever do that again."

Liam responded with one final  _pew_  before sitting up and spreading his legs so that Zayn could sit on the floor between them. Zayn settled down and turned back to look up at him, smiling when Liam quickly turned his head away, brow furrowing at having been caught staring. 

"Good luck," Zayn said, drawing his attention back to him and puckering his lips for a kiss.

Liam gave him a little peck and leaned back, raising his eyebrows pointedly. "Don't need luck when you're as good as I am."

Zayn rolled his eyes and rested his head on Liam's knee as the game continued to load, every ounce of tension leaving his body as Liam began carding his fingers through his hair, his nails scraping against his scalp and the patter of the rain falling steadily onto the roof above them making his eyes close involuntarily. This turned out to be a mistake when Liam failed to mention that the game had actually begun and was just muted, Zayn finally opening his eyes to see that Liam's character was already closing in on his. 

"Did you see that move? You might as well just give up now," Liam proclaimed proudly when he killed Zayn a minute later, holding both arms up in victory.

Zayn shot him a dirty look and sat up a little straighter, vowing to keep his head forward and his eyes open. This was easier said than done, since Liam was just as annoying as he was competitive, both of these traits combining to make him a downright dirty player.

"Why you always on my junk?" Zayn demanded an hour later, batting Liam's hand away as he attempted his favorite diversion technique of trying to hit him in the nuts. 

Liam snorted. "Pot, meet kettle."

"That's different," he reminded him, elbowing him away from him with a grunt. "It's much more fun my way."

He'd moved to the couch somewhere around the middle of the second game because Liam wouldn't stop trying to kick the controller out of his hands whenever he was losing, even though he knew from experience that this would just give him more ways to mess with him. But at least this way Zayn could mess with him right back, bumping his shoulder against him or squeezing that spot just above his knee that always made his whole body jerk if he started to get ahead. (Being able to kiss him while new scenes loaded was just an added bonus.)  

And now, nearing the end of the third round, Zayn was pretty sure that he had him right where he wanted him, only needing to kill him two more times in order to claim victory. He leaned forward, elbows perched on his knees and tongue peeking out of the corner of his mouth as he went for the kill shot.

"Stop cheating," Liam whined, throwing his hands up in exasperation as he watched his player take a bullet to the heart.

"It's not cheating; it's skillful maneuvering," Zayn told him without taking his eyes off of the screen. "There's a difference."

Liam responded by covering Zayn's eyes with his hand, followed a few seconds later by a triumphant yelp, and when Zayn pulled his hand away he saw that his character had been killed, effectively ending the game. He opened his mouth to demand a rematch but didn't get the chance, Liam's hand landing on his leg quieting him.

"You wanna go again?" he asked, and Zayn knew from the way he said it that he wasn't talking about the game.

He looked down at the hand inching higher and higher on his thigh and then over at Liam, biting his lower lip as he pretended to consider the offer.

"You know how much kicking your ass turns me on," Liam murmured, taking the controller out of Zayn's hand and tossing it to the side, where it landed with a thunk next to his own. His voice was deep and a little scratchy, the sound of it making it impossible for Zayn to even think of turning him down. Add in that face, his eyes dark and his smile bright, and that body, so tan and firm and close, and Zayn knew he had about five seconds max of resistance left in him.

Not that Liam was going to give him a chance to resist, a hand on his shoulder pushing Zayn back onto the couch as he crawled over him, his knees on either side of Zayn's hips and his hands on either side of his head as he held himself up above him.

"Might as well," Zayn sighed, shrugging his shoulders as nonchalantly as he could manage.

Liam smirked down at him. "That's what I thought." 

He dropped down onto Zayn at the same time that Zayn reached up for him, fingers tangling into hair as their mouths met, their need for each other turning urgent in an instant as Zayn swung a leg over Liam's back, pulling him closer. 

Zayn had just slipped his hand into the back of Liam's jeans to urge him on, his head dropping back against the cushion on as they started to rub against each other, when he heard the one thing that could keep him from continuing. 

"Zayn!" Safaa screamed, her voice thick with tears. 

His first thought was whether this was what she'd sounded like when she'd called for him in the fire, and he was pushing Liam off of him and jumping to his feet before he'd made the conscious decision to do so. He shot an apologetic look to Liam where he was sprawled on the floor and then he was out of the room and down the hall, sprinting towards the girls' room.   

Safaa was already out of bed, meeting him in the doorway as she ran into his arms. "What's the matter, kiddo?" he asked, lifting her and rubbing soothing circles into her back as she wrapped her arms and legs around him. "Did you have a bad dream?"

Liam joined them before she could answer, tugging his shirt on over his head. He let out a deep breath when he saw that she was unharmed, then smiled slightly as he lifted a hand, pointing at Safaa behind her back and mouthing  _cockblock_.

Zayn gave him the finger, the effect of it somewhat lessened when it was followed immediately by a small smile.

"It wasn't a dream," Safaa told him, lifting her head from the crook of his neck as a fresh tear slid down her cheek. "I heard a noise and when I looked out the window someone was out there."

Zayn moved her to his hip and walked quickly to the window, pushing the white cotton curtain aside. Slanting rain pounded against the glass, obscuring his vision, but he could see that the yard was empty, none of the bushes lining the main house big enough to hide someone.

"Nobody's out there, Saf. It was probably just the rain."

"It was over there," she insisted, pointing just past the fence, where Liam had parked his car.

Zayn squinted, trying to see, but between the moonless night and the steadily falling sheets of rain it was hard to make out much. "I don't think anyone's out there, but I can go check, okay? Would that make you feel bet-"

He was cut off by the unmistakable sound of breaking glass, followed immediately by the loud, grating blare of a car alarm.

"Get behind me," Liam ordered at once, pulling them away from the window.

"Don't start that shit," Zayn said, handing Safaa to him before stepping in front of them both and looking out the window again. The sound was clearly coming from Liam's car, and Zayn ran towards his and Liam's bedroom, Liam right on his heels with Safaa still in his arms.

"Zayn, I can't let you go out there alone," Liam said quietly, his voice pleading.

Zayn took his gun out of the top drawer of Liam's dresser, holding it behind his back so that his sister couldn't see it as he stepped forward and put a hand on Liam's shoulder. "Just let me make sure it's safe. Stay here, with Saf. Please, Liam."

Safaa had started crying again, so Zayn gave her a quick kiss, his fingers brushing against Liam's when he leaned in, and then he went to the front door, opening it cautiously and taking a quick look out to make sure that no one was there. "Lock this behind me," he told Liam, his worried face the last thing he saw before he shut the door between them.

Nothing appeared to be disturbed on the stairs or in the garage, and a quick glance around the large yard when he opened the door revealed that was indeed empty. He stepped out into it, goosebumps breaking out on his chest and arms as the cold rain pelted his bare skin. He longed to sprint directly for Liam's car, but he forced himself to move slowly, not wanting to risk being ambushed. He searched the ground for muddy footprints as he made his way towards the SUV and let out a sigh of relief when he found none, his hand gripping the wet wood of the white picket fence so that he could hop over it.

Despite his caution, only fifteen seconds or so had passed from the time he'd closed the door upstairs to when he made it to Liam's car. But it was already too late. No one was lingering around, the wailing alarm enough to cause anyone but a moron to flee. Zayn didn't see or hear any cars peeling away, so he figured that the perpetrator must have fled on foot, but he couldn't see anyone when he looked up and down the street, save for a few neighbors peeking out of their windows to see what the commotion was about.

Zayn wanted to run down the street, to search yard by yard if he had to, but he knew it was pointless. There were too many backyards for him to cover by himself, and too many side streets that the perp could have slipped down. He turned his attention instead to Liam's car, his heart sinking when in addition to a broken driver's side window he saw that someone had spray painted the side of the car. The rain had caused the black paint to drip, smudging the letters, but the word _asshole_  was still legible.

Zayn closed his eyes, the cruel irony of it all washing over him. He might have found it funny a few months ago, someone writing this particular word on Liam's car, but now it just broke his heart, because he knew it was all his fault. No progress had been made on the arson case despite looking through all of Zayn's arrests, and now the motherfucker that had started the fire had found Zayn again, only this time it was Liam who ended up in the crossfire.

He cursed himself for having been so careless, and for dragging Liam into all of this. He thought back to all of the times he'd driven the Rover to and from work, not realizing that his every move might be being watched. He'd let himself be lulled into a false sense of security, believing that they were safe at Liam's, and that the danger couldn't possibly have followed them. He'd been distracted where he should have been vigilant, and once again he'd put everyone he loved at risk.

He felt a chill that had nothing to do with the cold shoot through him. He wondered briefly if he should break up with Liam, to keep him safe. His mind immediately rejected the notion, because deep down he knew that he was selfish, and he wasn't ready to give Liam up yet. He couldn't imagine ever being ready for that.

The alarm cut off suddenly, and he walked around the car so that he could look up at the window, pushing his wet hair out of his face before giving Liam and Safaa a little wave to let them know that he was okay. He saw Liam motioning for him to come inside and decided he might as well, since he was nothing short of useless out here.

They met him at the door, Liam draping a towel over his shoulders before he'd had a chance to lock it behind him. "It's okay," Zayn said, mostly for Safaa's benefit, drying off as quickly as he could so that he could take her from Liam, surreptitiously passing him the gun so that he could put it away. "Nobody's out there."

When Liam came back into the living room he looked like Zayn felt; like he'd aged ten years in the time between when Zayn walked out the door and when he walked back in.

"Shit," Zayn said, suddenly remembering. "I need to tell Don, and-"

"I texted them both," Liam told him. "Told them what happened, and to be careful."

He raised his eyebrows, his hand on Zayn's lower back as they stepped farther into the room, but Zayn just shook his head, not wanting to say much more in front of his sister. He walked her over to the couch and turned on the television, flipping through the channels until he found Disney. "Saf, I need you to stay here while I talk to Liam, but we're gonna stand right there," he said, pointing at the doorway leading to the kitchen, "so you'll be able to see us the whole time, okay?"

Safaa didn't look happy about it but she nodded bravely, her eyes following them as they moved to the edge of the living room, both of them standing so that she could see their faces.

Zayn looked from her to Liam and began in a whisper. "No one was there by the time I got outside, but somebody fucked your car up pretty bad, and your window's completely smashed out. I'm so fucking sorry, Liam."

Liam stepped closer, rubbing his hands up and down Zayn's bare arms to warm him up. His hands felt hot in comparison to Zayn's ice cold skin, and he melted involuntarily into the touch, his muscles relaxing a notch. "What're you sorry for? It's not your fault some meth head broke into my car looking for something to steal."

"I don't think they were trying to steal anything," Zayn said, shaking his head. "They spray painted...something along the drivers' side."

Liam looked confused, his eyebrows scrunching together. "What'd they paint?"

Zayn hesitated. "Asshole," he finally whispered, lowering his voice even further to be sure that Safaa couldn't hear.

Liam's lip twitched, but Zayn wasn't going to let him turn this into a joke.

"I'm so sorry," he repeated, wrapping his arms around his own waist as a shiver ran through him. Liam frowned, grabbing a hoodie from the back of one of the chairs in the kitchen and holding it open for him. Zayn pushed his arms into the holes and allowed Liam to turn him around so that he could zip it up, the warm cotton closing over him helping to settle his nerves. 

"You know that none of this is your fault, right?" Liam asked.

Zayn's mouth drew into a hard line. "Come on, Liam. We both know this is the same person who came after me before, and now I've dragged you into it," he snapped. He quickly dropped his gaze to the floor, and his voice was softer when he next spoke. "If something happened to you-"

Liam cut him off. "This could easily have had nothing to do with you. I piss a lot of people off," he insisted, a hand under Zayn's chin forcing him to look at him. "There are probably countless people who think I'm an asshole."

Zayn rolled his eyes at the ridiculousness of that statement. "Only me, and I have a pretty solid alibi."

Liam turned so that his back was to Safaa, shooting him a tired grin. "Rock solid," he whispered, cupping himself as he wiggled his eyebrows.

Zayn couldn't bring himself to laugh, not really, a half-hearted chuckle all he could manage, but he loved Liam more than ever in that moment, for even trying to make him smile, or at least feel better. And he did feel a little better, because here was Liam, right by his side, worrying about _him_. Not about his car, or how much it was going to cost to fix it, but about how Zayn was feeling, because Zayn mattered more to him.  

But feeling a little bit better didn't mean he felt good, guilt and anger still waging a war inside of him. He looked over at Safaa, now engrossed in her show. She looked fine, if a little sleepy, but Zayn couldn't help but wonder if the asshole who'd done this would have come for her next if not for that car alarm. 

His eyes fell to his hands, his palms still lined with half moons from when he'd first seen Liam's car, nails digging into his skin to center him. His hands had changed hundreds of her diapers, and clapped for her when she'd learned to walk. They'd pet an imaginary dog countless times, and built pillow forts and Lego castles, but had failed to protect her over and over, first with the accident and then with the fire, and now with-

"Stop it." Liam's voice was firm, interrupting his dark thoughts. Zayn looked up at him, his eyes burning. "I know what you're thinking, and it's not true. None of this is your fault. You are an amazing big brother, and your sisters are lucky to have you. _I'm_  lucky to have you."

Zayn shook his head, opening his mouth to protest, but Liam didn't let him. "I mean it, Zayn," he said. "Because even if the person doing this is someone you arrested, it's still not your fault. You were doing your job; the one you took so that you could provide for your family. You have done nothing wrong."

Zayn didn't understand how he could be so calm. "How are you not more upset about this?"

Liam tugged on the strings of Zayn's hoodie, his face hardening. "I _am_  upset. Believe me, I wanna tear this guy limb from limb, and I'm not exactly looking forward to driving around with the word asshole written on my car, but that's just it, Zayn. It's just a car. I don't give a fuck if something happens to it. But _you_ , if something ever happened to you-"

"Nothing's gonna happen to me," Zayn cut him off, needing to reassure him, the growing desperation in his voice making his heart hurt.

Liam let out a breath. "Then that's all that matters," he said quietly, not looking at him but instead focusing on the zipper of his hoodie, slowly moving it up and down. "Besides," he went on, his eyes landing on Zayn's face as his lips turned up, "I was thinking of upgrading to an Escalade anyway."

Zayn gave him a half smile. "You see what dating me is like? Cockblocking sisters and fucked up shit spray painted on your car..." he paused, looking up at him through his eyelashes. "You sure I'm worth it?"

"I've never been more sure of anything," Liam said without a second's hesitation, looking Zayn in the eyes for a beat before pulling him into a tight hug. 

Liam was a good hugger, that much was undeniable. Both of his arms wrapped around him, one of them smoothing up and down his back while the other came up to cup the back of his head, holding Zayn to him as his fingers wove into the back of his hair. He tucked his face into Zayn's neck and his lips met his collarbone and just stayed there, holding him until Zayn's breathing slowed to match his own. 

Zayn relaxed into the embrace, linking his hands behind Liam's back as he settled his weight against him. He closed his eyes and rested his head against his shoulder and breathed him in, allowing himself just a moment to hope that what Liam had said was true, and that none of this was his fault.  

It only lasted that long though, a moment, before Zayn knew that he despite Liam's sweet words and good intentions, he was wrong, because if it weren't for Zayn none of this would be happening.

"Everything's gonna be okay, Zayn, I promise," Liam pulled back to tell him, cupping his cheeks. He was forcing a smile but his eyes were worried, his eyebrows pulled down over them as he began to chew on his lower lip. Zayn could see how much Liam needed him to believe him, to know that his words were all Zayn needed to hear to make everything okay again.

He covered Liam's hands with his own, leaning into one of his palms, a shadow of a smile brightening his face a fraction. "You're right, Li; I know you are," he told him quietly, because he loved him enough to lie to him.

Liam let out a deep breath and pulled him to his chest again, hugging him hard for an instant before he was leaning back and kissing him on the lips. Zayn's eyes fluttered closed at the contact, and though the kiss lasted only a few seconds he felt like something wrong was being righted, his world turned slightly less upside down than it had been a moment before. 

Unfortunately the feeling only lasted as long as the kiss had, worry creeping back as they waited for the detective from the arson case to arrive. He soon did, and Zayn and Liam took turns meeting with him in the kitchen, filling Detective Jamison in on the details of the evening one by one so that Safaa didn't have to be left alone in the living room. Jamison's suspicions seemed to line up with Zayn's, though he was quick to add that he wasn't ruling other possibilities out. 

Safaa was asleep on the sofa by the time Zayn was escorting the detective out, her head in Liam's lap as he ran a hand through her hair. Zayn perched on the edge of the couch, cupping his hand around the back of Liam's neck before sliding it down to rest on his shoulder. "Listen, I don't want her to wake up alone, so I'll sleep with her in the girls' room until Don gets home," he whispered so as not to wake her.

Liam turned his head to the side to look up at him, his mouth turned down. "Or we can all sleep in our room? The bed's pretty big and that way you won't have to move in the middle of the night."

Zayn searched his face, taking in his tired eyes and worry bitten lips. "You sure?"

"Of course," Liam said, rolling his eyes and waving Zayn off so that he could scoop Safaa into his arms and stand. "But you're sleeping in the middle," he added as they walked into the bedroom, "so we can spoon."

Zayn smiled for what felt like the first time in hours. He wouldn't want it any other way.

He was woken up the next morning with a foot to the face, Safaa's toes pressing insistently against his chin. His day only got worse from there, when he realized that no part of him was touching any part of Liam. He opened one eye and lifted his head off of his pillow and his mood instantly improved, his gaze landing on Liam's sleeping face. 

He gently moved Safaa's leg away from him, smiling when he saw that she was sprawled out on top of the comforter in between him and Liam, knowing that she must have woken in the middle of the night and decided that that was where she needed to be. Why she'd decided to sleep with her head near the foot of the bed, he wasn't sure.

He looked over at Liam next. He was lying on his stomach with his head turned towards Zayn, sunlight streaking across his bare back, giving his skin a golden hue. He was still sleeping, his back rising and falling steadily with each breath he took, and his lips were pursed, like he was looking for a kiss, the indentation between his eyes getting deeper and deeper every second he went without one. Zayn placed a hand on his back, running his fingers over the rays of light, feeling how they'd warmed his skin. He smiled as he watched the frown disappear from Liam's face, the crease between his brow smoothing out the second Zayn touched him. 

He began to trail his finger over his skin, tracing out giant, looping cursive letters that took up his entire back, spelling out exactly what he felt for him. He knew the exact moment Liam woke up, his muscles flexing beneath his fingertip as he took a deep breath. Still Zayn kept writing, his movements smaller now, complete words written out without stopping, the same eight letters, over and over again.

"Good morning, boyfriend," Liam mumbled without opening his eyes, the half of his mouth that wasn't pressed into his pillow quirking up in a small smile as he blindly searched for Zayn. His hand met Safaa's foot instead, and he opened his eyes, looking sleepy and confused until he saw Zayn. His smile returned at once, and he reached over Safaa to push his hand under Zayn's t-shirt, letting it rest on his waist. "What're you writing? It tickles."  

"I'll never tell," Zayn murmured, finally pulling his hand away.

"Come on, do it again," he said, his brow knitting together again.

Zayn shook his head, unmoved by the pout. "Nope. Guess you'll just have to pay better attention next time."

Liam sighed, pushing his elbow into his pillow so that he could lean his head on his hand as he looked over at Zayn and smiled slowly. "I can't believe you're all mine now," he breathed, his voice soft as he squeezed Zayn's side.

"Alright, don't make it weird," Zayn grumbled, pressing his lips together to keep from smiling.

Liam's smile stretched wider. "I'm gonna boyfriend you so hard." 

Safaa's gasp of delight was quickly followed by her head shooting up from the foot of the bed, clearly wide awake and eavesdropping on them. "Boyfriend?" she asked excitedly.

Liam sat up, picking her up so that he could turn her around and plop her down in between them. Zayn had to turn away when he saw how happy they both looked, hiding his smile as she bounced up and down on the bed, but he didn't miss the not so discreet high five she gave Liam.

"Look at this face, Zayn," Liam demanded, squishing her cheeks together. "Have you ever seen anything cuter?"

Zayn looked from her adorable face to Liam's, his eyes crinkled and his cheek creased, pink indents cutting across his cheekbone. His hair was sleep mussed and falling into his face as he smiled over at Zayn, his grin growing wider the longer he looked at him, making Zayn smile in return.

"Never," Zayn lied. Though he did have to admit that his kid sister looked pretty cute too, her eyes wide as she looked back and forth between Zayn and Liam and clapped her hands together, looking as excited as could be.

"Tell your sister I'm crushing it in the boyfriend game," Liam ordered.

Zayn sat up and frowned. "You don't want me to lie to her, do you?"

Liam shot him a wounded look and as soon as he'd turned away to climb out of bed Zayn nodded at Safaa, scrunching up his nose and mouthing the words _he is_. He reached for Liam next, pulling him back down on the bed. Liam fell onto it easily, his head landing in Zayn's lap. He smiled up at him, and Zayn was weak, so very, very weak, because he'd do anything for that smile.

"You might be kinda crushing it in the boyfriend game, okay?" he mumbled reluctantly, smiling against his will when Liam rewarded his words with a dazzling grin, looking almost as happy as Zayn felt. Almost, but not quite, because Zayn was pretty fucking happy right then, the worries of the night before pushed aside because the sun was shining, and his sister and his boyfriend were both safe and sound, and smiling at him.


	22. Chapter 22

_**It's been so long, it's been so long, maybe we're fireproof...  
** _

They fell into a routine, one that Zayn found himself never wanting to end, hectic mornings leading to long days at work and relaxed evenings at home, followed by nights in bed with Liam that had him wishing the sun would never come up, and before Zayn knew it, Christmas had arrived. A cold front had swept in the night before, turning the rain that hadn't seemed to let up for the past few days into a thick, heavy snowfall, just in time for Christmas morning. Everything was coated in white and seemed fresh and new and full of possibilities, and Zayn tried to focus on that, and not on the fact that the arrival of the holiday meant that their time at Liam's was almost up.

He closed his eyes as he scooted farther back into Liam's embrace, searching for his warmth as he linked their fingers where they rested on his stomach. He brought Liam's hand to his mouth, pressing a smiling kiss to the back of it when he heard Safaa hop out of bed from across the apartment, her footfalls heavy as she ran down the hallway and through the living room before barging into their room. She jumped onto the bed, bouncing twice and landing halfway on top of Zayn and halfway on top of Liam where they were cuddled together. She pushed them apart so that she could jump up and down between them, shouting, "Get up get up get up! Santa was here, I know it!"

Her enthusiasm was infectious, and Zayn found himself grinning over at Liam as he grabbed her and pulled her down on top of him. "No presents before breakfast," he reminded her, tickling her sides as she struggled out of his grasp and jumped down to the floor.

She turned to face him, her eyes wide as she wrapped both hands around his wrist and tried to tug him out of bed. "Then let's go eat breakfast," she grunted.

"Alright, alright," Zayn said, allowing her to pull him to a seated position so that he could swing his legs over the side of the bed, running a hand over his face to try to wake up. "Go make sure your sisters are up and I'll start breakfast. And no peeking at the presents!" he called after her as she scampered from the room.

Liam's chin came to rest on his shoulder, one of his arms wrapping around his waist to scratch along his happy trail. "Think the only other time I've seen someone _that_ excited for something was you trying to get me in bed for the first time."

"Please," Zayn scoffed. "That was _you_." He tried to stand up but Liam didn't let him, pulling him backwards until he was lying flat on the bed, Liam hovering above him.

"Don't you have a Christmas kiss for your boyfriend?"

Zayn shook his head resolutely, placing a hand over Liam's mouth. "Not until you brush your teeth."

Liam pulled his hand away, revealing a huge grin as he dropped down, peppering Zayn's face with kisses. Zayn let him, even going so far as to kiss him back a few times, since it was the season of giving, and all that (he kept his mouth closed though).

"Merry Christmas, boyfriend," Liam said, giving him one last, lingering peck, one that was interrupted when Safaa burst back through the door she'd left open. One look at them and she was putting her hands on her hips, her eyes narrowing.

"It's time for breakfast," she reminded them sternly, holding an accusing finger up in the air and wagging it back and forth. "Not time for kisses."

"We'll be there in a minute," Zayn told her with a groan, waving a hand to shoo her from the room.

Liam pulled a face at Zayn as soon as she was gone. "Can't wait to see her as a teenager," he laughed, pushing himself out of bed before holding out a hand to help Zayn up.

"Yeah," Zayn agreed quietly as he pulled on his plaid pajama pants and a t-shirt, suddenly a little overwhelmed as he watched Liam head into the bathroom. He sat back down on the bed and took a deep breath, trying to calm his thoughts as he ran a hand through his hair.

He'd been treating his heart like a hand grenade for years, keeping that shit locked up tight, where it couldn't explode and hurt him or anyone else. But here was Liam, looking at him like he loved him and acting like he was planning on sticking around long enough to see Safaa as a teen, and somehow that was supposed to be all it took for Zayn to hand it over to him, and to entrust that he wouldn't use it against him? That he wouldn't pull the pin and run as far away as he could get?

He rose to his feet and smiled at Liam as he emerged from the bathroom, taking his place and cleaning up as quickly as he could before heading into the kitchen, not wanting to risk another scolding from Safaa.  

"Look Zayn," Liam said as Zayn walked towards the stove, holding up both hands to point at Safaa where she was sitting on his lap. "Did it all by myself."

Zayn's heart stuttered as he looked at Safaa, taking in the pigtails Liam had put in her hair. They were hopelessly lopsided, loose strands falling all around her face, and Zayn was pretty sure they wouldn't last through breakfast, but Liam looked so proud of himself, his smile blinding as he tightened one of the bands and looked up at him.

Zayn didn't know what he'd done to deserve him.

"Thought you said you didn't like pigtails anymore?" he said to Safaa, his eyes narrowing when he thought back to when she'd told him she was too big for them.

"I like 'em when Liam does 'em," she shrugged, smiling at Liam when he lifted her to put her in her own chair. Liam dropped a kiss on her head when he set her down and Zayn quickly looked away, focusing instead on getting the ingredients for pancakes out, setting everything he would need out on the counter as Waliyha and Doniya joined them in the kitchen.

By the time he'd finished the first batch Liam looked just as restless as Safaa, reaching over her to quickly cut her pancakes into squares and pushing her plate in front of her before shoving a huge bite into his mouth. 

"Do we get to open presents after this?" he asked, his mouth still full.

Zayn raised one eyebrow at him. "You know Santa only brings gifts for patient little girls and boys, right?"

Zayn felt Liam's hand slide up a few inches, moving from where it had been resting on his knee to mid-thigh. "I think we can all agree I've been _very_  patient this year," he reminded Zayn, and he looked so fucking cute, his big brown eyes wide and earnest, that Zayn just had to lean in to kiss him, his mouth landing on the edge of his jaw, his stubble scratchy against his lips.

"Hey," Waliyha groaned. "Not at the table."

"Sorry Liyha, but do you know how long I've had to wait for this?" Liam asked. Zayn did know, because he'd been waiting for just as long. "I'm gonna take all the kisses I can get."  

Zayn smiled at that, pressing another kiss to Liam's cheek before pulling back to focus on his pancakes, his cheeks heating when a finger on his jaw turned his face back towards Liam so that he could give him one last kiss. His lips were sticky with syrup, and sweet and smiling against his own.

"They's boyfriends now," Safaa said matter of factly, surprising absolutely no one at the table with this news.

"They're," Zayn corrected her as he pulled away, his gaze dropping down to Liam's chest and his smile getting even bigger when he realized that Liam was wearing the shirt that went with the pants he had on, the blue flannel plaid making his eyes look rich and deep in comparison.

"You stealing my stuff now?" he asked quietly, tugging on the sleeve.

Liam shrugged. "Looks better on me," he said, and Zayn wasn't about to argue with that. 

Or maybe he was, Liam's smug grin too much for him to ignore. "Simmer down, it doesn't look _that_ good on you," he informed him, turning back to his plate and slapping Liam's fork away when he tried to steal a bite.

"I'm done," Safaa said, her mouth full as she wiped it off with the back of her hand and hopped down from her chair. "Presents?" she asked, her chubby little fingers curling around the edge of the table.

"Presents," Doniya agreed for the rest of them, wiping Safaa's face off and smiling at her. Zayn gulped down the last of his orange juice and followed them into the living room, grinning as he watched Safaa drop to her knees to begin sorting through the gifts. She tossed anything that didn't have her name on it to the side, but Doniya was there to gather them up, passing them out to everyone as they settled down about the room.

Zayn chose a spot in front of the sofa, smiling at Liam when he sat down right next to him, their legs brushing as the sound of Christmas carols from the CD he'd just put on filled the room. He looked over at him, the lights from the Christmas tree casting a warm glow against the side of his face, taking in his excited eyes and bright grin and wondering what he'd be doing today if Zayn and his family weren't there. If he'd have gone to visit his parents, or if he'd be in the apartment all alone, maybe even pretending that it was just like every other day. As it was he'd had to work a double to get the day off, and though Zayn had missed him more than he should have during the forty-eight hours he was gone, it was worth it to see how excited he looked for presents now.

"I'm glad we're here for Christmas, and not back at our apartment," Zayn told him, his voice soft as he nudged him with his knee.

Liam looked over at him, his face full of wonder. "Me too. It's like a free-for-all," he said, gesturing to where all three of Zayn's sisters were already ripping into their presents. "I've never seen anything like it."

Zayn laughed, taking in the chaos around him as a familiar sense of nostalgia washed over him, this Christmas feeling no different than any of the others they'd had for the last four years. Only now that he thought about it, there were subtle changes this year, Safaa now able to identify her own presents under the tree, and Waliyha looking so much more grown up than she had just a year before, her hair now perfectly straightened instead of the messy ponytail she'd sported for so long, her makeup visible from across the room when last year her face had been bare. And then there was the most glaring difference of all; Liam, his presence affecting Zayn more profoundly than Clark's ever had.

"Guess we better join in, yeah?" he said, handing a present to Liam. He tore into it, opening it to find a vintage t-shirt that Waliyha had bought him. It looked to be about two sizes too small, so Zayn was sure Liam would be torturing him with it in no time. That gift was quickly followed by the board game Zayn had let Safaa pick out for him (okay, he maybe possibly might have steered her towards it). It was called Princess Party Palace, and he couldn't wait to watch Liam play it.

"Thank you, Saf; I love it," Liam said, trying and failing to pull her attention from where she was searching through scraps of discarded wrapping paper for more presents. Zayn turned away from her, holding his breath as Waliyha began to unwrap the gift he'd been saving for months to get her.

Her eyes were shining when she looked up at him, her gaze flitting from his face to the box in her hands and back again. "You got me a new iPhone?"

"It's from Don too, and it's not just for Christmas," he said, scrunching his nose up when she crawled over to him to give him a hug, the box still clutched in her hand digging into his back when she wrapped an arm around him. "It's for your report card too."

"We're really proud of you," Doniya added when it was her turn for a hug.

Zayn turned from them to Liam to find him looking at him in disbelief. "What?" he asked, reaching for another present to distract himself as he felt heat start to creep up his neck to his cheeks.

Liam leaned in, bumping his shoulder against Zayn's. "Your phone's had a crack in it for as long as I've known you, and your battery only lasts like an hour..."

Zayn shrugged, still not looking at him. "She gets really good grades, and is on track for a scholarship if she keeps it up," he told him in a low voice. "Plus she helps out with Saf whenever we ask her to. She deserves a nice phone."

"When's your birthday?" Liam asked, his hand joining Zayn's where it lay on top of the box in his lap, rubbing his thumb over Zayn's knuckles. "You deserve a nice phone too."

Zayn looked over at him, fighting to control the fluttering in his heart. "That ugly pic of you would probably crack that screen too," he told him, trying to keep his voice light.

Liam laughed, throwing his head back as his eyes closed, and a second later Zayn was laughing too. Liam quieted him with a kiss as he leaned over him, reaching under the tree to pull out a large, flat present. It was rectangular and as long as Zayn's arm, the red reindeer wrapping covering it best described as haphazard.

"For you," Liam said, sitting back down and handing it to Zayn with a nervous smile.

Zayn slid his finger under the tape, undoing the wrapping paper carefully, pointedly keeping his eyes on the present and not on Liam, the expectant weight of his gaze making his pulse quicken.

He could see that it was a stretched canvas frame as the last of the wrapping paper fell away, and slowly turned it over to see his sisters' smiling faces staring back at him. It was from the day Liam had stopped by to take pictures before Waliyha's dance, and Zayn smiled when he saw that it wasn't one of the posed photos Doniya had insisted on, but a candid. In it Safaa's arms were spread wide, searching for something she couldn't see with Zayn's hand covering her eyes, and Doniya was reaching for her, her mouth open in a laugh. Waliyha's mouth was open too, this time in shock, her face turned towards Zayn and her eyes big and round as she reacted to whatever he'd said to her. And then there was Zayn. He was the only one of them looking at the camera, his free arm hooked around Waliyha's shoulder as he smiled widely.

Zayn remembered that moment, and he hadn't been looking at the camera at all, but at the man holding it, his smile stretching to its limit when he saw the way Liam was watching him.

Liam was watching him now too, biting his lip as he waited to see how he'd respond. 

"I love it," he said.

 _I love you_ , he thought.

Liam's whole face transformed the second he said it, and it was like watching the sun come out from behind the clouds, a smile replacing his frown and uncontainable joy replacing any hint of doubt. "You do?"

"It's perfect," Zayn assured him. "Look what Liam got me," he said to the girls, rising to his feet so that he could set the picture on the top of the bookshelf. He walked quickly to the tree as they stood to get a closer look at the photo, picking up the last stack of gifts. "Time for the moment of truth," he said, handing them out one by one.

"What's this?" Liam asked when Zayn held out one of the boxes to him. He took it, looking confused as he ran his hand over the red wrapping paper, his finger tracing the outline of a bright white snowman.

"Every year we each pick out a sweater for someone else, and whoever chose the ugliest one gets to pick what movie we go see," Zayn told him, sitting down next to him and opening his box to reveal a hideous neon green sweatshirt, a quilted brown reindeer with crossed eyes, buck teeth and a flashing red nose dominating the center of it. "It's a Malik family tradition." 

"And you got me one?" Liam asked, clearly amazed.

"Don't be stupid," Zayn said, pursing his lips to let him know that he'd never considered _not_ getting him one.

Liam smiled as he looked around the room, watching as everyone opened their boxes and pulled out their sweaters, each one seemingly uglier than the one before. He was the last one to open his box, and his grin only got bigger when he ripped off the paper and pulled off the top to see that he did indeed have an ugly sweater of his own.

He pulled the sweater completely out of the box, took one look at it and immediately turned to Zayn. "Mine's definitely uglier than yours."

Zayn didn't need to look at the sweater in his hands to be able to agree, having picked it out especially for him. "For once you're right. Let's see it on."

Liam didn't need to be asked twice, whipping off his shirt and quickly tugging the sweater over his head, his hand smoothing proudly over the rainbow lettered  _FRUIT CAKE_  written at the top of it, then running down to his stomach, fingering the jewel colored embellishments dispersed unevenly throughout the brown blob that Zayn assumed was supposed to resemble said fruit cake.

"I've got this in the bag," Liam said, raising his head to look at Zayn with a happy smile.

"We'll see," Zayn said, pulling on his sweatshirt before pushing himself to his feet and walking towards where his sisters had gathered.

"Is your camera nearby?" Doniya asked Liam, smiling when he pointed to where it was laying under the coffee table. "Good. Want a picture of all of us."

Liam grabbed it and stood, positioning himself in front of them as they crowded together, Zayn and Doniya in back and the younger girls in standing on either side of them, angled slightly closer to the camera.

"What're you doing over there?" Waliyha asked Liam, waving him forward. "She said all of us."

"Me? But I've got to take the picture," he said, holding his camera up in the air.

"It's got a timer, right?" Zayn asked, waiting for Liam to nod before continuing. "So use it already."

He could see Liam trying not to smile as he fumbled with the timer and set the camera on the bookshelf opposite them, and it only made him smile harder, the sight of Liam in that hideous sweater making him feel generous. "Want you over here, Li, right next to me," he said as he joined them, sliding into the spot between Zayn and Doniya. Zayn tugged on his sweater to pull him to his side, his skin feeling hot as he watched Liam's smile take over his face, his shoulders rising up to his chin like he didn't know what to do with himself.

But Zayn knew exactly what he wanted to do to him, and the thoughts swimming through his head made him pull Liam even closer, his arm wrapping around Liam's waist, his hand settling on his hip and squeezing just as _All I Want for Christmas_ began to play, Mariah's voice drowning out the click and whir of the camera. Liam began to sing quietly along at once, his hand dropping lower and lower on Zayn's back with every _make my wish come true_ and _all I want for Christmas is you_. 

Zayn's grin faltered when Liam turned his head towards him, his breath against his ear making the hair on the back of his neck stand on edge. "You gonna give me my present soon, babe?" he whispered, and Zayn was pretty sure he wasn't talking about the gift he'd hidden on the other side of the tree. His suspicions were confirmed a second later, Liam's breathy, "Gonna ride me like a good boy?" making him scramble forward to shut the camera off, not wanting his sisters to see the face he was probably making for the last set of shots.

"Um, I think I might need to skip the movie," he said, fiddling with the camera and looking at no one in particular. "Kinda feel a headache coming on."

"I better stay here with him," Liam said quickly, coming to stand next to Zayn like he was ready to catch him in case he fainted. "Make sure he's okay." 

Doniya and Waliyha looked utterly unimpressed with their excuses but didn't protest, and Safaa was too busy with her new toys to even notice what was happening, so Zayn busied himself cleaning up while Liam disappeared into the bedroom and the girls got ready to leave. 

"Wait, I think we missed one," Waliyha said as they were putting on their coats, squinting as she bent down to pull a small silver gift bag out from behind the tree. 

"That's nothing," Zayn practically yelled, snatching it from her and shoving it behind him, hiding it between his back and the couch cushion, fast enough that he hoped Liam hadn't seen as he walked back into the room.

"I don't even want to know," she groaned, shuddering as she pulled her beanie down over her forehead and turned away from him.

As soon as they were out the door Liam was bouncing on the balls of his feet, one hand shoved in his pocket as he beckoned for Zayn to follow him to the bedroom with the other.

Zayn rose slowly to his feet, every nerve in his body straining under the weight of pretending like he wasn't fucking dying to chase after Liam, to follow him into his bedroom and anywhere else that he wanted to lead him, forever. The effort it took to move at such a leisurely pace took its toll on him, but he still managed to look good doing it.

"Okay, okay," he said, when Liam motioned for him to move faster. "Let's get this over with." 

Liam grinned at that, and then he was sweeping Zayn off of his feet and throwing him over his shoulder. "We're gonna do this," he said, smacking him on the ass, "and you're gonna like it."

"Oh I am, am I?" Zayn demanded, trying to sound affronted.

"You are," he confirmed, setting Zayn on his feet as soon as they were in the bedroom. Zayn's eyes fell at once to the bed to see that Liam had carefully laid his jersey out, the  _PAYNE_  written above the number 49 staring him right in the face, and goddammit he'd really been hoping Liam had forgotten that part of the plan.

"I warmed it up in the dryer for you," Liam told him.

"How thoughtful," he grumbled, his voice softening a bit when he noticed the candles lining the nightstands and window sill, and the music coming from Liam's laptop where it was set out on the dresser.

"Baby boy, you stay on my mind, fulfill my fantasies," Liam sang softly, coming up behind him and sliding his hands around his waist. "I think about you all the time, I see you in my dreams," he continued, his lips on the shell of Zayn's ear as his hands dipped lower, teasing fingers tracing the front of Zayn's pants.

"Is this your sex playlist?" Zayn asked, trying not to think of all the other guys he'd probably played it for.

"Mmmhmm," Liam murmured, mouth moving down Zayn's neck to his shoulder and back again. "Made it just for us."

Zayn smiled, relaxing into Liam's arms as he started to touch him with more purpose, one hand pushing under his sweatshirt as the other curled around his rapidly hardening length. He groaned against Zayn's skin, his hips pulsing forward to show Zayn how much he was enjoying himself, but it wasn't enough for Zayn, so he turned around, wanting to see for himself. He smirked when he saw how dark Liam's eyes already were, two fingers in the waistband of his sweats tugging him closer so that he could fit their hips together.

Liam leaned in to kiss him, his head tilting to the side as he cupped Zayn's cheeks and slotted their mouths together. Zayn's lips parted at once, his tongue slipping past Liam's as he walked him backwards towards the bed. Liam grunted when his knees hit the back of it but stayed standing, so Zayn braced his hands on his shoulders, breaking their kiss to push him down onto it. 

Liam immediately tried to sit up but Zayn didn't let him, forcing him back down as he climbed on top of him. He wasted no time once he was there, his knees bracketing Liam's hips as he bent over to kiss him, hoping that he could sidetrack Liam from the whole jersey thing with the way he rolled his hips against him, and the trail of kisses he pressed across his jaw and down the column of his throat, soft lips dragging across rough stubble.

Liam moaned when Zayn mouthed over the birthmark just under his Adam's apple and he thought he had him, but a second later he was pushing him off of him and scooting away, not stopping until his back hit the headboard. Zayn started towards him at once, but Liam quickly held up a hand to stop him. 

"Don't come any closer until you're wearing that jersey," he ordered, and Zayn couldn't fucking believe he was going to have to choose between wearing Liam's jersey or not getting any.

Less than a second passed before he found himself reaching for the shirt, the temptation that was Liam Payne too great for him to be able to resist.

He held it up in front of him, the material warming his hands as he wondered how he'd gotten into this mess, before setting it back down, sending one last aggrieved look towards Liam as he took a deep breath and stood, tugging his sweatshirt off. He pushed his pants to the ground next and stepped out of them, his socks joining them on the floor a second later, leaving him standing in just the boxer briefs Liam had brought home for him a few days before, the red hearts dotting them bright against the white background.

"You sure you want me to put clothes back on?" he asked coyly, turning towards Liam and running a hand down his chest to his abs, his thumb hooking into the waistband of his boxers to drag them down an inch or two, revealing the tattoos lining his hips and hoping that all of the skin he was showing would distract Liam.

Unfortunately Liam was annoyingly single minded in his determination. "Never thought I'd see the day that I'd say yes to that question, but yeah, I'm sure," he answered at once. 

" _Fine_ ," Zayn groaned, though he made no move to actually put the jersey on, his eyes still on Liam. "I can't take this seriously with you in that sweater," he griped, stalling for time.

Liam looked happy as a pig in shit as he tore his sweater off and tossed it to the side, so Zayn sighed and reached for the jersey. He pulled it over his head without fanfare, briefly wondering if he was supposed to be putting on a show, or being sexy, or whatever, and deciding that that would only make this whole fiasco even more embarrassing than it already was.

He avoided Liam's face once it was on, instead looking down to see that one side of the jersey was caught on the waistband of his boxers. He tugged it out quickly, feeling stupid for ever having come up with this idea. But then he risked a glance at Liam, and saw that he was gaping at him, his eyes moving up and down his body like he couldn't get enough of him, and suddenly he didn't feel quite as stupid. Or maybe not stupid at all, since Liam certainly seemed to like the sight of him in his jersey.

"Would you look at that," he murmured thoughtfully, a smile playing at his lips. "My favorite color, on my favorite person."

Zayn was stunned for a second, and then, just like that, he was stupid happy, because apparently he was Liam's favorite person. He let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding, wondering if it was possible to be addicted to a smile, or a kiss, or the feeling he got deep in his belly when Liam looked at him like he was now. Or if he could be addicted to Liam himself, to the person he was, and the way he made Zayn feel.

"You like?" he asked, hooking his fingers under the hem to pull one side out a bit, the material stretching tight across his chest.

"Like's not the word for what I'm feeling right now," Liam promised, holding a finger up in the air and twirling it.

Zayn rolled his eyes but did as he was asked, spinning around in a slow circle so that Liam could get a could look at him from all sides. One of Liam's knees was bent when Zayn came to face him again, his palm smoothing over the front of his sweats, which Zayn could see were getting tighter and tighter the longer he looked at him.

Zayn's cock twitched at the sight, and he pushed a hand under the stiff nylon of the jersey, raising it to reveal the bulge in his boxers and the lower half of his stomach as he bit his lip, his middle finger playing over his nipple.

Liam groaned, his hand pressing harder into his lap, and Zayn felt himself relax, getting a little more into it as his free hand moved to the front of his boxer briefs, wrapping a loose hand around himself through the cotton so that Liam could see how hard he was for him. Liam's eyes followed his hand as he began to move it up and down, stroking himself, his own hand curling to form a fist as he copied his movements. Zayn liked that, so he took a step closer to him, wanting a better look. He put one knee on the bed, and then the other, feeling it dip beneath his weight as he bent forward so that he could slowly crawl to Liam's side. 

Liam reached for him at once, trying to pull him on top of him, but Zayn didn't let him, pushing his hands back down to the bed before leaning in and kissing him. Their mouths were the only part of them touching, their lips parting automatically, Zayn's tongue moving languidly against Liam's as he deepened the kiss. Liam moaned, sucking Zayn's lower lip into his mouth as he reached for him once more, so Zayn pulled back, shaking his head at him.

"Don't be naughty," he murmured, pinning Liam's wrists to the bed.

"C'mon," Liam groaned, sneaking a hand out of Zayn's grasp so that he could run it up the back of his leg, his touch firm and desperate, fingers digging into his flesh. "Want you so fuckin' bad."

Liam's lips were pouty without him even trying, so seeing him like this, his lower lip purposely pushed out, was positively indecent, Zayn only able to focus on how much he wanted to bite it. He tilted his head to the side and gave in, smoothing his hands up Liam's stomach and over his chest. His skin was hot to the touch, the hair on his chest soft underneath his fingertips as he swung a leg over him, settling down on his lap as his hands came to rest on his shoulders. He began to gyrate his hips, rolling them again and again as he felt Liam's length throb beneath him.

Liam sat up straight, his arms wrapping around Zayn as he brought their mouths together, kissing him hard. Zayn gave himself over to it, reaching between them to try to pull Liam's sweats down without moving off of him, needing to feel more of him. "Get these off," he mumbled against his lips.

Liam was quick to listen, lifting his hips and Zayn with them to push them down before kicking them to the side. Zayn looked down and let out a quiet laugh, surprise seeping through him when he saw that Liam's boxer briefs were a perfect counterpart to his own, the red cotton and shiny white hearts looking really fucking good on him, the waistband bunched low on his hips, barely containing him as he gripped Zayn's side, forcing him closer so that their cocks could touch.

"What?" Liam said, moaning at the contact as he leaned in to kiss him again, his hand slipping under the jersey as he rocked his hips up, trying to get Zayn moving again. "Wanted us to match."

Zayn broke the kiss to look back down, quite liking the sight of Liam in those boxers, his hard cock stretching them to their limit, one of the hearts going almost transparent as his tip dripped onto it. Zayn was just as hard, so as much as he liked watching their clothed cocks rubbing together, he was pretty sure he was going to like it even more once they were both naked. 

He rolled off of him and pushed his briefs down, then sat up and did the same to Liam's, his mouth watering as he took in Liam in all his glory, all skin and skin and skin, miles of it on display for him, his length arching towards his stomach and his abs rippling as he reached to the side, fumbling in the nightstand for the lube. 

It felt impossible, how much he wanted him.

As soon as Liam had the bottle in hand he was pulling Zayn back on top of him and wetting his fingers, rubbing them together to warm them.

"Want you just like this," he told him, one hand settling on Zayn's side, his thumb skating over his hipbone as his other reached beneath him, a slick finger rubbing teasing circles over his hole.

Zayn exhaled, trying to relax as Liam pushed it inside, working it in to the knuckle before adding a second. He leaned back against the headboard, looking up at Zayn with gleaming eyes as a wicked smile spread across his face. 

"Show me how you're gonna ride me, babe," he urged him quietly, his fingers twisting inside of him to nudge at his spot. Zayn's thighs trembled when he hit it, his cock twitching as he braced his hands on the top of headboard and rose up on his knees. Liam held his hand still, another pearl of precome sliding out of his slit as he watched Zayn sink back down on his fingers. 

Zayn moved a hand to the front of the jersey, lifting it slightly so that Liam could see how hard he was, and the way the muscles of his stomach tightened when he started to roll his hips, working Liam's fingers in and out of him.

The sight must have been too much for Liam, because he was pulling his hand away a second later and reaching for the lube. Zayn stopped him, moving his wrist back down to the bed and holding it there, the light blue bedspread the perfect backdrop for his tan skin as Zayn moved down his body, not stopping until he was settled in between his spread thighs. 

He let go of Liam's wrist so that he could run his hands up his legs, his touch light as his thumbs skimmed up his inner thighs and over his balls before tracing the pulsing vein running up the underside of his cock. He smirked when it throbbed beneath his fingertip, and did it again, and again, trailing it up and down his length as Liam's hands fisted into the sheets, his chest already heaving despite the fact that Zayn was barely touching him.

"Tease," he groaned, gripping Zayn's bicep to try to pull him closer. Zayn shook his head and shot him a warning look, wrapping a hand around his base and dipping down to press a kiss to his tip, his lips spreading out over the head of his cock. Liam didn't have anything to say to that, letting out a low groan as Zayn's tongue lapped at his slit, enjoying the taste of him. He kept his eyes on Liam, blinking up at him as his lips parted so that he could slide him into his mouth. He liked the way Liam bit his lower lip as he sucked him down, and how he balled his hands into fists at his side to keep from reaching out towards him as he moved him in and out of his mouth, taking him farther and farther each time.

"Oh god, please don't stop," Liam begged, his back arching as Zayn's tongue swirled around his tip.

Zayn's hips pushed forward of their own volition, the drag of the soft cotton against his hard cock sending a shiver of pleasure through him. "Feel good?" he pulled off to ask, needing to hear it.

"Too good," Liam groaned. "Gonna make me come if you keep going." 

Zayn liked the sound of that, so he sucked him farther into his mouth, not stopping until he hit the back of his throat, his eyes watering as he swallowed around him, Liam's strangled moan music to his ears. "Okay, no, you need to stop, stop right now," he pleaded, pushing Zayn away from him.

Zayn sat up on his knees, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he crawled back on top of Liam, lips parting in anticipation as he watched him coat his length. As soon as he was ready Zayn scooted closer, hovering above him as he lined himself up. And then he was sliding down on him, the thick of him splitting him open in the most perfect way as he slowly took all of him in.

Liam's eyes were hooded when he looked down at him, his teeth digging into his lower lip.

"Don't move yet," he begged, grimacing. Zayn ignored him, the drive to feel more of him undeniable. He pushed himself up to his knees, enjoying the slow drag of his cock as he started to ride him, but Liam stopped him, his hands gripping his hips harshly as he held him still. "Just gimme a minute," he groaned, letting out a pained hiss as Zayn sunk back down on him.

"What's wrong?" he asked, worry shooting through him as he wondered if he'd somehow fucked this up.

"Nothing's wrong, except for the fact that I'm gonna come if you don't give me a few seconds to calm down. Talk to me about baseball, or tax evasion, or anything that isn't how fucking good you feel."

Zayn smirked, subtly rolling his hips, his cock pulsing as Liam's entire body jerked forward at the movement, his arms wrapping tightly around Zayn's middle to hold him still. He felt inexplicably proud that he was causing this reaction in Liam, the knowledge that Liam could feel just as out of control as he often did lighting him up inside.

"Am I not tight enough for ya, babe? Is that the problem?" he asked, clenching around him, a pained laugh escaping him as Liam's teeth dug into his shoulder. He held still after that, stroking a hand through Liam's hair where it was pressed to his chest and hoping that he couldn't feel how hard his heart was beating.

"...Hughes, Washington, Williams," Liam murmured after a moment, as whatever mental gymnastics he'd been doing finally came to an end. "Okay, you can move now," he said quietly. "Just go slow."

Zayn bunched the jersey up around his waist, wanting Liam to see more of him as he began roll his hips, keeping Liam mostly inside of him as he moved in figure eights, his head dropping back whenever Liam's tip massaged his spot. And then, when he couldn't take it anymore, he began to move more forcefully, rocking his hips back and forth as he slid up and down Liam's length.

It felt so good, every inch of Liam pushing in and out of him driving him to move faster, until he was bouncing on his dick like his life depended on it. Liam seemed to like that, his hands wrapping roughly around Zayn's waist, squeezing his sides as he began to match his movements, lifting him up and then pushing him down, sliding him along the length of his cock. He kept his gaze locked on where he was moving in and out of him, his breath catching every time he bottomed out.

Zayn was in love with every sound that came out of his mouth, every soft gasp and breathy moan. He was in love with everything about Liam, and he didn't know how much longer he could go without saying it, the truth threatening to be dragged out of him as Liam's mouth found his throat, his lips landing just over his pulse. Zayn hugged him closer, their hearts feeling like they were trying to outrace each other where they were pressed together. 

Liam's hand moved up Zayn's back, coming to a stop right over the _PAYNE_ as his other slid up to frame his face. "Love seeing my name on you," he whispered, blinking up at him before kissing him hard, like he was desperate to drive the point home. "Love it so much."

Zayn's heart skipped a beat, and he leaned in to kiss him again as the pressure began to build, starting in his spine and flowing outwards, until it was all he could feel. He connected their lips, moaning into his mouth as he reached between them, needing more friction so that he could come.

"I got this," Liam murmured against his mouth, knocking his hand out of the way so that he could pump his cock. Zayn was wet enough that he didn't need lube to glide his hand up and down his hard length, instead smoothing the precome gathering at his tip over his shaft.

Zayn moaned loudly, one touch from Liam threatening to send him over the edge, and then Liam was stroking him harder, and faster, and he was free falling into ecstasy.

"Come with me," he begged, his nails scratching down Liam's back as pleasure shot through his veins and he spilled over Liam's fingers, coating them as he pumped his hips up, fucking into Zayn as he started to come, his entire body shaking as he emptied himself into him.

It took a few moments before either of them were able to move, their bodies still wrapped around each other as they tried to catch their breath. And even when they could move they didn't want to. So they stayed exactly like that, Liam's face pressed to his jersey, Zayn's head dropped down onto Liam's shoulder.

Liam finally lifted his head, his fingers running softly through Zayn's hair, fingertips just barely grazing his hairline as he brushed a strand off of his forehead.

"Damn," he breathed, his forehead knocking against Zayn's as he nudged their noses together. "Best. Christmas. Ever."

"Agreed," Zayn murmured, raising his hand for a high tired five.

Liam's mouth fell open in a laugh as he gave him what he wanted, and Zayn didn't think he'd ever felt more relaxed, his sated brain already half asleep as he crawled off of Liam and curled up on the bed, fully intending to sleep the next few hours away.

Liam, however, had other plans.

"Don't think I've forgotten about that other gift," he said, smoothing his hand over Zayn's hip to the soft curve of his waist.

Zayn stiffened. "What gift?" he hedged.

Liam's lips landed on his shoulder, muffling his next words as his hand slid around to Zayn's stomach. "That silver bag I saw you hiding earlier."

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about," Zayn insisted, picking Liam's hand up and dropping into onto the bed before pushing himself up and walking towards the bathroom, only stopping to grab his boxers along the way.

He stayed in there as long as he thought he could get away with, hoping that by the time he got out of the shower that Liam would be asleep.

No such luck. Liam was fully dressed and sitting crossed legged in the middle of the bed when Zayn came out of the bathroom, his smile firmly in place as he looked at him expectantly.

"Had to put some clothes on. I know how tempting you find it when I show a little skin and I'm not letting you have your way with me again until I get that gift," he told him, making it clear that he wasn't going to let this go, and Zayn really shouldn't have expected anything less given his track record of being the most annoying person in the entire world.

"Whatever," he huffed, stomping out of the bedroom to grab the gift from the sofa, calling out, "Close your eyes," on his way back. Liam's hand was dutifully covering the top half of his face when he came back into the bedroom, so Zayn walked to the bed, taking one last look inside the gift bag and sighing deeply before setting it down in front of him. He glanced nervously at Liam's face to find him peeking through his fingers, clearly delighted at how uncomfortable this was making him.

"Just remember that the jersey thing was your real gift," he said, snatching up the gift bag just as Liam went for it and holding it out of his reach. "This is just a joke, okay? I was just kidding around."

"Gimme," Liam said excitedly, making grabby hands. Zayn groaned and gave in, tossing the bag in front of him like he couldn't care less. Liam turned it upside down and dumped its contents onto the bed at once, and Zayn had to look away, not wanting to see his reaction. Limited funds and a lack of free time had forced him to be creative, and for some unknown reason he'd tricked himself into believing that it was a good idea to get Liam a bunch of refrigerator magnets, not just random ones, but ones that might mean something to him. To them.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"Oh my god," Liam said, drawing Zayn's attention towards him as he started to sort through them, turning them all over so that they were facing the right way, his hand moving quickly from the football to the firefighter helmet to the police badge before pausing over the one from the bar where they'd first hung out. It was all there, a map of their relationship, starting with the football and ending with one Zayn picked up now, turning it over in his hand as he sat down on the edge of the bed, his back to Liam as he looked down at the _World's Best Boyfriend_  button.

"It took me like half a day to get all these, so you could maybe not give me too hard of a time, okay?" he said, his cheeks flaming. "I said it was just a joke."

"It's alright, I already knew you were obsessed with me," was Liam's immediate response, and Zayn could practically hear the smug smile in his voice.

"I'm sorry,  _what_?" he demanded, deeply offended. He swiveled to the side to see Liam holding up the gummy bear magnet that he'd found at the corner shop, it's bright red color probably an exact match for Zayn's face at this point.

"You pine for me," Liam continued, undeterred by Zayn's harsh glare.

"I do not, actually," Zayn assured him, his voice clipped as he turned around further to fully face him, pulling his leg up onto the bed with him. "You are as ugly as you are annoying."

Liam's hand came to rest over his heart, his smile softening as he batted his eyelashes at him. "You yearn."

"Bite me," Zayn snapped, looking away again.

"What was that?" Liam asked, crawling forward to grab Zayn's waist, tickling his sides as he tugged him backwards and leaned over him, his teeth finding Zayn's neck as Zayn struggled not to laugh. "You want me to bite you?"

Zayn tried to push him away, but Liam was too strong, holding him down with one hand while the other continued its assault. He knew all of Zayn's most ticklish spots and he put that knowledge to good use, torturing him until tears were streaming down Zayn's face, his breath coming out in hiccups as Liam's teeth nibbled their way down his chest to his stomach, pausing only to blow a raspberry onto his belly button. 

"Oh my god," Zayn gasped without meaning to, unable to control the words tumbling from his lips as he became lightheaded from laughing too much. "Why am I in love with an idiot?" he blurted out, freezing immediately because oh my fucking god he had not meant to say that out loud.

Liam was suddenly very still on top of him, his hands tightening on his waist as he stared up at him, his grin faltering. "What'd you just say?"

Zayn hesitated, his heart beating harder than it ever had before as every other part of him stayed frozen. "I said you're kind of alright, for a fireman."

The loud laugh Liam let out as he scooted back and reached a hand out to help him up made Zayn's muscles relax a fraction, as did the way he knocked his head against Zayn's shoulder once they were both upright. 

"And you're kind of a prick, but I love you too," he said easily, already looking away, and it was so obvious that he was only joking that Zayn kind of wanted to crawl under the covers and never come out.

But then Liam glanced over at him and smiled, so warm and sweet, and suddenly Zayn was a little less afraid to say what he needed to say. Okay, he was still scared shitless, goosebumps breaking out over every inch of his skin as he thought of all the ways this could backfire, but quieting the fear a bit was the fact that he already loved Liam more than anyone had ever loved anyone ever, and that wasn't going to change whether Liam knew it or not. Plus, there was the teeny tiny possibility that Liam might love him back, which was kind of something he'd like to know sooner rather than later.

So he ignored the hammering of his heart and the rushing of his blood and the worries swirling through his brain and cleared his throat, ready to tell him everything, consequences be damned. 

"I do though," he said quietly.

Liam didn't look up from where he was sorting through the magnets, a miniature replica of a Twister game board in one hand and the logo from the club where they'd shared their first dance in the other. "Do what?" he asked distractedly.

Zayn took a deep breath. "I love you."

The magnets fell to the bed as Liam's mouth opened in surprise, his back straightening as he turned towards Zayn. And then he let loose with a smile that outshone any star in the sky, its brilliance rivaling the sun on the brightest summer day, pink creeping across his cheeks as he reached forward to pull Zayn down, pressing his back against the bed so that he was lying half under him, a magnet digging into his shoulder blade.

Zayn grabbed Liam's hand where it landed just over his heart, bracing himself for what he would say next. He could see the snow falling softly outside when he looked over Liam's shoulder, fat white flakes sticking to the window, and he tried to focus on that, and not how long it was taking Liam to respond.

"Hey," he said softly, forcing Zayn to look at him. Zayn did, his breath hitching and his hopes plummeting as he watched Liam's smile fade into a frown, his brow crinkling as he pursed his lips. "I wanted to say it first, you shit," he said.

Zayn allowed himself one second to let that to sink in, and then he groaned, pushing Liam off of him so that he could more effectively stare him down. "Well, what took you so fucking long?" he demanded, tossing his hands in the air before a terrible thought occurred to him. "Or, is this like, new? You feeling this way?"

Liam laughed, batting Zayn's hand away so that he could crawl over him again, tangling their fingers together over Zayn's chest. "No, it's not new, you big dummy. I've pretty much been in love with you since we first met. I was just waiting until I was sure you'd say it back. Didn't want to scare you off."

Zayn kind of hated how well he knew him. "You wouldn't have scared me off," he insisted anyway.

"Not even if I'd said it the night we first kissed, after the club?" Liam asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

Zayn's heart was full to bursting, happiness radiating through every cell in his body. "Please," he scoffed, trying not to smile. "I loved you way before then."

"I'm sure that I loved you first," Liam told him, grinning widely. "Whatever day you fell in love with me, I fell in love with you the day before that."

"Try and up me one more time, motherfucker," Zayn warned him, pulling him in for a kiss.

Liam laughed through the kiss, backing away to tell him, "I can't help it that I'm the first and the best at everything, Zayn."

Zayn looked up at him, at his shining eyes and his heart-shaped mouth, running his thumb over his lips. "You still haven't said it, though," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Liam cocked his head to the side. "Said what?"

" _I love you_ ," Zayn muttered, rolling his eyes. "Like, you still haven't actually said the words. If we're being technical."

"Well, if we're being technical, then I guess I better say it," Liam agreed. He then proceeded to say nothing at all, because he was the most aggravating person on the face of the planet.

"Well?" Zayn demanded, slapping his chest with the back of his hand.

"Oh right, sorry," Liam smiled, not looking sorry at all. "I love you," he said, his voice tinged with amusement as he planted a kiss on the corner of Zayn's mouth.

"Again," Zayn said at once, because one time wasn't enough for him, not nearly.

"What?" Liam asked, looking confused.

"Say...it...again," Zayn said slowly, shooting him a pointed look.

Liam grinned, his eyes full of wonder and his gaze full of love. "I love you, Zayn Malik, so so much."

The words wrapped around Zayn like a warm blanket, and he finally gave into his grin, pulling Liam closer so that he could kiss him, wanting to taste the words on his tongue. 

"Way more than you could ever love me," Liam added just before their lips met. 

Zayn punched him in the shoulder. And then he kissed him, because he loved Liam, and Liam loved him, and he hoped they'd be fighting over who loved who most for a long, long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm [cupcakes-x-cocaine](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/cupcakes-x-cocaine) on tumblr if you want to talk about Zayn :-)


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